# Would a sailboat be a good place to be



## flyingwelshman

in case of a zombie attack?

Can zombies even swim?


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## Ulladh

Do we need a poll on what weapons to carry to fend off a zombie pirate attack?


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## afrinus

Well, depends if your crew becomes zombified....
Also, If the aforementioned concern is not an issue, I suggest a lake well stocked with hungry catfish.....


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## flyingwelshman

> Do we need a poll on what weapons to carry to fend off a zombie pirate attack?


Come on. Let's not let this thread descend into the dreaded 'armed and sailing' fantasy-filled quagmire.

Keep it real!!



afrinus said:


> Well, depends if your crew becomes zombified....
> Also, If the aforementioned concern is not an issue, I suggest a lake well stocked with hungry catfish.....


Unless the lake is filled with mutant zombie catfish!


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## tempest

You can tell it's winter!


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## Siamese

Weapons aren't needed to fend off a zombie. They won't go anywhere near a Rocna.


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## RobGallagher

Tempest said:


> You can tell it's winter!


Not sure if you are a troll or an internet know it all, but;

I can't find any scientific information that proves that Zombie attacks are more or less prevalent in winter.

Not sure where you get your information, but, I suggest you be more careful when posting _bogus_ Zombie info.

Peoples lives may depend on it!

Back to the subject at hand;

Zombies cannot swim.

Nor can they drown.

They simply walk under water to your anchor or mooring line and haul themselves up on deck.

Sharks and other large fast predatory fish are not afraid of Zombies and will feed on them.

The problem is that once in while the Zombies will get hold of a shark and bite or scratch the animal during the feeding frenzy...

Zombie Sharks are probably best left to another thread.


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## Donna_F

Admittedly, I know almost nothing about zombies except that they aren't living in the generally accepted definition of the term. But perhaps it's possible to round them up and train them to go after the Somali pirates? Why not use their unique skills to our advantage?

Perhaps each boat could have its own zombie security. I imagine there would be a few things to overcome in order to make it work, but why not?


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## Springline

I think a more basic question (as someone who is pretty well versed in Zombie Lore) is: depending on who's telling the story, the zombies can vary dramatically in effective intelligence, strength, and athleticism. So, the big question for flyingwelshman is: what kind of zombies are we dealing with here? For instance, if we were facing the standard Romero shamblers, I would be more than content to commandeer the lovely Shannon 60 at the marina I work at, and float in the middle of Narragansett Bay until it blew over (classic Romero zombies are pretty dumb, weak, can't swim, etc.)
If, however, we were dealing with the World War Z horrors, I'd think twice about being anywhere near land, and then you're talking about finding a vessel that can last for up to multiple months offshore (complete with extensive solar and wind plants, desalinization, etc.)
Overall, provided supplies can be restocked with a minimal hazard to life and limb, I don't see any reason why a sailboat wouldn't be a good place to take refuge. It certainly seems a better option than the office buildings/warehouses that seem to litter zombie movies.


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## flyingwelshman

Springline said:


> I think a more basic question (as someone who is pretty well versed in Zombie Lore) is: depending on who's telling the story, the zombies can vary dramatically in effective intelligence, strength, and athleticism. So, the big question for flyingwelshman is: what kind of zombies are we dealing with here? For instance, if we were facing the standard Romero shamblers, I would be more than content to commandeer the lovely Shannon 60 at the marina I work at, and float in the middle of Narragansett Bay until it blew over (classic Romero zombies are pretty dumb, weak, can't swim, etc.)
> If, however, we were dealing with the World War Z horrors, I'd think twice about being anywhere near land, and then you're talking about finding a vessel that can last for up to multiple months offshore (complete with extensive solar and wind plants, desalinization, etc.)
> Overall, provided supplies can be restocked with a minimal hazard to life and limb, I don't see any reason why a sailboat wouldn't be a good place to take refuge. It certainly seems a better option than the office buildings/warehouses that seem to litter zombie movies.


See? Now here is a thought-provoking answer.

So I guess we have to establish what caused the zombification. If it was some kind of vague industrial accident caused by socially irresponsible, corrupt and greedy business people then we would probably be pretty safe anchored just off-shore - then stealing into urban centres to scavenge our supplies from abandoned WalMarts etc.

If the mutations were brought about by some military top-secret weapons program gone awry, then we'd better prepare for extended offshore cruising and think about finding some un-affected island somewhere from which to repopulate the planet.

If the zombies are created by a malignant space spore then all bets are off.

I am still quite worried about these zombies climbing up my anchor rode though. Would a Chinese-made Rocna knock-off be as effective as an original one to stop the zombies from getting aboard?


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## MedSailor

flyingwelshman said:


> I am still quite worried about these zombies climbing up my anchor rode though. Would a Chinese-made Rocna knock-off be as effective as an original one to stop the zombies from getting aboard?


I wonder if they make these Rat-Guards in a larger size...








Rat-guards for dock lines - 30 -> 45 mm lines - Swi-Tec

A moot point really because compared to a Spade the Rocna would be constantly dragging at a rate faster than zombies could stumble after it.

Medsailor (hiding under his Nomex shield:hothead)


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## Squidd

flyingwelshman said:


> If the zombies are created by a malignant space spore then all bets are off.


This could be bad...



> ...we'd better prepare for extended offshore cruising and think about finding some un-affected island somewhere from which to repopulate the planet.


This on the other hand could be good...


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## sawingknots

two minutes of my life just went down the crapper,in the vast realm of the internet surely theres a better site to vent such stupidity


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## johnnyboats

i like the zombie security, you could fold one up and store it on deck like a liferaft. We're being boarded by pirates, quick everyone below deck, RELEASE THE ZOMBIE!!


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## flyingwelshman

sawingknots said:


> two minutes of my life just went down the crapper,in the vast realm of the internet surely theres a better site to vent such stupidity


Two minutes? slow reader!

Thanks for contributing to the thread though - now it's gonna take someone 2 1/2 minutes to read!

I guess we could go 90-odd posts posturing and doing penile comparisons about defunct sail-lofts.

Sorry for trying to insert a little light-heartedness into a site devoted to the oh-so serious art of sailing....

Give me a break!


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## flyingwelshman

johnnyboats said:


> i like the zombie security, you could fold one up and store it on deck like a liferaft. We're being boarded by pirates, quick everyone below deck, RELEASE THE ZOMBIE!!


I like it! Kinda like the trunk monkey idea.

But settle down: the curmudgeons are getting restless....


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## JedNeck

IDK...maybe sawingknots is a zombie overlord and he doesn't want us to come up with tactics against his people.


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## StormBay

This was in front of our marina a wile back, so...


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## Ulladh

How much railmeat would a zombie need, just planning for provisions for my zombie security force?


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## flyingwelshman

StormBay said:


> This was in front of our marina a wile back, so...


See what I'm talking about?


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## tempest

Zombies have an aversion to salt...so as long as you head south where the salt content of the ocean is higher...Haiti, perhaps...one should be safe


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## bgeddes

> Do we need a poll on what weapons to carry to fend off a zombie pirate attack?


Everybody knows what kind of guns you need for zombies. Just like everyone knows what anchor is best.


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## Squidd

This is my rifle, this is my gun...

One is for Zombies..the other for.....


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## bljones

I am safe from zombies. Everyone knows I am not the braaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnsssss of this or any other operation.


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## bljones

Tempest said:


> Zombies have an aversion to salt...so as long as you head south where the salt content of the ocean is higher...Haiti, perhaps...one should be safe


Haiti? Hello? Talk about zombie central! Haiti is the ancestral home of zombies.
Damn dude, you are now this thread's designated red shirt.


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## WanderingStar

DRFerron said:


> Admittedly, I know almost nothing about zombies except that they aren't living in the generally accepted definition of the term. But perhaps it's possible to round them up and train them to go after the Somali pirates? Why not use their unique skills to our advantage?
> 
> Perhaps each boat could have its own zombie security. I imagine there would be a few things to overcome in order to make it work, but why not?


Zombies can't be trained, I've tried. I worked in government for 28 years.


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## flyingwelshman

WanderingStar said:


> Zombies can't be trained, I've tried. I worked in government for 28 years.


Maybe we don't have to train them per se.

Perhaps we could launch them at the pirates using some kind of modified trebuchet-like device on our fore-decks? I've also seen big human/zombie-sized slingshot things. We could use those.


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## tempest

bljones said:


> Haiti? Hello? Talk about zombie central! Haiti is the ancestral home of zombies.
> Damn dude, you are now this thread's designated red shirt.


BJ...Hello.. It's called sarcasm...I guess I should use the icon for it..

I will however, accept my redshirt and die so that others may live long and prosper..


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## rbrasi

Zombies can too be trained. doesn't any one remember 'Bub'?


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## SecondWindNC

Just make sure you save the good records for onboard entertainment...


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## MarkSF

DRFerron said:


> Admittedly, I know almost nothing about zombies except that they aren't living in the generally accepted definition of the term. But perhaps it's possible to round them up and train them to go after the Somali pirates? Why not use their unique skills to our advantage?
> 
> Perhaps each boat could have its own zombie security. I imagine there would be a few things to overcome in order to make it work, but why not?


The military's attempts to train zombies to perform tasks ended, predictably, in disaster. See the 1985 movie, Day of the Dead.


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## vega1860

Ulladh said:


> Do we need a poll on what weapons to carry to fend off a zombie pirate attack?


Some people advocate for a 10 or 12 gage shotgun but my personal preference is an M79 with flechette rounds. A swivel gun loaded with grapeshot might do but the reload time could be fatal.


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## vega1860

MedSailor said:


> A moot point really because compared to a Spade the Rocna would be constantly dragging at a rate faster than zombies could stumble after it.
> 
> Medsailor (hiding under his Nomex shield:hothead)


Laura says "Rocnas don't drag"


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## vega1860

bljones said:


> Haiti? Hello? Talk about zombie central! Haiti is the ancestral home of zombies.
> Damn dude, you are now this thread's designated red shirt.


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## ftldiver

RobGallagher said:


> Zombie Sharks are probably best left to another thread.


to the rescue!


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## MedSailor

vega1860 said:


> Laura says "Rocnas don't drag"


Sweet! I got a bite! Figured the bait would be irresistible to someone. Of course I was really hoping to summon Craig Smith.

Hey, where is Smackdaddy? This thread seems right up his alley.

Medsailor


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## UncleJim

Olny one kind of weapon for zombies










I prefer the frenzy setting :gunner


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## sawingknots

i'm always amazed at how few resposes a serious question recieves,you know a real question that requires a knowledgeable and well considered answer[lucky if 2]but b/s like this gets legs and gos on and on,theres explaination for it,you figure it out


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## jzk

There is a great novel by Max Brooks called World War Z that contemplates this very issue. It is actually a very interesting topic because zombie warfare is different from any other that mankind has ever faced. Zombies are not afraid, do not rest, do not stop, and never show mercy. And, they used to be us. So when fighting them, some of our losses turn into zombies, and we are faced with the horrifying dilemma of whether or not to put them out of their misery before they turn into more enemy.

In World War Z, zombies could not swim, but they could walk the Ocean Floor. So droves of them would just show up on beaches and climb anchor lines. 

So, a sailboat would be a decent place if you accommodate the anchor line.


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## LandLocked66c

Guns are too noisy, just an oar and some conch shells is all you need aboard a boat - perhaps a crossbow as well. Once you dispatch your first "anchor rode climbing" zombie, simply tie him off and use him/her as the anchor. The others will walk past the dead zombie that is safely holding you securely. Now if you do drag through coral then you'll need another zombie, maybe a few!


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## LandLocked66c

You could also disguise your boat with zombie innards and sail happily through any instance. Even hang zombies from the life lines giving you a nice barrier from glare and spray!


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## emoney

Really the only defense we need against Zombies are to have them marry a Kardashian.
That way, their "15 minutes of fame" will literally last about 2 minutes and then they'll become
inconsequential.

Problem solved.


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## flyingwelshman

sawingknots said:


> i'm always amazed at how few resposes a serious question recieves,you know a real question that requires a knowledgeable and well considered answer[lucky if 2]but b/s like this gets legs and gos on and on,theres explaination for it,you figure it out


Here's my explanation:

I think this forum is like sitting in my cockpit. When I'm sailing sometimes I talk tactics, and other sailing stuff, sometimes I talk ****. The same mix of topics seems to exist on the board here. It would be a very tedious forum if the only topics were dry and serious. There is a lot of good stuff with guidance for new sailors, rigging questions, info on equipment, analysis of accidents etc. But sometimes, it's good to get a little whimsical.
The popularity of this thread seems to indicate that I am not alone in this opinion. Your disparagement of the topic is ironic and a little bit offensive to the others who feel that the thread is worthy of their contribution.

You absolutely have the option of not reading the thread. In fact in post #13 you indicated that you had wasted 2-minutes of your life reading the thread to that point. (Why you read after the first post as the thread was obviously about something in which you had little interest is beyond me). Then you come back in post #34 to malign other members choices of which topics they wish to make a contribution.

It seems to me that there are many that have made 'knowledgeable and well considered answer's in this thread - even citing academic sources and everything!

If you feel this is really a waste of time stop reading the posts. It's that simple.

I find irony in the fact that you feel that a debate about the very real risks involved in a zombie attack is of less interest to sailors than a discussion of the utterly fantastical notion that Cuba was involved in the Kennedy assasination - as evidenced by your contribution to the not-sailing-but totally-politically-focused thread entitled 'Cuba Changes'.

You waste your time your way, and I'll waste my time mine.

Thanks again for contributing to the popularity of this BS thread.


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## flyingwelshman

LandLocked66c said:


> You could also disguise your boat with zombie innards and sail happily through any instance. Even hang zombies from the life lines giving you a nice barrier from glare and spray!


Great idea!

I always thought that kittens would make great fenders as they would give a sound alarm if you hit too hard. Maybe zombies would be a better choice as they are bigger and don't need feeding.


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## LandLocked66c

flyingwelshman said:


> Great idea!
> 
> I always thought that kittens would make great fenders as they would give a sound alarm if you hit too hard. Maybe zombies would be a better choice as they are bigger and don't need feeding.


Once they are dead you would need a steady supply of zombie fenders depending on how rough the marina is. Just a little chafing and you've lost a leg, next torso and so on... It could prove to be a problem...

If in the doldrums, just throw a PFD around him and and throw him overboard, then using a "carrot" have him swim in the direction needed!


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## flyingwelshman

LandLocked66c said:


> If in the doldrums, just throw a PFD around him and and throw him overboard, then using a "carrot" have him swim in the direction needed!


We could use the kittens as the 'carrots'!


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## LandLocked66c

flyingwelshman said:


> We could use the kittens as the 'carrots'!


Genius!


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## LandLocked66c

Too bad you can't dry zombie meat! Zombie jerky sounds kinda good! You're gonna work up an appetite no doubt!


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## LandLocked66c

Could you drink the water from a zombies eyes? So many questions need answered!


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## flyingwelshman

LandLocked66c said:


> Too bad you can't dry zombie meat! Zombie jerky sounds kinda good! You're gonna work up an appetite no doubt!


If the zombie is 'fresh' this would probably work. Just hang thin strips from your shrouds. You would probably have to hang old CD's around the jerky as well - to keep the seagulls off.

I don't know what the yield would be on zombie ocular fluid. I would suggest a still be used to ensure the safety of the liquid. It worked for urine in Waterworld, so why not?


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## LandLocked66c

flyingwelshman said:


> If the zombie is 'fresh' this would probably work. Just hang thin strips from your shrouds. You would probably have to hang old CD's around the jerky as well - to keep the seagulls off.
> 
> I don't know what the yield would be on zombie ocular fluid. I would suggest a still be used to ensure the safety of the liquid. It worked for urine in Waterworld, so why not?


I'm thinking the zombie might be very game'y... So you would need a very potent marinade or perhaps smoked zombie would be better!!! You could always salt it and keep it in the bilge - zombie BACON!!!  That would ROCK!


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## LandLocked66c

To get my palate in shape for this adventure i'm going to smoke some carp and drink warm beer. The cheaper the beer the better i'd say. The older the carp and strictly eat the mud vein only!


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## LandLocked66c

It's just a matter of time folks!

U.S. asks journals to censor bird flu studies | Reuters


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## Squidd

flyingwelshman said:


> We could use the kittens as the 'carrots'!


Nahhh...Taste like chicken...


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## RobGallagher

LandLocked66c said:


> i'm going to smoke some carp and drink warm beer.


I find that they tend to stink up my humidor.


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## LandLocked66c

Great for your sinus's though!


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## bljones

LandLocked66c said:


> You could also disguise your boat with zombie innards and sail happily through any instance. Even hang zombies from the life lines giving you a nice barrier from glare and spray!


I don't care how bad things get, I am NOT going to pretend to be a Reaver.


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## LandLocked66c

bljones said:


> I don't care how bad things get, I am NOT going to pretend to be a Reaver.


I was wondering when someone would tie that in...


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## AdamLein

jzk said:


> There is a great novel by Max Brooks called World War Z that contemplates this very issue. It is actually a very interesting topic because zombie warfare is different from any other that mankind has ever faced. Zombies are not afraid, do not rest, do not stop, and never show mercy.


That's ridiculous. Armies have faced plenty of enemies that were just like that, to a close approximation.



> And, they used to be us. So when fighting them, some of our losses turn into zombies, and we are faced with the horrifying dilemma of whether or not to put them out of their misery before they turn into more enemy.


Yeah, we'd be faced with that decision just long enough for everybody who worries about that question to be weeded out of our army.



> In World War Z, zombies could not swim, but they could walk the Ocean Floor. So droves of them would just show up on beaches and climb anchor lines.


That's ridiculous, too. Humans are less dense than water, especially sea water, and only get less dense after death. Also have you ever tried walking on the ocean floor? Zombies would be worse than "shamblers" at this. And climbing up the anchor line is really not a concern. Everybody knows the best place to deal with zombies is at a bottleneck, which will bring me to my last point.

All of this talk about various guns to be used against zombies is, with all due respect, myopic at best. Facing zombies with guns the question you have to ask yourself is, "Will it jam before it runs out of bullets?"

Proper zombie defense preparation includes edged-weapon training. I presume all sailors will still keep a full-time watch, even at anchor, and nothing passes the time like hacking off the arms of zombies as they try to climb up your anchor rode.

Though I guess for full disclosure I should reveal that I'm a swordfighting instructor


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## LandLocked66c

AdamLein said:


> Proper zombie defense preparation includes edged-weapon training. I presume all sailors will still keep a full-time watch, even at anchor, and nothing passes the time like hacking off the arms of zombies as they try to climb up your anchor rode.
> 
> Though I guess for full disclosure I should reveal that I'm a swordfighting instructor


Exactly, guns attract too much attention! A sword or blunt object is all that's needed. I'm thinking a baseball bat with conch shells fixed to it... Bashing some zombies while Buffet is playing! Now that's paradise!


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## sawingknots

the more i think about it,i might be concerned too......if i lived in canada


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## CaptFoolhardy

AdamLein said:


> That's ridiculous, too. Humans are less dense than water, especially sea water, and only get less dense after death.


Uh.....Adam, we're talking about *zombies *here not *humans*. Zombies are WAY more dense than even sea water. _Everyone_ knows that! They are not _less_ dense because they are dead, they are *more* dense because they are _un-dead_.

Bob (who just discovered the *B* *I* and *U* controls)


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## CaptFoolhardy

sawingknots said:


> i'm always amazed at how few resposes a serious question recieves,you know a real question that requires a knowledgeable and well considered answer[lucky if 2]but b/s like this gets legs and gos on and on,theres explaination for it,you figure it out


That's easy! A knowledgeable and well considered answer requires knowledge and consideration. Anyone can shovel BS. Plus it's fun. Don't play if it's not fun for you.


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## bljones

LandLocked66c said:


> Bashing some zombies while Buffet is playing! Now that's paradise!


Buffet fans ARE zombies...aren't they?


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## sawingknots

i didn't/wouldn't start this thread but like it or not its here and i'll damm well add if i please


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## AdamLein

sawingknots said:


> i didn't/wouldn't start this thread but like it or not its here and i'll damm well add if i please


Are you feeling okay? You're looking a little pale. Sweaty. And did you know your eyes are turning red?


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## sawingknots

actually i'm feeling pretty good today,thanks for asking


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## LandLocked66c

He sounds like he's infected! Should we take him out? We'll do it quick sawinglogs!


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## CaptMikey

*Zombie Defense*

the best defense for a zombie attack is to have an IRS field auditor with you. nothing scares these people and they strike fear in everything. as long as they feel they can grab a penny for the gov't they're on the attack. nothing is safe from them. not zombies or terrorists or hords of invading mongols. nothing is safe.


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## LandLocked66c

bljones said:


> Buffet fans ARE zombies...aren't they?


Haha - this is true!


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## bljones

CaptMikey said:


> the best defense for a zombie attack is to have an IRS field auditor with you. nothing scares these people and they strike fear in everything. as long as they feel they can grab a penny for the gov't they're on the attack. nothing is safe from them. not zombies or terrorists or hords of invading mongols. nothing is safe.


Hang out with the taxman, or take my chances with zombies... hmmmm...
I'll take my chances.


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## LandLocked66c

I always thought tax men were blood sucking zombies anyways!


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## captflood

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS Has anyone tried a slurge gun this seems to work for Buggy Malone and his gangGo SAFE


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## bljones

Great, first zombies, now an alien invasion.


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## sawingknots

i think my first wife was a zombie,anyway she couldn't swim very well


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## bljones

sawingknots said:


> i think my first wife was a zombie,anyway she couldn't swim very well


Your real name isn't Robert Wagner, is it?


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## flyingwelshman

bljones said:


> Your real name isn't Robert Wagner, is it?


C'mon - don't go overboard!

Hey! This is post # 666 for me! right in a thread about the undead!


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## sawingknots

whos robert wagner?


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## HDChopper

Bahahahahahaa


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## flyingwelshman

sawingknots said:


> whos robert wagner?


An American actor.









Married to Natalie Wood who 'fell off a boat and drowned.'


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## WanderingStar

Zombies are one thing, but don't pick in the IRS. My brother works there, in (get this!) Human Resources!
In zombie apocalypse will there be a department of zombie resources?


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## flyingwelshman

WanderingStar said:


> Zombies are one thing, but don't pick in the IRS. My brother works there, in (get this!) Human Resources!
> In zombie apocalypse will there be a department of zombie resources?


It'll still be 'Human Resources', but that's what they'll call the cafeteria.


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## sawingknots

yeah i know,i was pulling your leg


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## LandLocked66c




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## LandLocked66c




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## LandLocked66c




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## LandLocked66c




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## LandLocked66c




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## LandLocked66c




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## flyingwelshman

Landlocked66c is really getting into the spirit of this thread, however we need to bring it back on to a sailing-related tack or it'll get bumped off to the nether regions of the forum.

I'm surprised that no one has discussed the economic impact of zombies, as the health of the economy certainly affects sailing.

Check this out: 
Zombies worth over $5 billion to economy

There have been a few discussions about the nautical application of zombies.

There was even a discussion of zombie vs non-zombie relative mass and/or density. This is significant if we are going to hang zombies from our rigging as their mass will impact our centres of gravity and our righting moments etc.

Remember to balance the mass of any zombies that are suspended high up the mast with a corresponding amount of ballast.

Although I think we could take advantage of the zombie mass. One could, for example, attach a zombie to ones halyard, heave it overboard, and the drag created would hoist the main without the use of manual or electronic winches.


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## bljones

All of the previous is predicated on the theory that it is perfectly acceptable, nay even advantageous, to have zombies on your boat.
Zombies. On. Your. Boat.

Oh, HELL, no.

Dead hookers in the bilge are one thing, but I draw the line at zombies. The goal is to survive the apocalypse, not become the Vichy French to brain eaters.

Besides, strapping the walking dead to the keel and the rig is going to really screw up the sailing dynamics. She won't go to windward for schmidt, and there can't be anything more gross than having to clear a poorly secured keel-zombie out of the prop.


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## flyingwelshman

bljones said:


> All of the previous is predicated on the theory that it is perfectly acceptable, nay even advantageous, to have zombies on your boat.
> Zombies. On. Your. Boat.
> 
> Oh, HELL, no.
> 
> Dead hookers in the bilge are one thing, but I draw the line at zombies. The goal is to survive the apocalypse, not become the Vichy French to brain eaters.
> 
> Besides, strapping the walking dead to the keel and the rig is going to really screw up the sailing dynamics. She won't go to windward for schmidt, and there can't be anything more gross than having to clear a poorly secured keel-zombie out of the prop.


"Ahh, Doctor Jones. You are nefarious!"

I think you are on to something here. We've spent so much time thinking about if we could use zombies, we didn't stop to think if we should use zombies.

Okay, back to defensive posture #1: preventing zombies from climbing up the rode by setting the right kind (i.e. not Chinese Rocna) of anchor; affixing a zombie/squirrel/rat baffle. Also the use of edged and blunt-force weapons has been approved.


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## LandLocked66c

Okay, back on track... A sailor needs his own island, it's a must have IMO.

The first thing that should be done would be to sail to the least inhabited island and wipe out all the zombies! Approach the shore in daylight and fire off some shots attracting the un-dead. Then one by one take em out! When they get to close motor or sail off until you are out of harms way. Then rinse and repeat. Now you have a fresh start. From there you sail to and from restocking your zombie lair and hopefully in the process picking up a nice looking survivor to kick off the human race with! From there it's conquering islands until you can one day reclaim the continents...


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## sawingknots

are you sure bashing zombies is poliitically correct,if and i doubt any exist they are surely sending protests to,hmmm somewhere


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## peterchech

To be honest, you never could afford your own island... till now! There is some up side to this zombie apocalypse...

I'm gonna nix the edged weapons idea, assuming that blood is the pathogen that spreads the zombie infection. I know that normally a bite/saliva is required, but let's be realistic here  if saliva can spread the zombie disease, then blood almost certainly can too. And you know that after all those close calls you will have open wounds. So stay as far away from bleeding zombies as possible!

Back to a more nautical concentration here. The absolute best zombie weapon around can be found on any propane-outfitted boat. The propane tanks! (see night of the living dead, the remake). Simply duct tape a flare to the tank, roll it into the middle of a bunch of zombies and shoot the tank. Works every time. Don't just take my word for it, I have killed lots of zombies this way. 

It is so annoying when people post their opinions without having real experience behind it.


----------



## RobGallagher

Something I had not considered before;

Are we talking Bio-Zombies or Un-dead Zombies? It's vitally important to determine the variety of Zombie we are debating.

Bio-Zombies do need to breath. Un-dead Zombies do not.

Bio-Zombies would drown if they could not keep their heads above water. Would they even try it?

The gas build up in the decaying flesh of Undead Zombies would cause them to bob like corks in the ocean. Meaning that yes, they could paddle towards you until such time as the gas in their flesh dissipated and they would sink. This would make them more dangerous because they could simply walk under water.


----------



## Ajax_MD

LandLocked66c said:


> Okay, back on track... A sailor needs his own island, it's a must have IMO.
> <snip>


I've already plotted this. I'm planning on conquering and settling Tangier Island in the Chesapeake Bay. It only has a population of a couple hundred and is only accessible by boat. I'm calling dibs, so back off.

Worst case, I'll settle Middle Hooper Island, just north of that, but Tangier Island will be better equipped so that's my first choice.


----------



## LandLocked66c

To get some insight into surviving a zombie apocalypse check out "The Walking Dead" on AMC if you can tune in. It's pretty insightful and fairly realistic. It will return to the airwaves this winter. Although they aren't that smart because they aren't heading for water and getting there own island!


----------



## LandLocked66c

BubbleheadMd said:


> I've already plotted this. I'm planning on conquering and settling Tangier Island in the Chesapeake Bay. It only has a population of a couple hundred and is only accessible by boat. I'm calling dibs, so back off.
> 
> Worst case, I'll settle Middle Hooper Island, just north of that, but Tangier Island will be better equipped so that's my first choice.


Greedy bugger! You can have it! The crabs are gone anyways. Although you may see a resurgence because of all the crab food on the bottom!


----------



## Squidd

Don't forget to bring someone along to help repopulate the earth...

(but check their pulse before boarding)


----------



## bljones

It's probably not wise to eat crabs which have eaten zombie flesh.


----------



## peterchech

RobGallagher said:


> Something I had not considered before;
> 
> Are we talking Bio-Zombies or Un-dead Zombies? It's vitally important to determine the variety of Zombie we are debating.
> 
> Bio-Zombies do need to breath. Un-dead Zombies do not.
> 
> Bio-Zombies would drown if they could not keep their heads above water. Would they even try it?
> 
> The gas build up in the decaying flesh of Undead Zombies would cause them to bob like corks in the ocean. Meaning that yes, they could paddle towards you until such time as the gas in their flesh dissipated and they would sink. This would make them more dangerous because they could simply walk under water.


Walking under water is not such a problem if you are anchored in deep water. Zombies are not very sturdily put together, so the water pressure would do some damage. Plus, being pretty much brain dead they certainly couldn't equalize by holding their nose and blowing hard, so their brains would probably implode with their ear drums if they went much deeper than 50'. Not to mention the bends, they would die within seconds of surfacing.

What scares me more is those smart zombies, like the ones in I am legend.


----------



## LandLocked66c

The other benefit of them being underwater is they could no longer smell you and once there inner ear blew out could no longer hear as well. You still wouldn't want to swim at an unsecured beach. Standard netting and regular dredging would be needed i'm afraid.


----------



## LandLocked66c

bljones said:


> It's probably not wise to eat crabs which have eaten zombie flesh.


****! You would have to be careful of all seafood! Another reason to only fish in deep water! I love oysters - this sucks!!!


----------



## Ajax_MD

I'm not sweating it. I have several cases of MRE's to get me started. I'll plant crops after that, and if I'm not mistaken, I think there's a little livestock on the island. 

Oh- I've got the "reproduction partner" taken care of as well.


----------



## LandLocked66c

BubbleheadMd said:


> Oh- I've got the "reproduction partner" taken care of as well.


Is she chained up for safe keeping? :laugher


----------



## LandLocked66c

Another benefit! You choice of boats at the local marina...


----------



## LandLocked66c

Future Zombie right here!


----------



## WanderingStar

What do you mean "future" zombie?
You guys are messed up. Makes me feel normal. I think I'm home.


----------



## flyingwelshman

Seems as though we are not alone in our speculations.
Check this out: The Perfect Boat for the Infected / Zombie Apocalypse


----------



## naturalivin

"pick of boats at the marina". Haha. I love it. I'm trading up. When's the apocalypse?

I think the boat is the way to go. There was a movie where they "escaped" at the end in a sailboat. I don't think it went well, but they never say why.


----------



## Bene505

Would a wind generator attract zombies?

That usually isn't a factor in the old solar versus wind discussion. Perhaps that needs to be added to the list.

Our Fourwinds II is very quite, I bet the Airbreeze owners are eaten first.

Regards,
Brad


----------



## bljones

But what if you have an AirBreeze AND a Rocna on board? Would they not cancel each other out as far as zombie attraction?

And would a BFS burgee be a zombie magnet? Brrrrraaaaaaiiiiiinnnnns For Sure


----------



## GMFL

LandLocked66c said:


> To get some !


I was going to suggest this as well, great show. You can get first season on Netflix, I don't have cable but bought the second season on iTunes. Again, GREAT show.

For some reason I've become a fan of zombie shows. A real fun podcast is recorded at my Alma Mater by a group of talented people. It's called We're Alive. 
The Zombie Podcast - We're Alive - A Story of Survival


----------



## LupodiMare

Are there actually ?


----------



## flyingwelshman

LupodiMare said:


> Are there ?


Please refer to post #43 in this thread.

Happy Festivus!


----------



## LupodiMare

busy drinking in your cockpit!


----------



## bljones

LupodiMare said:


> Flyingwelshman. what are you on and can I get some? I only asked if there were any sailors out there. Not just wanna bees sitting in a cockpit somewhere drinking and looking at the stars. I am at sea, heading for the Torres Straits, somewhere you will never see since you are busy drinking in your cockpit!


You could be a sailor. This is the internet. I could be a blonde with a 36 DD rack.
What you have PROVEN, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that you are an assh ole.

Conversations like this is what real sailors do to get through the winter, when their boats are on the hard.

Any sailor who doesn't occasionally sit in the cockpit and gaze up on the stars isn't much of a sailor.

And any sailor so humourless as to belittle the small harmless amusements of others is no sailor I'd share a boat with in the Torres, or even Dire, Straits.

Merry Christmas.


----------



## Donna_F

LupodiMare said:


> Are there actually any sailors on this site?


I like to think of the forum and the chat room as having a bunch of sailors in my living room talking (sometimes BS, sometimes not) but I don't have to feed them.

There are plenty of threads that are strictly about sailing. I see no reason why a little lightheartedness can't happen alongside.


----------



## JoeDiver

DRFerron said:


> I like to think of the forum and the chat room as having a bunch of sailors in my living room talking (sometimes BS, sometimes not) but I don't have to feed them.


+1....then they'd never leave!


----------



## JoeDiver

LupodiMare said:


> Flyingwelshman. what are you on and can I get some? I only asked if there were any sailors out there. Not just wanna bees sitting in a cockpit somewhere drinking and looking at the stars. I am at sea, heading for the Torres Straits, somewhere you will never see since you are busy drinking in your cockpit!


Since you're new here, you should properly introduce yourself to everyone:

Official Welcome Announcement


----------



## flyingwelshman

LupodiMare said:


> Flyingwelshman. what ? busy drinking in your cockpit!


Signor Seawolf: what I am on is "The Hard". You are certainly welcome to 'get some', however, I am certain that you would rather be where you are - as would I.

One of the things I like about this site is the diversity of sailors here. Some are day-sailors; some dinghy sailors; some racers; some cruisers; and Smackdaddy. Many of us would like to be able to set off as you claim to have done, however, for many reasons, cannot. Neptune loves us all equally.

BTW what's so bad about sitting in your cockpit with a drink and looking at the stars?

As for Mr Wolf having to show his 'credentials': I am now more interested in Signora Jones showing hers.


----------



## LupodiMare

Sailors sail.


----------



## LupodiMare

You should feed your guests.


----------



## LupodiMare

*Who Am I*

Sailing for more than 45 years, a ship captain, a boat builder, more than 30 transatlantic and transpacific passages, many under sail. Have been through the Panama and Suez. Have sailed around the Capes. Am now on a 60 foot Colin Archer heading for Galle.


----------



## LupodiMare

Oh Yeah,


----------



## LupodiMare

Headshots:


----------



## LupodiMare

A Catalina 25?


----------



## LupodiMare

Wow! A Catalina 25.


----------



## flyingwelshman

Dear Moderators, when you ban Signore Loopy, which you inevitably will, please do not delete his posts from this thread. His inane babbling has no value except that it increases the post count and makes it appear as though this thread is more popular than it actually is.

Thanks in advance

FW

PS Have a stupendous Kwanza


----------



## sawingknots

LupodiMare said:


> Oh Yeah, Who is Signora Jones?


now i'm curious too,but seriously lupodimare[whoever you are]you might want to rethink the ak47,jail in foreign countrys is little better than being dead,a ak47 wouldn't have any affect on a zombie anyway,drowning is the way to go and while your at it i'd do a quick attitude adjustment too,most[MOST] of the members on this forum aren't your enemy,why make them so?


----------



## LupodiMare

A Nash 26. Wow.


----------



## flyingwelshman

sawingknots said:


> now i'm curious too,but seriously lupodimare[whoever you are]you might want to rethink the ak47,jail in foreign countrys is little better than being dead,a ak47 wouldn't have any affect on a zombie anyway,drowning is the way to go and while your at it i'd do a quick attitude adjustment too,most[MOST] of the members on this forum aren't your enemy,why make them so?


A few posts back bljones claimed to be a blond with a 36DD rack. I'd like to see evidence of that!

It's really great to see you getting into the spirit this thread (seriously)! Merry Christmas.


----------



## flyingwelshman

*Found Miss bljones' credentials....*

I scoured the archives and found Signore BLJones' old profile pic:


----------



## bljones

Damn, I'm kinda hot.


----------



## sawingknots

wow not bad if you have a razor i might be interested[call me]


----------



## scottbr

bljones said:


> Damn, I'm kinda hot.


Then I definately will buy you a beer this year at the boat show....


----------



## Bene505

Worst bump ever.


----------



## MedSailor

Bene505 said:


> Worst bump ever.


If you study the picture a little closer there are actually TWO bumps. 

Medsailor


----------



## Squidd

MedSailor said:


> If you study the picture a little closer there are actually TWO bumps.
> 
> Medsailor


More like a two "Bagger"....


----------



## Bene505

How can an off-topic thread get so quickly off-off-topic?

Regards,
Brad


----------



## flyingwelshman

Don't you see the irony here?

A thread about the undead that won't die!

BTW I think the term we are all thinking of vis a vis bljones is "butterface".


----------



## Familycruisers

*Couple points...*

1st I LOVE ZOMBIES!! always have, always will!! This thread is awesome!

2nd Long distance, silent weapons (who knows what version these zombies will be. The Walking Dead kind or the I am Legend kind!). So arrows and crossbow for me.


----------



## talyn1

Read the book "World War Z". It discusses taking to boats to escape zombies and what is required to make this effective.


----------



## Ajax_MD

Familycruisers said:


> 1st I LOVE ZOMBIES!! always have, always will!! This thread is awesome!
> 
> 2nd Long distance, silent weapons (who knows what version these zombies will be. The Walking Dead kind or the I am Legend kind!). *So arrows and crossbow for me*.


Plus, you can re-use or fabricate your own ammo. The downside is the slow rate of fire, and that bows are poor short range weapons. I'll take a bow and a sawed off shotgun for when I'm hard pressed.


----------



## PaulinVictoria

I'll take one of these please:


----------



## bljones

Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
*flick*
*prime*
*pbbbtth*
*prime again*
*pbbbttthhh*
*pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
*pant, pant, pant*
*Open Choke*
*pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
*Close choke* 
*DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
*pbbbbthh*


----------



## Ajax_MD

bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


This is friggin' priceless. My co-workers are wondering why I'm LMAO. :laugher


----------



## WanderingStar

bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


Sounds like foreplay.


----------



## Undadar

bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


LMAO!!!! :laugher


----------



## flyingwelshman

Here's what we need.

I think you spray it in the seams of your bimini and dodger - like spider spray.


----------



## Bene505

bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


Off-topic post of the year!!

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Ajax_MD

I am STILL LMAO at this!


----------



## afrinus

OK, Mr Jones, that made my early morning - absolutely hilarious

I am worried though regarding Mr Bubblehead - If his A** is falling off this easily, maybe he is one of them.........


----------



## flyingwelshman

*Slingshot Zombiehammer*

I'm sorry to bring this back up, but I just came across this and I had to share (to keep it sailing-related: the *Slingshot Zombiehammer* could also act as an emergency tiller and would be an excellent way to repel pirates):


----------



## GMFL

flyingwelshman said:


> I'm sorry to bring this back up,


What do you mean your sorry? This is one of the best threads on Sailnet!!!
\
That guy is awesome BTW!!

Yes, sometimes I read about and actually sail too..


----------



## Boasun

Boats won't protect you against "WereSharks" I think they made several bad movies about this.


----------



## LandLocked66c

I've successfully scouted out Great Exuma and Little Exuma. It will pass as a suitable zombie lair....


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c

*The Ultimate Anti-Zombie Fortress. *

Nevermind, huge pic!


----------



## Bene505

LandLocked66c said:


> *The Ultimate Anti-Zombie Fortress. *
> 
> Nevermind, huge pic!


Keeping your Ultimate Anti-Zombie Fortress plans to yourself. That's just not right!

Regards,
Brad


----------



## mikieg

what ever you do, dont talk about arming ones self for zombie killin. it makes the canadians jealous and works them into a zombie like frenzy.


----------



## bljones

What is the difference between a warrior-wannabe from Tulsa and a zombie?

One is a mindless, easily- influenced, bloodthirsty, single-minded, unimaginative, humourless drone...

and the other is a zombie.


----------



## mikieg

WOW! see what i mean!
as i pointed out last time, you should only comment on things you know about. it's ok. we still love you.


----------



## bljones

Awww, did I hurt your feelings again mikie?

I'm sure there is somebody out there who takes you as seriously as you do.


----------



## LandLocked66c

You asked for it!


----------



## LandLocked66c

Another impenetrable fortress!


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## mikieg

not at all. here is an example of how little you know. how could you call some one a warrior wannabe who has served in both gulf wars and has served his community as law enforcement for 5 years? see, yet again, you have no clue as to what you comment on.
looking at your 3200 posts on this forum alone and the fact that you responded in less than 9 minutes to my joke, you must spend a lot of time on your couch with your laptop. kinda an arm chair quarter back type, aren't ya? doubt you have ever done anything that was for the better of your country or community, or would remotely put you in harm's way.
stay in your lane. that couch is a good safe place for boys like you. when you have been wronged, you and your country call guys like me. we turn our little lights on and come runnin to handle your problems. your group never thanks my group. but i thank you. its folks like you that keep me in a job!
i still enjoy reading your posts. i think you might know something about boats.
you should stick to talkin about boats.


----------



## LandLocked66c

I'll resize those pics when I get home guys!


----------



## bljones

mikieg said:


> not at all. here is an example of how little you know. how could you call some one a warrior wannabe who has served in both gulf wars and has served his community as law enforcement for 5 years? see, yet again, you have no clue as to what you comment on.
> looking at your 3200 posts on this forum alone and the fact that you responded in less than 9 minutes to my joke, you must spend a lot of time on your couch with your laptop. kinda an arm chair quarter back type, aren't ya? doubt you have ever done anything that was for the better of your country or community, or would remotely put you in harm's way.
> stay in your lane. that couch is a good safe place for boys like you. when you have been wronged, you and your country call guys like me. we turn our little lights on and come runnin to handle your problems. your group never thanks my group. but i thank you. its folks like you that keep me in a job!
> i still enjoy reading your posts. i think you might know something about boats.
> you should stick to talkin about boats.


Pump your brakes, holster-stitcher. Don't make yourself a bigger joke than you already are.

You seem to have a problem with Canadians. Almost as big a problem as you have keeping your story straight.

Did one of us hunky Canadian men turn down one of your clumsy passes, Mikie? Is that why you've got such a hard-on for me?

Realx a little, poser, and you might actually be bearable. Those who have actually btdt generally don't play the btdt card.

Don't you have a sewing machine to run, Okie?


----------



## Bene505

Guys, the zombies only win if we turn on each other. Now is not the time for infighting amoung ourselves. 

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Bene505

LL66c,

Nice fortress. Where is it? 

Regards,
Brad


----------



## captflood

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS Now now play nice now or you'll only all get upset GO SAFE


----------



## LandLocked66c

Bene505 said:


> LL66c,
> 
> Nice fortress. Where is it?
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


Not sure, It looks like it's on the pacific northwest but I doubt that's the case.


----------



## mikieg

lets rewind shall we. jones came out of nowhere to attack me in the sewing machine thread. i quickly showed him that he was clueless. then today, he came into this thread to try to even the score. and yet again i had to show him to his seat.
"What is the difference between a warrior-wannabe from Tulsa and a zombie?

One is a mindless, easily- influenced, bloodthirsty, single-minded, unimaginative, humourless drone...

and the other is a zombie."
so how can one be "mindless" and yet a mere four words later be "single minded"?
i would advise that before you attack some one, at the very least, think it thru.
yet just another example of jones speaking before thinking.
and now he infers that i am gay because i have a sewing machine. 
folks, please accept my apologies on his behalf. i am sure he is quite an embarrassment to himself and his country. wonder what other snide remarks we would hear if he knew i were african american. WOW!


----------



## mikieg

and one more thing, just for the record, it was not me that referred to canadian men or any man for that matter as "HUNKy". i also refrain from mentioning the erect status of other men's genitalia. just wanted to clear the air on that one. haha sit down jones. it will all be ok. if you would like to continue, we need to take it to PM.

the zombie thing is one that has alot of people talking. it is surely alot of fun. i have never thought of my boat as any part of a zombie evacuation plan. i guess it would make sense.


----------



## LandLocked66c

bljones = Zombie!


----------



## LandLocked66c

This thread is still hanging on!


----------



## smackdaddy

Wow - totally missed this thread. Out of humility, respect, and deference to flyguy, I will now bang a headshot into the other thread I just started on the subject.


----------



## LandLocked66c

Even Michael new about this thread...


----------



## Kielanders

Technical Question:

For experienced sailors, are there different tactical requirements for disabling zombies who are attracted to zombies of the same zombie sex?

Say, like, when they're attacking your sailboat, neutralizing a zombie Rue Paul, as opposed to a zombie Ellen Degeneres?

Thanks.


----------



## CarbonSink62

Bene505 said:


> Now is not the time for infighting amoung ourselves.


When will it be time?

Can someone PM me? :laugher


----------



## RobGallagher

Kielanders said:


> Technical Question:
> 
> For experienced sailors, are there different tactical requirements for disabling zombies who are attracted to zombies of the same zombie sex?
> 
> Say, like, when they're attacking your sailboat, neutralizing a zombie Rue Paul, as opposed to a zombie Ellen Degeneres?
> 
> Thanks.


Rue Paul is of the zombie third sex.


----------



## LandLocked66c

Kielanders said:


> Technical Question:
> 
> For experienced sailors, are there different tactical requirements for disabling zombies who are attracted to zombies of the same zombie sex?
> 
> Say, like, when they're attacking your sailboat, neutralizing a zombie Rue Paul, as opposed to a zombie Ellen Degeneres?
> 
> Thanks.


Now that's a first... Hadn't ever gone there in my head...


----------



## mikieg

i love this thread!


----------



## chrisncate

I'd like to organize an effort to help the zombies out, they were once people too you know.

Why the hate...


----------



## jlynker

You are what you eat.

I wonder if you can tell vegetarian Zombie from a carnivorous Zombie? Cuz I once saw a bumper sticker that said 'Vegetarians taste better'.


----------



## rgscpat

Zombies do need both medical treatment, therapy, monitoring, and counseling in making the difficult recovery back to normalcy. They are quite rare, requiring great skill and patience to create, all at huge risk to the zombie, and are very unlikely to ever be seen by first-world cruisers. And, they're likely to be too weak to swim any great distance or through surf, or to be much of a threat to someone who's healthy and alert. If anything, people should pity zombies and try to change the conditions and traditions which allowed them to be created. If you're in zombie territory, there are more serious things to worry about -- poverty, widespread crime in more densely populated areas, earthquakes, snakes, impure water, and tropical diseases, corruption among officials, shortage of medical care and facilities.


----------



## mikieg

we have all that right here! we have never manned up to fixing those problems. 
we need to go on a zombie hunt the ole fashioned way. maybe hitler style. eventually there will be no more zombies. but then where would be the fun in that?


----------



## Minnewaska

You know folks, the stink potters are going to publish this thread in their annual convention journal and consider it good cause to push a 5 foot wake into the next blow boater.


----------



## bljones

rgscpat said:


> Zombies do need both medical treatment, therapy, monitoring, and counseling in making the difficult recovery back to normalcy. They are quite rare, requiring great skill and patience to create, all at huge risk to the zombie, and are very unlikely to ever be seen by first-world cruisers. And, they're likely to be too weak to swim any great distance or through surf, or to be much of a threat to someone who's healthy and alert. If anything, people should pity zombies and try to change the conditions and traditions which allowed them to be created. If you're in zombie territory, there are more serious things to worry about -- poverty, widespread crime in more densely populated areas, earthquakes, snakes, impure water, and tropical diseases, corruption among officials, shortage of medical care and facilities.


I think rgcspat has been turned.

GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## flyingwelshman

rgscpat said:


> Zombies do need both medical treatment, therapy, monitoring, and counseling in making the difficult recovery back to normalcy. They are quite rare, requiring great skill and patience to create, all at huge risk to the zombie, and are very unlikely to ever be seen by first-world cruisers. And, they're likely to be too weak to swim any great distance or through surf, or to be much of a threat to someone who's healthy and alert. If anything, people should pity zombies and try to change the conditions and traditions which allowed them to be created. If you're in zombie territory, there are more serious things to worry about -- poverty, widespread crime in more densely populated areas, earthquakes, snakes, impure water, and tropical diseases, corruption among officials, shortage of medical care and facilities.


Let's form an advocacy group.

We can call it : P.E.T.Z. - People for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies.

I think it's got legs!

edit: Looks like it's already been done. Sign up now! (http://joinpetz.org/)


----------



## flyingwelshman

mikieg said:


> we have all that right here! we have never manned up to fixing those problems.
> we need to go on a zombie hunt the ole fashioned way. maybe hitler style. eventually there will be no more zombies. but then where would be the fun in that?


I call 'Godwin's Law'!


----------



## mikieg

godwin's law is awesome! never heard of such a thing. i wasn't criticizing anyone, i was just referring to the efficient style of disposal he used. actually hermann goring was the drafter of "the final solution". the uninformed masses tend to give this honor to adolf hitler. 
either way, these concepts applied to the destruction of any anti productive social cancers such as zombies should be done in moderation. it takes all the fun outta huntin em!


----------



## mikieg

hey welsh. you should be proud. this thread has survived this long. WOW!


----------



## flyingwelshman

mikieg said:


> hey welsh. you should be proud. this thread has survived this long. WOW!


Hey Mike, yeah I'm surprised they haven't pulled the plug.

Here's a sailboat just to keep it related:










And here's a belated video on how to survive a zombie apocolypse during the holidays:


----------



## mikieg

welsh, that was a real treat. it never ceases to amaze me at how serious people take this zombie thing. i have to admit, i love the movies no matter how much they freak me out. 
one simply could not carry enough ammo to save himself in a time like that.
as much fun as it is talking about it, i just cant believe the zombie thing is as popular as it is. there is a website called zombie hunters. the federal government even got in on the zombie thing!


----------



## flyingwelshman

The Center For Disease Control (CDC) - a US governmental agency - actually posted instructions on hwo to survive a Zombie Apocalypse : Zombie Preparedness

Back here: http://www.sailnet.com/forums/809543-post90.html I linked to an article about the impact of zombies on the economy. It is significant!

But to keep it sailing related we need to discus the merits of tiller steering vs. wheel steering when fending off the undead....

I'll start: the tiller is definitely a winner here. Try and beat the brains out of voracious creature with a wheel. By the time you get it unbolted you are dead (or, rather 'un-dead'!).

The tiller makes for an excellent blunt-force weapon (which, as many here have stated, would be the weapon of choice). Just simply remove the pin or ring; slide the pintles out of the gudgeons, et viola! A heavy-hitting-zombie-bashing-berserker of a club!

Granted, most wheel-steered vessels are equipped with an emergency tiller which would serve as a good weapon as well. Tiller-steered craft should have a spare available to be used in a pinch.

Next we'll discuss cookware: cast iron: great for cooking and head-bashing the shambling hordes - but what about rust?


----------



## peterchech

flyingwelshman said:


> The Center For Disease Control (CDC) - a US governmental agency - actually posted instructions on hwo to survive a Zombie Apocalypse : Zombie Preparedness
> 
> Back here: http://www.sailnet.com/forums/809543-post90.html I linked to an article about the impact of zombies on the economy. It is significant!
> 
> But to keep it sailing related we need to discus the merits of tiller steering vs. wheel steering when fending off the undead....
> 
> I'll start: the tiller is definitely a winner here. Try and beat the brains out of voracious creature with a wheel. By the time you get it unbolted you are dead (or, rather 'un-dead'!).
> 
> The tiller makes for an excellent blunt-force weapon (which, as many here have stated, would be the weapon of choice). Just simply remove the pin or ring; slide the pintles out of the gudgeons, et viola! A heavy-hitting-zombie-bashing-berserker of a club!
> 
> Granted, most wheel-steered vessels are equipped with an emergency tiller which would serve as a good weapon as well. Tiller-steered craft should have a spare available to be used in a pinch.
> 
> Next we'll discuss cookware: cast iron: great for cooking and head-bashing the shambling hordes - but what about rust?


Well teflon is easier to clean zombie blood and splattered bodily fluids off of. And all utensils, especially meat cleavers, should be of quality stainless steel and kept sharp.

On to stoves. Alcohol fuel can be used to burn attacking zombies alive. But propane can be best for your "last stand", when there are 30 zombies surrounding you in the cabin and you've been bit so you know you're screwed anyway. Open up the propane tanks and get ready to blow it all to smithereens!


----------



## sawingknots

a sailboat is a good place to be! zombies or not


----------



## Kielanders

rgscpat said:


> Zombies do need both medical treatment, therapy, monitoring, and counseling in making the difficult recovery back to normalcy. They are quite rare, requiring great skill and patience to create, all at huge risk to the zombie, and are very unlikely to ever be seen by first-world cruisers. And, they're likely to be too weak to swim any great distance or through surf, or to be much of a threat to someone who's healthy and alert. If anything, people should pity zombies and try to change the conditions and traditions which allowed them to be created. If you're in zombie territory, there are more serious things to worry about -- poverty, widespread crime in more densely populated areas, earthquakes, snakes, impure water, and tropical diseases, corruption among officials, shortage of medical care and facilities.


Sir, I question your loyalty.

_...you're either with us, or against us._

Or, are you working for _them_?


----------



## sawingknots

the human race,is what it is,has always been and always will be


----------



## bljones

Thank you, Mr. Freakin' Miyagi. Now, will you please help find a solution to the zombie problem before I use your zen self for bait?


----------



## sawingknots

a little humor doesn't change anything but makes it easier to swallow,humor and rhum,a little humor and lots of rhum


----------



## Kielanders

sawingknots said:


> the human race,is what it is,has always been and always will be


_...for god's sake man, think of the children!_


----------



## sawingknots

bljones said:


> Thank you, Mr. Freakin' Miyagi. Now, will you please help find a solution to the zombie problem before I use your zen self for bait?


there you are,just use zombies for bait to troll behind your boat,they will be good for bait and chum at the same time


----------



## sawingknots

btw who is zen?


----------



## sawingknots

kielanders! by any chance do you use a steel icebreaker on the bow of your boat?


----------



## Kielanders

sawingknots said:


> kielanders! by any chance do you use a steel icebreaker on the bow of your boat?


We've got a historically ice free bay here, which people have been bitc%ing about having the beginnings of ice the past month or so.

_...this year has been rough._



By the way, I think 'Zen' is the dude who invented 'rum'.


----------



## Squidd

Damn Global Warming...


----------



## peterchech

haha sawing knots is that how you pronounce the work r-hum? Reminds me of how stewie pronounces the word "w-hip"...


(that is a young person's reference to Family Guy BTW, since many of those "older" forumites have gone on to a better place and wouldn't get the reference )


----------



## sawingknots

i was thinking maybe along the lines of"zen and the art of motorcycle mechanics" just subsitute boat for motorcycle


----------



## flyingwelshman

Squidd said:


> Damn Global Warming...


Hey quit trying to hijack my thread about the very real, and serious issue of Zombie Apocalypse by bringing up such fantastical nonsense!


----------



## sawingknots

many countries spell rum/ rhum


----------



## sawingknots

and rhum isn't nonsence,i take mine very seriously


----------



## flyingwelshman

sawingknots said:


> many countries spell rum/ rhum


I spell it: G-O-S-L-I-N-G-S, which makes me do really crappy at crossword puzzles....


----------



## Kielanders

flyingwelshman said:


> Hey quit trying to hijack my thread about the very real, and serious issue of Zombie Apocalypse by bringing up such fantastical nonsense!


I'll bring us back, as my situational awareness has been peaked by this imminent threat, and its impact on my future purchase.

Question:

A zombie has boarded from the aft, your wife is in the cockpit plastered in fear against the cabin. You've also left your bottle of rum resting on the companionway hatch while you went forward to take a whiz.

Is the zombie making its first move toward your wife, or your bottle?

Which one do you protect?

I mean, it'd be one thing if they got my wife,_ but if they got my booze_...


----------



## sawingknots

sadest thing in the world is a accidently broken bottle of rhum,wives are always broken or sick


----------



## peterchech

IDK, about the only thing worse than a pissed off wife is a pissed off zombie wife...


----------



## flyingwelshman

Kielanders said:


> I'll bring us back, as my situational awareness has been peaked by this imminent threat, and its impact on my future purchase.
> 
> Question:
> 
> A zombie has boarded from the aft, your wife is in the cockpit plastered in fear against the cabin. You've also left your bottle of rum resting on the companionway hatch while you went forward to take a whiz.
> 
> Is the zombie making its first move toward your wife, or your bottle?
> 
> Which one do you protect?
> 
> I mean, it'd be one thing if they got my wife,_ but if they got my booze_...


If the wife is 'plastered' then the rum bottle is probably empty - go for the wife!


----------



## bljones

Rookie mistake- you put down the bottle. Never let go of the bottle, and you never have to wonder whether the zombie is after the broad or the booze.


----------



## Kielanders

bljones said:


> Rookie mistake- you put down the bottle. Never let go of the bottle, and you never have to wonder whether the zombie is after the broad or the booze.


_...i just spit out my morning coffee, lol!_


----------



## bljones

Dude...it's afternoon, the coffee probably tasted like ****e anyway.


----------



## Kielanders

bljones said:


> Dude...it's afternoon, the coffee probably tasted like ****e anyway.


_...still morning here, didn't say what was 'in' the coffee._


----------



## Bene505

One hand for the boat, one for the bottle!!

Regards,
Brad


----------



## sawingknots

i pretty much sail alone but now that i think of it sometimes when i wake up the next morning the bottle is empty....damm zombies


----------



## thedudeistoocool

It has been a long while since I last visited Sailnet, it seems to have gotten weirder. I like it.

Something it seems no one is considering when repelling zombies is the strong possibility of zombies being able to operate powerboats at a very high skill level. Basing my assesment on the current skill levels of powerboaters, I think it would be unlikely that zombies would do worse and more than likely that zombies would perform better.

The obvious solution to dispatching powerboats filled with beer swilling bikini clad zombies is the molotov cocktail. 
Some would suggest using gasoline in their molotov but that means at some point you will end up rowing your dinghy.
I recommend using rum (or rhum if you prefer). Many would consider using the potent potable in such a manner to be near sacrilige, but how often can you use the excuse 
"I'm preparing for the zombie apocalypse"
to buy unlimited quantities of rum.(not that you need an excuse)
An additional benefit is that in the unlikely even of the zombie apocalypse not happening... you still have unlimited quantities of rum.
In corporate circles, that is known as a win/win.


----------



## sawingknots

yup,theres a very strange bunch here,all except you and me


----------



## Squidd

And I'm not so sure about you....


----------



## sawingknots

me too a little bit,oh lord this thread is growing momentum


----------



## Kielanders

sawingknots said:


> me too a little bit,oh lord this thread is growing momentum


Your photo, your comments; I'm new here, but my god man, _you're the real deal._

Head East! To The Big Water!; you're a sitting duck there - like you're painted in orange or something.


----------



## bljones

thedudeistoocool said:


> Some would suggest using gasoline in their molotov but that means at some point you will end up rowing your dinghy.
> I recommend using rum (or rhum if you prefer). Many would consider using the potent potable in such a manner to be near sacrilige...
> An additional benefit is that in the unlikely even of the zombie apocalypse not happening... you still have unlimited quantities of rum.
> In corporate circles, that is known as a win/win.


Right up until you run out of rum.
Not exactly a long-term planner, are you?

Frankly, I think one should capture the occasional zombie-piloted SeaRay and use the ubiquitous onboard stock of cheap bourbon to fuel the homebuilt hand bombs. The also- ubiquitous cans of light beer can also make great zombie decoys and distractions.


----------



## sawingknots

Kielanders said:


> Your photo, your comments; I'm new here, but my god man, _you're the real deal._
> 
> Head East! To The Big Water!; you're a sitting duck there - like you're painted in orange or something.


i haven't a clue what to make outa that


----------



## Kielanders

sawingknots said:


> i haven't a clue what to make outa that


Sorry, looks like from your profile on your post that you're in Tennessee; hence, Tennessee Volunteers, Big Orange, not on the ocean, etc, and your photo does make you look like a true sailor.

Just half surfing, half paying attention, having fun, my bad.


----------



## sawingknots

ahhh,i see,i didn't take any offence,no one has called me a drunken ******* sob yet today so its all good,i brought my boat up from s.c. a few years back partly to escape the huricanes that was hitting that area on a regular basis but also to have it closer to home to do some work on it,for some reason unknown to me i've just stayed,i was planning a pacific passage but my age/nerve is fading,i do have a big life changing and probably last era event coming up in the very near future


----------



## Kielanders

sawingknots said:


> i was planning a pacific passage but my age/nerve is fading,i do have a big life changing and probably last era event coming up in the very near future


I'm not quite sure where that's going, so I'm guessing. I've often thought to myself, if it comes time that I'm up against the wall for good, and I get the gift to know about it, I'm strapping on a pack and snowshoes, and heading into the wilderness with a bottle of nice something, and see how far my legs will take me.

I'm raising my drink to you and your happiness right now.

Sorry to get serious on a fun thread.

...all good things to you SawingKnots


----------



## sawingknots

wow and wow, thanks kielanders, i can't really talk about it on this public forum but its not anything morbid,i hope! i plan on being around for a good while yet,just a radical life change


----------



## sawingknots

young or old the grim reaper will eventually get us all,i'm just not going to sit around and watch for him/it/her


----------



## flyingwelshman

Could I get my thread back please?


----------



## sawingknots

this thread has been out of hand since its conception! actually i'm astonished its lasted this long


----------



## Bene505

Which would be better, an old shoe (slower but harder to board) or a modern design (faster but steps right up the back?

I think we need to institute the Zombie Stability Rating. Anything under a "2" and you are toast.

Regards,
Brad


----------



## rgscpat

We send old sails to Haiti thinking they'll be used to make shelter. But we know that some of those sails may wind up propelling patched-together boats full of desperate people trying to escape poverty and chaos to get into the USA. Possibly a voodoo doctor might try to infiltrate one of his zombies into the boat, but I'm not sure what the motivation would be... unless maybe the voodoo doctor thinks one of his zombies would be an improvement on some of the American presidential or congressional candidates. Would the Coast Guard even have the training to recognize a zombie hiding among dozens of boat people? Otherwise, I don't think our Federal Election Commission would be a very strong line of defense against zombies trying to infiltrate political offices.


----------



## mikieg

c'mon welsh. you know this is great fun. we owe it all to you brother!


----------



## flyingwelshman

mikieg said:


> c'mon welsh. you know this is great fun. we owe it all to you brother!


I'm cool!

It's just that the 'sawingknots love fest' was starting to make me feel a bit queasy. uke


----------



## bljones

It's like "Brokeback Mountain"... but with the cast of "Grumpy Old Men."
Without Ann Margret.


----------



## bljones

rgscpat said:


> We send old sails to Haiti thinking they'll be used to make shelter. But we know that some of those sails may wind up propelling patched-together boats full of desperate people trying to escape poverty and chaos to get into the USA. Possibly a voodoo doctor might try to infiltrate one of his zombies into the boat, but I'm not sure what the motivation would be... unless maybe the voodoo doctor thinks one of his zombies would be an improvement on some of the American presidential or congressional candidates. Would the Coast Guard even have the training to recognize a zombie hiding among dozens of boat people? Otherwise, I don't think our Federal Election Commission would be a very strong line of defense against zombies trying to infiltrate political offices.


Too cheap to send new sails, or, oh, I don't know, TENTS?
Keep the politics out of this thread. Zombies don't care what your affiliation is, Haitian zombies might be pissed, however, that your big contribution to earthquake relief was to ship weirdly shaped cloth that you no longer wanted at home.


----------



## sawingknots

flyingwelshman said:


> I'm cool!
> 
> It's just that the 'sawingknots love fest' was starting to make me feel a bit queasy. uke


humph,and thats from a grown man sitting around fantasizing about zombies,uhuhuhuh


----------



## sawingknots

bljones said:


> It's like "Brokeback Mountain"... but with the cast of "Grumpy Old Men."
> Without Ann Margret.


i've heard that homophobics have deep seated gender issues[denial]


----------



## MedSailor

What are you guys worried about anyway?


----------



## Kielanders

flyingwelshman said:


> Could I get my thread back please?


_Zombies are so 1950s, man.

You're trapped in the past with dead monsters, let it go dude.

Mutants, Cyborgs, Chimeras, Aliens - that's the thread's future.

God! Zombies? Really???

2012 calling dude, will you join us?
_


----------



## bljones

That's what they want you to believe.


----------



## Kielanders

bljones said:


> That's what they want you to believe.


Look, if we can't talk rationally and intelligently about this, the _aliens_ win, not the stupid zombies.

Everyone knows these types of forums are infiltrated with government agents, monitoring, directing, and disrupting discussion for their own agenda.

Who do the aliens work with?

Hellooo, Roswell, Area 51...that's right, _the government_.

The zombies conversation has been put in place to distract us from the real threat.

Don't even get me started about the legions of monkey/fish super soldiers spotted 1000 miles off Valparaiso just last year. Made all the headlines for 1 day, and then _they_ buried it.

So go ahead fools, throw your life away preparing for your precious _zombies_ - what's next, _vampires_?

This is reality folks, don't blame me when an alien ship 1 mile wide just happens to surface under your dinghy, while you're caught drunk moored off Grand Bahama cleaning seagull crap off the bow - what'd ya' gonna' do with your meat cleaver then Zombie Boy???

...you've been warned.


----------



## Bene505

So you're saying that there are alien zombies?

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Kielanders

Bene505 said:


> So you're saying that there are alien zombies?
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


nice...nice distraction...almost sounds like something _an alien would say_

I'm starting a secret list, you're at the top.


----------



## Squidd

I don't think you guys are taking this serious enough...


----------



## mtboat

My pal and I were just discussing this yesterday. If a boat was anchored in the river....
maybe the current would carry them away before they got up your anchor line, (they can also climb over themselves like a zombie pyramid), and you would have the double protection from vampires as well, (can't cross moving water).
BUT on a serious note, the newest created virus, creates zombies that don't look like zombies , You see they are domestic zombies, or homegrown zombies. They really don't look too bad! But they have a tell.....they all suffer from, "normalcy bias".


----------



## chrisncate

Again, shouldn't we be helping these poor folks? They need brains for sustenance, and it's not their fault - it's just what happens when you become a zombie. It could and should happen to you people. Maybe then you'd acquire some compassion for gods sakes. THEY WERE ONCE HUMAN, LIKE YOU!! Wtf...

I suppose if we were discussing cute fuzzy cuddly _socially acceptable_ werwolves, you'd all be like "hey, you really went through _so_ much, what with the dodging silver bullets and the hair and all, awww...", but nooo... since it's "disgusting" unacceptable zombies we're talking about, it's a freaking free for all.

Look in the mirror people (if you still can that is).


----------



## Ajax_MD

bljones said:


> It's like "Brokeback Mountain"... but with the cast of "Grumpy Old Men."
> Without Ann Margret.


You owe me a new keyboard. And a monitor.


----------



## Ajax_MD

Bene505 said:


> Which would be better, an old shoe (slower but harder to board) or a modern design (faster but steps right up the back?
> 
> I think we need to institute the Zombie Stability Rating. Anything under a "2" and you are toast.
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


Oh, this is brilliant.


----------



## flyingwelshman

Kielanders said:


> Look, if we can't talk rationally and intelligently about this, the _aliens_ win, not the stupid zombies.
> 
> Everyone knows these types of forums are infiltrated with government agents, monitoring, directing, and disrupting discussion for their own agenda.
> 
> Who do the aliens work with?
> 
> Hellooo, Roswell, Area 51...that's right, _the government_.
> 
> The zombies conversation has been put in place to distract us from the real threat.
> 
> Don't even get me started about the legions of monkey/fish super soldiers spotted 1000 miles off Valparaiso just last year. Made all the headlines for 1 day, and then _they_ buried it.
> 
> So go ahead fools, throw your life away preparing for your precious _zombies_ - what's next, _vampires_?
> 
> This is reality folks, don't blame me when an alien ship 1 mile wide just happens to surface under your dinghy, while you're caught drunk moored off Grand Bahama cleaning seagull crap off the bow - what'd ya' gonna' do with your meat cleaver then Zombie Boy???
> 
> ...you've been warned.


Here's a present for you:









And here are the instructions on how to assemble your hat: Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

And here is a report showing that tin foil hats are the most effective radar reflectors at a 1/2-mile range (for kayaks anyway): Radar, Reflectors and Sea Kayaks: A Visibility Study


----------



## flyingwelshman

chrisncate said:


> Again, shouldn't we be helping these poor folks? They need brains for sustenance, and it's not their fault - it's just what happens when you become a zombie. It could and should happen to you people. Maybe then you'd acquire some compassion for gods sakes. THEY WERE ONCE HUMAN, LIKE YOU!! Wtf...
> 
> I suppose if we were discussing cute fuzzy cuddly _socially acceptable_ werwolves, you'd all be like "hey, you really went through _so_ much, what with the dodging silver bullets and the hair and all, awww...", but nooo... since it's "disgusting" unacceptable zombies we're talking about, it's a freaking free for all.
> 
> Look in the mirror people (if you still can that is).


 Chrisncate for P.E.T.Z. president!

"Hey! Zombies were people too!"


----------



## flyingwelshman

Bene505 said:


> Which would be better, an old shoe (slower but harder to board) or a modern design (faster but steps right up the back?
> 
> I think we need to institute the Zombie Stability Rating. Anything under a "2" and you are toast.
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


What a great suggestion!

I would recommend that a MacGregor should get the highest ZSR. Here's why:

it can motor at very high speeds to evade zombie attacks










it is easily trailerable so it can be towed behind your armoured Zombie Apocalypse survival vehicle.










if worse comes to worst and you are forced to abandon the vessel, you won't be too broken up about it.


----------



## bljones

oh, hell, no. 

Flyboy, consider the dilemma you have just presented to us:

Here's your choice, you must pick one- Be killed by zombies... or live on a Mac 26M.

Whose side are you on?


----------



## Ajax_MD

Humorous side story:

Every couple of days, I've been dragging my twin, teen-aged daughters down to the boat to help rebed one or two pieces of deck hardware. I need hands to hold a wrench inside the boat while I turn a screw on outside, on deck.

One day, they appeared rather grumpy at me for interrupting their post lunch, pre-midday naptime. I snapped and totally deadpan, said:

"Look, when the zombie apocalypse comes, and we're all stuck living in this thing, I'm not going to put up with water leaking into the cabin every time it rains. I can't be screwing around with re-coring a soggy deck while I'm trying to kill every zombie on Tangier Island so we can re-colonize. The MRE's will get soggy and nasty, and you'll be griping because the food tastes bad!"

_Stunned silence, confused looks back and forth._ "R-Really? Um, how long have you been thinking about this?"

It was pure gold.


----------



## RobGallagher

BubbleheadMd said:


> Humorous side story:
> 
> Every couple of days, I've been dragging my twin, teen-aged daughters down to the boat to help rebed one or two pieces of deck hardware. I need hands to hold a wrench inside the boat while I turn a screw on outside, on deck.
> 
> One day, they appeared rather grumpy at me for interrupting their post lunch, pre-midday naptime. I snapped and totally deadpan, said:
> 
> "Look, when the zombie apocalypse comes, and we're all stuck living in this thing, I'm not going to put up with water leaking into the cabin every time it rains. I can't be screwing around with re-coring a soggy deck while I'm trying to kill every zombie on Tangier Island so we can re-colonize. The MRE's will get soggy and nasty, and you'll be griping because the food tastes bad!"
> 
> _Stunned silence, confused looks back and forth._ "R-Really? Um, how long have you been thinking about this?"
> 
> It was pure gold.


Thanks, you just made my day! RFLMAO


----------



## Bene505

Cross-referencing...

Someone made a good write-up of the sailboat requirements for the "upcoming zombie apocalypse".

The Perfect Boat for the Infected / Zombie Apocalypse
by Bill Ricardi of BillRicardi.com

http://billricardi.wordpress.com/article/the-perfect-boat-for-the-infected-39ezf4j4570al-8/​
Regards,
Brad


----------



## flyingwelshman

Bene505 said:


> Cross-referencing...
> 
> Someone made a good write-up of the sailboat requirements for the "upcoming zombie apocalypse".
> 
> The Perfect Boat for the Infected / Zombie Apocalypse
> by Bill Ricardi of BillRicardi.com
> 
> The Perfect Boat for the Infected / Zombie Apocalypse - billricardi​
> Regards,
> Brad


See? it's the _zeitgeist_!


----------



## bljones

gezundheit.


----------



## Ajax_MD

flyingwelshman said:


> See? it's the _zeitgeist_!


Eh, I agree with most of it but not his choice of boat. Too many of us live in different areas with different conditions. That boat draws way too much to allow free movement within the Chesapeake and requires too much crew.

Love this paragraph though:



> Life Vests: Do you know what really sucks? To outrun a horde of screaming infected, meet up with other survivors, get on the most secure ship you can think of&#8230; and then falling overboard one night and drowning. Drowning sucks. So life jackets (U.K.) seem to be in order. Again, every survivor needs one, and having at least 2 extras around is a plus.


----------



## Bene505

Cross-referencing...

This fiction (?) story from http://www.zombie2012.com/?id=1

*EDIT: I revised this posting after seeing how enjoyable the story is, so you get linked to the beginning of the story, not just the most boat-focused part.*



> Zombies Attack the Base
> 
> Queen Anne 2012-08-22 20:03. Captain: Korben Shaw. From: Nantucket, Massachusetts. Towards: Washington D.C.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> Boston burned. Fingers of smoke spread through the orange haze and over my head and into the night sky. I stood on the boat and looked out over the ocean; put the burning city at my back to find some peace. But I could still hear the zombies let fly their death rattle shrieks as they scoured the streets for fresh meat.
> 
> Four months ago zombies appeared, first in Oklahoma City and then New York, Los Angeles and Boston. I took to the ocean on the boat the Queen Anne to escape both zombies and desperate men. I stayed on the boat and I stayed alive.
> 
> My name is Korben Shaw. I first saw the zombies when they attacked our base at Montauk. I had been called in from the reserves to assist in evacuation and quarantine. Guess we were a little late on that.
> 
> We opened fire on the zombies as they hurled themselves at the perimeter fence but there were too many of them and too few bullets. We couldn't drop them fast enough. They reached the top of the fence and pulled themselves through the razor wire on top of the chain-link to drop one by one onto the grounds.
> 
> I remember a zombie in a white shirt and tie covered in its own blue gore as it climbed over the top of the fence, ripping its body apart to get at me. I blew off its skull with rounds to the head. Another nasty piece of work scrambled up the businessman's back to avoid the razor wire and leapt at me. I stumbled backwards, watched it fall towards me: its face like a grey tumor, with a gaping mouth and sunken green eyes that flashed as they caught the light of weapon's fire. I felt nauseous.
> 
> Will hurled a grenade at the zombie. It caught the grenade as it leapt in mid-air and bit it like an apple before the grenade exploded and blew apart the zombie from head to waist. The explosion sent Will and I into the dirt. My ears rang.
> 
> A second zombie launched itself at Will from off of the fence. I emptied a clip into the thing until it was nothing but head, teeth and torso. It fell on Will's back and sunk its teeth into Will's bald head. Will scalped the zombie with a shot over-the-shoulder. Then he collapsed. I held my position until I ran out of ammunition. Will grabbed my leg and tried to pull himself up off of the ground. Blue veins spidered-out from the bite on Will's head. I saw the whites of his eyes turn green and his pupils bleach. He told me to run.
> 
> Floodlights from the base lit the forest. Zombies leapt over the fence through the spotlight beams. I saw pair after pair of their iridescent cat-eyes catch the light as the climbed over the fence and infiltrated the base en masse. I heard the snap of weapons-fire, together with the sound of men screaming, and this sickening zombie howl that rattled my teeth.
> 
> I ran, eventually finding myself at the main gate, crouched in the shadows. I watched zombies from the forest attack every vehicle that left the base. I guessed that it was the sound of the engines, or the activity, that drew them to the roads. In the end it was an easy choice: dark forest and zombie besieged highway or the open ocean.
> 
> The last time that I saw you, you were at your father's on Nantucket. I could make it there in four or five hours by boat.
> 
> I ran for the boat-house and prayed that I would see you alive again.


Click here for the next section: http://www.zombie2012.com/?id=2

There are some valuable lessons-learned later on in the story, like using a cutlass inside a boat and the importance of excape hatches -- they aren't just for onboard fires.

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Kielanders

flyingwelshman said:


> Here's a present for you:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And here are the instructions on how to assemble your hat: Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
> 
> And here is a report showing that tin foil hats are the most effective radar reflectors at a 1/2-mile range (for kayaks anyway): Radar, Reflectors and Sea Kayaks: A Visibility Study


Thanks..._Agent_ Welshy

You ungrateful old goat. I brought your dam$ thread back from oblivion, Page 3 and falling fast. May you choke on your morning shot of Metamucil.


----------



## Kielanders

chrisncate said:


> Again, shouldn't we be helping these poor folks? They need brains for sustenance, and it's not their fault - it's just what happens when you become a zombie. It could and should happen to you people. Maybe then you'd acquire some compassion for gods sakes. THEY WERE ONCE HUMAN, LIKE YOU!! Wtf...
> 
> I suppose if we were discussing cute fuzzy cuddly _socially acceptable_ werwolves, you'd all be like "hey, you really went through _so_ much, what with the dodging silver bullets and the hair and all, awww...", but nooo... since it's "disgusting" unacceptable zombies we're talking about, it's a freaking free for all.
> 
> Look in the mirror people (if you still can that is).


Oh, that's a lovely purse you have there, it goes so well with with your outfit, and those _cute_ shoes - so dish honey, where _do_ you do your shopping, us girls want to know.

..._zombie lover_

Why don't you and the zombies just get a room? God!


----------



## flyingwelshman

Kielanders said:


> Thanks..._Agent_ Welshy
> 
> You ungrateful old goat. I brought your dam$ thread back from oblivion, Page 3 and falling fast. May you choke on your morning shot of Metamucil.


I thought I was helping a buddy out. I know first hand the consequences of improperly manufactured protective headgear.










Sorry you took it the wrong way.

While I appreciate all contributions to this thread (well, maybe with the exception of that sausagefest that was starting to get going a few pages back....) I think that this thread, like the creatures on which it focuses, will revive on its own when you least expect it.


----------



## Kielanders

flyingwelshman said:


> I thought I was helping a buddy out. I know first hand the consequences of improperly manufactured protective headgear.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry you took it the wrong way.
> 
> While I appreciate all contributions to this thread (well, maybe with the exception of that sausagefest that was starting to get going a few pages back....) I think that this thread, like the creatures on which it focuses, will revive on its own when you least expect it.


Don't get soft on me air-head, channel the anger - the thread is the better for it.


----------



## flyingwelshman

Kielanders said:


> Don't get soft on me air-head, channel the anger - the thread is the better for it.


I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Soft? Look at my steely glare in the picture above! (I'm the one on the right)


----------



## Kielanders

flyingwelshman said:


> I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Soft? Look at my steely glare in the picture above! (I'm the one on the right)


Your helmet makes your head look fat - no man would find you attractive like that.


----------



## flyingwelshman




----------



## Bene505

Is anyone going to get one of these?

Regards,
Brad


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## sneuman

flyingwelshman said:


> What a great suggestion!
> 
> I would recommend that a MacGregor should get the highest ZSR. Here's why:
> 
> it can motor at very high speeds to evade zombie attacks
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> it is easily trailerable so it can be towed behind your armoured Zombie Apocalypse survival vehicle.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> if worse comes to worst and you are forced to abandon the vessel, you won't be too broken up about it.


Gotta love water ballast!


----------



## Bene505

This would be good to get, for when the propane runs out.

SHIPMATE Marine STOVE No 1. Circa 1923. RARE!! Fully marked Stamford CT.& Logo! | eBay

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Squidd

Cool...cept who's going ashore for wood..!!


----------



## bljones

Um, Squidd, I guess you didn't get the memo.
This is awkward.


----------



## flyingwelshman

I found this article that discusses sailing as a means to avoid zombies: Sailing With The ZDN

This was the conclusion: "Sailing, although certainly a bonus during the Zombie Apocalypse, is not a mandatory survivor skill. That is, unless you are a full time zombie defender (and wedding photographer), sailing should be a skill low on your "to get" priority list."

WTF?


----------



## bljones

Clever- get the zombie-preppers off the sailboat scent, and it means less competition for better boats, and more fodder for the horde.


----------



## Bene505

With the season of The Walking Dead over, will this thread go away?

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Ajax_MD

Nope. I'm still prepping. I've scouted no fewer than 4 other Pearson 30's in close proximity to my own to raid for parts and sails when the apocalypse comes.

I'm betting at least a few of these guys are casual day sailors that never make it back to their boats when it happens. I can use their parts to keep my boat working.:laugher


----------



## bljones

Bubbles, you're gonna have to move fast, which means working light, quick and dirty- no hauling around 50 lb. tool boxes to carefully salvage parts. You're gonna need a chainsaw with a shoulder strap, a BFH in a holster and a bandolier with assorted wrenches, wire cutters and screwdrivers slung across your chest. You're gonna look like Sarah Connor and Tim Taylor's love child.


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c

Zombie Cat!


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## justflie

This has to be the best thread of all time. And besides, all you have to do is keep moving on the water. No anchoring. You can fish for food and use a watermaker/some barrels. Until something breaks. Aren't sailboats maintenance free? Whoops.


----------



## MedSailor

It's an.... umm.... flare gun sir.










Apparently they prepared for the Zombies back then too. ;-)

MedSailor

PS. 10 points to the one who knows what the original purpose of this gun was. Hint, it's sailing related and it's NOT a flare gun.


----------



## PaulinVictoria

It's a duckfoot gun, for close quarter shooting against a group of persons, normally when outnumbered (like if you're an officer on a ship under mutiny).


----------



## MedSailor

PaulinVictoria said:


> It's a duckfoot gun, for close quarter shooting against a group of persons, normally when outnumbered (like if you're an officer on a ship under mutiny).


Ding! We have a winner! 10 points awarded!

-5 points if you just looked up the link from the photo and found that out. 

MedSailor


----------



## PaulinVictoria

That would of course been the modern solution to the problem. I just happened to know something for a change 
I saw one on Antiques Roadshow in the UK a few years back, thought it was a stupid idea then too


----------



## CapnBones

bljones said:


> You're gonna need a chainsaw with a shoulder strap, a BFH in a holster and a bandolier with assorted wrenches, wire cutters and screwdrivers slung across your chest.


I don't know about you guys but a BFH in a holster is how I go out of the house, you never know what might need fixed in the course of a day!


----------



## Squidd




----------



## Ajax_MD

You guys do realize that we are inadvertently, and collaberatively writing a super-cool, sci-fi horror story here, right?


----------



## flyingwelshman

*Even Google Earth has got into it:*

Map of the Dead
Zombie Survival Map


----------



## Familycruisers

I've been yelling at the screen for weeks at the people from Walking Dead. " GET YOUR A55 ON A BOAT!!!


----------



## Bene505

Familycruisers said:


> I've been yelling at the screen for weeks at the people from Walking Dead. " GET YOUR A55 ON A BOAT!!!


I ask whoever is in the room, "Why are they driving an old RV with a broken hose. They could go to a dealership and get a brand new one."

Regards,
Brad


----------



## cb32863

I just read the entire thread. Yes, while at work, what else am I supposed to do all day? This is awesome!!! Now to the bar.


----------



## LandLocked66c

I'm STOKED! Bought my license today...


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## bljones

Permits? We don' need no steenkin' permits!


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## larrybme

Bounced through this thread in a couple minutes. Really, a 32 page thread about the tv show "The Walking Dead", right here in CF, I guess I would have had to see an episode or two. What I take from this thread, besides very little, is it's way beyond time to get off the dock, let alone out of the armchair. Doesn't anyone have a sail to mend, teak to oil, a fresh coat of varnish, some lines to whip or something?
Sorry, I just don't get it.
Larry 
Larry


----------



## cb32863

larrybme said:


> Bounced through this thread in a couple minutes. Really, a 32 page thread about the tv show "The Walking Dead", right here in CF, I guess I would have had to see an episode or two. What I take from this thread, besides very little, is it's way beyond time to get off the dock, let alone out of the armchair. Doesn't anyone have a sail to mend, teak to oil, a fresh coat of varnish, some lines to whip or something?
> Sorry, I just don't get it.
> Larry
> Larry


One its SN not CF and two, the thread was started in DECEMBER. Lighten up, folks are just having fun..... Don't make us go all Sgt. Hulka on yeahs..... 

Sense........ Of........ Humor........


----------



## bljones

I don't get why you call yourself Larry Larry, Larry. But just because I don't get it doesn't mean it's bad.


----------



## Familycruisers

LMAO, right here on CF huh? I think there are several reasons ya just dont get it...


----------



## larrybme

Oh they are just so simlar you know, CF, SN, SA just can't remember where I am. Happy to bring humor to a nonhumorous thread though. Happy to bring a smile of laugh any time.
Larry


----------



## Familycruisers

larrybme said:


> Oh they are just so simlar you know, CF, SN, SA just can't remember where I am. Happy to bring humor to a nonhumorous thread though. Happy to bring a smile of laugh any time.
> Larry


That's cool you're entitled to your opinions, as are we. As to CF being anyway similar? This post would have been gone long ago on that over mod'ed forum. That's why us laid back zombie fans hang here.


----------



## flyingwelshman

larrybme said:


> Oh they are just so simlar you know, CF, SN, SA just can't remember where I am. Happy to bring humor to a nonhumorous thread though. Happy to bring a smile of laugh any time.
> Larry


Hey Larry, I know that certain forms of highbrow humour can be confusing for some,









so I apologize for not including a few 'N'yuck, n'yucks' and 'Woo woo woos' for ya.

Here's a remedy:






Enjoy.


----------



## MedSailor

flyingwelshman said:


> Hey Larry, I know that certain forms of highbrow humour can be confusing for some,
> 
> so I apologize for not including a few 'N'yuck, n'yucks' and 'Woo woo woos' for ya.
> 
> Here's a remedy:
> 
> Enjoy.


Hey flyingTaffy!! Don't feed the zombies! Sheesh, they're so infected that they don't even know what forum they're shambling around in.

The only ones who don't take the zombie threat _seriously_ ARE zombies!!! Need proof, the following is from the Cowlitz County (Washington State) Sherrif's office [sic] department of emergency management website.  And it's not even dated April 1.....

Here is the link, because otherwise you'd NEVER believe me:
Cowlitz County Emergency Management: February 2012








_"The last things you need in your zombie supply kit are as follows:

HYGIENE SUPPLIES: towelettes or baby wipes, garbage bags, hand sanitizer and feminine hygiene supplies. Zombies hate cleanliness and sanitary conditions.

TOOLS: Leatherman tool, wrench, foldable shovel, ax&#8230;.you know why.

LOCAL MAPS: If you have to exit your zombie-occupied neighborhood in a hurry, it might be nice to know alternate ways around known infestation areas. Also, learn how to read a map. Consider purchasing a compass. Also, consider learning how to use a compass, if you don't already know.

PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION, GLASSES, DIAPERS, PET FOOD, CASH...anything specific to you and your family that you might need if you had to evacuate quickly or be stuck in your home for an untold amount of time.

Our recommendation is to have two kits. One "STUCK AT HOME" Kit and one "GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE" Kit. The "stuck at home kit" should have plenty of items to keep your family comfortable and safe to stay in your home for a minimum of three days, perhaps without electricity.

The "gotta go" kit should be in a backpack, easily portable and have supplies that you would need to be comfortable and safe away from home. A "gotta go" kit is perfect for keeping in the car. Most people are never far from their vehicle and, in the case of sudden zombie occupation, you can get up and go with your gear already packed. Refuse to be a tasty zombie-snack-get yourself ready TODAY!

Ok, you've learned the basics! Now come check out more preparedness and safety information on Saturday at the Three Rivers Mall. The Zombie Preparedness Fair will be held from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Don't forget to stop by our booth and say hi! Or bring cookies. Whatever."_

MedSailor


----------



## PenobscotBaySailor

An anchor watch when moored should take care of the most likely problem. But, that being said, climbing an anchor line to the deck of your average sailing vessel would confund most able bodied humans much less the uncoordinated undead.


----------



## flyingwelshman

MedSailor said:


> Hey flyingTaffy!! Don't feed the zombies! Sheesh, they're so infected that they don't even know what forum they're shambling around in.
> MedSailor


Yeah, you're right!

I just think this issue is so important I can't think straight when people don't take it as seriously as it deserves.


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## Bene505

PenobscotBaySailor said:


> An anchor watch when moored should take care of the most likely problem. But, that being said, climbing an anchor line to the deck of your average sailing vessel would confund most able bodied humans much less the uncoordinated undead.


To that point, never stern anchor during the Zombie Apocalypse (ZA), especially if you have a swim platform.

These guys would not be safe during a ZA.









I think this guy just read this thread.









Regards,
Brad


----------



## Bene505

Does anyone know where I can get one of those cones that they put on shoreside bird feeders to prevent squirrles from climbing up and eating the bird food?










I'm thinking that I need to put an oversized one on my anchor line during the ZA.









I could also hoist it as a day marker when needed.

This guy just read this thread. He's on the way to the marina.










Regards,
Brad


----------



## LandLocked66c

There should be plenty of these available when the time comes...


----------



## Ajax_MD

ZA Training, people. Get with it.

ZA Training Camp


----------



## flyingwelshman




----------



## cb32863

I am thinking, my personal preference mind you.. 

1). C 
2). A
3). D
4). C
5). If I am not on my boat, I am thinking A... tanks are awesome but use too much fuel.
6). No brainer on this one. D, most definitely D!


----------



## Domknotty

Though i do not claim to be an expert, zombies are a concern. 1st, don't be too causious. If it does happen the sailboat will be the place to be, even with an anchor, simple solution is grease the last 20 foot of chain or rope, I can hardly climb an anchor chain, a mutilated zombie would never make it. More then just the impossibility for enough zombies to rush your anchorage is zombies feed by smell mostly and only use sight when close.If food for them ever got so scarce that they turned to the waters, they would likely smell a motor boat first associating it with food, our silent clean hulls would not attract attention. This brings me to my point. They will come, but sailors should not fear anything from zombies while afloat. Our issue will be food (learn to love fish) and fresh water (we can acquire the motor-heads desalination gear when they fall victim. They would want us to have it anyway.) 

So start stocking and making dry your rice and beans, get some molly lube and rest peaceful knowing your inherent self sufficiency will prevail over the invertible...WWZ.


----------



## apaulo blank

Depending on the intelligence, shouldn't we also be concerned with them dropping from bridges..?


----------



## bljones

Answer Z: All of the above.

Look, you guys are all probably very nice people IRL, and I'm rootin' for ya, but there is a reason why you go bear hunting in pairs...

All I gotta do is outrun you. I can come back later for the hardware you leave behind.


Hey, i just came up with a new bumper sticker:
"A good friend will bail you out of jail. A REAL friend won't leave you behind during ZA.'


I will do neither.


----------



## Bene505

flyingwelshman said:


>


I am thinking, my personal preference mind you..

1). C
2). D (quiet is sometimes essential)
3). B (are you kidding, those things can solve probems before they to close to you.)
4). C (good for tripping them, setting trip lines for alarming, decending things)
5). A if on land (as stated: tanks are awesome but use too much fuel) 
6). D (as stated: No brainer on this one. D, most definitely D!) Assuming some things, like I'm along, and Chuck Norris is busy elsewhere.

Regards,
Brad


----------



## Squidd

Chucky's got it covered...


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## bljones

Check the plates. Me and Flyboy are in the home of cutting edge zombie preparedness.


----------



## captbillc

i thought sailnet was about usefull information. some of you must have a lot of time on your hands with nothing to do.


----------



## LandLocked66c

captbillc said:


> i thought sailnet was about usefull information. some of you must have a lot of time on your hands with nothing to do.


Being prepared is a full time job! I'm happy you took time out of your busy day to learn about the impending apocalypse...


----------



## Squidd

Hot Zombie Hookers.... 

I am so Doomed...


----------



## cb32863

captbillc said:


> i thought sailnet was about usefull information. some of you must have a lot of time on your hands with nothing to do.


What we have is a sense of humor.....


----------



## LandLocked66c

cb32863 said:


> What we have is a sense of humor.....


Speak for yourself! This is serious bizness!


----------



## cb32863

LandLocked66c said:


> Speak for yourself! This is serious bizness!


Do not take me as being light hearted about this. Yes, this is very serious bizness. 

Nice to know who I can trust now too when it hits the fan... (Scratching BL OFF the list. May have to sacrifice Brad/Bene due to conflict in regards to re-population.....) The rest of ya, it shall yet to be seen.......


----------



## bljones

cb32863 said:


> Nice to know who I can trust now too when it hits the fan... (Scratching BL OFF the list. May have to sacrifice Brad/Bene due to conflict in regards to re-population.....) The rest of ya, it shall yet to be seen.......


Damn, that hurts.

Luckily for you, epoxy is not an effective zombie weapon. 

Oh, no, he didn't!
(Oh yeah, I did.)


----------



## cb32863

bljones said:


> Damn, that hurts.
> 
> Luckily for you, epoxy is not an effective zombie weapon.
> 
> Oh, no, he didn't!
> (Oh yeah, I did.)


Hey, YOU were the one that said we were on our own in your neck of the woods.... 

As for epoxy being effective, well the way I mix it, it will always be sticky and not quite set up so you could use it as a Zombie quicksand trap.


----------



## Squidd

One of them sticky "Zombie Hotels" where they check in...but don't check out....

(Great...Hot Zombie Hookers.."and" sticky zombie hotels...I am soooo doomed...







)


----------



## flyingwelshman




----------



## cb32863

Dang, I get Olivia Benson, Scarlett Johansson. Oh and Harry Potter too, damn stripes. Though a wizard would probably come in handy as he could hold off the zombies as I "protect" the ladies...... Kinda like that idea, a lot....


----------



## 06HarleyUltra

I get Nancy Botwin (weeds) and Snoop Dog.... Whoa there..I have to hope the invasion is on 4/20. Thats the only day i'll be safe. At least i'll have Batman by my side...If he and the Dog arn't burning one. 
Ah well.....


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## Skipper Jer

captbillc said:


> i thought sailnet was about usefull information. some of you must have a lot of time on your hands with nothing to do.


I have studied most zombie documentaries, "Day of the Dead", "Dead Snow", the current series on AMC, "Walking Dead" so I consider myself a bit more educated than the average person. I also participate in the online training sessions titled "Left 4 Dead". With this knowledge and skill I can spot a Zombie Denier a mile away. Zombie Deniers are useful as bait and zombie food. When it hits the fan keep your friends close but keep the deniers closer. Hey, better a denier gets bit than you.


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c

It's happening!

Zombie apocalypse advances: Man eats human heart and brain - Boston Top News | Examiner.com

Police shoot naked cannibal during zombie attack in Miami - Denver Zombie | Examiner.com


----------



## bljones

It is starting to get a little freaky.

Luka Rocco Magnotta and the making of a


----------



## cb32863

LandLocked66c said:


> It's happening!
> 
> Zombie apocalypse advances: Man eats human heart and brain - Boston Top News | Examiner.com
> 
> Police shoot naked cannibal during zombie attack in Miami - Denver Zombie | Examiner.com


Was thinking the same thing. Maintenance schedule will definitely have to be stepped up......


----------



## bljones

See? I TOLD you to get the boat in the water and do the maintenance on the mooring.
In fact, phuque maintenance... buy ammo.


----------



## Familycruisers

I'll meet ya'll in the middle, of... wherever I am when this crap really goes south!


----------



## MattSplatt

*My face hurts*

I missed this thread until now. Boy was I missing out!

Mr. Jones, This is the funniest bloody thing I have read in a long time! The people around me are wondering what's wrong with me. :-D



bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


----------



## flyingwelshman

It's coming people!
I'm telling you!
Stock up and launch!


----------



## Bene505

There's propably a thread on an RV Forum titled "Would an RV be a good place to be during a zombie attack?"

I'm almost tempted to go over and start one.

Regards,
Brad


----------



## flyingwelshman




----------



## Ajax_MD

Bene505 said:


> There's propably a thread on an RV Forum titled "Would an RV be a good place to be during a zombie attack?"
> 
> I'm almost tempted to go over and start one.
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


Do it. It's a good distraction. We can't have everyone trying to escape on sailboats when it happens.


----------



## antonis777

u can call chuck norris to kill zombies!


----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## LandLocked66c




----------



## cb32863

Its happened again. LINK.

My theory is that eventually the folks who take this on a regular basis, their brains will get "mutated", and they will just stay this way and then it it will become biological and able to pass between us normal folks in the traditional Zombie Bite. Don't make me say "Told ya so"....


----------



## flyingwelshman




----------



## Skipper Jer

The only way to mimic a zombie is to smell like a zombie, to do that you got to smear decaying flesh and goo onto yourself. Zombies have good hearing and a good sense of smell. So stand still and stink real good, you might just make it out in one piece.


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## Jetexas

I don't think Hollywood has ever fully understood zombie physiology and behavior. To me, it seems like the most-likely cause of zombieism would be a virus infecting cells and taking over the nervous system. The virus, which is using the host cells to replicate as quickly as possible in the brain is able to utilize the central nervous system to move the muscles, creating an ambulatory biting machine with the one purpose of spreading the virus.

The more bites the better chance of infecting another host, but I don't see why they would actually eat people. The GI tract wouldn't be working. Blood wouldn't be circulating. Respiration wouldn't be occuring. Food isn't neccesary. The virus would just replicate as fast as possible and try to infect as many new cells as possible -- as viruses do.


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## bljones

Well, while you're standing there proving out your hypothesis of a virus propelled Pac-man, jet, I hope you don't mind if I sail off into the sunset. I'm all for science, but I'm thinking we can worry about the "why" and the "how" later. I'd rather do an autopsy in a lab than observe in the wild.
Gill Grissom is alive. Steve Irwin isn't.


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## cb32863

Because we all need to lighten up a bit around here lately...

New car


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## LandLocked66c




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## Bene505

*"The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department.*

"The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department.

This was posted on AP news, here:
News from The Associated Press









This image released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows a public service poster on Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic. "The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department. Tongue firmly in cheek, the U.S. government urged citizens Thursday, Sept. 6, 2012, to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies. The theory: If you're prepared for a zombie attack, the same preparations will help you during a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack. (AP Photo/ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

Regards,
Brad


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## MedSailor

*Re: "The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department.*



Bene505 said:


> "The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department.
> 
> This was posted on AP news, here:
> News from The Associated Press
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This image released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows a public service poster on Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic. "The zombies are coming!" says the Homeland Security Department. Tongue firmly in cheek, the U.S. government urged citizens Thursday, Sept. 6, 2012, to prepare for a zombie apocalypse, part of a public health campaign to encourage better preparation for genuine disasters and emergencies. The theory: If you're prepared for a zombie attack, the same preparations will help you during a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake or terrorist attack. (AP Photo/ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
> 
> Regards,
> Brad


For a stuffy government agency, the CDC has just gone up several notches in my book!

MedSailor


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## Brewgyver

flyingwelshman said:


> See? Now here is a thought-provoking answer.
> 
> So I guess we have to establish what caused the zombification. If it was some kind of vague industrial accident caused by socially irresponsible, corrupt and greedy business people then we would probably be pretty safe anchored just off-shore - then stealing into urban centres to scavenge our supplies from abandoned WalMarts etc.
> (snip)


Dude, the zombies NEVER abandon the WalMarts!
walmartians 2012 - Bing Images


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## Ferretchaser

What do zombies taste like and does anyone here have some good recipes ????


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## thedudeistoocool

I have recipes for :
Chilled Zombie Brain
Zombie Pate
Chicken-fried Zombie
Beer Can Zombie
I once had a recipe for Dessert Chocolate Zombie Cake but it got left out in the rain and I'll never have that recipe again.

The problem isn't really cooking them so much as it is cleaning them. The prep work is very important and the meat can be quite gamey so be sure to either wrap it in bacon or find a marinade that you enjoy.


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## flyingwelshman

Tomorrow is Hallowe'en.
Here's a little something to think about:


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## MedSailor

MedSailor


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## Capt Len

If the meat is too gamey you can marinate the steaks in beer. Works for road kill dear.


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## MedSailor

*Happy Halloween!!!*

Below is the best zombie costume in the history of the world (and future).









MedSailor


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## flyingwelshman




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## MedSailor

Happy one year birthday zombie thread!










MedSailor


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## Slayer

If you want to use the Zombies first you must disarm them, and also remove their lower jaws so they can't bite.

Google Image Result for http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rMk4lf5WYa4/T2xGeAUFIVI/AAAAAAAAAhM/YSftBxJEcZ8/s1600/Michonne_the_walking_dead.jpg


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## flyingwelshman

*

*WARNING: do not use flare gun to activate Certified Zombie Ammunition!

Wouldn't be much of a zombie thread if it didn't keep coming back to life when you least expect it.


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## jimgo

Wow, talk about a zombie thread!


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## Skipper Jer

OMG, run, someone woke up the zombie thread.


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## OPossumTX

flyingwelshman said:


> in case of a zombie attack?
> 
> Can zombies even swim?


Do any of us really want to go there?

I suggest that everyone avoid Caribbean islands where the local witch doctors are making compounds of puffer fish guts. That should be an effective way to avoid zombification.

Should one fail in avoiding said practitioners of primitive pharmacology, one might one day awaken to find oneself a slave on a sugar plantation in the out back of nowhere!

Have FUN!
O'


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## krisscross

flyingwelshman said:


> *


That reminds me... as soon as 00Buck is in stock again at a reasonable price, I need to stock up.
Although for zombies I prefer to use the 12 ga bolo-rounds... no need to double tap. Shooting a "bolo" from a 12 gauge! (piano wire) - YouTube


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## dvuyxx

One common mistake when fleeing zombies by water is to use zombie flesh as bait to catch fish. Not a good idea. That just creates zombie fish and terrible post dinner indigestion.


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## jephotog

Irrelevant of whether it is the best way to survive a zombie attack: If the majority of the population tuned into zombies but I did not I would finally be able to afford, I mean get my dream boat.


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## bljones

jephotog said:


> Irrelevant of whether it is the best way to survive a zombie attack: If the majority of the population tuned into zombies but I did not I would finally be able to afford, I mean get my dream boat.


Oh, this post just gave me an image sure to strike fear in the heart of any sailor, possibly the only unstoppable force...
"zombie brokers"
They never really do anything, but they just. don't. stop.


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## flyingwelshman

bljones said:


> Oh, this post just gave me an image sure to strike fear in the heart of any sailor, possibly the only unstoppable force...
> "zombie brokers"
> They never really do anything, but they just. don't. stop.


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## jephotog

bljones said:


> Oh, this post just gave me an image sure to strike fear in the heart of any sailor, possibly the only unstoppable force...
> "zombie brokers"
> They never really do anything, but they just. don't. stop.


The beauty of the post appocolyptic zombie times is, I am allowed to hit zombie brokers in the head with a shovel and grab whichever boat I want without paying a commission.

I am stuck between the Inland Packet 460 and 485 though.


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## bljones

Keep in mind, if the owner lacks the resourcefulness, forethought and preparedness to avoid succumbing to the horde, one has to ask whether his is the boat you want to stake your life on, when the undead poop hits the paddles?


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## Ajax_MD

Still a Sailnet quality gem:



bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


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## bljones

jephotog said:


> Inland Packet 460 and 485


It's cool when a typo actually increases accuracy.


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## Stuff4Toys

Deleted


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## sailorboy15

I think the real question is where can I buy some canons to stop the zombie pirates? Maby I should get one of those fancy extendable bowsprits for ramming?


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## Kielanders

For God's sake people, give it the 'f' up, the Zombie War is long over - it was fought in the year 2011/2012 - the only ones left to post here are already...


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## rgscpat

Centuries of grinding poverty and disease, corrupt exploitative depots, natural disasters, armed strife, and the resulting distrust of authority and outsiders, have perpetuated a culture in which some Haitians give credence to superstitions and folklore that maintain the power of voodoo practitioners, including a small, secretive fringe of bad boko who perpetuate the zombie (zonbi) belief and might still be practicing zombification. But their unfortunate victims, if they exist these days, are not to be feared, and are nothing like the Hollywood image. 

Do you think people in the US or other first-world countries would ever become sufficiently impoverished, ignorant, superstitious, powerless, numbed or drugged, and fearful enough to believe in our equivalent of voodoo witch doctors and give up reason, logic, and science to surrender their free will and be controlled by the American equivalent of the evil boko?


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## AlaskaMC

Kielanders said:


> For God's sake people, give it the 'f' up, the Zombie War is long over - it was fought in the year 2011/2012 - the only ones left to post here are already...


And I want to personally thank you for bringing this zombie post back from the grave. Happy Thanksgiving!


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## OPossumTX

I was told that the zombies would appear just after the trucks and trains stopped bringing food to the cities. 

I have never seen them for real but New Orleans after Katrina might be a good approximation of the Z.A. (Zombie Apocalypse).


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## austintoday

I'm not into zombies but they surely are creepy!!


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## Kielanders

AlaskaMC said:


> And I want to personally thank you for bringing this zombie post back from the grave. Happy Thanksgiving!


Happy to oblige, I'd of done it earlier, but I've been pretty drunk the past year or so.

I love the thought of making 'Old Man Welshy' smile, while he stands on the porch of his thread shaking his cane at the rest of us.

Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.


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## austintoday

DRFerron said:


> Admittedly, I know almost nothing about zombies except that they aren't living in the generally accepted definition of the term. But perhaps it's possible to round them up and train them to go after the Somali pirates? Why not use their unique skills to our advantage?
> 
> Perhaps each boat could have its own zombie security. I imagine there would be a few things to overcome in order to make it work, but why not?


If thats the case then zombie has a great potential for security reason and would be a great help! 

~Austin~


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## bljones

rgscpat said:


> Do you think people in the US or other first-world countries would ever become sufficiently impoverished, ignorant, superstitious, powerless, numbed or drugged, and fearful enough to believe in our equivalent of voodoo witch doctors and give up reason, logic, and science to surrender their free will and be controlled by the American equivalent of the evil boko?


Dude, have you ever met a truther?


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## rgscpat

Zombie Jamboree, Rockapella (also can find versions by Kingston Trio, Harry Belafonte)
"Well, now, back to back, belly to belly, well, I don't give a damn 'cause I'm stone dead already..."


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## SimonV

Zombies are real, and among us they just don't realize it yet. Next time you are in line at the supermarket, just look around at the faces with thier vacant looks, standing there holding on to their shopping trolleys. .....AND I BET YOU DO.


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## titustiger27

I think there is a book and several articles about how really Zombies don't have a chance in a world of scavengers --- that is crows and vultures would be feasting on the slow moving buffet, and any ocean predator would also be devouring the dead

Hungry Animals Would Take Down a Zombie Invasion | Smart News

which is before HSBC gets a chance to repackage them as derivatives and sell them to drug cartels


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## Bene505

Bump hahahahaha


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## flyingwelshman

This actually has implications for boaters:







Sorry....


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## Boasun

Well John Ringo has started a series about the Z.A.. The first two books are really interesting and does set up a passible senario.
1. Under a graveyard sky.
2. To sail a darkling sea.
Now waiting for the third book in the series...which should be out in late August.
To think that some genius who is stupid enough to develop a zombie causing virus and spread through air fresheners in public bath rooms.
That is the primus(sp?) of the first book. And the only survivors are living on boats at sea. 
You will laugh at their views on the M-4 weapon. It is designed to only piss off your enemies and before the Viet Nam war the weapons used killed people. Actually from the AR-15 to the M-4 the idea was to wound the enemy. Yes I was there and elected to carry an M-14 plus operate a Ma-duce BMG. And being brown Water Navy, I rode the water ways of that country and didn't have to go for long walks in the country.


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## MedSailor

flyingwelshman said:


> This actually has implications for boaters:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry....


That, my friend, was the best 1:42 seconds of time I've spent in recent memory. :laugher

MedSailor


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## christian.hess

ajajaajaja! man


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## vega1860

I see I have picked the perfect time to revisit this thread


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## nighthawk

flyingwelshman said:


> This actually has implications for boaters:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry....


Well, now! That didn't go where I expected it to at all. Glad the zombie thread is revived again tho! HEHEHEHE:gunner


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## Kielanders

Newbie here with a few quick questions.

Would a solo non-stop unassisted circumnavigation on a sailboat be a good way to avoid the zombies?

If so, I'm pretty sure I want to use this approach.

Followup Questions:

What's a zombie?
What's a sailboat?
What's a circumnavigation?

Thanks in advance for your help.


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## Bene505

Regards,
Brad


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## christian.hess

is it me or was the title of the movie misleading?

jejeje


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## miatapaul

flyingwelshman said:


> This actually has implications for boaters:
> 
> [MEDIA=youtube]7onFrBK_hKE[/MEDIA]
> 
> Sorry....


Feel sorry for anyone in a wood boat when they are around! Love the guy who throws his own foot!

Sent from my ADR6425LVW using Tapatalk


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## oysterman23

So how do you Know itsa friendly 
???????????

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk


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## Ajax_MD

bljones said:


> Personally, I do NOT want a weapon that is two-stroke powered with a pull-start when I've got a zombie infestation.
> *flick*
> *prime*
> *pbbbtth*
> *prime again*
> *pbbbttthhh*
> *pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbthh pbbbttthhh ppppbbbbttthhh...*
> *pant, pant, pant*
> *Open Choke*
> *pppbbbtthhhh...ring. RING-DING-DING-DINGGGGGG!!!!!!!*
> *Close choke*
> *DINGGGGGG!!!!!!...ack.*
> *pbbbbthh*


Wow, can you believe this little gem is 5 years old? I'm still laughing about it.

I haven't seen much of BL lately. Anyone?


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## Donna_F

Ajax_MD said:


> ...
> I haven't seen much of BL lately. Anyone?


He's all over Facebook.


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