# Starting them out



## FlightyDrifters (Dec 12, 2014)

I recently purchased our first SV, a Pearson 30, and look forward to taking my family out after the water turns liquid again in the spring. I am wondering how you all went about getting your kids involved? I am not so worried about my 11 y/o he takes an interest in anything I show interest in, and has already expressed excitement about going out. My 14 y/o on the other hand is a typical teenager and blythely responded "is there a place to hook up my Xbox and does it have wireless internet?" He is only allowed to play it on the weekends after chores are done so now he is worried "this boat thing" is gonna detract from his oh so important gaming time. Do you all have an tips or tricks to get teens interested and involved? Thanks


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## ccriders (Jul 8, 2006)

Blow up the Xbox?
John


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## FlightyDrifters (Dec 12, 2014)

don't think for one minute that hasn't crossed my mind a million times, we started off letting him play anytime he wanted as long as chores and school work were done, and that became an obvious mistake. I was in the military at the time, I would get home 7-8 at night and his mom wouldn't have heard or seen him accept for dinner, so I nipped that in the bud. Now he only gets to use it on the weekends after his chores are done. It was a gift from his grandparents in the first place, but the kid gets straight A's in school and gets glowing remarks about his behavior, so I pick my battles because when I was his age I sure as heck wasn't bringing home A's or had the best behavior!


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## TomMaine (Dec 21, 2010)

Great boat, the P30. Congrats! 

Don't set your sights too high on how much your family will get involved in sailing. 

I hate to say that but it comes from decades of watching families come into-and go out of sailing. I've seen many. 

When everybody starts young, it's much easier and in my experience, sailing is more likely to become a part of a families life(like most recreations). My family still lives sailing and we're all adults now. 

I'd let your older son bring whatever he thinks might interest him. Tougher to do on a boat but he might be able to bring some portable stuff. The idea being that you get him out there sailing and let him decide without feeling like he has to do it. 

Chances are he'll love it! The younger one already loves the idea by the sounds, as you point out. 

The rest is up to you. It might be easy and they take to it like fish to water. But for best results, you've gotta show them the best there is out there. Sail for them. 

Don't go too far, don't go beyond the capabilites of the least experienced family member to feel safe and secure. Combine the sailing with things onshore they love to do. 

I bet it works out well for you and your family, because you're asking.


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## FlightyDrifters (Dec 12, 2014)

We will be cruising the upper great lakes, the boys both love hiking and hitting the tourist traps, I am hoping when he sees that he can kick back, relax, and watch the coast line drift by during a trip to Mackinac Island, or Traverse City that he gets more into it, plus there is a little sibling rivalry. I just about guarantee that if he see's his younger brother helping, handling lines and maybe even taking the tiller he won't be able to resist.


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## christian.hess (Sep 18, 2013)

I just took out my 1.5 year old...my first sail with him and my wife..for the first time!

I felt so bad it took so long honestly

start young, like I did, and my dad did and my grandfather did...thats all I can try to do...

jajaja

we had a blast and the kid grabbed the tiller too!


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## SHNOOL (Jun 7, 2007)

I am by NO MEANs an expert parent, but lemme tell you my only experience.

My present wife is a "do-it-all" kind of woman.. She's extremely outdoorsy. She was raising her son essentially solo when I met her. He was about 11 yo. He was 100% into the gaming thing. Good kid, bright, and straight As, something they struggled early on with until they worked out a good way for him to study and such.

She field trials, which she went out of her way to get her son into... They bought a camper, so they could "Train" dogs. Training dogs was from ATV, in open fields... Hunting Dogs (Brittanys). It involved camping in the camper, running dogs from ATV. Weekend trials started for them when he was about 12-13... which was from horseback, but if he didn't want to do horseback riding and running dogs, there was always an ATV to ride behind on, to watch hunting dogs.

To me, this was about as ideal an environment for a young man one could ask for. The wife also took up shotgun and shooting skeet.. 

During all of this, the XBox came as a portable unit... he always did what she asked... he helped clean up, got paid to help. Was always a gentleman to others at the trials... but it just wasn't his thing. He didn't want to do any of the "fun" in it, riding horses, running dogs, or the like. Even riding the ATV wasn't really fun for him.

He's 22 now. Still a great kid, now a honors student at college, just about got his degree now, and soon doing an internship. He still spends as much spare time as possible behind that controller. He drives a manual tranmission car that HE's paying for, holds down 2 jobs to keep $$ in his pocket... and he cannot have a job when he does his internship so he's saving $$ for that and so far he has a decent amount saved up. He does this all while going full time to school. He has a girlfriend... and looks to be nearly on his way... meanwhile we live on 30 acres of woodland. We now have 3 horses on the property, and 7 dogs (which some come and go for training a dog shows)... We likely will have puppies sometime next year (we do that every 3 years or so so not often)... again great experiences right? He's seen nothing much more than the driveway, and the walls of his room.

NOPE, he'd rather game. Good news though, he's taken up a career involving video editing, and LOTS of computer work. He has a certain talent for it for sure.....

MY POINT? Everyone is different. I am not saying rationing the Xbox is wrong, but ultimately you cannot always force someone to enjoy other experiences. Shockingly some really don't enjoy it.

I'd have bet anything a young man would love hunting dogs, horses, fields, ATVs, shotguns, hunting...

Oh and since this is a sailing site.... I HAVE taken him sailing twice... and it just wasn't his thing. I had my Capri 22 at the time and for one of the sails I lost my outboard, winds were up pretty good too, probably 10-15 knots... not a lot but perhaps a lot for a newb, I dunno... But I sailed into the dock with a following wind, which was tricky at best (too fast coming in if you aren't careful).. but we did great... textbook in fact. But nothing.

Again... as a parent, you try to show your kids different things. Give them a decent exposure to those things... if you have to, mandate they TRY them.

So my daughter is 11, and we are going through some of this with her. She's kind of headed the other route. She loves the dogs. She's spent some time showing dogs at dog shows, she's learned to ride a horse, and thoroughly enjoys field trials and watching the dogs from horseback. She even spent 4 hours with me in some of the worst weather ever (cold driving rain at 40 degrees), watching dogs run from horseback. But she doesn't like the guns or the shotgun stuff.

As for sailing, she's been with me during some of our wildest races in the last 2 years. She's not happy unless we're surfing in our 25 footer, pushing the boat to the limit. Anything over 8 knots gets a rise outta her, and she starts to giggle some. She's otherwise bored with it, and wants to swim/anchor. I get it, I hate sailing slow too.

Every kid is different, and I dunno you can ever get them to love something if they don't. Good luck... chances are 1 kid will love it, the other won't. Just how it is.


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## christian.hess (Sep 18, 2013)

awesome post schnool you can only try however if my son wants to be an artist or darn dancing billy elliot who am I to stop him???

one thing Im trying to do and tell my wife is that its not in us to change what our kid wants to do(later on in life)

we wont fall into stubborness, and hell if my kid doesnt want to sail or my wife doesnt either then well, Ill deliver boats solo and or meet up with them every port around the world while I do the sailing or meet them at the club after a race or or or .....

thats life

really! jajajaja

peace guys


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## FlightyDrifters (Dec 12, 2014)

Thanks for the great reply Shnool, I see definite similarities in our stories. My oldest, the gamer, is in 8th grade, and has worked so hard in school that he is already taking college algebra in advanced courses, and is in his second year of French. He also is teaching himself coding and he beta tests games as part of an invite only crew of gamers. He is well on his way to a career in that field. I am encouraged by the fact that he doesn't have illusions of being "a professional gamer" he wants to design games. He started looking at colleges in 6th grade and insists he wants to go to either MIT or Duke for computer engineering.

I have also tried getting him out hunting and fishing with me, no dice. It doesn't matter what it is outside. There are 3 things that get him outside paintball, airsoft and the ATV's, he will drop the controller in a minute if I say lets grab the airsoft guns. I served 12 yrs in the Marine Corps and until he got the Xbox he would say he was gonna be a Marine too, to which I replied oh heck no you aren't. If we let him he would ride trails all day long in the side by side.

We are planning on sailing this summer from our home in Sault Ste Marie down to Mackinac Island, then through Georgian Bay on the Canadian side. If we have time we want to then head across to Beaver Island and the Manitou Islands in Lake Michigan. I am considering letting him bring the XBox and just trade time, he gets a little game time for a little family time, but he isn't going to have internet so I don't think he realizes yet that he won't be connected to his game crew. I am making him take the ASA 103/104 and 106 classes with me though and I am thinking about both of us taking 105 too, so at least I have one other person on the boat that has the knowledge and ability, god forbid something were to happen while we were on the open lakes.


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## christian.hess (Sep 18, 2013)

any christmas sailing op?

I gotta say

1.5 years olds arent the best at starting something new...we are having a very difficult time...he gets bored however likes it for briefs seconds, holds the tiller, walks around in the cabin even in deck he gets excited

if anyone has tips please SHARE or redirect

happy holidays


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