# An enema may save you - No! really.



## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Okay I was watching Survivor Man in the episode where he is a drift in a life raft and the issue of palatable water came up, and what to do if it isn't quite palatable and might make you sick, but the water itself could save you.

Apparently if you have water that is marginal at best and could make you ill, thus creating further dehydration, the best thing to do with the water is to give it to yourself via an enema. By using an enema, the water does not challenge your stomach and is absorbed by your intestines.

Now I throw this out there as kind of the last ditch survival thing to do, but who knows who this piece of trivia might save. People have been using the enema method for some years now and it works - at least according to Survivor Man's research.


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## Bill Mc (Apr 10, 2006)

*To much information*

Great, Now I need an enema bag in my emergency ditch bag. What will the other occupants of my raft think?? Hell, if the boat goes down, someone please shoot me. If necessary, you can eat me too..

Fair winds,

Bill


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## KeelHaulin (Mar 7, 2006)

UH... I still don't think that will work if you use salt water. Your intestines will dehydrate instead of absorb the higher salinity water. I could see it working if the collected water was from rain or filtered but it should be bug-free if it is reverse-osmosis or via a rain collector.


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## SimonV (Jul 6, 2006)

Sorry but it's one way traffic, looks like I'm doomed.


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## BlueWaterMD (Oct 19, 2006)

Definitely not for me. And really, I am not so sure about this enema thing... is it supposed to be for salt water or contaminated water. If the water is contaminated you still risk getting sick. Salt water I don't really know what would happen, but can't imagine it would be good for you. I think I would build a solar-still instead!

I too watch Survivorman, as well as Man Vs Wild. Much of there science is questionable at best, and a lot of it is just downright stipid and dangerous. My favorite is when the guy on Man Vs Wild caught a trout and daid that you should eat it whole (BONES and all), because the bones are a good source of calcium. Your body has a huge store of calcium and not getting calcium for a few days/weeks probably isn't going to hurt you at all. Now swallowing fish bones that can perforate your GI tract is VERY likely to kill you! 

Sorry if that was a little off topic, but while these guys do have survival experience, a lot of what they do is wrong and purely for entertainment purposes.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Oh Gawd...now Giu is going to be practicing "man dehydrated" drills instead of man overboard drills!! (g)


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

camaraderie said:


> Oh Gawd...now Giu is going to be practicing "man dehydrated" drills instead of man overboard drills!! (g)


Ahhh yes yes yes....Mr. Cam...you're next...pants down...Doc Giu will be here in a minute....

Do you need vaseline or you'll take it like a man??   

Actually...that just gave me an idea.....

I can make the instruction manual for that....


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## Wannafish (Mar 25, 2004)

Right Gui - nothing like a good set of work instructions!


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

OK...here are the instructions for the "sea enema"...

persuation is a must..


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## erps (Aug 2, 2006)

> Apparently if you have water that is marginal at best and could make you ill, thus creating further dehydration, the best thing to do with the water is to give it to yourself via an enema. By using an enema, the water does not challenge your stomach and is absorbed by your intestines.


Actually I read about this survival technique around twenty years ago in a book documenting a family's experience staying alive in a life raft for a several days. At one point, there was a mix of fresh rain water and the blood of a sea turtle that they had killed, sloshing around in the bottom of the raft. The mother, a registered nurse, suggested that they consume the water via an enema. They did and lived to tell about it. I think the family was from England and I saw the mother interviewed later on the PBS station but I don't remember the particular show.

It would be interesting to hear a more expert opinion on it.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Stand BACK....she's gonna BLOW!!! (g)
Just remember Giu...what works on sheep may not work on Cam!!
I'm sending nurse Rachit to the boat:


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

AHAHAHAHAA! Oh, that was hillarious Giu.

If I recall correctly (I urge any MD's to correct me... Histology/Physiology has been a while) the lower intestines actively absorb SOME water and some nutrients but most of the digestion takes place from the Duodenum and small intestine. I think even if it was pure, clean water, there would be only a small percentage absorbed. However, the large intestine is a bit more hardy and less vulnerable to infection than other parts of the digestive system due to its nature of primarily being a pathway for waste out of the body. 

Thus, yes it might work... but with little real benefit I would guess. It would seem to me you would be better of eating raw fish or raw whatever and getting your water that way.

Still, VERY grosse images. 

- CD


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

And here's the young wombat gaining his dehydration merit badge! New meaning to the term "down under"!!


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

When I go out to a fancy bar, I'll have a martini via enema. During college football games I hook my ass up to a giant beer bong. That reminds me... World Series starts tonight! Where's my ass flask? Go Rockies!


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

We'll either see you in Boston to finish off the Rockies, or get the job done in CO, by sweeping your ass's under the snow.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

Sailhog,

SHould I ban TB for that? I am sure he has broken the rules somewhere. Or better yet, how about rehydrating him!??

GO ROCKIES!!!

Signed, one of the few Colorado natives.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

what's a Rockie??


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

CD,
I'd like to see a lifetime ban for TB. A few weeks back he made a comment that could have had a sexual connotation. I was sitting in front of my computer with a beer bong hooked up to my butt when my six-year-old daughter came in and read his post. I didn't know what to say other than, "Oh, honey, just another online freak. Now go get daddy another beer. His ass is thirsty."


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Giulietta said:


> what's a Rockie??


A guy that gets paid unbelievable money to stand on a field in front of thousands of people scratching his privates and spitting. The Rockies are a baseball team.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Can you insert a Rockie enema in CD's butt?


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

*Giu is SAVED!!*

Here's the story...


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

sigh.. Never thought I'd see a thread about this one! 
yrs ago I had a backpacking and survival course (not hardcore) but I learned: NEVER DRINK ANY WATER FROM GROUND OR STREAM! 
so when those Survival jocks go on national TV sipping from streams and mud puddles they are really giving a subliminal message that's it ok to drink that way. 

Of course there are exceptions. Someone is dumb enough to not have somekind of survival kit without water treatment pills or micron filter. 
they know how to make fire with birchbark but not a pot to boil the water in? 
He doesn't know how to make a solar still? I like watching those shows just the same though. 

Pray tell... if one has a way to "self irrigate" why can't they find a way to get or make clean water? surely water treatment tabs aren't as bulky as a waterbag and hose LOL!


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

Denise,
I think it's just a "personal choice" kind of deal. For instance, I smoke cigarettes "downstairs" instead of with my mouth. The big pay off is when I blow smoke rings for the kids. They just love it!


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## SimonV (Jul 6, 2006)

I *ass*ume this thread is *as*sinine, *ass* I am unable to *ass*ess the direction or *ass*ertain the true *ass*umption, that has been *ass*embled to *ass*ist or *ass*ociate with out *ass*istants to *ass*imilate the *ass*ortment of *ass*ay.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Anyone see the survivor dude episode where he was in a desert and drank his own pee? Seriously. Somehow I just can't imagine being that thirsty.


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

I've heard that A wine Enema is more fun! no hangover?


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## Boasun (Feb 10, 2007)

Excuse me, I shall have a solar still in my escape bag and enjoy the taste of fresh water the normal way... Also use rain catchers also.
enemas are for the hospital or for when you very constipated. 
Good water should and will be enjoyed the Normal way in my boat.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Denise...just be sure who is sharing that bottle of wine with you!

*Wife Of Texas Man Killed By Sherry Enema Surrenders*

A Texas woman charged with killing her husband by using a sherry enema has surrendered, Houston television station KPRC reports. Tammy Jean Warner, 42, turned herself in to police Monday on a charge of criminal negligent homicide connected to her 58-year-old husband's May 2003 death.nvestigators said she gave her husband, Michael Warner, a sherry enema even though she knew his health problems made it extremely dangerous for him to consume alcohol.Warner's husband subsequently died of alcohol poisoning. A toxicology report showed he had a blood-alcohol level of .47 percent when he died, which is six times the legal standard for intoxication."That's extremely high," Lake Jackson Police Detective Lt. Robert Turner told _The Brazosport Facts_. "You're either going to be in the hospital or the funeral home with that much alcohol."Turner said investigators believe Warner administered at least two large bottles of sherry to her husband......MORE....http://www.wnbc.com/news/4160551/detail.html

Truth is Stranger tha Fiction!!


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

So, you're dying of thirst and won't try something because you're afraid it might kill you?


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

Cam ... so ya get stopped and the officer sez, Here, fart into this please.


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## jimmalkin (Jun 1, 2004)

Couple of points:
1- With a working GPS EPIRB, time in life rafts (especially on travelled routes) has been generally a matter of days, not weeks based on everything I've read over the past couple of years.
2 - to the point of an enema being a nautical survival item, the nomenclature is a give away, hasn't anyone noticed that they are sold as "fleet enemas" in the US?


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

When I drive home drunk from a party, I'll shove a Tic-Tac up my ass to fool the coppers. Works every time.


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## cardiacpaul (Jun 20, 2006)

I'm as sick and twisted as the next guy, but I ain't doin' that...

Erotic: using a feather
Kinky: using the whole chicken


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## CBinRI (May 17, 2004)

I don't take advice like this -- even from friends. And with friends like this, who needs enemas?


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

> I'm as sick and twisted as the next guy, but I ain't doin' that...


cp, you're so anal retentive.


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## cardiacpaul (Jun 20, 2006)

when they put in my Ipod-pacemaker, the cutie patootie nurse said "get ready,we're going to give you an enema" woo-hoo, alright honey, bring it on... 
Then in walks "Fred" the male nurse... dammit.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

There's nothing I can do with this one folks. Y'all are on your own. Sounds like the Portagee has a firm grasp of the situation though--I'll leave it in his capable hands...


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## KeelHaulin (Mar 7, 2006)

I've heard of extreme cases of people who were stranded or trapped drinking their urine to keep from dying of dehydration. On Man vs. Wild the guy tried to make a solar still with urine as the source for water; it did not work very well (he pissed into the sand and placed a cup in the middle with a plastic bag over the top). He collected a few drops of water relative to the cup or two of urine he expelled.

Yellow enema?!?


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## ReverendMike (Aug 1, 2006)

This thread is really scraping bottom....


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

cockeyedbob said:


> Cam ... so ya get stopped and the officer sez, Here, fart into this please.


And don't stop farting until I tell ya to.


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

I read it on the internet, so it must be true:
Average time, shipwreck to death in a life raft: 3 days
Average life expentancy without water: 5 days

Why the discrepancy - the thought of having to give oneself a sea turtle blood/rain water/seawater enema is so depressing people just die at the thought.

Seriously, I graduated survival training that included 6 weeks in the jungle in Panama, 1981. Enema's were not on the list of tools. Would I do it to survive? There is nothing I won't do, nothing. Panama already showed me that.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

chucklesR said:


> Seriously, I graduated survival training that included 6 weeks in the jungle in Panama, 1981. ......There is nothing I won't do, nothing. Panama already showed me that.


How'd you survive?? ate your hair???

Bwaahahahahahahahahaha

Bwahahahahahahahahaha


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## soul searcher (Jun 28, 2006)

I did read some where that a person was givin a fresh water enama to stave off dehydration but it was a severe case of sea sickness and they couldn't keep any thing down the right way.
what about a nice shot of shark piss that will cure anything. Hve fun collecting it


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

> Seriously, I graduated survival training that included 6 weeks in the jungle in Panama, 1981


That's nothing . . . I survived 4 days of Woodstock - and not by toking enema bongs.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

If you drink tea thru your ass...do you need sugar ???

What about cream??


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

What if you had taste buds in your anus?


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

I survived knowing that later the Navy would let me have a port visit to Portugal; where all would be right again with the world. (I know you are old enough to remember 'that' port visit - amphious ships in the 80's leading to riots in the street) - no, I wasn't there for that one.

By 1980 I had no hair to eat, having already used it as to weave a sail when caught by a storm at sea. Instead while in the jungle I learned to survive by eating the lint in my belly button and drinking the star light through wonderous eyes.
Some day I aspire to be a quick as you are with photoshop, for now I remained in awe.


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

TB, what if's are a different thread


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

Got lost again dammit . . . nevermind then. Woodstock's my excuse for premature dementia syndrome


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

chucklesR said:


> I survived knowing that later the Navy would let me have a port visit to Portugal; where all would be right again with the world. (I know you are old enough to remember 'that' port visit - amphious ships in the 80's leading to riots in the street) - no, I wasn't there for that one.
> 
> *YOU WERE THERE THEN????? The big fight with the British navy???
> That was sooo funny all ended up in jail....   I remember that...the year I was a superstar in 470.....*
> ...


*That's paint brush my friend....not photoshop...*


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## NCountry (May 25, 2006)

and after you get rescued you can use the enema bag to make french wine....hmmmm...might improve the taste


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Wow, I don't even think this thread is 24 hours old. I came to Sailnet this afternoon and found so many posts, no telling what will "take" in a forum. I was expecting one or two posts as to "how weird it/me" was and that was it.

Interestingly I was going to start another thread on urine but since that topic has already been raised, I might as well talk about it here. As most will know, but not all - urine when it comes out is sterile - but don't let it sit long before drinking it - then things will start to grow in it. You can drink it - and their is some weird medical thing that some believe, and I can't tell you, but it involves drinking a small amount of your urine daily.

http://www.wfmu.org/LCD/19/urine.html

Urine was used by native Americans to clean wounds (though it must have stung as I will relate why in a bit).

Urine also seems to have an anti-itch agent, this one I've tried out and it did work. Apply said "fresh" urine to an area whose itch is driving you nuts and you aren't close to any pharmacies, and it does work.

I listened to a radio program on urine and all its interesting uses, I don't remember most of them, but the anti-itch one stuck with me.

Now there is a problem with drinking urine and interestingly the same problem as drinking sea water. The body dumps salt into urine and so over time the bad part of urine is the salt it contains. The reason urine will sting in a wound is the salt content in it.

In survival situations I have read and heard that you can drink "some" salt water and urine, but the frustrating thing was that the amount of "some" was not given. It you are out there on a life raft and the sun is beating down on you, through sweat you will give up some of the bodies natural salt so that drinking some sea water will replace that lost salt - same with urine.

And now an Inuit treatment for something foreign in the eye. If your buddy gets something in their eye but they can't get it out (like a small, very small piece of glass from a shattered glass container) and its driving him nuts you do this... lol! (you'll love it) You use your tongue on your buddies eye to "fetch" the offending foreign object; the tongue is naturally soft, sensitive and will find items easily, and moist; thus not damaging the eye.

And if you've run out of food backpacking and are lost - eat bugs, lots of protein, but don't eat bugs that aren't all one dull colour, no bright colours - eg. black widows.

Solar stills work but you need around five of them working before you will get enough to keep one person alive for one day. It isn't good enough to pee in the area then hope you will get the water back in a cup. Instead build a pit, and if in the desert, pee in the pit then slice open cactus's to get at their moisture. By the way, all water we drink has been circulated through thousands of living and no so living things, our planet is one very large solar still. So that polluted water in Gary, Indiana evapourates and becomes our future drinking water.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Urine is sold in the US as beer....goes by the name of:

Budweiser
Coors
Sam Adams
etc.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Lol...... Canadians would agree with your assesment, Giu.


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

Molson tastes like Moose piss. Give me a break canuck. There are *2079 breweries in the US* - most have some of the best tasting brews in the world. Unfortunately for them, foreigners will never get to taste the best - since they're reserved for microbrew afficionados, like myself.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

You need a better health insurance plan... 


cardiacpaul said:


> when they put in my Ipod-pacemaker, the cutie patootie nurse said "get ready,we're going to give you an enema" woo-hoo, alright honey, bring it on...
> Then in walks "Fred" the male nurse... dammit.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

I liked Molson....is that moose piss??

By the way I drank very good beer in Colorado....thanks Charlie!!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I actually learned something from this thread, I just Wikipedia Canadian Beer and learned Molson has two microbreweries, one at the Canuck's garage.... who knew. Lots of microbreweries here, anyone for a Granville Island brew????

If you come up the Pacific Coast, many boaters stop and Granville Island, well now you can have a brew just waiting for you.

http://www.realbeer.com/nmvbp/revgrann.htm


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

Better moose piss than fly piss, but I digress.

I believe it was the Frenchman Alain Bombard who discovered that one can safely drink about 250 ml (or one cup) of seawater per day with no ill effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_Bombard

Of course, being French, he might have been a fraud, but draw your own conclusions. Also, I doubt a cup a day would do more than prolong an agonizing death from thirst, but it might SUPPLEMENT a fresh water supply for several days beyond when it would otherwise be gone...during which it might rain heavily.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Canadians actually discovered another use for urine...
You can use it to get your tongue unstuck from the bumper of your car when you've had too much Molson's! (g)


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

RSN,

Where do you come up with this stuff??? (smile)

HEY, since we are on the subject of beer, I tried something this weekend and it worked quite well. I bought a mini-keg (like a pony, but smaller... 5L) and put it in the fridge. WORKS AWESOME and does not take up much room.

Might be a nice cruising option?? 

Hmmm....

I will tell you right now you could sell Ice Cold Beer (of ANY make) while cruising. Ahhh, I now know how I will supplement my cruising kitty... CD's BAR & Grill!!!!!

HAHAHA!

- CD


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

I love some of that "survival" training. Don't ever drink water out of a stream or mud puddle. That doesn't sound like someone trying to survive, it sounds like someone trying to avoid possibly getting sick during survival training.

Thinking about it somewhat logically, if only for a moment, if you're in a survival situation what are the odds the water is contaminated? contamination that is going to harm you is most likely human caused which would mean that humans are fairly close by. Contamination from nature is probably tolerated by the body much better.

So it's been two days without water and a squall fills the bilge of my liferaft with rain water. No way I'm going to drink it, right? Who knows what contaminants might be in that bilge. HeHeHE!

I can see Cam and the Portagee in the liferaft now. A squall is passing over and it's raining hard. The short, balding Portagee is standing with his head tilted back and his tongue stuck out to catch the rain. Cam's sitting comfortably with his cup, dipping water out of the bilge to drink. He inadvertently chokes on about the third cup laughing at the Portagee, which the Portagee attributes to contaminated water. Tell me you cannot see this in your mind's eye right now.


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

CD,
That would finally provide you with a use for your boat. You could use those white sheets of dacron for table cloths. (g)


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## Zanshin (Aug 27, 2006)

Sailaway - the major issue with water in survival situations is biological contaminants causing diarrhea which leads to dehydration which leads to incapacitation which leads to death. There are many chemical means to clear up that problem and heck yes, I'd drink (and have) liquid that makes the stuff that comes out the back of a washing machine look pristine in comparison.
I just read a book which made numerous references to Dr. Bombard and the ability to use seawater in addition to sweet water for survival. Even though the medical evidence seems to support this claim I don't think I'd go as far as to try that.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Let's see, where do I come up with this stuff. Well I taught survival courses to Royal Canadian Air Cadets (American translation: Civil Air Patrol) and so I learned to keep my ears open for interesting survival and medical procedures in emergency situations.

One guy I had heard was good on survival knowledge came along with us one year on a survival exercise. I knew about eating bugs, but when he ripped off bark from dying trees and ate the white grubs, I knew I had the real McCoy on my hands. Bugs are good for protein.

What did I teach my cadets to bring along as emergency food when backpacking? Semi-moist cat food; you can imagine this horrified them so I would open a package and start munching on the food. I would tell them that if they relied on extra food like they have been taught in other courses, the chance of them eating all of the grub was very high, appetites soar in the mountains. I taught them to bring chicken OXO cubes, make a soup and down the semi-moist cat food. They asked me why that choice; I said first they would have to be genuinely starving before the food had appeal, then it wouldn't seem so bad, second the food wouldn't be touched during their backbacking, and lastly it would keep well.

Urine fascination came from being acquainted with some one who used urine as a daily "therapy."

And I enjoy unusual facts, like today I learned that the bubbles that appear in a glass of champagne are a result of the wine hitting microscopic dust in the glass - who knew?


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

How'd CD get the champagne into his head?


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

sailaway21 said:


> How'd CD get the champagne into his head?


Sorry, Sway--I usually agree with you on most things, but implying that CD has microscopic bits of ANYTHING in his head--you go too far, sir.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

DJEVANS said:


> Sorry, Sway--I usually agree with you on most things, but implying that CD has microscopic bits of ANYTHING in his head--you go too far, sir.


Now, DJ, don't let Sailaway get you on his side. His 60th birthday is over... no reason to be nice anymore.

It was 60, wasn't it Sailaway??

HEHE!

- CD


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## Bill Mc (Apr 10, 2006)

Where is this thread going? and how is drowning a gerbil, going to save you in a life raft ? Baaaaad..

Fair Winds,

Bill


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Sorry, CD--just hadn't taken a swipe at you in a while. It was your turn.


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

rsn
In my younger days, I backpacked in many areas of the American west mountains. I always stopped at any small stream and drank the water directly without treatment and never got sick.


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## freddy4888 (Nov 16, 2006)

Shouldn't this be moved to the ass full of water ah I mean crap thread. By the way Alex, I'm still blind from the sun reflection off of your bald spot from that last video you produced.


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

sailhog said:


> When I go out to a fancy bar, I'll have a martini via enema. During college football games I hook my ass up to a giant beer bong. That reminds me... World Series starts tonight! Where's my ass flask? Go Rockies!





TrueBlue said:


> We'll either see you in Boston to finish off the Rockies, or get the job done in CO, by sweeping your ass's under the snow.





Cruisingdad said:


> Sailhog,
> 
> SHould I ban TB for that? I am sure he has broken the rules somewhere. Or better yet, how about rehydrating him!??
> 
> ...


The Rockies were demolished last night by the Sox . . . *13 - 1. Go Sox!!!*


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Demolished is a good word for it...when you have the supposedly deep bull pen of the Rockies going through three pitchers in an inning... and letting the Sox score SEVEN runs in that inning-three because of walks... it is pretty embarrassing. 

Summary of the Red Sox scoring in the bottom of the fifth... 



> - Youkilis doubled to left, Ellsbury scored.
> - Ortiz doubled to center, Youkilis scored.
> - Ramirez singled to center, Ortiz scored.
> - Drew infield single to short, Ramirez scored, Lowell to third, Varitek to second.
> ...


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

TrueBlue said:


> The Rockies were demolished last night by the Sox . . . *13 - 1. Go Sox!!!*


Not sure Hog.... whatcha think about instead of banning him, I sign on as him and change his pic to a MacGregor?!! Cpt Faggo might work too... or Cpt Faggo in the Macgregor!

HAHA!

- CD


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

TrueBlue said:


> The Rockies were demolished last night by the Sox . . . *13 - 1. Go Sox!!!*


I was so drunk and depressed by the end of the game that I had to unhook my ass beer bong and "threw up" into the sea cushions. I tried to take them out to get them cleaned, but they each weigh forty or fifty pounds each. Lotta beer and half-digested pepperoni pizza in those cushions.

CD,
I've been trying to call the Sailnet police, and haven't seen any action taken against TB or Cockeyedbob. Don't understand what the problem is. They're both posting as though everything's just fine and dandy. Is the Sailnet police force just some kind of joke?


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

sailhog said:


> I was so drunk and depressed by the end of the game that I had to unhook my ass beer bong and "threw up" into the sea cushions. I tried to take them out to get them cleaned, but they each weigh forty or fifty pounds each. Lotta beer and half-digested pepperoni pizza in those cushions.
> 
> CD,
> I've been trying to call the Sailnet police, and haven't seen any action taken against TB or Cockeyedbob. Don't understand what the problem is. They're both posting as though everything's just fine and dandy. Is the Sailnet police force just some kind of joke?


Hey Hog, don't get mad at me. I have done everything I can. I filled out the AID form (Architecht in Denial) and the ever popular SCOS Form (Smoking Crack on Sailnet). I thought for sure we had him on the last one.

However, to my suprise, TB gets special privileges because he is dissabled. After looking at this pic of him, maybe you will understand why and feel sorry for him too:


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## speciald (Mar 27, 2007)

OK - Historically before the development of intravenous fluids; Fluid was replaced by dermoclysis - sub-cutaneous injection of fluids - or by using electrolyte solution enemas. They did work but not as well as direct intravenous injection of fluids. Fresh water mixed with a small amount of Gatorade powder as an enema might work as a last resort in severe dehydration. Do not use too much Gatorade as this may become hyper-osmotic and actually remove fluid from the system.


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

CD,
TB's not disabled. He's just adjusting the carb on his beer bong. You've really got to get your head way up there and you've got to have a good flashlight because it's DARK! Anyway, I was just wondering why he and cockeyedbob haven't been arrested. No big deal, I guess. I just expect a certain level of service for my money. If you can't deliver, then you should just tell me.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

sailhog said:


> CD,
> TB's not disabled. He's just adjusting the carb on his beer bong. You've really got to get your head way up there and you've got to have a good flashlight because it's DARK! Anyway, I was just wondering why he and cockeyedbob haven't been arrested. No big deal, I guess. I just expect a certain level of service for my money. If you can't deliver, then you should just tell me.


How can you arrest Cockeyed?? Look at this face!










Besides, go easy on me there. CAM IS THE ONE MAKING ALL THE MODERATOR MONEY - NOT ME! I just do this because I am the most knowledgeable and best looking sailor on this site. I am trying to improve the Moderator image. He should have to deal with your complaints.


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

CD,
Sorry, I'm a little grumpy this morning... a little hung over. I "drank" about fifty litres of Bud through my keester last night, and then "threw up," as I already mentioned. Think I could get any volunteers from Sailnet to come over and help me clean it up? Anyone? Anyone at all?


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

Cruisingdad said:


> Hey Hog, don't get mad at me. I have done everything I can. I filled out the AID form (Architecht in Denial) and the ever popular SCOS Form (Smoking Crack on Sailnet). I thought for sure we had him on the last one.
> 
> However, to my suprise, TB gets special privileges because he is dissabled. After looking at this pic of him, maybe you will understand why and feel sorry for him too:


Didn't want to do this CD, since you are our illustrious Moderator, but you leave me with little choice. Many here may wonder what CD actually does with his time when all of us are at home with our families. He's actually a cross dresser at an all night theater in the red light district. His favorite role - Dr. Frank N. Furter . . .


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

TrueBlue said:


> Didn't want to do this CD, since you are our illustrious Moderator, but you leave me with little choice. Many here may wonder what CD actually does with his time when all of us are at home with our families. He's actually a cross dresser at an all night theater in the red light district. His favorite role - Dr. Frank N. Furter . . .


TB! You have been getting cheap lately. How come you aren't sticking the $100 bills in my strap anymore?? You still mad because I wouldn't sign the picture above?? YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT!

I am trying to make a living here!! And I thought you were my favorite fan... hmph. Come on!

- CD


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

You must have me confused with sailhog, he's the one who emailed that photo to me CD . . . come on, get with the program.

Geesh, those late nights are killing your grey matter.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

That is terrible passing the blame over to SH. THAT IS YOU RUNNING AROUND WITH THE CAMERA, ISN'T IT?? 

How do I know it is not Sailhog?? He is the one that keeps getting kicked out because he tried to get up there and dance with me. Hog's can't dance.

- CD


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

I wouldn't put it past sailingdog to have interest in your onstage performances CD. Remember this photo? The resemblance is more than a coincidence . . .


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

Cruisingdad said:


> How can you arrest Cockeyed?? Look at this face!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Sailhog:


> I smoke cigarettes "downstairs" instead of with my mouth. The big pay off is when I blow smoke rings for the kids. They just love it!


You mean the old "pull my finger thing" gets a smoke ring?

I have heard of a supository for a headache, just goes to show ya, the fastest route to the brain is through the rectum. God, that's so gay, I'll have to watch a lot of football to get that image out of my mind.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

TrueBlue said:


> I wouldn't put it past sailingdog to have interest in your onstage performances CD. Remember this photo? The resemblance is more than a coincidence . . .


HEHEHEEHE! I remember that one! Sad thing is that: IT WAS NOT PHOTOSHOPPED!!

HAHA!

- CD


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Hey..that's Sailingdog......

Mes Dammes et Messieurs..voici...Mr. Chien de voile...l'artiste a trois pates....


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

sailaway21 said:


> How'd CD get the champagne into his head?


Opened the forward hatch, I assume.


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## FELTON (Dec 24, 2000)

*No way*

Not on my watch


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

CD,
Don't know if you noticed but both Cockeyedbob and Trueblue have posted on this thread TODAY! Well, guess what... I WAS thinking of purchasing a rigging protector from the Sailnet store. I would have spent $1.99 plus shipping and handling... but since TB and Cockeyedbob have yet to receive their lifetime ban... might have to check out Defender... Oh well...


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## jerryrlitton (Oct 14, 2002)

We learned in survival school that it does work but it is used not for using questionable water but to rehydrate an unconscious person. It works.

Jerry


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

sailhog said:


> CD,
> Don't know if you noticed but both Cockeyedbob and Trueblue have posted on this thread TODAY! Well, guess what... I WAS thinking of purchasing a rigging protector from the Sailnet store. I would have spent $1.99 plus shipping and handling... but since TB and Cockeyedbob have yet to receive their lifetime ban... might have to check out Defender... Oh well...


I told you to go to Cam. He is the one that gets the big Moderator Paycheck. I wish I made his kind of money...

- CD


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

It works, i was dehydrated from biking the other day and didnt have any sources for drinking nearby. i felt much better afterwards but was tired again from evading the police after the old lady caught me in her yard with the water hose shoved up my @$$


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## SimonV (Jul 6, 2006)

jerryrlitton said:


> We learned in survival school that it does work but it is used not for using questionable water but to rehydrate an unconscious person. It works.
> 
> Jerry


I have heard they do it for elephants at the zoo when they are unwell due to the heat here in Oz and they mix coffee with it. I understend the worst part it trying to get the bung in.


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

Hey hog! Check out GOB ... got Catalina 30 in the boat review section ...


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

Bob,
I let my GOB subscription lapse... I recently subscribe to Healthy Colon Monthly, and can't afford both. What does GOB say?


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

hog ... nuthin' but nice sugary pablum which makes Bob suspect it was ghostwritten by CD.  
Nonetheless, a nice article on Mark onesies and twosies, so get yer butt to Borders and read it fer free.


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

qoq,
I'll check it out... Mine's been seeing some kind of abuse lately -- kids swinging like monkeys from the handrails in the cabin, obese inlaws tromping about the deck, wife throwing tampax in the head... Logging some hours, though. Went out about five miles off the island and hove-to for a couple of hours by myself. Very nice. Nearly fell asleep on the deck.


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

You lucky hog! 

Been just beautiful here, but the stock tank's been closed fer bird nesting so they can shoot 'em in the spring. Nearest water at 7,000', a wee bit chilly for sailing at this time of year 'cause da wimmen tend ta dress. 

Bob's just gonna have to move somewhere warmer ... was considering San Diego 'cause Bob usta lib dere, but see she made an ash of herself ... seriously considering Miss/Ala gulf coast ... gotta have her hauled when finished so east or west makes no difference ... heh, heh, might be able to afford livin' in Miss.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

> Urine fascination came from being acquainted with some one who used urine as a daily "therapy."


Uhmm - all well and good - whatever floats yer boat and ll that but I think that there are probably some other internet sites more closely aligned with this interest of yours than Sailnet... _(just a thought)_


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

If you're looking around, you should take a look-see out here. Not the greatest local sailing, but it's good enough for me and the Atlantic is right there... West Palm Beach is 3.5 days, the Bahamas 4.5 days... I lived in NW Colorado for 20 years, and feel like I'm making up for lost time... sailing my hind-end off. Bob, if you ever want to do some reconn, be sure to PM me. I'll set you up.
Sailhog


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

cockeyedbob said:


> hog ... nuthin' but nice sugary pablum which makes Bob suspect it was ghostwritten by CD.
> Nonetheless, a nice article on Mark onesies and twosies, so get yer butt to Borders and read it fer free.


HAHAHAHA! That was funny.


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

hog ... thanks, might take ya up on the offer ...

CD ... 'spect ta read ya in one of the upcoming GOB/CW/L&A/Catalina Recyclers/etc. issues ... how's ol' Bob and t'others gonna know it's you? Ya gonna give us a sign or will your credit go unrecognized?


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

You will know it is me b/c of the fantastic writing style! PS - I write under the CruisingDad pen name, in case the writing style did not help!!

- CD


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

Ah ... ok ... CruisingDad is ok for Sailnet, but as a nom de plume, CruisingDad bites ... just leads in later years to CruisingGramps and ya don't want that ... ya need something snappy like, like Biff Catalina.


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## Cruisingdad (Jul 21, 2006)

What about StraightEyedRobert?? That was my other choice. Just not sure what it would turn into as I got older...


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## cockeyedbob (Dec 6, 2006)

Cruisingdad said:


> What about StraightEyedRobert?? That was my other choice. Just not sure what it would turn into as I got older...


HAHAHAHA Now, THAT'S funny!

What a coinkidink!
Bought my Catalina from a guy named StraightEyedRobert.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

I vote for Bobble-head Bri ! (g)


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

The bobble-head has potential. It would also explain some of CD's posts, knowing that the over-sized head is connected to the body by a small spring. I am reminded of an old medical saying, "the brain is merely a knot that keeps the spinal cord from unraveling".


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## hellosailor (Apr 11, 2006)

The topic has been discussed before and when all the sniggling is over...apparently it is the small bowel or bowel that is the ignored organ which is capable of ABSORBING water. Conveniently located near the seawater one might have to stick in it.

Bowels and intestines and all have different abilities about what they can/will pass each way through the membranes. 

What, you're stuck a thousand miles from nowhere with no fresh water, and you're NOT going to give it a try?


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## bestfriend (Sep 26, 2006)

How did I miss this gem of a thread? Holy moly!!! What a riot!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

bestfriend said:


> How did I miss this gem of a thread? Holy moly!!! What a riot!





bestfriend said:


> Now be prepared to get hammered by the "Society for Members that Hate When Old Dead Threads get Revived".    (Me not being a card carrying member).


read SD's signature


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## CliffL (Jan 25, 2007)

Actually the use of less than pure water was used by Dougal Robertson's wife, Lyn via enemas to her two young children while they were adrift in the Pacific for 38 days. The children were suffering the most from dehydration and would not drink. The family also used the moisture inside of fish and turtles for hydration. Lyn was a nurse so understood that water via enema is a way to hydrate a person, so did what she needed to save her children's lives. How do I know? I just finished reading, "Survive the Savage Sea" by Dougal Robertson. It's a great sailing survival story. Dougal's boat sunk after being attacked by killer whales off the coast of S. America. He, his three children, wife, and crew member survived by establishing a mind set of "we're going to survive and take care of ourselves," rather than, "We hope someone saves us." Very good read. Once we get past the bathroom humor (which I totally enjoy), maybe a lesson or two to learn.


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## erps (Aug 2, 2006)

Thanks Cliff,

That's the story I referred to early in this thread, but couldn't remember the name of the book.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

This thread actually smells of a**.......

CD..are you there???? I can smell you....did you open your mouth again???


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## RickQuann (May 27, 2005)

I once had an older relative who thought enemas were a cure all for everything that "ailed ya". We just thought he was a crazy old coot. Might be something to it, but I would have to be a desperate s.o.b to try it 
Nice artwork Giu


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## buckeyesailor (Mar 9, 2008)

One VERY intertaining thread......

I didn't think I had time to read it all but it's like one of those books you can't put down......

AND........I learned something....(just hope I never need it!)


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