# Cruising not as friendly



## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

Been full time cruising now 5 years. It doesn't seem as friendly as before between boats. Used to be there was normally someone putting together sundowners, a beach get together, cards games, etc. Now seems hard to get people to come drink your alcohol, for free.

Anyone else noticed a change?


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

I think people who are out cruising and living on the hook... tend to be more "community" oriented. Weekend users probably are less "chatty" with the neighbors... I could be wrong. Neighbors on the dock I am at seem friendly but are there to for a purpose and it isn't to hang out with the neighbors. Very friendly... but not more than that.


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

I've not been able to get to my boat since the pandemic began, but it seems to me the answer is likely just that: _the pandemic_. People all over have been told and trained to limit contacts with others.


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## tempest (Feb 12, 2007)

Buy Better Booze? ;-) 

I'm guessing pandemic, as well.


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## jdege (Sep 19, 2020)

Don L said:


> Anyone else noticed a change?


As a general rule, I've found that when everyone I meet seems to start treating me differently, it's more likely that I've changed than that they have.


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## Izzy (Feb 14, 2016)

We haven’t noticed any difference, but as with anything, having an outwardly positive attitude and body language makes a big difference in how others perceive one in social encounters.

Brooding on the internet is not a positive indicator; alcohol added into the mix makes matters worse. Why would someone who's happy and content with a positive attitude want to hang around with someone who's unhappy with a negative disposition?


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

as an example 

I have given out 6 or so boat cards the past week

we don't remember the last time anyone gave us theirs and it is hard to believe how few even have one now a days

how/when did that change


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## SweetOldBoat97 (Aug 24, 2021)

Being completely new at sailing this year I have no past experience.....But I was shocked after taking ownership, and coming from inland lake powerboating, spending the last couple of months at the marina 3 or 4 days a week at how friendly and helpful all of the people around were....


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## Zanshin (Aug 27, 2006)

Here in the Caribbean the cruisers are even closer-knit than before COVID-19, in my experience. In many places the watering holes are still closed or have limited hours and are full of the unvaccinated hoi-polloi  while the cruisers tend to be vaccinated so that they can travel --- your boat neighbors are often the only personal contact you get!


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## colemj (Jul 10, 2003)

Youtube videos don't make themselves - who has time for visits?

Try wearing some pants 

Mark


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

We have neighbors who are very friendly and we talk, from a bit of a distance, whenever we see them. But they're still not good with getting together. Others are. It's clearly pandemic related. 

Ironically, I find that marinas are less social than anchorages or mooring fields. Perhaps at marinas, the transients are outsiders and the locals are closer. That's probably true at my home marina. In most anchorages, the dominant boater is the transient and all are on more equal footing.

On our summer cruise, we met no one in the two marinas we stayed at. When at anchor, in the Basin, in Maine, there was a cruising club on a flotilla. They were having a sundowner get together, which was BYOB and just a big dingy raft up around one of their participant boats. We were only one of a few boats in there that was not affiliated and they came over to invite us to join.


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## Jolly Roger (Oct 11, 2013)

For me it’s definitely the pandemic. I don’t even go up to the marina pool and hot tub any more, because it’s open to people in the vacation apartments as well, coming from all over the place. Some boat owners are also anti-vac, after all we are in whacky Florida—for the moment anyway.


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## 4arch (Jul 7, 2009)

It's the pandemic for me too but not so much because I fear getting Covid from responsible socializing than because I fear having to listen to people talk about Covid, restrictions, treatments, masks, vaccines, pandemic politics, etc. It's an unavoidable topic of conversation these days yet if you put any two people in the same room chances are there's something pandemic-related they'll stridently disagree about. My boat is a place to get away from all that.


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

colemj said:


> Try wearing some pants
> 
> Mark


will try to remember that, it didn't occur to me I needed to get dressed up to do sundowner invites


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## joethecobbler (Apr 10, 2007)

Hmm, I find it's situational and geographic, as well as cultural perception.
I think I'm an introvert that compensates for awkward situations by being overly talkative and engaging, at least that's what a few. I've encountered in my wanderings have shared with me.
As such, each " New" location/ anchorage is different. Some very friendly and welcoming and others contemptuous and intimidating.
I've also noticed, if I return to a previous location after a year or two ,where I previously had a favorable time and met interesting people, upon return, had a completely opposite experience!
And vise versa.
Just like encounters ashore and in other areas of life.
Which is why traveling under sail appeals to me.
When the " fun" stops , it's time to hoist anchor and find the next memory and interesting places/people.
And often enjoy being the only vessel at anchor in peaceful solitude.


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## eherlihy (Jan 2, 2007)

For me the pandemic has been a major factor in my socializing. That, and the political boat parades of 2020 made me leery of many other boaters - why some people decided to let their personal politics preclude the probability of getting along with other boaters is beyond me. I still socialize with the folks in my mooring field, and look forward to meeting members of the club that I belonged to. I expect that my socialization may increase in 2022, if we can put the pandemic and nonsense behind us.


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

I've been wondering about how all this social distancing has affected extroverts vs introverts. As a member of the latter group, I really don't feel overly-impacted from a social perspective. I have my close set of family and friends, which I've continued to see. Sometimes we have to take extra precautions (masks, meeting outside), but it really hasn't been a big deal.

My theory is that this has affected the extroverts far more than the introverts.


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## Keyframe42 (Aug 24, 2020)

Honestly, i started sailing post pandemic, but yes it seems like everywhere is like that now. So I have no useful opinion on cruisers or cruising. I can say that right now, if you are in the US between the pandemic and the cultural/political situation right now, it is a **** show, plain and simple. With the pandemic and isolation i wonder if people remember how to be social, and if you follow the news, FB and the other major "social networks" have been using algorithms that reward the creation of insecurity, outrage, and anger in their users because it turned into engagement and profit. So the only social outlets people have had, has basically radicalized us and turned us into rage junkies.( anger is actually addictive ). While this outlet has been kept relatively clear of this nonsense/horror. I feel like talking to people in real life creates 

While I never considered myself "extroverted" I low key hate people, when a group of people get together they eventually do something stupid. I like persons, I would talk to anyone about what they are passionate about or their work or family. You know the things us humans do. Right now, I am a little scared to talk to anyone because it feels like it could explode into violent disagreement. I also think i might not be the only one, the few times I have been able to interact with people it has been tentative, maybe none of us remember how to be real people in real life anymore. It may take time.

However, all that being said, even not being a people person, I feel for you. I miss people. I miss drinking and laughing. I miss the world the way it was, and again, this might just be the US, so maybe try Mexico or Canada?


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## boatpoker (Jul 21, 2008)

MikeOReilly said:


> I've been wondering about how all this social distancing has affected extroverts vs introverts. As a member of the latter group, I really don't feel overly-impacted from a social perspective. I have my close set of family and friends, which I've continued to see. Sometimes we have to take extra precautions (masks, meeting outside), but it really hasn't been a big deal.
> 
> My theory is that this has affected the extroverts far more than the introverts.


I agree. Sharon and I have always routinley gone for weeks (or more) at a time with no outside company. We do enjoy meeting new people but 1/2hr conversation is about our limit. We are quite happy with just the two of us.


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## tempest (Feb 12, 2007)

IDK, life is pretty "normal" where I am. Except for a few months last year- March to May 2020, I've been working two part-time jobs. 1 teaching in a corporate classroom at least twice a week, the other driving a launch. ( both involving lots of people ) Played in an annual golf outing earlier this month, went to Fla. last year for the Holidays. Went to an outdoor concert..(under a big tent) Made a bi- annual boat delivery , I'm actually looking forward to being unemployed/retired again after next week, So I can get a break from people ;-) The work never stops though, it's leaf raking time and Winterization for the boat. As far as cruiser's are concerned, I see a lot of them pass through, many of them meet up at the dock and go out to Dinner etc. together, and end up buddy boating south. ( or North in the summer) 
Around The Marinas that I frequent, there's no signs of a pandemic. Not sure if that's good or bad, but that's what it is.


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## colemj (Jul 10, 2003)

Keyframe42 said:


> when a group of people get together they eventually do something stupid.


I've never had any problem getting there by myself...

Mark


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## Izzy (Feb 14, 2016)

The pandemic never slowed us down; we worked in hospitals throughout the worst 18 months of it and enjoyed the off-work time cruising and socializing locally and abroad without worry or concern. Yes covid comes up on a regular basis during conversations, but we don’t mind trying to ease other peoples concerns as they usually have honest questions knowing that both of us had previously contracted the disease and subsequently had both vaccinations.

Positive pleasant social people attract other positive, pleasant social people. Negativity attracts negativity.


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## Interlude (Jun 16, 2016)

boatpoker said:


> I agree. Sharon and I have always routinley gone for weeks (or more) at a time with no outside company. We do enjoy meeting new people but 1/2hr conversation is about our limit. We are quite happy with just the two of us.


We are not full time anything except being together. We enjoy the solitude on our boat, our small farm, or our mountains. The past year and a half certainly has turned all of our worlds upside down but honestly our lifestyle has looked much the same. We don't watch TV, nor surf the internet (do like my Sailnet!) thus are always a little surprised when we hear about 'stuff' happening. We do love a good fire, sunrises and sets, storms, night skies, the sound of wind and waves or leaves rustling, enjoy music (we play instruments), love to observe the animals we share our world with, digging in the dirt for gardens and generally being outside as much as possible. Sailing is soon giving way to our winter water sports of skiing and boarding. None of the above things we love require anyone else's permission or participation to do. We do enjoy the company of others but seek solitude away from the distraction of the media portrayed world. As we near 70 years alive we are grateful for the ives we have carved for the past 42 years simply 'cruising life' together, whether life's beam reaches, beating close hauled or running before storms. 

We have not met, but we know there are many kindred spirits here, and for that we are grateful as well.


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## hpeer (May 14, 2005)

My GUESS is that there has been an uptick in suspicion throughout humanity. People are getting the idea that things are not going swimmingly great for Western Culture, not that there are clear and present dangers but that there is a creeping sense of impending doom.

Our reaction to Corona is indicative of this ill sense. We do NOT feel robust, like we can withstand a challenge. I expand this to explaining a lot about how so many are claiming or associating some kind of special privilege status. Easy for me, I am in the Older than Dirt crowd. LOL.

Just read yesterday that there is a new drug which is great at reducing Covid symptoms. It is an anti-depressive. Past studies have shown a link between depression and inflammation with Ibuprofen being used as an anti-depresent. It is a chicken/egg question, no one knows which comes first or if that is consistent, just they are mutually supportive. So maybe I am onto something.









Cheap, generic anti-depressant may reduce severe Covid-19 disease, study finds | CNN


A cheap, generically available anti-depressant may reduce the risk of severe Covid-19 disease by close to a third in people at high risk, researchers reported Wednesday.




www.cnn.com





Forget the Great Reset, or the Great General Strike.

The *Great Ennui* is upon us.
The *Great Ennui* is upon us.


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

hpeer said:


> My GUESS is that there has been an uptick in suspicion throughout humanity. People are getting the idea that things are not going swimmingly great for Western Culture, not that there are clear and present dangers but that there is a creeping sense of impending doom.


Hmmm, I think this sense of a diminishing West has been in the air for decades. And it is... in the sense of grand historic ebbs and flows of power centres. 



hpeer said:


> Our reaction to Corona is indicative of this ill sense. We do NOT feel robust, like we can withstand a challenge. I expand this to explaining a lot about how so many are claiming or associating some kind of special privilege status. Easy for me, I am in the Older than Dirt crowd. LOL.


I see things nearly completely opposite. Despite the personal cost to me, I see our global reaction to Covid-19 as a testament to the strength of human will and ingenuity. Despite the ample examples of local and regional failures (some that continue), globally speaking we've never mounted such a successful response to a pandemic. I think this demonstrates our incredible robustness.


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## boatpoker (Jul 21, 2008)

MikeOReilly said:


> Hmmm, I think this sense of a diminishing West has been in the air for decades. And it is... in the sense of grand historic ebbs and flows of power centres.
> 
> 
> 
> I see things nearly completely opposite. Despite the personal cost to me, I see our global reaction to Covid-19 as a testament to the strength of human will and ingenuity. Despite the ample examples of local and regional failures (some that continue), globally speaking we've never mounted such a successful response to a pandemic. I think this demonstrates our incredible robustness.


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

The socialability discussion requires context.

Covid out the kabosh on all social interactions with just cause. You could die from hanging out!
Socializing is different for different ages groups. Generization: younger are more "social" than older

Hanging out often involves drinking... anything from coffee to shots... People who don't drink booze are not full on participants. EQ. My sailing live aboard friend Roger in English Harbor with go to Copper & Lumber each night at 4 or 5 for some "tots" of rum and smooze with whomever. He did this religiously. I went only a few times and had a burger beer and went back to the boat. Who knows when Roger left . People do love to loosen up when they socialize.. Makes sense. That's what people do. Not gonna change.

I have never hung in bars... only went there to have a quickie meal. I still do if the food is good. Main Street in NPT is a bar with good food!

Being on a mooring or on an anchor is less conducive to socializing and actual interaction. So if you want to socialize you head to a bar or a yacht club.


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

gee, I was just talking as among cruisers not the world

I am currently in Marathon Fl. There are normally activities going on here, like games etc., but none are happening. Maybe it is too early for the game players to get here, but I have been here this time of year before and it was in full swing. Hard to blame covid as it appears people are going to bars/happy hour as normal.


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## Klazien1711 (Feb 26, 2021)

Don L said:


> Been full time cruising now 5 years. It doesn't seem as friendly as before between boats. Used to be there was normally someone putting together sundowners, a beach get together, cards games, etc. Now seems hard to get people to come drink your alcohol, for free.
> 
> Anyone else noticed a change?


Our experience is that getting into contact with people from our own country seems to be more easily then getting into contact with people from other countries. But in general getting people on board, or going on board of other yachts, even with themis less done.


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## kdeemer (Aug 5, 2021)

Klazien1711 said:


> Our experience is that getting into contact with people from our own country seems to be more easily then getting into contact with people from other countries. But in general getting people on board, or going on board of other yachts, even with themis less done.





Don L said:


> Been full time cruising now 5 years. It doesn't seem as friendly as before between boats. Used to be there was normally someone putting together sundowners, a beach get together, cards games, etc. Now seems hard to get people to come drink your alcohol, for free.
> 
> Anyone else noticed a change?


where’s your boat? I’ll be there!


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## Klazien1711 (Feb 26, 2021)

kdeemer said:


> where’s your boat? I’ll be there!


Italy, Aprilia Marittima, but in wintersleep now :-(, next year you are welcome! We will be sailing in Croatia!


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

kdeemer said:


> where’s your boat? I’ll be there!


 Marathon Fl currently


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

I asked a few cruisers here the topic and they also feel the community isnt as friendy and close knit as before.

I think maybe the expansion of internet and associated toys might be the reason. In past cruisers got together because that was the entertainment available. But now we have forums etc.


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## Izzy (Feb 14, 2016)

It’s not the internet.


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## Klazien1711 (Feb 26, 2021)

Don L said:


> I asked a few cruisers here the topic and they also feel the community isnt as friendy and close knit as before.
> 
> I think maybe the expansion of internet and associated toys might be the reason. In past cruisers got together because that was the entertainment available. But now we have forums etc.


I don't think it's the internet. What may be is that people in general are more afraid of strangers due to Corona. They want to stay on their own and feel save.


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

Klazien1711 said:


> I don't think it's the internet. What may be is that people in general are more afraid of strangers due to Corona. They want to stay on their own and feel save.


Exactly ... said this pages ago. Seems pretty obvious. The interesting question is, will things return to pre-Covid normal once we emerge out of this pandemic? Or perhaps the question is, how long will it take?


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## Klazien1711 (Feb 26, 2021)

MikeOReilly said:


> Exactly ... said this pages ago. Seems pretty obvious. The interesting question is, will things return to pre-Covid normal once we emerge out of this pandemic? Or perhaps the question is, how long will it take?


I also think it makes a differences between charter crews (which are mostly a group of friends sailing together for 1-2 weeks) or boat owners. Charter crews want more to be by themselves, while owners, who are longer on board, may have more needs for social interactions?


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

I don't feel it is covid. The cruisers here have no issue all collecting at the bar


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

Don L said:


> I don't feel it is covid. The cruisers here have no issue all collecting at the bar


My guess is that it relates to the type of sailing people are doing. Racing seems to be a social activity. Day sailing now so. Mini local cruising is not very social. People sail to a destination, anchor or dock... go ashore for dinner or have it on board. Sure some will, for example sail to Newport and hang out at the bars on the wharf such as the Black Pearl of the Cooke House... We go to them for a meal. We don't sail to "socialize" but to have time alone together on the water.
When I was cruising in the Eastern Caribe...there did seem to be more "camaraderie"... but that was decades ago and times have changed. I was much younger then. Who knows?


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

Klazien1711 said:


> I also think it makes a differences between charter crews (which are mostly a group of friends sailing together for 1-2 weeks) or boat owners. Charter crews want more to be by themselves, while owners, who are longer on board, may have more needs for social interactions?


Yes, probably true. I've rarely cruised in areas where there are many (usually any) charter boats. I'm sure that would change the dynamic. But this wouldn't be a change ... unless charter boaters have really increased in number. Is that the case?


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## Izzy (Feb 14, 2016)

In some cases, the problem might be the person looking back in the mirror.


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

Maybe. For example I doubt i would ever invite you over.


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## jdege (Sep 19, 2020)

MikeOReilly said:


> The interesting question is, will things return to pre-Covid normal once we emerge out of this pandemic? Or perhaps the question is, how long will it take?


The truth is that there isn't and never has been any "normal".

The world changes.


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

jdege said:


> The truth is that there isn't and never has been any "normal".
> 
> The world changes.


The more things change, the more things stay the same.


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## Dr. Ian (Nov 11, 2021)

SanderO said:


> I think people who are out cruising and living on the hook... tend to be more "community" oriented. Weekend users probably are less "chatty" with the neighbors... I could be wrong. Neighbors on the dock I am at seem friendly but are there to for a purpose and it isn't to hang out with the neighbors. Very friendly... but not more than that.





Don L said:


> Been full time cruising now 5 years. It doesn't seem as friendly as before between boats. Used to be there was normally someone putting together sundowners, a beach get together, cards games, etc. Now seems hard to get people to come drink your alcohol, for free.
> 
> Anyone else noticed a change?


I cannot comment on the friendliness of boating life but what you observe is behaviour across the board on land, sea, or air. My observation is that it is a societal malaise driven by any number of factors, pandemics notwithstanding.


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## Dr. Ian (Nov 11, 2021)

Dr. Ian said:


> I cannot comment on the friendliness of boating life but what you observe is behaviour across the board on land, sea, or air. My observation is that it is a societal malaise driven by any number of factors, pandemics notwithstanding.


It also rests on how you mention friendliness. There is civility which seems to be rare and there is friendly.


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

I think sailors have a lot of innate camaraderie... I think they are more chatty than they are loners.


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## Dr. Ian (Nov 11, 2021)

I recall my father, a sailor RN, would chat with anyone and within 10 minutes anywhere would have friends. Maybe it has something to do with confined quarters in vast open spaces.


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## MarkofSeaLife (Nov 7, 2010)

A few weeks ago we were marooned in Lockdown on Sandy Island, Carriacou. 
Beach curfew meant we could be on the beach only between 7am-11am.
Wuth only 10 boats there it didn't take long to meet everyone except the couple who just refused to say good morning but just walked past with glassy eyed smiles. 

Buzzare! Rude! Arrogant! 

One day I told Marjorie I would force them to say hello and be HAPPY. 
(her eyes rolled 🙄 because she knew I would do it). A few minutes later I had them trapped at the end of the beach where it narrows and I could cut off any escape attempt. 

<Blocking their way>
<me with big smile>
"Hello, good morning, I'm Mark from Sea Life, that boat right there. Which is your boat?" 

They had to answer unless they were gunna jump in and swim away. 
Turns out they'd just arrived from the long passage from Cape Town, South Africa and were very nervous about people because they didn't know anyone and felt we all knew each other. 

So now we're great friends! And have parked along side them in a few other bays. Etc. 

Moral of the story is: Not everyone is unfriendly... You just haven't trapped them yet 😂😂😂


Mark 😊 😊 😊


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## Dr. Ian (Nov 11, 2021)

MarkofSeaLife said:


> A few weeks ago we were marooned in Lockdown on Sandy Island, Carriacou.
> Beach curfew meant we could be on the beach only between 7am-11am.
> Wuth only 10 boats there it didn't take long to meet everyone except the couple who just refused to say good morning but just walked past with glassy eyed smiles.
> 
> ...


Occasionally, cultural characteristics can explain a lot. I wouldn't try borrowing a penny from a Yorkshireman.


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

I took a lot of the stuff written on the thread in consideration at the start. I still believe cruisers aren't being as friendy and social as just a few years ago. And 5 years ago it didnt seen anywhere as friendy as stories i had read over and over.


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## Dr. Ian (Nov 11, 2021)

Again, as with most eras, we have been creeping to this point for a long time.


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## midwesterner (Dec 14, 2015)

jdege said:


> As a general rule, I've found that when everyone I meet seems to start treating me differently, it's more likely that I've changed than that they have.


I know that;s true.I'm not as pretty as I used to be.

I am in my first year of owning my nused boat on the Chesapeake. I joined a boat specific club there and everyone is nice, but they suspended all in-person get-to-gethers last summer. This summer they had outdoor events and asked that only vaccinated members attend. I'm looking forward to next summer.


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## Izzy (Feb 14, 2016)

I don’t know where the rest of you have been hanging around for the past couple of years, but like Mark, my wife and I haven’t noticed any difference in getting to know and socialize with new people in the boating community. Maybe it’s primarily a North American marina/yacht club/bar issue, because we haven’t experienced any unfriendliness in the Mediterranean or the Caribbean.


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

I honestly can't recall anyone ever declining an offer to come over for a visit, sundowners, etc. I think that was the premise of this thread.

Of course, during the height of Covid, no one was inviting anyone to do anything.


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## Klazien1711 (Feb 26, 2021)

MikeOReilly said:


> Yes, probably true. I've rarely cruised in areas where there are many (usually any) charter boats. I'm sure that would change the dynamic. But this wouldn't be a change ... unless charter boaters have really increased in number. Is that the case?


In de mediteranean area (Croatia, Greece, Italy) charter boaters have increased immensly since the covid pandemic, making certain areas completely overcrowded during the summer season. Overcrowed with many incompetent noicy and boozed sailors.... using a sail yacht mostly under engine...


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

Alcohol abuse is way to common.


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## MarkofSeaLife (Nov 7, 2010)

We often meet people who are chartering. In the Caribbean its pretty common LOL.

Most have boats at home but want a sunny escape for a week or two.

Very few are bad sailors, often its just that the boat is unfamiliar, different type, conditions here are different from home, here need to anchor, grab mooring balls which doesn't happen at home, unfamiler with the area, stinking hot instead of -20 degrees, etc etc.
Often they have a different crew here... at home they may have a racing crew of people who are very comfortable with the boat on its ear in 20 knots on the bay at home... but they bring their spouse and kids here and its _always_ 20 knots plus waves and while the racer is having the time of their life, the family thinks Armageddon is just hitting.

We give charterers plenty of space, but also plenty of advice.

A few weeks ago in Columbier, St Barts charterers came in, missed the mooring ball, backed down instead of going around, and flipped their dinghy under their stern.
I zapped over to help taking my outboard tool kit. We flipped the dinghy, towed them to the beach, did first aid to the outboard, got it started, shoved them off back to their boat.
Its all part of being a cruiser: helping other people. No thanks required. Some other time it will be me in Deep Do-Do.


Mark


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

did they invite you later for a sundowner????


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## boatpoker (Jul 21, 2008)

Sharon and I are quite content in our own company. We are not averse to sharing a beer on the beach with others but have no need of constant socialization. We often (very) go for weeks and a couple of times, months without contact with others. We enjoy the company of others once in a while but a 1/2hr. is about our limit.


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## SanderO (Jul 12, 2007)

We sail for calm, peace, nature, to get away from dirt and crazy, rude, inconsiderate noisy people... cars and motorcycles.


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## MarkofSeaLife (Nov 7, 2010)

boatpoker said:


> We enjoy the company of others once in a while but a 1/2hr. is about our limit.


Great. When we visit we only have to bring 1 beer. 

😊 

😂😂😂

🍺


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## zeehag (Nov 16, 2008)

i have noticed it is the individual complaining of no friendliness who is the not friendly person. there are so many things on which to blame ones inability to be friendly. rule those out--itis easy to blame others and to blame situations.. pandemic be damned..it didnt stop anyone here from being cool and enjoying living. 
go out make friends--yes even if you are a die hard introvert this can be done without your own death. 
we each get out of our experiences that which we put into the effort. some folks complain a lot, some dig in and do it. i prefer the dig in and do its over the whining complainers--attitude is so much more positive.


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## jdege (Sep 19, 2020)

zeehag said:


> i have noticed it is the individual complaining of no friendliness who is the not friendly person.


I can't speak for everyone, but I'm hardly a friendly person.

It's been my life goal to grow up to be a curmudgeon, and I'm halfway there.

But most of the people I meet seem to be friendly enough.


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

zeehag said:


> i have noticed it is the individual complaining of no friendliness who is the not friendly person.


And since I started this thread I guess that means me.

But I feel you would 100% wrong as I am the one driving around the mooring and anchorage introducing myself and giving out cards, doing invites for boat sundowners, getting group activities together like cards etc.


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## MarkofSeaLife (Nov 7, 2010)

jdege said:


> I can't speak for everyone, but I'm hardly a friendly person.
> 
> It's been my life goal to grow up to be a curmudgeon, and I'm halfway there.
> 
> But most of the people I meet seem to be friendly enough.


I think you wrote your lines in jest, so this isn't directed at you 😊😊😊

Curmudgeonlyness is an affectation put on like an actor puts on a character.
It's a very dangerous affectation because an actor can drop the characterisation after the show with no effect (except those like Heath Ledger) but non-actors keeping it on can have serious, permanent, debilitating, effects. And not just debilitating to themselves but to their loved ones around them. Especially their spouses.

In other words, old men think it's funny to be a grumpy old man so they do it... Until they are grumpy old men that everyone hates.

I think you wrote your lines in jest, but for others, here's a trick they can try for 2 weeks and see how it goes: pretend to be young and fun, full of energy, and pretend to really love meeting new people (especially younger ones), and pretend to find what everyone else says or does to be marvellous.

AAfter 2 weeks the person won't be a curmudgeon any more because of the greater positive response he receives. The physical health outcome will be noticeable.

Mark 😊


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## tempest (Feb 12, 2007)

Don L said:


> And since I started this thread I guess that means me.
> 
> But I feel you would 100% wrong as I am the one driving around the mooring and anchorage introducing myself and giving out cards, doing invites for boat sundowners, getting group activities together like cards etc.


It would probably help if you wore clothes while driving around


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

tempest said:


> It would probably help if you wore clothes while driving around


Explain


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## colemj (Jul 10, 2003)

Don L said:


> Explain


The stripping part is the teasing excitation tension. If you show up already naked, it ruins the anticipation.

Mark


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## Don L (Aug 8, 2008)

colemj said:


> The stripping part is the teasing excitation tension. If you show up already naked, it ruins the anticipation.
> 
> Mark



Got it. Need to wear my g-string and pasties when making the invites.

But that proves my point as 5 years ago naked was the way to do it.


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## jdege (Sep 19, 2020)

MarkofSeaLife said:


> I think you wrote your lines in jest, so this isn't directed at you 😊😊


In truth, I was only partly joking.

I'm a fairly retiring, self-sufficient sort. I'm a bit of an introvert, and rarely feel much of a desire for other people's company.

I try to be polite, and helpful when I can, but I'm never going to be the one who reaches out to organize social activities.

I'm the sort who avoids parties. I don't drink I despise loud music, and I'd much rather sit somewhere in the dark and have a quiet conversation than be in the center of things.


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