# SOBER SAILING *help*



## C.M0N3Y

Hello! I have been an avid creeper on Sailnet for a while now and am finally posting. I am a 22 year old female LSU senior in Economics. My grandfather has always had boats and when I was younger we used to go through the keys a lot. So I have always loved sailing and been passionate about being on the water. My mother drinks *alot* and so my father doesn't really let her and I travel alone bc he thinks (knows) all she will do is drink. So he told me that if I can find a non-alcoholic trip, then we can go and he will pay for it. We fly for free, which makes it easier to get places. But because of her drinking, we aren't able to utilize the opportunity. We were just in Pensacola where I dragged my family from marina to marina and my mother reminisced fondly of all the fun we used to have on my grandfathers boat. So I thought maybe our non-alcoholic trip could be on a boat. I looked it up online, and I believe that the trip would be called a *charter* trip, hence me posting in this thread. I was hoping to maybe getting my sailing or scuba certification with her on it too *maybe*, but if I can't then it is fine. I just noticed on some websites that that was available, but they don't have any trips open soon. It would be for a week or two. Everything I have found has been either WAY too commercial or they aren't available in May or June. I was wondering where I should look into accompanying someone on a trip (I think this exists...) or paying someone to take us out for a week or so. If someone could point me into the right direction I would then be forever grateful. I am just trying to spend some time with my mother is a non-alcoholic environment. Much love to everyone.


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## Faster

A quick google gave me this.. might be a place to start..

Alcohol Free Family Cruise


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## Minnewaska

I wish you the best. Demons are tough to fight, especially tough to fight those of someone else. 

You can charter a sailboat with just about any charter company and hire a captain to manage the vessel. Typically, they will let you sail or participate as you desire, but they are there to do the rest. This works for many families.

My concern for you is that a serious alcoholic isn't going to easily go cold turkey for week aboard. They're either going to find alcohol somewhere or that first sober week in a long time isn't going to be pleasant. 

If your Mother is a heavy drinker, but only on occasion, and your Father objects to that, boaters in general are going to be a very bad influence. 

I truly wish you the best with this.


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## seaner97

Schooner trips out of rockport or Camden Maine. There are many. The Angelique is the only one that leaps to mind by name, but there is a fleet of around 10-12. They are all Googleble.


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## MarkofSeaLife

I would charter a Sunsail or Moorings sailing boat with a Captain in a place like Antigua and sail to the virtually deserted Barbuda fir a week of snorkelling, sailing and beaches. The only town is impossible to get to (i kid you not)

Sunsail is one of the biggest charter companies in the world and could assign a Captain who allows no alcohol on board.

http://www.sunsail.com/yacht-charter/destinations/caribbean/antigua/antigua

http://www.sunsail.com


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## Barquito

> Schooner trips out of rockport or Camden Maine. There are many. The Angelique is the only one that leaps to mind by name, but there is a fleet of around 10-12. They are all Googleble.


Another one is, Louis R French. Great trip. Great folks. Oldest regularly sailing vessle in the US. Passegers can participate in sailing as much, or little as they want. I think the alcohol was BYOB.


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## Faster

Minnewaska said:


> I wish you the best. Demons are tough to fight, especially tough to fight those of someone else.
> 
> .....
> 
> My concern for you is that a serious alcoholic isn't going to easily go cold turkey for week aboard. They're either going to find alcohol somewhere or that first sober week in a long time isn't going to be pleasant.


This last is, I suspect, going to be a major issue. The 'fun factor' could be in serious jeopardy....


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## seaner97

Not to mention that if she really drinks enough normally and daily, the DTs can actually be life threatening, so being in the COMPLETE middle of nowhere might be more concerning.


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## nolatom

"We fly for free, which makes it easier to get places. But because of her drinking, we aren't able to utilize the opportunity"

She can't be sober enough to board a plane? Or remain sober on one once aboard?

Plane trips are short. A week or two on a boat is long. And while I hear in your post what you want, and your dad wants and would love to see it work out that way for you, I don't hear about what your mother wants, regarding isolation from alcohol and everything else really, other than nature, boat, and family.

You might try a short charter sail first? I'm not trying to drum up business, but Lake Pontchartrain is close and a 3-hour skippered charter is easy to arrange, and you'd find out how it goes. Sailing lessons and the occasional charter, from a local sailing facility, are my frequent weekend gig.


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## miatapaul

I agree that I would start off with a shorter charter. Keep records of your charter, and you might want to get some sort of signature from the captain if you participate in sailing. It may help if you want to charter in the future without a captain sort of building a resume so to speak. 

The New England tall ships are really cool because you are on living pieces of history (or a replica of such) and are a real experience. Lots of them spend the summer in New England and the winters in the islands. I used to know a guy who captained for one company and they seemed really fun. They are no so long that if your mother goes into withdrawal that they could not get her to medical attention. If one or two go well, then you can try one in the islands. 

Sounds like she has people in her life that love her, perhaps a better course is to get her medical and psychological help to battle her issues. Often if she is just a heavy drinker (VS a true alcoholic) when given the opportunity there are underlying issues that once addressed will cause the behavior to improve. Ignoring the underlying issues will only cause the behavior to continue. 

What ever you decide on best of luck.


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## MedSailor

Minnewaska said:


> I wish you the best. Demons are tough to fight, especially tough to fight those of someone else.
> 
> You can charter a sailboat with just about any charter company and hire a captain to manage the vessel. Typically, they will let you sail or participate as you desire, but they are there to do the rest. This works for many families.
> 
> My concern for you is that a serious alcoholic isn't going to easily go cold turkey for week aboard. They're either going to find alcohol somewhere or that first sober week in a long time isn't going to be pleasant.
> 
> If your Mother is a heavy drinker, but only on occasion, and your Father objects to that, boaters in general are going to be a very bad influence.
> 
> I truly wish you the best with this.


What he said.

If you sail to the middle of nowhere in complete isolation, alcohol withdrawal will not be pretty and can be life threatening. Sailing to the middle of nowhere isn't really an option though.

Sailing to where there are sailors, well... that's a bad idea. Sailors are, by in large, drinkers. It's a big part of the culture that started over 500 years ago. You'll meet other sailors who will offer drinks, you'll be at or near bars all the time... It'd be like trying to get a hotel room in Vegas and stay sober.

MedSailor


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## hellosailor

Having known a few alcoholics and how clever they can be about getting booze...I wouldn't consider anything on a cruise ship. The ship is too big, the staff work for peanuts. "Hey, I'll give you fifty bucks for a bottle of vodka" and I don't think you'd have to wait very long.

Which leaves chartering a crewed boat (not a cruise ship) and in the Keys or west Florida, that might cost you $2000-4000 for a week. But if you tell the charter company you want a no-booze boat, none at all, that's how it will be stocked and there's just the captain and cook aboard. If you don't go ashore in towns like Key West...Mom has very few options to get booze.

It still may be a bad idea, because if she's that intent on it, a week without might become and explosive issue. And then, of course, flying down...airport lounges and on the flight...

Good luck.


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## rugosa

This is a great thread. We are faced with the same situation with one crew member on race nights. 1 or 2 tallboys when boarding, cracks another by 3rd leg, rushes to icebox by finish, then I'll see you guys at the clubhouse. Good chance he's been pouring some back before arriving too. We discovered last season a pain killer issue too, even bringing some bud along when we were possible crossing in to US waters. You know what that could lead to. An it's not even our boat, but I often carry responsibility to an absent owner. Laid this out to the owner and he emphatically said no booze (didn't go into the other stuff) aboard this year. Waiting to see how that goes over next month.

Good luck to OP, you definitely have a challenge for passengers & crew.


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## Advocate777

I know you love your mom but...you are not responsible for her drinking nor can you control her drinking. If she wants to drink...she will, of course. 
As for a non-drinking environment...you can't even go in a grocery store and not be surrounded by beer and wine. So, I think you are great for wanting to make a happy time for you and your mom but please be realistic about any person's ability to keep another person from using their free will to drink. The motivation to not drink must come from the drinker...not from a family member. 
Does your mom want to go on a non-drinking vacation?


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## Faster

Advocate777 said:


> ....
> Does your mom want to go on a non-drinking vacation?


That's THE question, isn't it??


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## Jammer Six

It doesn't sound like either of you are prepared for what happens when a drinker stops drinking.

A boat is one of the last places you want to be, and in reality, you don't want to be involved.

You certainly don't want to be locked up in a cabin at sea with a drinker who all of a sudden can't get a drink.


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## Sunphish

Sadly it doesn't sound like your Mom wishes to control her drinking. In an effort to try and help, maybe you and your Dad try and work around Moms destructive behavior. I kind of think that may be the worst thing you can do for yourself and Mom. 

Trying to force good behavior on your Mom by being on an alcohol free boat is almost sure to turn ugly, and maybe counterproductive.

How about a day charter and ask your Mom if she would want to do a no booze day on the water? If she likes the idea, and sticks to it, then maybe move up to a 2-3 day local charter.

You want the time to be as stress free and as easy for both of you as possible. Long distance travel, strangers around for days, cramped quarters, might just put too much on your Mom, triggering bad behavior.

Maybe rent an RV for a couple of days and go to a nice campground. If the understanding is that it is a no booze trip for you and Mom, and she does well, then consider lengthening the trip, or doing the boat thing next time.

If Mom doesn't do well, it is her fault, not yours, and if and when she's ready to help herself you will be supportive, if not, it's all on her. If she doesn't appreciate what a great daughter you are, that's her fault. Good luck.


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## Sunphish

rugosa said:


> This is a great thread. We are faced with the same situation with one crew member on race nights. 1 or 2 tallboys when boarding, cracks another by 3rd leg, rushes to icebox by finish, then I'll see you guys at the clubhouse. Good chance he's been pouring some back before arriving too. We discovered last season a pain killer issue too, even bringing some bud along when we were possible crossing in to US waters. You know what that could lead to. An it's not even our boat, but I often carry responsibility to an absent owner. Laid this out to the owner and he emphatically said no booze (didn't go into the other stuff) aboard this year. Waiting to see how that goes over next month.


If I were the boats owner, I'd kick you and him off my boat.


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## seaner97

While most of the above is well intentioned and potentially helpful, there is no way that armchair clinicians are going to figure out your mom's drinking. I've seen your opening statement be anywhere from a true alcohol intake of 2-3/week with the occasional drunken family gathering over several years to full blown hiding cheap handles all over the house depending on family members perceptions. If she needs help, get help. For safety, if you go and dad lets you, pick something that is a small charter somewhere where you can get her to a hospital if she is really an alcoholic and starts having seizures during withdrawal. I don't know the southern ones, so no comments there, but the ones I suggested would actually be ideal for these safety considerations (which is why I put them out there). I would be doing the Antigua trip if it was me, but I also know I won't die from the DTs.


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## Faster

Well... our OP has not checked in in nearly a day and has not responded to any of this. Perhaps their plans have changed??


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## Minnewaska

I bet the situation is pretty complicated and who wants to out all the details of their Mother's drinking problem. Unusual it came out this much.


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## Minnesail

Wow, you all jump to the worst case scenario quickly!

There's a whole range of levels of problem drinking, and only at the very far end are you worried about delirium tremens and other dangerous withdrawal symptoms.

I think a captained charter might be just the thing.


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## MedSailor

Minnesail said:


> Wow, you all jump to the worst case scenario quickly!


You've been a member here for 2 years and you're just now realizing this?? 

MedSailor


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## seaner97

MedSailor said:


> You've been a member here for 2 years and you're just now realizing this??
> 
> MedSailor


And if you've been anywhere near a hospital with people in the DTs, you fear them when this stuff comes up. I remember my first exposure to it with a high functioning alcoholic that came in for other reasons and went into the DTs totally unexpectedly. You develop a healthy respect for them, and I've found that planning for the worst and hoping for the best is one of those things that generally keeps people alive.


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## Siamese

If ma's an every day drinker, she'd have to be totally agreeable, and know up front that she's going to be put into a situation where booze is not going to be available. Never mind the DT's.


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## tdw

It does after all depend on how reliant on alcohol she is. Hell, I'm an every day drinker but I can easily go without and most days my first and last drink(s) is/are with dinner of an evening. Then again I'm happy as larry to get totally wasted every so often, though nowhere near as much as I did in my younger days. 

The OP's mother may just be one of those souls who when she does drink she goes over the top but if she doesn't have a drink she's not constantly craving. OP didn't really give us enough info to go on and as she hasn't been back maybe she never will.


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## captain44

Many folks are saying "do a captained charter" and one writes "I think a captained charter might be just the thing" but that's about the last guest I'd want to be taking around on a boat. This is a forum for sailors/cruisers and while some of us may drink, or even drink a lot, I would hope it does not involve being underway or causing safety problems. Alcohol at worst should be but incidental to cruising and a person's addiction problem is best handled by a professional in a proper environment and most boat captains and boats are not appropriate for "drying out." If I were operating such a charter and it became apparent what was going on and it caused even the slightest difficulty (which is very likely to happen), I'd cancel the trip and put guests ashore or take them back to port asap. Really--do a captained charter! It's hard enough when guests are sober and coordinated and responsible-so why add an additional layer of responsibility for which most captains are not trained to handle? sniff...sniff...sniff...lawsuit anyone?


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## Minnesail

"It's kind of windy out there, do you think I should go sailing?"

"NO! OH MY NO! NEVER! THE HURRICANES ARE DANGEROUS! Have you ever seen the destructive force of a hurricane? Force 12 winds can rip a boat apart! It's hard enough when it's calm and the water is flat, why add the additional responsibility of sailing through a hurricane?"



For frogs sake, you people. All we know is that someone likes to drink enough that some (presumably an ex-husband) consider it a problem, and everyone jumps to the after school special stereotype of a twitching terminal stage alcoholic.

If the mom is the sort who first thing when she wakes has to drink a beer through a straw because she's shaking too much to hold the can to her mouth, then yeah, I agree with you all, a boat trip is not a good idea.

On the other hand it's a hundred times more likely that she's the sort who is otherwise functional but on occasions will drink too much, suck the fun out of an event, and set a bad example for the kids. The ex-husband has no interest in funding a booze cruise, but would fund something constructive. 

Turn off the Lifetime Channel. Put down the tell-all tabloid. A lot of people drink too much and a lot of people drink enough that it's considered a problem but only a very very small number of people drink enough that medical detox is required. For the rest, the vast majority, a good healthy trip without the temptation to drink would be a healthy thing.

So I'll say it again, "I think a captained charter might be just the thing."


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## captain44

Hmmm.....well that last comment was the epitome of snarkiness, mean-spiritedness (as in "spirits") and jumping to conclusions! I'll bet if we put the original post to a group of professional charter captains, most would pretty much say what I said above, which of course had nothing to do with hurricanes, much to the chagrin of Minnesail. None of us really know the extent of this person's alcohol problem but it is strong enough to warrant the concerns of the OP and her grandfather. If it is serious enough to consider being on a vacation away from alcohol, than I think it's serious enough to consider why a captained charter is probably a bad idea. If anyone here is overreacting it is the person who writes things such as "NO! OH MY NO! NEVER! THE HURRICANES ARE DANGEROUS!" and "For frogs sake, you people." and especially this which shows a decided lack of consideration and deliberation: "Turn off the Lifetime Channel. Put down the tell-all tabloid. A lot of people drink too much and a lot of people drink enough that it's considered a problem but only a very very small number of people drink enough that medical detox is required. For the rest, the vast majority, a good healthy trip without the temptation to drink would be a healthy thing."

I don't own a tv and I don't read tabloids but I do have a lot serious experience as a sailor and charter yacht captain. I do not know what is Minnesail's experience as a sailor (he has a Catalina 22 in Minnesota apparently) or charter captain but I have operated many hundreds of charters on both small sailboats to large motoryachts on well over a thousand days underway. It's quite a responsibility and I take it seriously. I've never had a guest injured but the handful of times there were unusual incidents--alcohol was involved. Again I do not know the seriousness of this person's issue but for anyone on here to not only brush it aside, but assume they know the situation and they know what is right is either inexperienced with such matters, trying to brush off their own issue or just tooting their horn but none of it is helpful. 
If the OP wishes to hire a captained charter, I strongly advise the OP to inform the captain and charter company in advance and in writing and make sure they know what to expect and what they are getting into. As I've said before, it's enough work and responsibility to operate a boat with guests who are usually of little or no assistance and often in the way even if they don't mean to interfere, to keep the guests safe and happy, to live aboard with and cook and clean with them and be the captain without having to be a family or substance abuse counselor.

There are many different levels of substance abuse and many types of alcoholism but I don't make an claim about being an authority. I do know that I don't want someone drying out or drinking excessively on my charter boat.

I've read some weird, snarky and even abusive letters on here but this one takes the prize. I sure hope the commenter thinks about this more seriously. I don't presume to know the details or seriousness of the OP's grandmother's drinking (although Minnesail presumes to know) but I do know about being a charter yacht captain and Minnesail (with a Catalina 22 in Minnesota) appears to be inexperienced and misinformed in both regards.


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## Jammer Six

captain44 said:


> I don't own a tv and I don't read tabloids but I do have a lot serious experience as a sailor and charter yacht captain.


If you can't afford a TV, I'd suggest a different career and a used TV in the meantime.


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## captain44

I have no idea who Jammer Six is or why he feels compelled to just throw in insults. Perhaps the moderators may have an idea. He just joined Sailnet and has made 7 posts and if this is a sign of what's to come, I don't see much positive or constructive reason for his participation. Completely off topic and merely an insult to a fellow forum member with absolutely no reason or merit. His personal invective against me is none of his business but he is trying to delegitimize my professionalism--and for what reason? Is this kind of thing acceptable on Sailnet?


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## seaner97

Ah, yes. This is more like the sailnut I know. Good old pissing match, started by someone on a misplaced soapbox.


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## Minnewaska

I will admit, I'm somewhat reposting to differentiate my comments from a similar screen name. This was a quote from the OP



> .....My mother drinks *alot* and so my father doesn't really let her and I travel alone bc he thinks (knows) all she will do is drink.....


.

That doesn't sound like an ex-husband. How would he not let her do something. Maybe he won't let the daughter, but as a college senior that sounds like a stretch

It's true, we can't know the severity. It's possible that the husband/father here is a real tea totler and objects to even moderate drinking. It's possible he's just a controlling PITA. It does seem to prevent taking airline flights.

I stand by my response. If the Mother is an alcoholic and not interested in recovery, she will find booze somehow. Being an unwilling participant in their own abstinence is not pretty. That does not have to suggest DTs.


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## seaner97

Most of us know you're not the same people. I agree w what you've said. As the one who sent us down the DTs rabbit hole, I was just pointing out that if the op doesn't know how bad her mom is, the consequences of a remote charter could be dire. Never said she WAS going to withdraw (and thought I made it pretty clear in one of my posts) but that she could be at risk. And that would be a pretty crappy way to spend a holiday.


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## miatapaul

Jammer Six said:


> If you can't afford a TV, I'd suggest a different career and a used TV in the meantime.


Well I own three, but have not turned the tv tuners on any of them on in over 6 years, don't miss it at all, though I do admit to watching movies on on one, and on my computer. I will catch an occasional TV clip online that I may see an interesting post about on Facebook or something. Others in the house watch them so I keep the cable connected, but for most is not a choice of budget, but a choice of intelligence.


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## Minnesail

captain44 said:


> I've read some weird, snarky and even abusive letters on here but this one takes the prize.


Yay, I win a prize!

Mr. Waska is right, upon re-reading the post it does not sound like the parents are divorced. Sounds like a weird family dynamic though.

Obviously if the mom doesn't want to do it, it's a bad idea. That pretty much goes for anyone, you don't want to coerce someone into spending several days in a confined space. But if the mom is up for a sober vacation I bet they'd have fun.

If the mom is far enough along in her alcoholism that she's going to suffer horrible withdrawal then it's pretty danged unlikely she'd agree to a sober vacation in the first place.

On the one (1) charter trip that I skippered with strangers I did collect medical forms and I would have wanted to know if someone was "drying out." But with the group I had, drinking too much was a far greater risk than drinking too little... Cheers!


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## captain44

This Jammer Six guy is so outrageous...The above were private messages to keep this between him and I...and he has the audacity to blabber this to the rest of Sailnet! Geeze! Get him outta here puhleeeze! Lesson learned--just ignore his type....


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## SimonV

Well you will know where to find an alcoholic on a dry boat..... they will be under the gear box trying to get to the wine.


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## 123456Wannasail654321

I think more info is needed before any recommendations can be made.

too many variables.


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## C.M0N3Y

Minnewaska said:


> I wish you the best. Demons are tough to fight, especially tough to fight those of someone else.
> 
> You can charter a sailboat with just about any charter company and hire a captain to manage the vessel. Typically, they will let you sail or participate as you desire, but they are there to do the rest. This works for many families.
> 
> My concern for you is that a serious alcoholic isn't going to easily go cold turkey for week aboard. They're either going to find alcohol somewhere or that first sober week in a long time isn't going to be pleasant.
> 
> If your Mother is a heavy drinker, but only on occasion, and your Father objects to that, boaters in general are going to be a very bad influence.
> 
> I truly wish you the best with this.


I am sorry. I should have clarified. She is NOT an alcoholic. She can go a few weeks without drinking. But that is her only hobby and my father said that if he pays for the trip then it has to be alcohol free so she can focus on creating new hobbies. Thank you for the wonderful advice and help!


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## C.M0N3Y

Faster said:


> Well... our OP has not checked in in nearly a day and has not responded to any of this. Perhaps their plans have changed??


No! I have been finishing my semester in school and I thought I set it up to get e-mails with responses.. But I didn't? Just checked today and was overwhelmed with the help and responses!


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## C.M0N3Y

Minnewaska said:


> I bet the situation is pretty complicated and who wants to out all the details of their Mother's drinking problem. Unusual it came out this much.


Sorry! I should have been more specific. She just has no hobbies and drinks in free time. She will go weeks without drinking, but her idea of fun is drinking. When we go on trips she likes to drink and my dad just said that this trip would be different. We have a big family and this trip would be a time for her to focus on her hobbies again.


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## C.M0N3Y

Minnesail said:


> Wow, you all jump to the worst case scenario quickly!
> 
> There's a whole range of levels of problem drinking, and only at the very far end are you worried about delirium tremens and other dangerous withdrawal symptoms.
> 
> I think a captained charter might be just the thing.


Thank you! Everyone has been talking about her detoxing on the sea when that wouldn't be the case. I didn't explain that she is not an alcoholic. With a million kids (soccer mom) she just doesnt have time to have hobbies and her idea of fun is drinking. My dad said that if we go on a trip it would have to be alcohol free so we can focus on finding new hobbies. She will go weeks without drinking, but she usually has a beer or 2 a day. Nothing crazy. Thanks!


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## C.M0N3Y

tdw said:


> It does after all depend on how reliant on alcohol she is. Hell, I'm an every day drinker but I can easily go without and most days my first and last drink(s) is/are with dinner of an evening. Then again I'm happy as larry to get totally wasted every so often, though nowhere near as much as I did in my younger days.
> 
> The OP's mother may just be one of those souls who when she does drink she goes over the top but if she doesn't have a drink she's not constantly craving. OP didn't really give us enough info to go on and as she hasn't been back maybe she never will.


Exactly. This is exactly her. Thanks! I have never been able to verbalize it properly. Much love!


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## seaner97

Well, sounds like the Viequez cruise would be a good one. Or any of the schooners in Maine I told you about. Best of luck!


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## C.M0N3Y

Minnewaska said:


> I will admit, I'm somewhat reposting to differentiate my comments from a similar screen name. This was a quote from the OP
> 
> .
> 
> That doesn't sound like an ex-husband. How would he not let her do something. Maybe he won't let the daughter, but as a college senior that sounds like a stretch
> 
> It's true, we can't know the severity. It's possible that the husband/father here is a real tea totler and objects to even moderate drinking. It's possible he's just a controlling PITA. It does seem to prevent taking airline flights.
> 
> I stand by my response. If the Mother is an alcoholic and not interested in recovery, she will find booze somehow. Being an unwilling participant in their own abstinence is not pretty. That does not have to suggest DTs.


Not an ex-husband. Just my controlling dad. HA! But he has good intentions. My mom isn't an alcoholic. She just likes to drink a lot sometimes. He thinks if we go somewhere then all we will do is drink. So we figured that if we could find an alcohol free trip then we could go! My mom and I could have some fun and my dad would know his money was being used for a good natured mom and daughter trip and not just drinking on some beach! She doesn't get drunk on airplanes. I was just saying that we fly for free, but she doesn't get to use it too much because my dad thinks if she goes anywhere without him all she will do is drink. It is nice to drink when he isn't nagging, but she doesn't black out or drink too much. I should have clarified this in the original post. Thanks


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## C.M0N3Y

seaner97 said:


> Most of us know you're not the same people. I agree w what you've said. As the one who sent us down the DTs rabbit hole, I was just pointing out that if the op doesn't know how bad her mom is, the consequences of a remote charter could be dire. Never said she WAS going to withdraw (and thought I made it pretty clear in one of my posts) but that she could be at risk. And that would be a pretty crappy way to spend a holiday.


She won't withdraw! I was just trying to find a way to please my dad by finding a non-alcoholic trip and for my mom and I to hang out without my hundreds of siblings running around


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## C.M0N3Y

SimonV said:


> Well you will know where to find an alcoholic on a dry boat..... they will be under the gear box trying to get to the wine.


Well, she only drinks beer.. so that wouldn't be her


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## C.M0N3Y

miatapaul said:


> Well I own three, but have not turned the tv tuners on any of them on in over 6 years, don't miss it at all, though I do admit to watching movies on on one, and on my computer. I will catch an occasional TV clip online that I may see an interesting post about on Facebook or something. Others in the house watch them so I keep the cable connected, but for most is not a choice of budget, but a choice of intelligence.


I don't own a TV and I read the news everyday and am more informed than any of my fellow students on issues. Well, issues not relating to the Kardashians. I don't know much about them.


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## C.M0N3Y

WELL! This received a lot more than I expected. I am really appreciative of all the responses. I thought I had this post set up to receive an e-mail if it got a response. I didn't and have been busy with finals and decided to creep on this website for a bit while I am NOT studying for my final tomorrow. I wish I would have seen this sooner to have responded. I love everyone's honesty and their empathy towards my mother. She isn't an alcohol. But she likes the drink a [email protected] had the best response in regards to her drinking. She isn't an alcohol and doesn't drink everyday, not even every week. However, it is one of her favorite past times and every once in a while she drinks a little too much. Her idea of fun is alcohol. She is super busy with 5 kids and is a full-time soccer mom. (baseball in our case) She is really stressed and my father and I agreed that a trip would be in her benefit. But he doesn't want it to be an alcohol trip. I love being on the water and on the water I have never felt freer. I was boating in Croatia and Belize last summer and I know my mom used to love being on the water too. I know that being on the water will make her super relaxed and maybe she will remember her love of being on the water. She is super busy with all of her mom responsibilities. The water would be a good break away! My dad wants us to experience a trip without it being an alcoholic fed one. Like going to a resort and beaching and exploring a new place and drinking all day isn't something he would support. Thank you all for the wonderful help and I will look more into the companies and advice you gave when I finish my last finals on Saturday! Thanks for everything and sorry for taking so long and little clarification. Much love to everyone!


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## tdw

Well I think most had given you up for lost so thanks for popping back in and clarifying the situation.


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## Clarks Hill Windbag

C.M0N3Y said:


> her idea of fun is drinking.


Is it the rest of the family that makes her drink? Did she marry into the Wetblankets of Lameville?

Y'all must be a fun bunch to be around if she has to get skrekt when there's nothing to do.


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## Minnewaska

I wrote a longer reply and then realized, I don't want a bunch of strangers giving my college aged daughter any advice on our family over the internet. 

I will stick to advice on where you and your mother could go and how it works, if this idea works for your family. Feel free to ask. Best of luck on your finals! My daughter is taking her's right now as well.


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## chall03

C.M0N3Y said:


> WELL! This received a lot more than I expected. I am really appreciative of all the responses





C.M0N3Y said:


> I know that being on the water will make her super relaxed and maybe she will remember her love of being on the water. She is super busy with all of her mom responsibilities. The water would be a good break away! My dad wants us to experience a trip without it being an alcoholic fed one. Like going to a resort and beaching and exploring a new place and drinking all day isn't something he would support. Thank you all for the wonderful help and I will look more into the companies and advice you gave when I finish my last finals on Saturday! Thanks for everything and sorry for taking so long and little clarification. Much love to everyone!


Your mum sounds great. A lot like my mum actually.

You mentioned scuba diving. As part of this trip I would encourage you to learn to dive with your mum. Next to sailing I reckon diving is one of the most magical things you can do. It is like another world down there plus learning with a 'buddy' is a great activity to do together with a _natural_ high. Get your PADI open water ticket with your mum.

The best part of learning to dive is that is strongly advised to avoid alcohol when doing it 

Life is tough sometimes. I have had times in my life where I have tried to drink away my problems, luckily I have always had good people around me and it sounds like your mum does as well.


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## titustiger27

Clarks Hill Windbag said:


> Is it the rest of the family that makes her drink? Did she marry into the Wetblankets of Lameville?
> 
> Y'all must be a fun bunch to be around if she has to get skrekt when there's nothing to do.


Kind of a mean thought.

Maybe one of the first sign of a drinking problem is not taking responsibility for your own actions and blaming the behavior on someone else


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