# Sailing with a 4 year-old



## jfhervy

Would you go sailing with a 4 year-old?

My wife agreed that I could buy a boat ONLY if I can get 9 sailors to answer "yes" to this question.

I sail on San Francisco Bay and plan on buying a 27 to 30 ft to take the family cruising.


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## smackdaddy

Yep. We started sailing when the youngest was 4 and the oldest was 7. They loved the v-berth...and now love sailing 3 years later.


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## svHyLyte

Our daughter began sailing with us when she was 6 weeks old, both weekends and on our bi-annual cruises, and pretty much continued that until age 18. When she was 16, she and a group of 7 other teens and two instructors sailed a Beneteau 53 from St. Maarten to Trinidad over a period of 5 weeks. Upon returning home she declared she liked our boat much better! (She and her mother routinely handle our First 42 quite well).

Go for it. With a few reasonable safety precautions; and, tailoring your schedule and cruises to the needs of your wife and daughter, you'll do fine and it will give you great memories to draw upon when you're an old guy.

FWIW...


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## Maine Sail

jfhervy said:


> Would you go sailing with a 4 year-old?
> 
> My wife agreed that I could buy a boat ONLY if I can get 9 sailors to answer "yes" to this question.
> 
> I sail on San Francisco Bay and plan on buying a 27 to 30 ft to take the family cruising.


We've been sailing with our daughter since she was an infant.. She's now four and is a seasoned pro. I grew up the same way, on boats before I could walk or talk..

Feel free to show your wife this:

*Adventures With Zozo (LINK)*


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## CaptainForce

Both of our children were cruising with us from infancy until they left as young adults. When they were very young we always assigned which adult was on child watch; we kept to rules about their boundries while under sail and when life jackets were required. I think the moving running rigging is the greatest risk and need to set boundries, but the answer from my wife and I is yes. We didn't choose to cruise with our children for the purpose of developing a close family bond, but it was a bonus and without regrets. Take care and joy, Aythya crew


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## jfhervy

Seems that you all have wifes that are into sailing. I'm hopping mine will get there and that it will become a "family activity" (note that we also have a 2 year old). Until then, I may have to singlehand and/or go with friends.

Would you singlehand with a 4 yo?
I think this is OK since he would be tethered to the boat and we would be cruising...not racing. Thoughts?


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## estopa

jfhervy said:


> Seems that you all have wifes that are into sailing. I'm hopping mine will get there and that it will become a "family activity" (note that we also have a 2 year old). Until then, I may have to singlehand and/or go with friends.
> 
> Would you singlehand with a 4 yo?
> I think this is OK since he would be tethered to the boat and we would be cruising...not racing. Thoughts?


This past season was my first on my own boat and took my 5yr old out all the time. Just have him/her tethered when in the cockpit and wear life vest at all times. He had a blast, although he is more into the destination vs the journey aspect. He loved gunkholing a lot. Enjoy!!!


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## tommays

I would say that SF bay plays a bit rougher than most areas that being said my kids went sailing on the J24 before they and after they could walk 

I have always found the bigger issue to be how comfy the wife is with sailing as if she has fear the kids will have fear 

To this day my now 23 and 26 year old children will NOT go on a race with my wife on board


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## CaptainForce

jfhervy said:


> Seems that you all have wifes that are into sailing. I'm hopping mine will get there..............


My wife wasn't "into" sailing in 1969 when we met, but by 1973 she was captaining all female crew racing teams. There's much room for adapting! 
Take care and joy, Aythya crew


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## UrbanChicago

My son has been sailing on Lake Michigan since he was 10 months old. We have a few rules though:
1) Supervised by an adult with absolutely no other responsibility on the boat
2) In a comfortable life jack anytime they are on deck
3) We keep the boat speed under 5 knots anytime he is on board

Kids love boats!


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## pdqaltair

Sailing with a 4-year old? Yes, my daughter has come on most trips since she was born. 

Can you think of anything (lets stay on-thread) more fun than taking a 4-year-old to small beaches? That is the main thing with kids; they enjoy the exploring more than the the hours of sailing.

Single handing with a small child? Depends on the child to some extent, but I did it many times. As stated above, tethers are a must. Set the example by wearing one too and it's no problem; the child will see it as part of being a "big" sailor.

Like adults, children are all different. Keep it light and keep it safe.


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## Minnewaska

Did you officially get your 9? Add my yes to your stack.

They make and sell toddler size PFDs for this reason. Just get one that fits very well or wearing it becomes a problem. You all might have to wear one to make it work.


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## tweitz

Bought our first boat when our middle daughter was 6 weeks old. All of our kids went sailing throughout their lives. Now our grandchilren have their turn. Our first, our one grandson, went sailing at 6 weeks; each of our other three have gone sailing as infants. Our grandson will be 4 this summer and talks about sailing a lot. To be sure, the infants are easier than the toddlers and bigger kids; they are required to wear lifejackets and we pay close attention. We also usually do shorter sails and sail quite conservatively when they are aboard. BUt they learn to sail and learn to love it and are quite safe.


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## sausagebarn

One thing to consider is your wifes ability to handle the boat in your absence. I have been sailing with my wife and 3 kids (all under the age of 7) for a while when it dawned on me that my wife had never really learned to sail. If I went o/b she would have her hands full. I have been giving her basic lessons over the last few years but this year she decided to enroll in some more intensive classes b/c when we are on the boat she has to devote too much attention to the kids.


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## pdqaltair

sausagebarn said:


> One thing to consider is your wifes ability to handle the boat in your absence. I have been sailing with my wife and 3 kids (all under the age of 7) for a while when it dawned on me that my wife had never really learned to sail. If I went o/b she would have her hands full. I have been giving her basic lessons over the last few years but this year she decided to enroll in some more intensive classes b/c when we are on the boat she has to devote too much attention to the kids.


I don't intend for this to be a wise crack....

Don't fall off. If it were a 1,000-foot cliff, would you allow yourself to fall off? No. Mid-ocean? No. Wear a harness, to set the example, and don't fall off.

Also, sailing kids MUST learn that their may be times when they need to do EXACTLY as told without question. This voice must be reserved only for safety matters and NEVER wasted on misbehavior, no matter how severe. The two must be separated. At 4 years my daughter would ignore me when I said "clean your room", but if I said "harness and on-deck now" in the middle of a thunderstorm she would do it every time, because she knew it was safety, not something optional.

Much of the cruising I have done was with my daughter and me; no fall back option, but neither would I have a fall back option sailing alone. You have to stay focused and move deliberately.


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## cormeum

All of our kids started sailing way before they were 4.

On deck up until 5 or so they have to wear a PFD *and* be in a harness. We also make sure that they are watched by an adult that's NOT the helmsman.

Saw a "keep it under 5 kts" comment - we definitely do NOT do that-

Lee rail awash and flying, the little ones get used to that pretty quick.


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## Kiltmadoc

Sail with a 4 year old?!?

Make them work for it!  Here's our son at age 3...










FWIW, my parents had me on a pearson ariel at age 1 month while racing for the St. Francis Yacht Club. They just put me in a hammock in the cabin and I swung all over the place, but didnt fall down. For our son, we always have him in a life jacket and he is always clipped to jacklines when he wanders past the cockpit.


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## Cruisingdad

For your wife...


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## tweitz

It is important to get them to work early.


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## bobber

I started taking my daughter out on San Francisco Bay in my Cal 27 when she was 5. She and her friends loved the cabin and V-berth. We tried to make sure conditions were light since it can get rough out there.


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## haffiman37

When we left Norway in 2004, my son was 3,5. Celebrated his 4th in middle of Atlantic, and are now sailing locally (Malaysia) in Otimist!
index
My wife however prefers the life ashore!


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## JohnRPollard

Just in case your wife is a stickler and is still counting: "Yes" 

We got our first boat, a 24 footer, when our son was 4 years old. Of course, he was the oldest of our three kids. Our twin daughters were not yet 2 years old.


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## Faster

YES, YES, YES..... that should put you over the top!


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## haffiman37

JohnRPollard said:


> Our twin daughters were not yet 2 years old.


We waited producing our twins until arriving Langkawi, but now they are closing in on 4, and time to go sailing again.:laugher:laugher:laugher


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## JohnRPollard

haffiman37 said:


> We waited producing our twins until arriving Langkawi, but now they are closing in on 4, and time to go sailing again.:laugher:laugher:laugher


Cheers!


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## sausagebarn

JohnRPollard said:


> Just in case your wife is a stickler and is still counting: "Yes"
> 
> We got our first boat, a 24 footer, when our son was 4 years old. Of course, he was the oldest of our three kids. Our twin daughters were not yet 2 years old.


Our experiences is about the same. 5 y/o daughter with 3 y/o twins on a catalina 22! 
This will be our third summer with buttercup and we love it.


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## Nanhee

Hello to all of parents who want to take kids to sailing !!

I'm 51 years old female, newly certified sailor, advanced scuba diver, who LOVES kids and Ocean. I will like to help out watching kids on a sailing journey leaving from CA prefer but open for any location. I;m safe, clean, healthy minded and well season travelor, been to many countries in my life. Anyone looking for a good crew want to watch kids and loves to cook ??? Please let's talk !!


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## SlowButSteady

Yes, with a few caveats: first, I probably wouldn't take a 4-y-o out without another adult on board; second, "The Slot" may be a bit too much, particularly until everyone gets used to rail-down sailing; lastly, keep the tike on the leeward side of the cockpit, little ones can lose the Mal de Mar battle without much warning.


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## Frogwatch

All 3 of my kids started sailing when only a week old.
One way we found to keep em entertained when little was to stop up the drains in the cockpit and then to pour in a couple buckets of seawater and then they splash around in it while you sail. It also keeps your feet cool.


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## marksaviation

Yes, life jacket with harness and clip them in to pad eye or jack line. My dad bought our first boat when I was 3 and now at 40 have a few miles under my belt. Was on first Bermuda race by age 16 and still love to sail!


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## Merit25lovers

Looks as if you have your 9 "Yes's" JF!

I think the younger you get them out, the better. It instills boat safety, respect for the water, and the joys of sailing right from the start. My 7 year old started sailing last year on our Merit 25 and he absolutely LOVES it! Be sure to give your little one a few pre sailing "jobs" to make him/her feel important.

Keep us posted.


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## CapnBilll

Yes, I took my kids boating when they were 4, at that age I had pretty much gotten them to follow direct orders when needed for safety. Always wear life vest when on deck. I would say it depends on the child, but by 4 especially if in preschool most children are quite capable of basic tasks and following instructions. And they had a great time, (usually didn't get sick unless Mom did).


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## St Anna

Although we werent cruising all of the time, my son has effectively grown up on 'boats''. So about 8 of the last 15 years. 
When he was about 5, he would steer with his foot on the tiller (smaller boat than now) and could effectively read a chart - never left alone to do that, but he knew where we were from the beacons in a channel. 

The rule was that he had to wear his PFD when úpstairs' so he quickly saw that I should also wear one (only fair!)

I think it was the best part of allowing him responsibility in a school of hard knocks - he is a better young man now for all of it. Now, he can manage sails/ navigate/ anchor etc better than me. 

Only got sick twice that I remember. More likely from what he ate, not seasick!.

Anyway, I am grateful for the time I spent with my son on the boat when he was younger - and as for his perspective - he had no alternative! I do believe it was a good experience for him.

Now, at school, his friends have not been sailing/cruising, so he does not have that in common, but I dont that matters at all.


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## beyond

tommays said:


> I would say that SF bay plays a bit rougher than most areas that being said my kids went sailing on the J24 before they and after they could walk
> 
> I have always found the *bigger issue to be how comfy the wife is with sailing as if she has fear the kids will have fear *
> 
> To this day my now 23 and 26 year old children will NOT go on a race with my wife on board


THIS. I vividly remember offshore fishing with Mom and Dad in our small center console boat. I must have been in 2nd grade, and it was all fun and games until Mom began crying uncle. We were taking a beating from some solid chop, little boat, big ocean. I guess my rationale was that if Momma Bear was freaking out, then I should be freaking out too. One large temper tantrum later we were on our way back.

Didn't phase me though, same trip dad set me loose in Florida Bay in a nutshell pram he began building before I was born. Today I'm typing from the confines of the United States Merchant Marine academy, funny how these things get started.


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## amyspins

*4 yr old sailing*

Last summer my four year old and I started sailing together. She was a trooper! I even had her picking up the mooring by the end of the summer - with a safety harness and lifejacket on of course.

She gets a little bored on longer sails- she loves to use the radio- She calls for the launch and for the pump-out boat- keeps on eye out for pirates and boats we can "race"- I have lines tied onto cleats that that she can use to help "trim the jib" and practice her knots - lots of pretending and she has a fun time.

This summer she'll be five and she'll be taking sailing lessons - we spent last summer watching the class from our mooring and she can't wait.

We're both learning as we go and we're having a ball.

amy


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## gpdno

My 4-yr-old daughter loves to grind the winches. When I announce my intentions to tack my daughter will stop whatever game her and her brother are playing and get ready, winch handle in hand. When we tack, she starts grinding on the winch to set the jib. 

Greg


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## amyspins

That's a great idea - she will love that!
amy


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## dacap06

I'll add a qualified "yes." For what it is worth, I don't start taking my grandkids out before 6 but I'd consider it with a 4 year old if I had more adult help. The first qualification is what is the kid like? ADHD? No? Is the kid impulsive? No? Then so far so good. Does the kid listen? Do they (mostly) obey? Yes, then I would take that 4 year old sailing so long as there were enough adults present so one has primary sailing duties and another has primary kid supervision duties, and the adults can help each other as required. 

If the kid has never been sailing, start off in easy conditions and see how things go. I'd also bring along plenty of stuff to keep the kid entertained, especially for playing down below.


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## CarpeAquam

My son is now 5, but he has been going out on the boats with us since he was born. We have rules and he knows that he isn't allowed off the shore without a lifejacket on (not even on the dock). But having been around water this long, he can already swim without a lifejacket, and loves to go tubing. He tried several times to go water skiing last season and almost got up a couple times.

If 5 is old enough to go water skiing and tubing at nearly full-speed... then 4 is definitely old enough to be on a sailboat. Just be careful.


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## Brent Swain

Done that. Feed them lots of ginger snaps or candied ginger to keep the sea sickness down.


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## shanedennis

Before my youngest turned two he had been sailing in the Apostle Islands, BVI, Duluth and San Diego bay. He has "sailed" our twenty two footer, had a few excursions on a Catalina 36 and spent a week on a Beneteau 323.

He wears a lifejacket and tether any time he is out of the cabin. When any or all of our three children are on board we always wear lifejackets and we always take it easy. We are always the first ones with the second reef and storm jib.

My first wife was involved in a caspize/sinking as a kid and it put a serious crimp in my hobby... my second wife loves sailing and I want to keep it that way!


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## amyspins

*sailing camp*

Lucky Kid!

Last summer was the first summer for sailing for my 4-year old and I'm looking forward to this summer she'll be five and able to do more to help out - which will make it more fun for her- but right now she's claiming she doesn't want to sail. Hoping that will change with the weather and summer fun.

I've signed her up for a little guppies sailing camp-two hours a day for a week- just an intro to sailing really - but she has to pass a swim check - It's for ages 5-7 - so now we are working on her swimming skills - she is pretty negative about the idea of sailing camp -aargh!

I'm trying not to pressure her - but I'll feel so much better when she can swim. I think I was born swimming so it's been hard for me to deal with resistance from her when I try to teach her. I guess that's a typical mother daughter thing - so now lessons for swimming too - she takes direction so well from the teenager running the class-

All money and time well spent so mommy can continue her sailing obsession this summer with good conscience.

Wish that now I could get my husband onboard!


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## wright1d

jfhervy said:


> Seems that you all have wifes that are into sailing. I'm hopping mine will get there and that it will become a "family activity" (note that we also have a 2 year old). Until then, I may have to singlehand and/or go with friends.
> 
> Would you singlehand with a 4 yo?
> I think this is OK since he would be tethered to the boat and we would be cruising...not racing. Thoughts?


We bought our first boat a 31ft Allmand 3yrs ago when my daughter was 4 & my son was 6months. We bought the boat in NJ and brought it the 1000+ miles back to Lake Erie with my 4yr old and wife on board (The little one stayed with grandma). My 4yr old did well with it & still talks about that trip. I think 4 is a great age to start as they listen pretty well, can get their own drinks, and can help a bit.

I won't lie day sailing for the first two years with my son at 6 months and 1.5 was not very much fun. He would not sleep on the boat and if he did his sister woke him up and it really ment only one of us got to sail while the other got screamed at. Last year at 3 he did pretty good and finally learned to sleep. I'm looking forward to an even better season now that he will be 4 this year! One just has to remember that there is not much to do for kids while sailing so we bring the DVD player, a few toys, & play a lot of the games we used to play on long road trips when I was a kid. The kids both really like the longer trips we take better then day sailing. I suspect it has more to do with the fact we play in the water more, search out play grounds, and of course ice cream!

I have single handed with each of the kids on board. I worried less when my daughter was about 5 but they both really like the time alone with me they get while we are on the water and my daughter loves to invite friends to go out with us for day trips.


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## MylesK

Yes, of course! My wife, 4-1/2 month old daughter and I are moving aboard our boat. 

Safety is of the utmost priority. 

Kids under 12 MUST MUST MUST always wear a USCG approved PFD while on deck.

And we're going to make sure our daughter is also harnessed and tethered until she's 18.


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## hellosailor

Done it. Depends on the child and the parents.

The child has to be well-behaved and capable of going places (shopping, store, car ride) without throwing fits over inattention or boredom or "Idonwanna". Able to be placed in a life jacket because that's what we do above deck, period, no debate or argument.

Which all speaks to how the child was raised.

Given that, and given a spare hand to take care of the child? No problem. Just plan ahead, limit the time out, consider seasickness, sunburn, boredom, all the usual childcare issues when there's not going to be a 7-11 around.


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## hmurmur

*4year olds*

http://voyages-of-paradox.blogspot.com

Check out our web page. Been cruising with our kids since they were 6 months old. Not stopping now!


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## Cruisingdad

*Re: 4year olds*



hmurmur said:


> http://voyages-of-paradox.blogspot.com
> 
> Check out our web page. Been cruising with our kids since they were 6 months old. Not stopping now!


Nice little site. I like the fish swimming around especially!!

Brian


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## grandcapri

Had my daughter out when she was only 3 months old, random wave thru the hatch gave her a taste of sea water.. The same with my son..
Learned that I was pretty good at solo sailing while my wife tended to the kids.
Any time is as good as any to get their sea legs.. It is after all, a family activity.


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## SlowButSteady

grandcapri said:


> No it's not my F'ing boat dumbass!
> Is that all you clowns do is surf comments so that you offer your **** wisdom? TROLLS!


Does someone need some milk and cookies, and a bit of quiet time?


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## MITBeta

SlowButSteady said:


> Does someone need some milk and cookies, and a bit of quiet time?


More like a time-out...


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