# Sailing with 2 children on Chesapeake Bay Northern Neck



## patrscoe (May 9, 2011)

This year has been a little bit of a struggle making sure our two children are having fun while sailing, especially my 8 yr old daughter. My 10 yr old son is better, especially when we find a nice place to anchor on the way back to our marina, open up the lifeline gate and our sailboat is now a large swimming and cannonball platform. But my daughter is all about having fun with other girls and is struggling to see any fun in sailing or the adventure of being on the water. Unfortunately there are not too many families within our marina so we end up inviting non-sailing families to our sailboat. Nice at times, but it's a lot of work hosting additional kids and adults, and sailing the entire boat with people standing on the sheets and control lines, always in the way of sight....especially when docking or when you have many boats heading towards you or to your side, etc.... I think you get the point. 

I am wondering what others do at this point. Keeping their interest in sailing and most of important, having fun. 
I am trying to come up with a list of children friendly activities and then try them out.

To start my list:
1. We drag a power boat tube behind our sailboat and tow our two kids in the tube, bring up the tube to the stern, give them lunch and set them back again. 
2. Read a book aloud within the evening
3. I have heard some turning their cockpit into a wading pool but not sure if that is a good idea....
4. Dinghy to shore and build stone piles before we leave. 
5. My son likes to navigate / steer at the helm. He is actually getting good, like a human autopilot. Holds course on a close haul well. Just if his attention span was a little bit longer...
6. Thinking of creating a elevated chair over the water some how with our bosun chair. I really don't use it as I use a climbing harness so I figure I would try to use it for something. Just trying to figure out a safe means and method...

Creating destinations to unique places is difficult as they can backfire. Sailing to a fun place but it's going to take you 8 hours to get there, well, they become extremely bored and on the 6th hour, wondering why it's taking forever...

Any ideas, concepts or proven children fun activities that will guarantee to make them the next Dennis Connors or at least good memories?


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## bljones (Oct 13, 2008)

a full day underway can be a lot to expect of a pre-teens. sail for an hour, swim, sail for an hour dragging the tube, eat, and maybe instead of inviting whole families to go sailing, ask her to bring one friend.
Let them have the dinghy to explore , within eyeball range.
.


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## jimgo (Sep 12, 2011)

I have 2 boys, 7 and 5. We tend to keep our (the adults) expectations low as far as sailing duration. 3 hours is about the longest I can expect to go before my boys get antsy and want to go back to the dock. We bring along games, books, puzzles, coloring books, etc., which helps. Toward the end of last season, we "discovered" the joy of swimming off the boat, and I think that holds the most promise for extending our day. My new plan is to sail for an hour or so, anchor, let the boys swim, sail some more, then take the dinghy to the beach. Hang out at the beach for a while, then sail back to the slip. That should just about kill a full day, get me some of the "on the water" time I so desperately crave, give my boys a chance to burn off some energy, and give my wife some quiet time on the beach.


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## TomMaine (Dec 21, 2010)

At that age, beaches were our best friends with our son and daughter. 2 or 3 hours of sailing was a good break after a half day at a beach. 

One friend is a good idea too.


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## chuck53 (Oct 13, 2009)

Are you at Kinsale Harbor or Port Kinsale? Move over to Olverson's...a fair number of kids there. In fact, a lot more people to socialize with.


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## T37Chef (Oct 9, 2006)

I just lock them in the head and turn up the radio, seems to work well! 

We had taken a break from sailing for two seasons and are now just getting back into the routine, in fact this past holiday weekend was our first real multi day trip in three years. With the need to finish up some major boat projects this Spring we were really only taking short day trips then coming back to the marina. It has taken some time to get back into the swing of things but the kids (and us for that matter) seem to be all good again.

I think your list is good, you could add to that 
-a bird book for identification
-cooking
-fishing
-drawing
-writing, either their won stories or have them make their own "ships log" or diary of sorts, I have started doing this year and they love it, they record the weather, destination, and brief summary of what they did, what we ate, etc

Once anchored our kids really enjoy dingy rides (with nav lights on at night of course LOL) and beach combing. A trip to the nearest ice cream store is always well received  

Soon I would like to get them into a kayak, I think my oldest (8) would really enjoy it, the dingy is not the easiest to row which she like to do. At the club I plan to bring down our plywood sailing dingy for them to use in the creek. 

When they were younger we had a DVD player on board and it was very useful on rainy days or longer sails of 6 hrs or more, but it died and dont plan to replace it, I could always let them watch a movie on the smart phone as a last resort. They get a kick out of the Google Sky App at night, sheet I do too! 

I am encouraging them both to invite one friend at a time out for a weekend, that should be interesting. 

All in all, considering how busy their and our work weeks can be most of the time, I think we all enjoy just getting away from the TV, phones and most of all other people and just having some good family time. We rarely raft up with others, we mostly prefer to get away from all the crazy's. They seem to enjoy the down time too as they get older. 

Hope that helps a little.


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## engineer_sailor (Aug 27, 2011)

We sail with two kids ages 3 and 1 out of Rock Creek. Both still take at least one nap so we work day sailing around nap time usually leaving the dock by 11:30AM and sailing until around 4-5PM with a 2-3 hour nap in between. Nice break for everyone bookend by some sailing exposure for the kids pre/post nap. We are stocked with toys (fun in the v-berth), kids binoculars for helping Dad spot crab pots, and and iPad for rainy day movies. We usually do overnight trips and carry a kayak on deck to explore or reach the beaches. We've been hunting for reachable anchorages with little beaches nearby. We also usually make an effort to mix in fun activities like getting ice cream or some other special activity ashore or even on the way home after we dock. The positive association is helpful. The kids also love swimming off the boat while anchored. We keep a collapsible bin that we fill with water in the cockpit for the 1 year old. Plugging the scuppers is a pain. 

Speculating here but some activities for older kids might be:
-Scavenger hunt
-Maybe incorporate a school project (say for science class)
- A friend aboard with a fun stop (maybe a dinner out where you pull up at the dock)
- Anchor out with ghost stories and marshmallow roasting 
- Stop in Baltimore at the free dock and hang in Fells point


Would love to hear other great ideas for the coming years


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

*Treading lightly here, not trying to sound authoritative. it's " my opinion *

Patrick, Maybe some sort of "your off course" buzzer would keep your son's attention a bit longer? Is your daughter really not interested? Just saying,

Girls learn real quick to not assert what they really want/like/wish when males are present. Yes even because of Daddy!

Just wondering (I don't know your real world situation) Would your daughter be mirroring the Admiral's or another females interest or non interest in the boat and sailing? It seems many SOs and Spouses have detached "interest"

Involvement, Involvement, Involvement, is the only way to get kids interested in sailing. (or anything) imho The kids should/could be Crew members  Imagine the kids bragging to other kids "My mom and dad trust me so much; I can even drop the anchor/tie off/ sail/ steer our big boat when we find a place to swim/fish/play!" Mom could let son or daughter take turns in the galley too. Mom & Dad need to be acutely aware that anything they say, even offhandedly, can have disastrous results. "Daddy can I steer?" she may ask... how will daddy answer? More over, will Mom yell at her (and not at the son) because "girls don't do things like that" Mom and Dad should also realize that when the kids are with them on the boat; It's Kid time.. not Dad's Mom's or parents time. (imho)

Hmmmm....
"Took my son fishing.. I paddled the canoe while he fished" My daughter made dinner .. She didn't make the dinner I told her to make, she planned the whole thing" My daughter can't sail? My son can't cook? "

"No" is the most damaging word Parents can use with children. (imho)

Value given to Children's words and deeds is so overlooked by adults.

"Let's drop the anchor here kids! Please look around remember what a good anchorage should have?"

Yes, kids can read charts.. especially if they are on a computer...

Oh.. then there is sibling rivalry ... (another discussion!)


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## T37Chef (Oct 9, 2006)

Denise, you just gave me some more good ideas...kids are picking our next anchorage


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

I've had a few kids as young as ten in our USCG Aux boating safety course. They stuck it out for the entire 9 weeks and did great on the 130-question test (and some did better than mom and dad). I don't know that the parents expected much out of them other than the exposure to boating safety and doing something together as a family, but it was a joy to have them.

On the other hand, I put my then-13 YO niece through the course and after it was done her response was "Can't I just pay one of my friends to do all the sailing work?" Although she was really interested in the navigation and chart plotting section despite doing her best to play down said interest.


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

Thanks Shawn! Y'all may remember "lost in space" it was of course bad TV at best .. but the family dynamic as "crew" was very well portrayed. 

One thing I know.. wish big chart plotter and a kid to read it! talk about computer games.


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

Interesting family! S/V Totem - a family sailing the world


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## patrscoe (May 9, 2011)

Thank you for all your input and advice. Reading through all the comments, I think there is value in every single response that I can use moving forward.

Denise: speaking with my wife, you appear to be correct on a few points regarding my daughter. Although I thought I did but apparently I don't involve my daughter with sailing activities as much as my son. Perhaps I see a little of myself in my son. When I was 10 yrs old, I grew up no Lake Ontario in Oswego, NY. Typical summer was that you woke up, ate breakfast and then my mom said, go outside, enjoy summer and don't come back inside until supper. So I either spent my day sailing my beat up dinghy, fishing on the lake or creeks or just swimming and floating (on a tube) in the lake for the entire day, you couldn't drag me away from the water. 
I am going to plan on getting her much more involved and ask for her input, and see how that goes. 

Shawn: you are so right, days are busy with work and everything else in our lives. Getting away from the TV, phones, school camps, office and most of all other people and just having some good family time is what we want. Everyone needs some down time, even our kids. My problem is that of late, going sailing is more of a tasks with objectives then family time. Starting off by doing some projects in the hot morning from 9am to 12pm, heading out for a sail from 12pm to 4pm, dock up, clean up and wash down, etc.... another words, making sailing more like our everyday life when it is getting away from this task oriented day what we really want and enjoying sailing and family time. 

So some basic highlites for moving forward:

- Much more kid involvement and more kid time! 
- Enjoy the downtime and getting away from the day to day activities of life, and don't turn sailing with the kids a firm schedule of must do activities and tasks.
- Separate working on extensive sailboat projects from having the kids out at the Marina. 
- Less acceptance of electronics on the sailboat including my son's handheld video game, DVD / TV, iPad, etc... Use only as needed, rainy days or extensive downtime.
- Together with the kids, develop some a list of family activities that everyone will enjoy.
- Separate aggressive sailing / pushing the sailboat from "family sailing". Thus, don't always try to get the optimum speed when sailing with the kids. Less heeling so that it is more enjoyable for them and my wife.

Thanks, I think this will help!


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## paperbird (Sep 1, 2011)

Patrick,

You're accumulating some great wisdom! A couple more tidbits to throw into the mix:

- learn each kid. Our daughter loved to curl up and read. Our son built elaborate spiderwebs all over the cabin using various lines. We had to be OK with both

- definitely let kids have a major voice in destinations, pace, activities. Although at one point I'm guessing over half of our trips were short ones to the same beach. Then swimming ashore and playing the same games. Their choice and they always wanted to go. Be ready for out-of-the-box ideas (like one of them suggesting we turn the boom sideways and use it as a diving board. Mom had to swallow hard on that one, but it was great fun)

- add an element of continuity. Always sample ice cream shops (or whatever) Have lengthy debates about which is best. Be willing to sail back to places to 'prove' it.

- Pick games that everyone can play. Read books aloud taking turns. 

- trust them. For us, it all culminated in an offshore family trip with each kid paired up with a parent to stand a watch. They maintained the DR plot on the chart, entered the log data, took their turn on the wheel, etc. And did fantastic. The only mistake we made was after a couple days we decided to 'give the kids the night off' and let them sleep. They were furious. It was their watch and they wanted to stand it. Shame on us!

Take it slow. Talk a lot. Learn from them and be prepared to be amazed by them.


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## pdqaltair (Nov 14, 2008)

* Pick kid-friendly destinations, and then consider staying a few days. Tangier Island is made for kids, particularly if they like scooters or bikes. Lots of beaches to explore, marshes, and crabs to catch. Adult "destinations" can be a complete bore to kids.
* Calvert cliffs might make a kid-friendly day trip.
* Don't hesitate to motor if you need to to get somewhere they will like. You can drift some other day.
* Take a mini-aquarium for stuff you find. Lotsa fun.

This includes some good kid spots in mid/south Bay.
Sail Delmarva: Trip Report - 2009 Delmarva Circumnavigation.

I started taking long (5-15 day) trips in a small boat (Stiletto 27 cat) with my daughter when she was 10. The trick was to go to lots of beaches and pick kid destinations; if she was smiling, I was smiling. Fortunately, she was the same sort of "kid" I was.


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## jimgo (Sep 12, 2011)

Patrick, it's tough, but you might make a list of the projects that are outstanding. Identify the ones you NEED to get done for safety purposes, and plan on them for every other visit. The rest can/should be put off until the fall/winter. That will take the pressure off.


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## T37Chef (Oct 9, 2006)

Patrick, I know to well the trials and tribulations of boat projects...I have acquired some big ones lately and still have more. We moved this year from a working marina to a yacht club with some amenities for one major reason, a better place for the kids. I am very pleased with our move, the pool in itself was a good reason. If I want to tinker on the boat the kids and admiral are absolutely fine with hanging out at the pool until I am done futzing


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

T37Chef said:


> I just lock them in the head and turn up the radio, seems to work well!
> 
> We had taken a break from sailing for two seasons and are now just getting back into the routine, in fact this past holiday weekend was our first real multi day trip in three years. With the need to finish up some major boat projects this Spring we were really only taking short day trips then coming back to the marina. It has taken some time to get back into the swing of things but the kids (and us for that matter) seem to be all good again.
> 
> ...


This will be interesting you pulling away from the dock with a shipload of girls.LOL

You girls are some of the best kids I have every known. You both encourage their curiosity with the things outside them and also encourage them to explore. It also helps they are friends together. Keep doing whatever you are doing

BTW when I don't see them now and the tunes are turned up...I know to rescue them from the head where you locked them up.:laugher:laugher


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## Sal Paradise (Sep 14, 2012)

Put a playstation and a flat screen monitor in the cabin.

Problem solved.


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