# Your best comfort advise



## Boondoggle30 (Mar 11, 2009)

We are a new sailing family with a very broad question. With only one year under our belt, I am looking for your best advise on how to keep the family comfortable. In both sailing and life I have learned "happy wife, happy life". We have three boys (3mos, 2yrs & 10yr). I am an experienced camper but just can't seem to crack the nut on making things "comfortable" while aboard. I don't expect an instant formula, but I see so many experienced families with really cool ideas. I know experience will teach, but learning from others is always good. 
I think our first mistake last year was that our boat (columbia 30) came with one of everything! That however was overwhelming as we had no idea what we were doing and further how to even use most of the toys!
This year my plan is to strip all the frills and start basic. We cut our teeth pretty good on sailing basics Last year but still lots to learn. 
I'm just looking for tested methods and simple tricks of the trade that ahve made your family outtings/weekends more pleasureable. Looking at equipment, routines and the likes. Pretty resiliant and understanding family, but I want to set the conditions for success. It's easy to say "keep it simple" but your experience let's you do that... For the less experienced that takes time and guidance. 
Thanks. Al.


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## IslanderGuy (Apr 26, 2008)

Hi Al, 

We started sailing 5 years ago when our girls where 4 and 5 on a smaller boat, and now sail on a 32 foot Islander with the girls at 9 and 10.

When moving to a little larger boat, our main concern was having "a space for everyone." (Dedicated berths) It was tough to find without moving up to a 40+ foot boat, which financially was not reasonable, but we finally found a boat we liked with dual quarter berths for the girls and a V-berth for us.

Having three, this would be more difficult, and as you have a boat already, not to helpful, but a space for everyone's things might still be important. A cubby, drawer, etc for each kid to put their personal things (books, toys, collected beach treasures, etc) which they can fill up with whatever they want is good. Our basic rules is as long as it does not smell, and they can store it in thir space, it can come aboard. I think this really helps mentally to have their own space, even if it is not a whole berth.

Another thing we did last summer was to ask the girls to think about changes they wanted while we where out on a trip. What do THEY want me to work on? 

This took a while for them to really understand as they tend to accept things the way they are, but with a few suggestions, they got it figured out. 

The biggest thing they wanted was padding on the "bonkheads", the part of the bulkhead the quarter berth runs through which they continually bonk there heads on (this term has expanded to be lots of head bonking items on the boat.)

Second was good reading lights in there berths. Some other things they can up with were lockers that come open when and dump stuff while sailing, sticky drawers and doors, etc. Small things that I knew bugged me, but I could live with. I did not realize that some of these small items where issues for the kids too, and can make a big difference in there happiness on a trip whether they would have thought to mention them or not.

Stereo with CD player for music and audio books was a great addition for them as well.

Hope this makes sense and is at least a little helpful for you.

Happy sailing,
Bryan


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## IslanderGuy (Apr 26, 2008)

Another thought, not directly comfort related, but happiness related...

Whenever possible, we like to include the kids in choices of where we go and what we do. It can get... interesting... when they disagree, but usually we can work something out. We have had the boat in Olympia Washington for the last few years, and there where several good places to go for weekend trips. We made it a point to include the girls in deciding what our destination would be.

Also, if we where out and the sailing was slow, we would ask them if they thought we should kick on the motor and just get there noisily, or if we should keep sailing and get in later, perhaps not exploring the island until the next day. Or sometimes they would get tired halfway to our chosen destination, and we would ask "Would you rather just head over to Hope Island? we could be there in an hour, versus 3 hours if we keep going..."

Of course we could not always make them both happy, and many times we made the final decision, going against both of their inputs, but giving them input, and following it often goes a long way to making the trip a family affair rather then being dragged along with mom and dad.

Hope this helps to... 
Bryan


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## Mechsmith (Jun 7, 2009)

Go out on pretty days. Stay off sea sickness producing waters. Use a marina or campground with showers for the first overnighter. Use grinders-submarines-heros for meals. Soups are good. Cola drinks also settle tummys. Ginger snaps for snacks. Let everybody drive.
Once I cured a case of incipent seasickness by having her (17 yrs.old) take the wheel into smoother water. One is less likley to get sick while steering. Stay within sight of land for a while. It's comforting for a beginner. Anxieties about being lost at sea with her whole family aboard isn't good for Mom.Taking turns (watches) will keep the kids interested. Go someplace. Having a goal is easier for kids. 

For me there is an inexpensive campground with slips about six hours away on the other side of a lock. That has always been a good first trip for my crew. Momma is much happier after a hot shower. Kids like campgrounds generally, and were quite thrilled with the lock and dam.


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## Boondoggle30 (Mar 11, 2009)

Excellent advise from all. We actually can afford to "assgn space" and the ten yr old already agrees - seniority has privelages. The snacks is another common theme I have heard - again keeping it simple. I found ncluding the youngns in crewing really worked, my lack of experience made that tense for mom but every trip got better. 
What are your thoughts on harnesses on kids? Last year the then 1 year old HATED his SOLAS PFd. We were adamant and forced him to keep it on. I have been reading here and am considering a harness and safety netting this year. The 10 ur old has a good quality pfd he wears w/o issue and supervision is not an issue, but comfort has to be a factor. Of course this Practice is situation dependant. 
I also like the have a destination idea. Goes with the "how much farther" syndrome. All on all.... Not a bad challenge to face -going sailing with a view to making your family happy?!!


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

If you plan on sleeping on board a lot (which it sounds like you do) a comfortable mattress is good to have. We sleep on board every weekend and my wife's wish list for this year is a high quality innerspring mattress.
A well equipped and functioning galley is another plus.<O</O
Remember a well feed crew is a happy crew and nothing beats a nice meal on board.<O></O>
<O</O


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## tager (Nov 21, 2008)

Pocket warmers, beanies, a cabin heater, thick socks and beanies are good things to have. Even in summer. 

Another thing that makes a boat comfortable is a cozy cabin. Dedicate some places to storage and the rest of the boat becomes much more comfortable.


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## bljones (Oct 13, 2008)

Boondoggle30 said:


> We are a new sailing family with a very broad question. With only one year under our belt, I am looking for your best advise on how to keep the family comfortable. In both sailing and life I have learned "happy wife, happy life". We have three boys (3mos, 2yrs & 10yr). I am an experienced camper but just can't seem to crack the nut on making things "comfortable" while aboard. I don't expect an instant formula, but I see so many experienced families with really cool ideas. I know experience will teach, but learning from others is always good.
> I think our first mistake last year was that our boat (columbia 30) came with one of everything! That however was overwhelming as we had no idea what we were doing and further how to even use most of the toys!
> This year my plan is to strip all the frills and start basic. We cut our teeth pretty good on sailing basics Last year but still lots to learn.
> I'm just looking for tested methods and simple tricks of the trade that ahve made your family outtings/weekends more pleasureable. Looking at equipment, routines and the likes. Pretty resiliant and understanding family, but I want to set the conditions for success. It's easy to say "keep it simple" but your experience let's you do that... For the less experienced that takes time and guidance.
> Thanks. Al.


 I see a couple of possible issues, one easy to address, the other one maybe not so much.
The easy one: With your boat and your family it doesn't sound like space is an issue, but maybe space allocation is. At the beginning of the season, pull EVERYTHING out of the various cabinets, drawers, cubbies and holes that are FULL of stuff. Now, determine what you actually need. Travelling with babies you need diapers, but do you need to have a whole box of them, for example. Toilet paper is another thing that takes up a lot of unnecessary space, Unless you live on your boat, you don't need to have ten rolls of paper, but it always seems like that is how many end up on board. Strip down the unessentials, BUT don't get rid of the essentials, like tools and spares. Buy and use gear hammocks, a great way to store gear, clothes, food, etc. I highly recommend picking up a copy of Don Casey's This Old Boat. There are tons of great ideas on storage and general boat stuff in the book.

The tougher one: The family confidence level. Comfort is directly related to confidence, and if you aren't confident in your crew and they aren't confident in you, ain't nobody having any fun and this is supposed to be fun, dammit! take the first few sails in the season without the kids. Focus on becoming a team with your wife, and trade off boatkeeping and sailing tasks. It can be a real challenge to try to learn how to sail a new boat while trying to manage kids as well, and the tension can ruin what could be a great sailing day.


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## IslanderGuy (Apr 26, 2008)

bljones said:


> Take the first few sails in the season without the kids. Focus on becoming a team with your wife, and trade off boatkeeping and sailing tasks.


Agreed, and make sure both of you learn to sail and handle the boat. Even if you get good at it, she will be much more confident if she understands whats going on and can do it herself, even when she is not directly involved.

For instance, my wife was much more concerned about docking, even though she was not doing it until she learned to do it herself. Then she got a good feel for speed, direction, how the boat stops (or doesn't) and she became much more relaxed even when she is doing something else and I am bring the boat into a doc by myself.


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## jrd22 (Nov 14, 2000)

IslanderGuy said:


> Hi Al,
> 
> The biggest thing they wanted was padding on the "bonkheads", the part of the bulkhead the quarter berth runs through which they continually bonk there heads on (this term has expanded to be lots of head bonking items on the boat.)
> 
> Bryan


:laugher :laugher :laugher :laugher :laugher 
Oh, that's priceless, I love it. Bonkheads has now become a standard term aboard Laurie Anne. Thanks, needed a good laugh.

As far as comfort items go we really like those cushions that fold in the middle and can form a seat at any angle (forget what they are called, WM sells them) while at anchor. Five of them makes storage a problem for you, but maybe kids that young don't sit down long enough to want them anyway .


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## IslanderGuy (Apr 26, 2008)

Boondoggle30 said:


> What are your thoughts on harnesses on kids? Last year the then 1 year old HATED his SOLAS PFd. We were adamant and forced him to keep it on. I have been reading here and am considering a harness and safety netting this year.


Lifeline netting is WONDERFUL in my opinion. Such an added safety when the kids are walking around on deck, even when docked. I also like it for various other reasons, keeps the sail on the foredeck better when raising and lowering (no roller furling on my boat at the moment) Helps keep jackets and other things from flying overboard if the wind catches them, etc.

We have kid harnesses, but have not used them a whole lot. The kids really do not like them. If the wind is up, we require them to use them, but they usually opt to stay below instead. We have been very lucky in the PDF department, both kids do not mind them at all and will often wear them hiking around or even to the store in town.  Sometimes I can not get them to take them off! Odd. Not sure how that happened.


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## Boondoggle30 (Mar 11, 2009)

More good reading Thanks.

Bl - exactly what we are thinking. Strip contents down so we actually know where the heck everything is and put it where WE want it rather than previous owners. 
The confidence issue is definately part of it. Yes people don't relax if they keep wondering if I'm going to sink us! Unfortunately only timefixes that.

Tjk1 - yes I think next to a good hot meal, the end of a long day must be on a comfortable matress. I have considered foam rolls to bulk up the existing padding but when not in use they take up too mch space. Will have to look at more options. 

We definately need to refine our storage and organization. Priorities... And no excessve toilet paper! It tough to reorg though when you have nothing to compare to - thus this thread.

Thanks again for all the great info. Keep it coming!


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## JohnRPollard (Mar 26, 2007)

We are a family of five on a 31 footer (plus a dog now). So I know about the tight space issues. 

Two of the biggest comfort improvements we made to our boat were:

1) Custom fitted cockpit cushions. We'd had some off-the shelf foam pads, but they always slid around. Custom fitted cushions made the cockpit much more inviting and comfortable for lounging/napping. 

2) Cabin heat. Completely changes the mood in the early and late seasons.

Some things that came with the boat which I wouldn't be without were the dodger, bimini, and integral awning. Combined with the cockpit cushions, it's like having another "room."

Also, we use a lot of camping gear for it's compact, space saving attributes. As a camper, you know all about that stuff, though. But individual headlamps are great as night/reading lights. Buy a set to leave aboard and hang over the bunks. The kind that have the optional red light or filter are handy for preserving night vision.

Another important one is a good set of binoculars, along with a good birdbook. Lots of fun to be had with those...


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## IslanderGuy (Apr 26, 2008)

Boondoggle30 said:


> More good reading Thanks.
> I have considered foam rolls to bulk up the existing padding but when not in use they take up too mch space. Will have to look at more options.


Memory foam mattress toppers work wonders for not too much cost. We got one cheap at Walmart and cut it to size. In hind sight I should have went for a slightly higher quality one, but this one has been good. Just be sure it will be big enough for the v-birth. We cut it in two sections, one for each side which made better use of the square size. We leave this on all the time as it is not excessively thick.

I have seen blogs of people who take a real mattress and cut it up, rewiring the springs and such. Looks like a great thing to do and the best option if you have the time, money, and vertical space above the bunks, none of which I have had yet. I might consider it in the future as we are looking at a long trip, but the vertical space might not allow for it. The memory foam has done wonders so far.


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## tomwatt (Dec 11, 2009)

Therma-Rest inflatable mattress pads. Not only do they blow up to form a wonderful comfort layer, they can be deflated and rolled tightly to create a fairly small cube. There are opportunities for "factory seconds" to save $$ and also some off-brand versions, so it's not necessary that these be a huge expense.


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

IslanderGuy said:


> Memory foam mattress toppers work wonders............ The memory foam has done wonders so far.


I agree with you. Some of the best money we ever spent on the boat.


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## damies (Jul 8, 2009)

*ventilation*



tager said:


> Pocket warmers, beanies, a cabin heater, thick socks and beanies are good things to have. Even in summer.
> 
> Another thing that makes a boat comfortable is a cozy cabin. Dedicate some places to storage and the rest of the boat becomes much more comfortable.


Well you must live somewhere much colder than I... I don't even consider wearing a beanie in winter.

Along that train of thought though, if you live in a warmer climate, good ventilation is important so the cabin is bearable. Don't rely just on hatches for ventilation, cause when you get a squall come over is when you need the ventilation most and is also when you'll want the hatch closed to stay dry. I used these Nylon Dorade Vent, and already had one of these Solar Exhaust Vent - White. I removed these Mushroom Vent which I found provided no ventilation at all.

Hope that helpful.

Dave.


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## St Anna (Mar 15, 2003)

_Our thoughts;_
safe, fast yacht
cruiser mentality
flat non-rolling anchorages
oversized anchor and chain
memory foam mattress top
insect screens
dry boat
engine (& outboard) that starts first time, every time
genset for watermaker, washing machine, battery charger etc etc
small bean bags for cockpit
never ending supply of fresh water
good ventilation. homemade windscoops
pet onboard
HF to gas bag with friends wherever
big fridge
cleanskin wine/beer / duty free liquor
double brie cheese
lots of chocolate
sweets / deserts etc
big inflateable dinghy
enough unearned income to pay the bills without you being aware they were due
ability and confidence to fix engine/sails/rig/ most medical/ carpentry
waterproof camera
ability to catch dinner
enough Ah to watch enough DVD's when you are stuck at an anchorage
wife/partner to share it all ( should have been higher on the list - I know - goes with Good Cook!)

etc etc


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## damies (Jul 8, 2009)

St Anna said:


> _Our thoughts;_
> insect screens


I agree 100% on this one, I put fly screen in the vents I mentioned before.



> dry boat
> cleanskin wine/beer / duty free liquor


Doesn't one cancel out the other? 



> double brie cheese


All yours.... cheese doesn't like me.



> good ventilation. homemade windscoops


Have you got pictures of those windscoops? How well do they work with heavy rain?

Dave.


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## St Anna (Mar 15, 2003)

damies said:


> Have you got pictures of those windscoops? How well do they work with heavy rain?
> 
> Dave.


 Hi Dave
In heavy rain, I put up a small polytarp over the hatch. Usually get enough wind through.

I keep 3 diff size polytarps.

The windscoop was patterned of an old purchased one which had died. It depends on the size of the hatch as well.

For light winds a box kite shape works well. Ours look like a spinaker.


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## Boondoggle30 (Mar 11, 2009)

I readagood article in Good Old Boat mag which highlighted ventalation. I will be adding a solar vent on the head and galley this spring. Are they hardto install? I'm handy but cuttng into cabin makes me nervous. 
That and some much needed running maint on engine...


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## QuickMick (Oct 15, 2009)

While there are always many diversions (and chores/projects) aboard, I did recently purchase a HD antenne for my laptop... it is nice to occasionally see the news, watch some olympics etc.. obviously not a neccessity but for 50 bucks worth it... heck and i dont even have kids! lol.


i also opted for microwave inside, propane grill in the cockpit... not to say gimballed stoves arent safe, but im pretty sure fiberglass is flammable and they just make me a bit edgy for some reason.

best of luck, Quinn


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## CaptainForce (Jan 1, 2006)

We moved aboard five years before we had children; raised our two kids aboard until they left for college; and now have lived aboard for the last 13 years as "empty-nesters". I would only add that it would be wise to keep the spaces on your boat adaptable for general use. By this I mean, if you have four individualized spaces on your boat; then, it would be wise to have the ability to sleep, watch tv, read, use a computer, eat, do homework, or whatever activiy in any of those spaces. By this, I don't necessarily mean the redundancy of devices, i.e. computers or TV's, but the flexibility of use for the space. We also felt that our children did best having their own private space, despite how small. As a result of this our daughter, when moving into the college dorm room, had to hang sheets around her bed in order to sleep in the huge cavernous space! 'take care and joy, Aythya crew


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