# How to keep the first mate happy on long cruises



## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I think I've found the secret to keeping a first mate. We all know how guelling time at sea is, but, I think I've hit on the answer for a happy and content first mate.

Upon hitting a harbor, with a cruiser's net, I try to find out which are the best spas in town. Usually 3 or 4 women will come on with recommendations, most times with the same name. and usually at a luxury hotel.

Myself in need of some muscle straigtening, we pack up for a hotel overnighter, she goes into the spa for a massage, algae wrap, followed by a cleansing massage, depilation, manicure, pedicure, sometimes a hair treatment and gloss (I just learned these words).

For myself, I park myself in front of the swimming pool and ogle with a neverending banana colada in hand. Straightens the muscle very well.

5 hours later, a beautiful, soft, woman arrives, smelling of jasmine and spice, and I must say, the happiest I've ever seen her, and can't keep my hands off her. All the arguements for the last 4 days at sea are forgotten, God is in heaven, all's well on earth,

The best thing about it, is that it's 1/4 the price as in the US or Canada (at least here in Mexico anyway). 

So, cruisers, here's my bit of advice. Most women really, deep down, don't like being at sea for days on end. They've done it for you, now it's time to do something for them. Makes further passages more bearable..

This post is being emailed to all youze girlfriends and wives.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

lol.... well, you can teach an old dog new tricks...


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## NautiG (Apr 23, 2007)

ianhlnd, my girlfriend emailed me a link to this post. I'm not kidding. I didn't even know she was checking out sailnet. I'll have to watch my ps & qs.

She did a week with me on the Indian River for Spring Break. Her first extended cruise. I think she liked it well enough. She says she's going to spend the month of June on the boat.

But please don't give her crazy ideas about spas. If she wants to sail to Mexico with me where spas are a quarter the price, fine. But I'm on a cruiser's budget.

Pic of her sailing the boat:










Scott
Gemini Catamaran Split Decision
Captain's Blog


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## buckeyesailor (Mar 9, 2008)

I'm just naturally suspicious.....

so, what's the odds of the better half commandeering Ianhlds Sailnet and posting this?

Naturally he'll have to take her to save face......sneaky....very sneaky.

of course, if I'm wrong......then I apologize profusely.....


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

Threads like this make me realize my good fortune in the spouse department: my answer was "offer to paint the bilges and let her handle the deck this time".


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## sck5 (Aug 20, 2007)

My wife will do ANYTHING I ask after a day at a spa. Ian is 1000% right about this. I personally dont want people running their hands all over me unless it is going to get to the goal line so to speak. But my wife loves it and as they say, happy wives .......


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

I nominate Ian as the AFOC ladies man!


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

I'm not claiming any mental superiority but I figured this out a while ago. You old sailing salts have a ways to go to get up to modern days.
I joined a vacation club with 15 places (and growing) from Cancun to the Bahama's and the entire Windward island chain as part of it. 
When the time comes we can bump anchor and sail from one all inclusive week of paradise to the next, season after season for the next 20 years and it's already paid for.
Best part is I get to hang out on the beach, bar and banquet with her and pretend I'm doing it for her ('cus God know's I"d rather be on the boat than surrounded by free booze and topless women). 

If you'd like lessons, pm me


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## artbyjody (Jan 4, 2008)

camaraderie said:


> I nominate Ian as the AFOC ladies man!


Cam I think it is more like this:


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

First Mates, like the rest of the crew, sign articles at the beginning of the voyage, usually not to exceed one year. What's all this malarkey about keeping them happy? Put 'em off in the next port and hire another one. In any event, I hardly think spa treatments are mandated under the Jones Act definition of maintenance and cure. (g)


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

For all the PM's - Viva Wyndham Resorts - Welcome to Viva Wyndham Resorts Homepage
Viva Wyndham. We bought enough points for two to three weeks a year at any of resorts. They are partners with several other 'time share' vacation clubs as well. We can trade points for anything from cruise ship's to airline tickets to all inclusive resorts.
Our thought was this would allow us to drop hook (for example) at Isla Mujeres and then relax at Viva Maya (Playa del Carmen - or, while hanging out in the Bahama's do the same there (Port Luc) etc..
If needed and short cash while cruising we can trade points for airline tickets - you folks are smart, you get the picture.


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## buckeyesailor (Mar 9, 2008)

Thanks Chuck,

I did the math......it seems like a bargain.....


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

NautiG said:


> She did a week with me on the Indian River for *Spring Break*. Her first extended cruise.


How'd you find your girlfriend NautiG, by stalking her high school's parking lot?


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

sailaway21 said:


> First Mates, like the rest of the crew, sign articles at the beginning of the voyage, usually not to exceed one year. What's all this malarkey about keeping them happy? Put 'em off in the next port and hire another one. In any event, I hardly think spa treatments are mandated under the Jones Act definition of maintenance and cure. (g)


Sway, I do like it when you show your softer side. Your a Man among Men!


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## artbyjody (Jan 4, 2008)

TrueBlue said:


> How'd you find your girlfriend NautiG, by stalking her high school's parking lot?


Actually why is she straddling a diehard?


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## NautiG (Apr 23, 2007)

TrueBlue said:


> How'd you find your girlfriend NautiG, by stalking her high school's parking lot?


Actually, I was stalking a college parking lot. Somehow I ended up with one of the professors, instead of a student.

And now she's talking about spending most of summer vacation on the boat with me. Uh-oh.

Scott
Gemini Catamaran Split Decision
Captain's Blog


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Posted from somewhere off the coast of Mexico. It's on the left side, so I guess I'm going south.

Well, S'way, not exactly true, *"First Mates, like the rest of the crew, sign articles at the beginning of the voyage, usually not to exceed one year". *Acutally, under some freakin law, like admiralty or one of those, a crew member who wants to and can, upon departing ship, is to be provided passage to home port by the captain of the boat from which they're departing, unless otherwise stipulated in the crew agreement contract.

This particular crew member has flown back to the states twice in the last 5 months, replacements have flown in and thankfully, planes weren't late, and paths weren't crossed.

But, y'know they deserve it! Not only for putting up with us, but for all the work they do on the boat (hmmmm). I think we don't appreciate 'em enough.

SD: *lol.... well, you can teach an old dog new tricks...   *This old dog got tricks you never heard of.

Thanks Cam, *"De ladies man" *but seriously, have you ever snuggled next to your wife or girlfriend after an algae wrap and massage. Here's my wallet, go do it again.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

But NautiG, does it take that much battery, I got a couple that only take AA's ):


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## Stillraining (Jan 11, 2008)

Ian...Some of us have been keep tabs on beez'ers progress...would be fun to here from you occasionally also if you didnt mind..I have a little better knowledge of the pacific coast not much though..


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

ianhlnd said:


> have you ever snuggled next to your wife or girlfriend after an algae wrap and massage.


I dont know how my bro does it but he snuggles with both at the same time.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Stillraining:


> Ian...Some of us have been keep tabs on beez'ers progress...would be fun to here from you occasionally also


Well, the problem is, I usually don't know where I'm going. Right now, I'm off the coast and logged into an unsecure wifi, don't know how long it will last, I'm heading south, but I want to go north into the Sea of Cortez. Wind and seas and all that. I'm hoping for a pineapple express to bust me around and push me north. May have to turn on the motor before I get too much south'in.

But good idea for the west coast sailors, may post something about the west coast of Baja, and what to expect on the way down.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Ian... *"snuggled next to your wife or girlfriend after an algae wrap"*

I don't like sushi!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

> I don't like sushi!


Cam, you should know, sushi doesn't smell like fish Nor does . . .


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Cam-

You ignorant white man... sushi is japanese for "vinegared rice"..and many forms have nothing to do with either seaweed or raw fish...which is technically sashimi.


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## Boasun (Feb 10, 2007)

Now I know why I don't have a 1st Mate


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

i have a mate but she's not the first. uhmm...whats the topic again?


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

I may be ignorant ...but I ain't biting into ANYTHING wrapped in seaweed! Roll it in flour and drop it in oil if you want my attention!!


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

I see your cardiologist is looking to put his kids through college on your dime. 


camaraderie said:


> I may be ignorant ...but I ain't biting into ANYTHING wrapped in seaweed! Roll it in flour and drop it in oil if you want my attention!!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Cam:


> but I ain't biting into ANYTHING wrapped in seaweed


The next time you bite into an ice cream, you're eating "seaweed", also, Jello, some gravy mixes and about 1,000 other things have boiled seaweed (agar-agar) as an ingredient.

Nothing like a couple of kelp leaves sun dried on the bow til crunchy, finely chopped and sprinkled over breakfast eggs.

I made fun of the algae wraps too, til I tasted the results.


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