# All Sailnet Female Members



## Cruisingdad

Even if you do not often (or ever) reply to threads here, I would apprecaite your thoughts. THis is no time to be shy.

We are trying to decide whether or not to make HerSailnet a female only forum... of do you even care? We can maintain the policy of either females only, or the policy of carefully moderated posts should men wish to participate.

I honestly do not care either way. The difficulty, of course, is that we cannot tell for sure who is or who is not a female (this is the internet). However, on most/many members, we have a pretty good idea.

So, the question really is not what I want, but what you want. We will dictate and manage the forum as such.

We apprecaite your participation here and really want to make it place that encourages you to participate and feel like you can ask, respond, or discuss matters without fear of inappropriate comments, etc.

Please tell me what YOU want.

Thanks.

- CD


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## Giulietta

Let me in on a little story that I witnessed in New York in 2002.

I did consulting for this very very very large corporation...

One day, a manager, that happened to be (man I am even affarid to say, because I don't know what is correct or not in the US anymore), African American, and I were working together...

He had a frame in his office...it said something like he was the President of the XXXX CORPORATION BLACK MANAGEMENT ASSOCIATION....

I saw that and it di not get registered in my mind...

A week later, I asked him, what it was and who was the leader of the White Management Association....

They didn't have one...it's not political correct....

So my question to you is....are we going to have a MANS FORUM also???

Isn't this what you guys talk a lot here that is happening to the US???

I will never get it....


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## eryka

My take is that this forum may be a place to pose questions more of "interest" to female members than "only females can reply." I personally would welcome _respectful _comments from guys - I'll take knowledge whereever I can find it. Other opinions?


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## Giulietta

eryka said:


> My take is that this forum may be a place to pose questions more of "interest" to female members than "only females can reply." I personally would welcome _respectful _comments from guys - I'll take knowledge whereever I can find it. Other opinions?


Absolutely right...

man should know how to behave in the presence of ladies..If they don't they should be told so...it's in the end a question of sociological education...


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## TrueBlue

I can't believe CD's even considering this - or that he recently deleted Hersailnet forum posts made by guys, who clearly were not being rude or insulting. This action actually drove one member to leave - requesting all identity to be erased.

I ask again, where has it been stated that guys should refrain from posting in hersailnet, and if this has always been the intent, what action inspired this segregation?

BTW, I've seen attempts at this on other forums, with very negative results.


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## MMR

eryka said:


> My take is that this forum may be a place to pose questions more of "interest" to female members than "only females can reply." I personally would welcome _respectful _comments from guys - I'll take knowledge whereever I can find it. Other opinions?


I concur. I think of the herSailnet forum as a "topic category" not a gender category. Leave as is.


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## Giulietta

One question....can I photoshop here????


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## eryka

Giu - did you catch the "respectful" part? I doubt you'd be able to restrain yourself effectively.


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## TSOJOURNER

MMR said:


> I concur. I think of the herSailnet forum as a "topic category" not a gender category. Leave as is.


For what it's worth I agree with Chuckles and TB on this.


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## Giulietta

Eryka...if you knew me for real, you would immediately see that I am trully 100% respectfull for ladies...I swear I am...you can ask anyone here that has been with me..

My photoshoping, never ever offended or was aimed at ladies, with the exception of DJ, but she asked for it..

I did have once an "occurence" with a lady here, triggered by a loser with multiple sign ons, but in reality, what this lady did was not fare..

She kicked me bellow the belt, offended me, and attacked me as if she was a man...so I figured...'you beat me like a man...I will beat you like a man too"...

I later appologized after CD asked me to tone down...I was played unfair in that deal and it satyed there...she left, thank God...

By the way..this is my only female oriented photoshop...like I said, as per her request, in in an appropriate context...


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## MMR

teshannon said:


> For what it's worth I agree with Chuckles and TB on this.


EXCUSE ME...that's ADMIRAL Chuckles, buster!


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## eryka

I do recognize and appreciate the tone CD is trying set, tho - perhaps we can ask the moderator(s) to moderate out comments that are inappropriate or off-track? Oh yeah, and photoshops too.


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## camaraderie

I am with TB/Chuckles etc. on this. BUT...I also think that guys should refrain from automatically jumping in here as they would on any other sub-forum. Rather than make a "ladies only" rule that I have no way to enforce anyway...I would suggest a "ladies first" attitude on the part of the guys here as a *voluntary* thing.
Eryka...we WILL in any case moderate aggressively here to keep threads civil and on track. Thanks for your comments.


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## TSOJOURNER

MMR said:


> EXCUSE ME...that's ADMIRAL Chuckles, buster!


Sir, who gave you that promotion? Pretty soon we'll have be seeing Admiral Giu.


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## MMR

teshannon said:


> Sir, who gave you that promotion? Pretty soon we'll have be seeing Admiral Giu.


MY HUSBAND DID.

He's a smart man.


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## Giulietta

teshannon said:


> Sir, who gave you that promotion? Pretty soon we'll have be seeing Admiral Giu.


My wife is not, and will never be Admiral...I am the master and commander...she...she is my wife...and she rules on other things...we share admiralty on different subjects...


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## TSOJOURNER

MMR said:


> MY HUSBAND DID.
> 
> He's a smart man.


He is that in spite of his many other flaws. And for putting up with him I salute you admiral!


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## PorFin

At the risk of offending (which is not my intent) --

My vote's against trying to firewall this forum.

While I don't think that I've ever posted in this particular forum, I have often read and learned things here that probably wouldn't have broken squelch in another forum.

I kind of look at this not as a "women's forum" but more of a "pink forum" (as in the distinction between traditionally blue and pink chores aboard a boat.) 

Now, I also find inappropriate comments -- well, inappropriate -- and usually look upon the poster as a boorish curr. After serving alongside women in uniform for many years, I've found that most women in general -- and here to be sure -- can often give as good as they get.


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## tjvanginkel

As a female member my response to this issue is that to have a forum where only one gender can respond is a reverse sexism that I do not agree with.
I understand why it is there, and think that it is a valuable tool, however to cut out say 90% (that is perhaps a conservative estimate of the gender gap here!) of possible responses to a question doesn't make sense to me.
I believe we are people first, sailors second, gender last and would like to see the forum open to all responders. Perhaps with guidelines in place if you feel that is necessary to encourage more women to participate.
Thanks to the moderators for taking so much of their time to keep the discussions happening. I learn alot from reading through the threads on various subjects and really appreciate this resource. 
Regards, Tanya
Person, beginner sailor, woman


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## hellosailor

CD-
The dames can't have it both ways. If they want a "Ladies Only" section, then you MUST give them equality by putting up a "Boys Club" section where ladies are banned.

If you--or they--want equality, you can have separate but equal, or equal. But the one thing you cannot and must not do, is give women their own forum, while denying an equal enclave for men only. THAT would be sexist, no matter what the intent.

By the way, there are five human genders (male, female, anfd three hermaphrodite) so if there's a "women only" section, I want to see FOUR MORE sections that are gender specific, to accomodate each of the five natural human genders.

The trannies can argue it out elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I'm pushing for federal legislation to require five different gender bathrooms in all public buildings. I figure I'll make a fortune in plumbing supply stocks once I can get that one through Congress.[vbg]


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## ADMTROX

Her Sailnet is a womans forum for topics that women want to discuss, but the men can and do add useful information. I agree that it should not try to be for women only.


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## eryka

PorFin said:


> Now, I also find inappropriate comments -- well, inappropriate -- and usually look upon the poster as a boorish curr. After serving alongside women in uniform for many years, I've found that most women in general -- and here to be sure -- can often give as good as they get.


PorFin - Thanx for your service, and the implied compliment. I agree that most of us can give as good as we get, and some of us can give better. Sometimes we wanna mix it up in the boisterous "Off Topic" forum, and sometimes we just want to chill out and get information ... maybe here? (Besides, they'd laugh at me anywhere else if I wanted to ask about window coverings  )


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## xort

ADMTROX said:


> Her Sailnet is a womans forum for topics that women want to discuss, but the men can and do add useful information. I agree that it should not try to be for women only.


I'm curious admtrox, what have the men added here that you have found useful?


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## ADMTROX

Xort,

I have to admit...it is far and few between.


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## chucklesR

Guys, quit calling my Admiral ( MMR) "Chuckles" please. She added the 'AdmiralChuckles' to her signature as an act of full disclosure because she thought it was the fair way to play by letting the 'regulars' know who she is. I'd not want her to regret that decision.
We follow the rules as to one person, one login, one login = one person.
Even when I was recently banned I did not log in with her login, nor will she ever log in as me. 
I realize it was a mistake when you did so, I just want to be real clear.

As to the question of should the herSailnet be 'female' only. I can't personally think of a sillier thing to do. Does anyone ever come here for half an answer, half an opinion?
Not that there are not many female sailors out there that can sail loops around me (I assure you there are) - but I'd never not listen or ask for input based on gender, why should Sailnet foster and environment that does so?

Besides, I'd think you would have to make a 'men's room' then where the guys can hang out and be no holds barred.


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## TSOJOURNER

Chuckles,
I'm guilty of that, had one of those senior moments. But heck, her posts are better than yours anyway.


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## chucklesR

teshannon said:


> Chuckles,
> I'm guilty of that, had one of those senior moments. But heck, her posts are better than yours anyway.


Of course they are, she doesn't ramble on incessantly without making any real point, or use words she doesn't know the meaning of. Sometimes her posts are the very virtue of short clear communications.


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## Melrna

OK guys and gals. Lets settle down here for a minute and look at the big picture here. First of all, I started this whole thing I believe awhile back ago (CD corrected me here if I am wrong). My intentions of this is just to keep out the guy locker talk away from this forum. We have other forums were the guys and gals can blast away, eg, "Off topic"! What few women post here on this great site is way too few in my humble opinion. I was hoping that some of the lurkers here would be brave enough to post a question here whether gender specific or not without getting flamed in the process. Right or wrong most of us gals are a little sensitive to getting flamed. We had someone post a very female topic here and I am proud of her that she did. That shows that the restrictions might be starting to work. I am not advocating a strictly women's only forum where only women can post. The last few topics, men have asked us girls some questions too. Bravo! I believe that is the intent of this forum. Call it what you like, pink, women's issues, women's chat site or women's forum. All I ask it we keep it clean and to the issues at hand. 
Melissa


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## TSOJOURNER

Well put Melissa. I think most of us can handle that and for the jerks that can't there's CD and CAM.


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## TrueBlue

I propose we have a "Boorish Curr" forum. 

Edit- perhaps PorFin meant cur? . . . That I understand (g)


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## merttan

Are we gonna sail ladies on the starboard, gentlemen on the port with a black curtain hanging from the boom as well? 

Where do I know this tradition from, where do I know this tradition... Oh yea, it's called "haremlik-selamlik" in extremist muslim countries... 
:S
I can't believe this is even a thread subject...


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## eryka

merttan said:


> Are we gonna sail ladies on the starboard, gentlemen on the port with a black curtain hanging from the boom as well?
> 
> Where do I know this tradition from, where do I know this tradition... Oh yea, it's called "haremlik-selamlik" in extremist muslim countries...
> :S
> I can't believe this is even a thread subject...


 I can't decide if this is really sad or really funny ... but you do seem to have cut to the heart of it.


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## PorFin

TrueBlue said:


> I propose we have a "Boorish Curr" forum.
> 
> Edit- perhaps PorFin meant cur? . . . That I understand (g)


Yeah, I ran through my normal vocab to tag the offenders, and all I came up with was exactly the kind of locker room talk that got us here in the first place.


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## camaraderie

OK...thanks for the input folks. It is apparent there is no support for a "female only" herSailnet sub forum. We will continue with herSailnet simply as a place for females to hang out....with males welcome...but with strong moderating standards per the sticky at the top of the forum to keep things civil, on track and safe for all. 
I will close this thread now. If you have anything further to add...please contact one of the mods through PM.


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