# Meeting friends



## Blonde1 (May 7, 2002)

Does anyone know if there is a board or site where you can go to meet someone with sailing/cruising interests? I am talking ''searching for that great relationship with similar interests'' kind of deal. I don''t really like the dating websites I have seen on the we so far...would rather find something more specialized. Any ideas? I live in Virginia.
Thanks for any help. I know there must be others out there wishing for the same.


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## SailorMitch (Nov 18, 2005)

Not sure where in VA you are, but you can check out www.spinsheet.com and click on "Crew Listings." This is a free service of SpinSheet magazine to hook up people with boats with people who want to crew. While it''s not aimed at "relationships" I know some folks have connected that way. Worth a look see anyway. SpinSheet is published in Annapolis, but has info for the entire bay.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Don''t like the idea of using sailing message boards as dating sites. Maybe you should just go hang around a marina and look for a rich guy?

I have an interest in meeting friends with similar sailing ideas and experience, and am doing so with this board. But am not considering it a "dating" board.

Mary


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I''m glad you had the guts to post your question on this subject. Especially since I''ve read a number of others along the same line and can''t help but notice that each posting has a large number of negative and critical replies. 

I think it''s great that there are happily married, happily single etc. sailors enjoying the sailing life out there but I also see that there is nothing wrong with asking if there are any sites out there that are geared more to sailing, outdoor adventure, and the like (and yes, I know, not obviously on message boards!) since there are not as many people into sailing as say...golfing,camping etc.,I think the question is valid.
I am looking for the same now that I''m newly single again and unfortunately the guy I broke it off with was going to sail with me. And trust me...not too many guys here in Cincinnati are into cruising! I just didn''t have the guts to ask what obviously many others are wondering.

Anyway, good luck to you and hey, if you find a legitimate answer to your question let me know!


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## efatzinger (Nov 30, 2000)

Good Question!
I have scoured the web lQQking for the same thing.
For me, finding someone to just go out sailing is no problem, but things can turn ugly when they realize sailing isn’t always leaning opened armed out over the bow pulpit, sunning, lounging, and having a cabin boy catering to them, bringing them drinks with little umbrellas sticking out of them.
Usually after a touch of sea sickness or maybe a small squall I find them waving goodbye with both their feet planted firmly ashore.
A few years ago I thought I had hit the jackpot when I was invited to teach women’s sailing seminars on the weekends. The thought of loading my boat down with girls who wanted to sail, and me being the only guy aboard was rather appealing. What I soon figured out is, I was teaching all the wives and girlfriends of men who didn’t have the willingness or patients to do so.
After a several month course there was always a big regatta. I would find myself an out of the way place to sit in the cockpit and let the girls take over (as if I had a choice). Bringing the boat across the finish line in first place a few times, beating out their husbands with their regular crews brought on a new confidence, complete with all the gloating rights. After awhile some of the husbands didn’t share the same enthusiasm (tired of getting their butt stomped by someone they were used to yelling orders at). Jealousy finally reared its ugly head and I figured this was my que to get out of teaching. Even though I found great rewards in doing this, it wasn’t quite what I had expected. (Meeting a nice unattached girl who loved to sail and travel)
I just recently purchase of a 45 foot ketch in Deltaville?, VA and plan to get her down around Aruba (destinations can always change) before hurricane season sets in. Using a regular crew is ok, but to be able and find that special someone to share the adventures with and crew together as a team is more to my likeing.
Ill be curious to see if anyone knows of such a sight.
Maybe Sailnet will read these postings and add a “sailing singles” bulletin board.
Happy Sailing,
DNG


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## efatzinger (Nov 30, 2000)

Sorry, my previous posting did not give my correct email. [email protected]


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I think that a special sailnet area for sailing singles would be great. As a woman sailing a 31 foot yawl I never have a hard time finding male crew but I it''s really tough finding one that cooks, can rebuild the head, mixes a good rummy and does bright work. Am I asking for too much? I guess I''ll just have to keep doing it myself. How does one influence the powers that be at sailnet to start a singles board?


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Dear, um, damnniceguy,

See! Exactly my point! Where you were not to be discounted as a cowboy for wanting to teach sailing to the female weak of wind, you perhaps started in the wrong place to find a single sailing partner. To prey on women wanting to learn to sail so that they might sail with their partners is certainly not an excusable career. Don''t grab onto a "women''s sailing seminar" looking for the single woman looking for the experience, and perhaps the first mate of her life. Does the "great rewards" you mentioned include messing around with a few of the attached women? 

There are men who can teach, and men who get involved, and the fact that you mentioned jealousy kinda involves the second. The fact that you stated that you considered it a "jackpot" concludes the statement.

There are plenty of women who have, I would assume, at least as much sailing experience as I do (a tad over 38,000 sea miles) who do not need ''teaching''. If you want to teach, teach, if you want a sailor, advertise for one locally. Being landlocked and having the yearly wanderlust set in, with the requests for deliveries coming weekly but having to turn them down cause I have a "good" job now (i.e. one that doesn''t pay as much in the long run as the deliveries for the time it takes but considering the time it would take to find another land job, plus health insurance...). 

So, good luck to you, but don''t prey on the attached.

Good winds and best wishes,
Mary


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## DamnNiceGuy (May 11, 2002)

Hi MarryBeth,
Not to worry, I wasn’t preying on defenseless nautically deprived females. I didn’t realize who I would be teaching (married and attached females) until I was already committed.
I try to behave myself as much as possible and avoid foreseen trouble as in messing with married females. The “GELOUSY” (as mentioned in my main posting) came from the girls crossing the finish line in front of their die hard racing, know it all, gods of the water, spouses. Not once, but several times. Once on dock it seemed more like payback gloating and rubbing their noses in it. These girls were out for blood and revenge! They had earned the right to yell a few of their own orders around while aboard and know what they were talking about. (Nautically speaking)
Any “NORMAL”, single (probably married as well), male sailor who knew he was going to have a boat load of women and he being the only guy on board would consider it a “JACKPOT” Come on MarryBeth, We’re guys, we’re dogs, ruthless to the core, we’re into that kinda thing.
The “Great Rewards” especially came when one of my students (who suffered from cerebral palsy) wanted nothing more than to learn and run the fore deck. Her boyfriend and father would never giver her the chance to do anything onboard except sit in the cockpit. Her and I spend many hours at dock on our own time learning. (yes, I learned allot from her as well) When we all loaded up and set out I threw a PFD and tether on her and let her loose. After a little practice finding her own techniques to suit her disability, she turned into one of the best fore deck hands out there.
As we rounded the mark it just so happened we were beam to beam with her father. He had no idea what we had been up to until he lQQked over. The shocking lQQk in his eyes when he saw his daughter throw the spinnaker and set the pole was priceless. 
After the race and once back at dock she started crying as she was overwhelmed with what she had just accomplished. The entire dock was a buzz and she was the center of attention. Her father came and shook my hand and thanked me. He said he was always too afraid to let her try something like that. 
Boating is like aviation, its always changing and there is always something new to learn. I love learning, new tricks and tips and ways to do things. I could care less if it’s a woman, man, child, or beast that’s teaching me, just as long as I’m learning something new.
Happy Sailing.
DNG


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## DamnNiceGuy (May 11, 2002)

Hey MaryBeth,
I forgot to mention, I am NOT a cowboy! I had a bad experience with a horse once. During my travels and especially abroad, once people realize I’m from Texas they always seem to think I know about horses. After awhile I figured ide best learn about them so I wouldn’t disappoint anyone else. I went out scouring the countryside until I found one of the four legged critters. I figured it was now or never and hopped on and things went very well for a while. Just as soon as I started feeling comfortable and thought I had this entire horse thing whipped, It started hopping and jumping all over the place. I was holding on for dear life but after awhile my grip soon gave way. As I fell head first to the ground my Nike got caught in the foot thingy. My head continued to bounce along the ground as the beast from hell showed no signs of slowing, much less stopping. Just as I had given up all hope of surviving the ordeal and started to loose consciousness, the wal-mart manager came out and unplugged it.
I’m more comfy on a boat,
Happy Sailings
DNG


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## DuaneIsing (Jul 10, 2001)

Hey, DNG,

From your last 2 posts, it''s obvious there was a lot more to your story than what might have first appeared. I didn''t take your first post the way MaryBeth did, but I''m not seeing things from her perspective.

The horse story was funny - had me going there for a sec.

What was nice about this thread is that it could easily have degenerated into a shouting match, but it didn''t.

Fair winds to all.

Duane


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Oh, DamnNice,

A "cowboy" is a guy who goes about sailing to his own ends. Beating his crew to death or ignoring safety needs, etc. I meant nothing about a horse, it''s a captain''s term. (Though I am also an accomplished horse rider since the age of 7. ). I quite often enjoyed beach rides in Little River, SC, where I used to live, and would often take my crew out for a ride when tensions ran high - if the boat wasn''t ready to go, or there were some paperwork problems, etc., delaying the departure. Was a way of bonding and having fun.

From the last few posts, seems I was too hard on you, poor baby. You should expect to be able to take advantage of a woman who knows nothing of sailing. I have watched too many women, tho, signing up for a class and learning that fending off refers to the instructor. Sorry if I was too hard on you.

You go guy,
Mary


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I am with you Mary. Who wants inexperienced crew? It's not easy finding an attractive well rounded woman who actually loves the water. Tom.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

i would love to find someone (female) to go sailing with. maybe i could learn from her. but i have no time, i am leaving for florida at the end of the month, so theres no time to look. where would you look anyway?


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

*Singlesailing on Yahoo*

There is a Yahoo group for single sailors. It has around 350 members from all across the world. Visit at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/singlessailing/


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## lonebull (Jun 10, 2006)

Joining Seven Seas or any local type of sailing association that meets frequently may help you find a mate with similar interest. At the very least you'll be entertained with all those great cocktail sea stories. Just like anywhere else, you'll meet all kinds. Wish you the best in your search.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

*Finding a sailing mate*

Some good ideas have been posted, though most of the Seven Seas Cruising folk I've met have been couples. Anyway, let me encourage you single ladies--and gentlemen.

I'm probably older than many of you and the pickin's seemed mightly slim to this lifetime sailor in search of a soulmate. But after meeting many frogs, I finally found my prince. When we met, we owned five sailboats between us. We still own four--three in NC and two in CA. And this fall, we're casting off our dock lines and heading as far around the world as we can get.

If none of the suggestions given here work, you might try what I did. I was VERY specific in the parameters I set forth. (For me, they were tall, Christian, sailor--I'm 5'11", my prince is 6'3". Yea! For you they will probably be different. Just figure out the things you really want and don't bother with folk who don't fit.) Just before I gave up the search (way too many frogs--most of them interested in groping instead of sailing), I tried a specific site and met someone I thought would just be a friend. After all, he was a continent away. Instead, we've now been married almost four years, and I never knew it could be so good.

Blessings to all of you and may you find the one designed just for you. It's incredibly fun when you do.

Normandie


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