# Her first time



## cardiacpaul

One of the S/O’s first experiences on a sailboat. 


We were leaving a marina around 10:00pm, wind about 20kts. No moon, blacker than the inside of a cow. 

The jib got fouled, so I went up front to douse it. 

I should state now that my uncorrected vision is about the same as an eastern mole. It’s in the general neighborhood of 20/800. script says -9.5. I’m freakin’ blind without my glasses ok? 

So, as I’m making way to the bow, the jib slaps me in the chops and my glasses fly about 20 feet out over the bow. Not good. Not good at all. There is a new Mr. Limpett at the bottom. Just great. No, I did not have another pair, no, I did not have one of those around your head thingys, gimme a break willya?

I get the offending canvas strapped down, and make my way back to the cockpit on hands and knees. 

I calmly say to the newly appointed Captain of the ship “You’re going to have to take us back in”.

Now, she’s been on stinkboats, speedboats, commercial fishing vessels and the like, but this was her second time out on a sailboat, first time at night, and first time she’s ever manned a tiller. She loves being on the boat, the calm, the sun, the relaxation. She’s able to tan away across the lazarette with the current crime novel and laze the day away. She didn’t sign up for any of this. 

Her response was less than cordial, I remember her making vague references to my parentage, being dumber than a bag of hammers, and quite a bit more, only I didn’t understand all that much, ‘cuz she’s Cuban, and cusses at me in Spanish. 

Her next response was to grab the cell phone and state that she was going to call one of our friends. I told her that he couldn’t do much more than stand at the dark marina dock and yell instructions that she couldn’t hear or understand. She was just going to have to suck it up and do it. 

After a cursory lesson in navigation “look for the green and red lights, just keep it between those, ok?” and piloting, “if you want to go left, push the tiller away from you, if you want to go right, pull it close to you” (didn’t think now was the time for port and starboard).

The plan was to motor the 1000 yards back into the marina, tie off and begin again in the AM. Good plan. 

I can see fuzzy light spots that are the marina and a brighter fuzzy light that is the gas dock sign, beyond that, I’m worthless. 

We get the boat headed in that general direction, this also gives her time to practice with the tiller, turning the boat this way and that. All in all, she’s got the hang of it. Kinda. Sorta, not really, but we’re goin’ for it. 

This wasn’t going to be pretty, because the marina has over 800 slips, the sailboat docks are past all of the enclosed slips and it’s a bit of a serpentine crawl to get to them. 

We’re in forward gear, at idle, and I’m slipping it in and out just to maintain forward motion, I don’t care how long it takes, as long as we get back safely. 

Finally, we make the breakwater and in an instant, she feels we’re too close and tells me we’re going to hit it. I grab the tiller and pull it far to port, and the boat spins a 360 in its own length. This is good. She can now practice “hard object avoidance procedure number 1”. 

Making our way thru the labyrinth, procedure number 1 will be repeated numerous times. There are many half million dollar motorized floating condos in slips and my insurance won’t cover stupidity. 

Amazingly, there are no drunken partiers awake to point her in a direction to a safe harbor, so we’re still on our own.

Finally, I can make out the outline to the closed gas dock and I tell her to head for one of the docks there.

We’re approaching the dock, and we’re making a bit too much steam, so once again, procedure number one is employed, twice, I think. We must have looked like morons, I didn’t care, we were close. 

Again, we approach, slowly, not quite slowly enough, reverse is engaged, engine revved, we’re slowing down. Good. We’re all lined up, all I have to do is cast the dock line and hit that cleat. 

Damn, missed it.
In a millisecond of absolute brilliance, I grab the docking post. 
Moron. 
Did you know its rather difficult to stop a 10000 lb boat going less than a knot using nothing but your flesh? Yea, I know better but it seemed like a wonderful idea at the time. 

Fortunately, I was able to get a dock line secured. All ahead stop, life is good. Minor scarring to the ribcage. 

Save for one thing, she is pissed. I mean really pissed. She was seriously contemplating the”He fell overboard and I couldn’t find him, I looked, really I did officer” alibi. Can’t say as I blamed her much. 

Ok, so we’re on the closed gas dock and now we have to hike it about a mile via roadway to where the sailboats and some friends of ours are spending the night. Don’t ask why we didn’t call them, we didn’t know their cell number. 

I’m still blind, and she’s got hold of my arm like a petulant 6 year old, guiding me as we’re walking to the sail docks. She’s really not happy. I’m trying my best to keep it light, but she’s having none of that. All I can say is, don’t piss off a Cuban woman. 

We make it to the sail docks and I knock on one of our friends boats, he pops his head out of the hatch with Rolling Rock in hand. We explain our situation, and he answers without missing a beat, “Bummer, whacha gonna do”?

He drives us in his truck back to our boat and pilots her into the slip next to his, while she drives the truck back to the dock and we retire for the evening. 

It was mighty chilly in the v-berth that evening. 

Come first light, we still have the same problem, I’m blind as the proverbial bat, and she’s got almost no experience whatsoever, unless you count last nights adventure. 

A-Ha! Brain storm. (ok, it was by-chance accident) I found that if I use the binoculars, I can SEE! Clear unobstructed vision, Life is Good. All is right with the world. Everything looks like it’s a football field away, but that football field is as sharp as a tack. 

We motor back to our marina without incident, dock like we knew what we were doing, load up and she drives home. 

Moral of the story, have two pair of specs. Staple them to your head. Use that goofy, geeky around your head thingy to keep them on as well. And don’t piss off a Cuban woman.


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## sailingdog

LOL, you were very lucky to get away with so little damage... especially after pissing off your s/o... There's no percentage in pissing off your s/o, especially if you're handicapped by not having your glasses at the time.

I am guessing that you've got a brand new pair of Croakies on the replacement glasses of yours.  I'd keep a second pair aboard just in case.

BTW, you should probably have taught her the basics of manuevering your sailboat under power, for just such an emergency....

If you had fallen overboard instead of just your glasses, what could she have done? If you're sailing singlehanded-ie, *without a crew that can get you back on the boat*-make sure you've got everything you need setup so that it can't leave the boat. That includes your glasses in your case, since you're way past legally blind without them.


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## cardiacpaul

*lesson well learned.*

I have the croakies, and a second pair of spec's.
She now has experience, and is able bodied. 
She does however insist I attach a lifeline. I wonder why she keeps tieing around my neck.


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## sailingdog

Uhh...that's to keep your head above water, so you don't drown... Yeah...that's it.. If she's the beneficiary of your life insurance, you might want to re-think sailing with her.


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## TrueBlue

Kinda like the sailing scene in "Sleeping with the Enemy" . . . only with the roles reversed.

BTW Paul, that hematoma's gotta hurt.


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## sailingdog

Can't be that bad... he's standing fairly upright and it hasn't turned black & blue. If it were a really serious hit...he'd be having a much tougher time standing upright, and it'd be much more colorful.


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## TrueBlue

Maybe we can convince him to post a topless picture of his hot tempered Cuban s/o.


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## cardiacpaul

*whats life insurance?*

everytime I call about coverage, the person on the other end drops the phone and all I hear is hysterical laughter... (theres a reason my name is "cardiac", I've had 4 MI's) 
The war wound didn't hurt at all actually, but 6 months later, I still have the scar.


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## sailingdog

If he gets caught doing that...I'm sure she'll be heaving him overboard without a lifejacket very shortly thereafter...


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## sailingdog

cardiacpaul said:


> everytime I call about coverage, the person on the other end drops the phone and all I hear is hysterical laughter... (theres a reason my name is "cardiac", I've had 4 MI's)
> The war wound didn't hurt at all actually, but 6 months later, I still have the scar.


LOL, all you hear is laughter.. you're getting off easy.


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## sidiag

*Note to self*

Investigate LASIC Eye Surgery prior to doing the "Big Trip"


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## cardiacpaul

*no topless ones here...*

she'd have my carcass drawn, quartered and made into chorizo before nightfall. this is the best i can do.


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## TrueBlue

I can see why you put up with her hot temper


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## cardiacpaul

general consensus of opinion is that its her, putting up with me


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## sailingdog

cardiacpaul said:


> general consensus of opinion is that its her, putting up with me


That's the part that has me puzzled...


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## CharlieCobra

I'd buy that for a dollar, sorry, couldn't resist. Good lookin' woman. Reason enough to put up with the temper.


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## cardiacpaul

*the only other "cuban approved" pic I'm allowed to post*

its ok to post this one


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## sailingdog

Smart man, getting her approval before posting the photos... she has you well trained.


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## cardiacpaul

I'm not very smart, but I can lift heavy things.


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## sailingdog

Are you saying your Cubana S/O is heavy? That's a risky move...and you were doing so well.... LOL


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## seabreeze_97

We really need to get this whole Cuban embargo thing worked out!


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## chrondi

Cardiacpaul, are you sure these pretty looking women have anything to do with ... *Cuba*?


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## cardiacpaul

*Uh, yea...*

her dad was imprisoned in Cuba when Castro came to power, when released, 40 family members piled into a 28ft boat for the 90 mile trip.


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## TSOJOURNER

*what kind of a person . . .*

asks for a topless picture of someone's girl firend? I thought this site was about sailing. Grow up!

As for the original poster, you seem to realize just how fortunate you are to have not only a lovely lady, but one who is also extremely tolerant. Once again, proves to me how much more fair the fairer sex is. But to be honest, I don't know if I would want my s/o to post ANY kind of pics of me online for randy old salts to drool over. I hope you asked permission first.

Just a view from the female perspective here.


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## cardiacpaul

*approvals*

The request for topless pics was all in good fun, no harm done. 
I'm not as dumb as I look, all pics of The Cuban have been approved for 
human consumption.


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## Timeless

I'm going to Cuba! ASAP.


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## CharlieCobra

Yeah, the embargo thing needs to go away. Ya gotta go to Mexico or Canada to get a good stogie.


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## cardiacpaul

update: the details above have changed a bit (memories being what they are) her older sisters have started to put together their collective memories of the "adventure" of get this, 44 people in a 27 ft fishing boat. Some of the more interesting statements made from 1963. 

"Mima told me that those were whales following us"
response from sister... "Mima told us to tell you that, those were sharks, you idiot" 

another one...
"A man saw a boat coming toward us, he couldn't tell if it was russian or U.S. he said "If its Russian, I'm going over the side, I will not be returned to Cuba"

I'll be posting a link to a photobucket site in a few minutes that has jpgs of a document that one of the sisters wrote for a high school paper in 1970. Simply amazing. 

In this family, there are three RN's, one Architect, a Auto Dealership owner (Saturn), A publisher of the largest spanish language newspaper in new england (oh, that one has an emmy for local television programming, too) and a CPA. 

One of the things that really chaps their behind is the US's immigration policy. They wholeheartly believe that if you're not here legally, you should, in a nutshell, be flogged, and returned poste haste from whence you came. 
One sister said, " if they don't obey the laws of this land to get here legally, would you trust them follow any law?"


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## cardiacpaul

heres the link,

http://s32.photobucket.com/albums/d43/cardiacpaul/cuba/

from another sister:

Ok, here's what I remember.

He planned this trip for about a year and a half, he got the idea after he taken away. He made the mistake of telling me that we were leaving Cuba, but not to tell anyone, of course that within 2-3 days all my friends knew we were leaving, that we were "gusanos" (anti revolutionaries, literary means "worms"). It was cool to say that you were leaving the country, he didn't know that I innocently jeopardized our safety until a few years ago. About a month before we left we made a special trip to Oriente province to say goodbye to our relatives. My mom was very torn, but when he said that if she didn't go, he was going to take us anyway, then she made her choice. The day of the trip he left for a "fishing trip", as he had already established this pattern of going out on Friday, or Sat nights so as not to raise suspicions. We were picked up at out house by my uncle/cousin Pepito early evening, then we met everyone, (I don't remember if you guys were there too) at this house of one of the people coming with us. Some doctor, or dentist, I forget, it was a very fancy house; all the children, and there were many of us, were given a mild sedative, grown ups ate dinner, and waited around for the time to go. When it was deemed right, we all piled into cars, drove for what seemed hours to a very rocky beach where we all waited with hearts at our throats, looking out to the ocean, waiting for Dad's signal. I remember the waves hitting the rocks, and me thinking how was the boat going to pick us without hitting the rocks. After a while the men in our group started signaling at whom they thought was Dad, only to realize later that it wasn't. Almost simultaneously, Dad did start signaling us from another spot, everyone thought that we were going to be found out, but whoever it was that was signaling us didn't report it. About a week before our trip, it was in the news that a family escaping had all been killed, shot at when they were discovered, so needless to say, this was a hair raising experience. Everyone managed to get onto boat finally, and off we went.

I think it was something like 18 children, and 26-28 adults. Emelina, Dad, and you guys were on one end, Mami, Maria, and I in the other. After a few hours a lot of people became seasick, I remember vomiting so hard, that I almost fell overboard, was literary grabbed just in time, therefore I, like Dalia, also have aqua phobia, never have learned how to swim. If someone had a nature call, 2-3 people held a sheet around them so that they would have some privacy. A plane did fly by eventually, we were using mirrors to catch it's attention, by then we had no fuel, didn't exactly know how far we were from USA, and there were a lot of sharks in the water, no whales in the Caribbean, Daisy. 
We left approx at 2:30 am, by around 12:00 pm or so, we saw a big ship in the distance, we hoped that it wasn't Russian, as it was common in those days to have a lot of commerce between Cuba and Russia, we didn't know. In fact, the ship did turn out to be Russian, and we had been trying to get their attention, but they either didn't see us, or God saved us again, and they ignored us. Hours later we did see the Hess Diesel ship, again, we were afraid at first, but this time it was the right one. They were absolutely thrilled to see us, almost as thrilled as we were, they threw down the rope ladders, and the sailors helped us all on board. I remember they took us to a huge dining room, and fed us all kinds of cold cuts, salads, breads, and lots, and lots of boiled eggs, to this day, I'm not exactly fond of boiled eggs. They took such delight in seeing us eat this stuff. Now keep in mind that none of this stuff was to be found in Cuba by then, so we were delighted. Then we had the run of the ship, I remember hanging close to Dalia, she of course, started flirting with the sailors, so we got even more special treatment. She was quite the beauty in those days, I idolized her, wanted to be just like her.

In the late evening, the coast guard came in their boats to pick us up, they took us to Key West, then from there we were put on buses, and taken straight to the INS building in Miami. Here they gave us all immunizations, gave us our green card, put us up in an old hotel in Miami Beach that I thought was so cool. I remember that here Milagros, Guinge's wife, taught me how to blow a bubble with bubble gum. It's amazing what a kid will remember; I also remember experiencing racism for the first time in my life, I noticed that all the housekeepers, and the elevator valet were black, and that they never looked you in the eye, they kept their heads down as they did their work. I also remember seeing all the blacks sitting in the back of the bus in those days. The south was still heavily segregated in 1963. Amazing!!!

Within 2-3 days, they helped us get apts in Miami. We ended up living above a bar on 17th Ave and Flagler, I'll never forget it, it was very colorful to say the least, we'd look out the window and see nightly fights, the drunks used to come upstairs and use the only bathroom there was, yuk, we shared this with them. Here, also, Maria and I came down with chickenpox about 2 weeks after we came over. I also remember going to see the ship, and some of those sailors remembered us years later in Boston.

I, like Maria, will always be thankful to my Dad for bringing us over, I think it took a lot of courage, as well as intelligence, and cunning to not only plan this trip, but carry out successfully while risking so many lives. I do think that was his greatest moment.


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## cardiacpaul

_questions some other family members have asked, and the answers.

Did the kids play with one another? _ 
If you're asking before we left, I don't remember. On the boat...the answer is no. We were so crowded, we couldn't move.

_You started the journey at 2:30 AM. How long were you all on the boat?_ 
I remember Mima saying it was around a day and a half before we were picked up. Although she told us that those things following us were whales too, so who knows. Others can probably tell you in more detail.

_What are P.T. boats?_

Dalia answered this one. I do remember they looked beautiful to me. It was ironic that they wouldn't allow more than, I think, seven of us on each boat and they put life vests on us that were extremely bulky. They did treat us like precious cargo. I seem to recall that as I saw them coming, one was different....I think it was painted black or something like that. For some reason, it didn't seem to me like it was rocking as much  so as we stood on the deck of the ship waiting to be lowered down, I pushed myself to the front of the line to make sure I got on that one. I got separated from our family but Tio Guingue, Milagros (his wife) and whatever kid or kids they had, were on board. I remember being taken downstairs to the galley and sitting on one of the dining benches. I didn't see the rest of the family until they got off their boat in Miami. Then, I remember we were all put on a bus and looking out the window, everything seemed so strange to me. I know this was late at night.

_How old were you when you left Cuba?_

I was 9. You know, I've never remembered being scared.


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## Cruisingdad

WOW, CP! WHat a story. I remember bringing this up in a thread to a Canadian a while back about the effects of mentioning Castro to the S FL Cubans. Most people have no idea what they (and your family) went through.

Incredible story. Thanks for sharing.

- CD


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## cardiacpaul

Oh, I'm tellin ya. You want to see hackles raised, just mention that bearded basta*** to any of them. 

They lived for many years on key west then moved to WPB.


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## poopdeckpappy

unbelievable story, I had a riding buddy that was from cuba, his dad was also imprisoned and all his land was confiscated, never heard the story on how they got here, but once the did, the mother and kids were scattered all over the US, it wasn't until they were adults were they able to locate each other, the father was eventually released and made it over here.

Never could understand a word the father said, ( Ricky translated for me ) but man could this guy sing and play guitar


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## cardiacpaul

Her Dad owned an auto parts store. Their home & business taken. Upon his release, he worked in a co-op fish place until he could put the plan in place.


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## sailaway21

Thank you, Paul
I guess this means that when you have a beef with the Cuban she just refers you to the Hess Oil Company!

We are fortunate to have your her family record of the journey. May it always stay near to future generation's hearts.

To read the daily paper it is too easy to think that this country is just one messed up place. Those who fight, and sometimes die, trying to get here remind us that the rest of the world knows and appreciates what America is about. Unfortunately people with so much freedom, who have never known true repression, do not often encounter those who have a more immediate experience with the lack of freedom.

It would be nice if you posted your previous posts on this over on "off topic". I'm afraid it will not get the attention it deserves on "her".

Thanks again. As TR would have said, "That's bully!"


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## cardiacpaul

Rosa ("The Cuban") said that her parents wouldn't talk to the about the trip. They would change the subject, and those being the times, you knew better than to ask more than a couple of times. I am amazed by the fortitude that it took to do this with a stack full of kids and nothing but the clothes on their backs. They didn't speak english, so there were times it was very hard for them. They only went to a hispanic market for special occasions, it was VERY important to them to become "American". 

That meant learning english if it killed them. Literally. One time her mother bought some food in a can only to find out it was pet food. All of them went to church every day where they were having english classes before school. The girls went into public school and did rather well, coming home each night with "dick and jane" books to learn as quickly as they could. 

They didn't have so much as pots and pans when they came, so they were opening cans with a knife and cooking them on a hot plate. 

Within days the father got a job as a carpenter and worked in that profession for the next 40 years only retiring 2 years ago at age 75. Most of the resorts in Key West and some of the homes in Wellington and Polo Park, Fla. bare his handiwork. Her mother took in laundry and cleaned houses until she passed in 1999. 

I am in awe of the work ethic and moral compass of this family, I am truly lucky to know them and call them my brothers and sisters.


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## Waymar83

Very humbling! Thanks for sharing CP!

We have it easy!


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## cardiacpaul

After having spent more than 2 days with her Dad, the good news is that he will NOT be going into hospice care at this time. 

He is suffering from some dementia and is very frail, but alert, animated, responsive and in no pain. He gets along as well as can be expected with the care staff that he states wants to poke him in the arse, and is able to have simple conversations most times. 

There is no way he's coming home while salsa dancing, but given his condition, he's not as bad as was expected. 

He's recieving very good care, one of her sisters works in a nursing home, Rosa has worked hospice, and they were both very impressed with the level of care, staff, and facility. 

When she walked into his room, his first words spoken were:

"Where the hell have you been, and quit drinking that cheap sh*t beer" (she quit drinking a long time ago, lol) 

He'll be made as comfortable as possible, without pain and suffering. 

Rosa wishes to thank everyone that has posted and welcomes the comments you've all made in these difficult times. 

Thank you all very much for your prayers. 

Paul & Rosa


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## camaraderie

Ditto the prayers and thanks for the story CP. I lost my dad to dementia some years back and it is no easy road for the person or the family. Good luck.

I was commenting the other day on another forum about some Americans and Canadians who were trying to go to Cuba despite the ban and new regulations. So many were blaming Bush for making stupid decisions and making it hard to go there. I suggested that they should check their moral compasses and not help prop up and support a tyrant regardless of the law. They should read "the Cuban's" story for a lesson in what freedom means and how evil that regime is.


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## sailingdog

Thanks for the update... and glad to hear he's doing better.


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## cardiacpaul

Last night, at 8:45pm local time Raphael Velasquez passed away peacefully in his sleep.

From Rosa (The Cuban) 
_
I would like to scatter his ashes on the waters of Key West to commemorate the long voyage he took so many years ago so that all of us may have the opportunity for a better life._

_RosaMaria _


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## camaraderie

CP..sorry to hear that...but with dementia it is a blessing. He had quite a life and his family can be proud of all he accomplished. Please give our condolences to Rosa. May he rest in peace.


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## sailingdog

My condolences Paul. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.


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## Wannafish

Please accept our condolences, and our thanks, as we feel truly lucky to have been able to read some of the trials of his lfe.
Now it is his turn to rest.

Once again, Thank you.


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## sailhog

Paul,
Condolences to you, Captain. Also, I think we all owe you a big thank-you for telling his story on this forum. You done good.
Sailhog


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## TSOJOURNER

Paul

May he rest in peace. My prayers are with you, Rosa, and the rest of the family.


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## bestfriend

Paul,
Our thoughts are with You and Rosa.


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## Cruiserwannabe

cardiacpaul said:


> Last night, at 8:45pm local time Raphael Velasquez passed away peacefully in his sleep.
> 
> From Rosa (The Cuban)
> 
> _I would like to scatter his ashes on the waters of Key West to commemorate the long voyage he took so many years ago so that all of us may have the opportunity for a better life._
> 
> _RosaMaria _


*PEACE TO YOUR FAMILY*


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