# Ladies, your most embarassing sailing moment if you please.



## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

C'mon, spill the beans....


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Dang Chuck, you sure must be bored! What, is it raining up there??


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## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

Nah, stuck at work and thought the board needed a kick start today.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

...as usual, the board always needs that..! Hence me...


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

OK, I'll bite.
A month ago, I needed to run to the Ship Store for something. Taking DOODLE, (a skiff that Skip built) I motored on towards the dock. On the way, the engine started to act up and finally died. I rechecked the air intake valve, adjusted choke, and pulled and pulled on the cord to no avail. "No problem" I say, and grab the gas can to fill up. Still the engine would not start. I am calm and grateful that the tide has only recently turned and therefore the current is not running too fast. I reach for one of BALOO's oars stored forward, but it jams up on me when I try to put it together. Grabbing another and successfully putting it together, I begin to make way towards a group of boats that friends own, certain someone would give me a tow back to Skip. As I meander along, I look back towards MISTRESS and realize Skip has just gotten her underway. I correct my course heading for open waters to help him in his rescue. As he gets nearer, he calls out, "You can't get away that easy", and I am in aw of the site of MISTRESS from our little DOODLE coming to rescue me with my handsome Prince Charming at the helm. They pass me, turn, and coming back along side I tie DOODLE to MISTRESS and hop aboard. I am full of schoolgirl giggles and feeling as if I am in a romance novel. Once we returned to our mooring, and all was put right, Skip hopped in DOODLE and discovered that our problem was operator error. Remember I said I had checked the air intake valve? I should have probably checked the gas on/off switch as well. Had I not been so impressed with the site of MISTRESS and Skip coming to my rescue I would have felt more shame with my error, but holy cow she looked good. From DOODLE, MISTRESS looks quite amazing coming down on you. I have to say I am not very sorry for my foolish error. A girl likes to be rescued by a dashing man aboard a beautiful Schooner every now and again, and Skip always does it with style. 
Kathleen
aboard
Schooner MISTRESS


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## chuckg5 (Jun 22, 2006)

beautifull story
glad your aboard


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## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

Nice Kathlene, I seem to recall cranking on and checking everything on an outboard last year with much the same results. Didn't run on the fuel. Any others? C'MON LADIES, DON'T BE SHY.


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## Lurkette (Jul 24, 2007)

Alright, I'll go. We were heading home in 20-25 knot winds, with relatively calm seas, on a broad reach; hauling some serious butt. This was my old little 22', fixed keel 1967 WD Shock, pocket cruiser that normally maxed out around 6 knots, but we had been pushing 7 to 7.5 for a couple of miles; it was me and my 70 year old father and we were all grins and giggles. Now bear with me, this trivial info about our once-in-a-life time, high speed, text book perfect sail, helps to explain why we decided not to drop the sails and motor into the narrow channel like most people do. Normally when you leave Puget Sound, you douse the sails, fire up the motor and carefully navigate the narrow channel that brings you into the crowded staging area where everyone waits their turn to be lifted up to the lake. Well not that day, not for two experienced sailors like us, no way, we weren't stopping for anything. Our heading was perfect to sail right into the channel without adjusting a thing. As we entered the channel, things got a little crowded; as it was low tide and there were several slower moving boats meandering in and out of our race course. Also the current in this channel is normally pretty strong, but today it was like a river as the tide came back in. 

Our plan was to sail to where the channel widens and then find a space off to the side and drop the sails. As we approached the end of the channel my father started the trustworthy outboard, and we went over the upcoming high speed maneuver one more time. The plan was to find a clear spot near the shore, towards the left side of the channel, and in one quick motion, whip the boat around to starboard, point into the wind, drop the sails, and then whip back around and continue on our merry way under power. Seemed simple enough at the time....As the boat did it's Dukes of Hazards, high speed, 180 degree slide, I unlashed both sails from the mast, jumped forward, gave the head sail a couple of quick tugs and jumped back to finish bringing down the main.....and then things went from really good to not so really good, in a hurry.

It turns out, our little Dukes turn around, got a little out of hand and the main caught the wind on the other side as we came back around, sending us straight towards the beach, with the rail nearly in the water. In a panic, my father, dumped the main sheet, gave the engine full throttle, and cranked both the tiller and the outboard hard over to keep us off the beach. It worked, whew. We headed back to the center of the channel, got the main down and we were now pointed in the right direction and on our merry way under power. When my father said, "Hey, this thing came off". I looked over, he's holding the fuel line and it's disconnected from the engine. Oh? Oh my….Oh ****! I jump down to hopefully plug it back in before the engine died, but sadly, the fuel line hadn't just slipped off, but the little fluted end of the fitting was broken off inside the hose when the engine was pushed hard over and the fitting hit the edge of the transom (note to self….). I tried once or twice to stab the fuel line back on, but it was not going to happen. Moments later, the engine died. 

So there we were, in a narrow, crowed channel, with a 6 knot current and a 20 knot wind quickly pushing us closer to the rocky shore. Our only option was to immediately raise the main. I got it up about halfway and had us back in the center of the channel pretty quickly, but we were still in major trouble. Our first thought was to sail back out to open water and fix the engine. But I knew we'd never get it fixed well enough to maneuver through the locks, we might get it to sputter with some duct tape and hose clamps, but I didn't have any quick set epoxy and the only extra fitting was one I had bought by mistake and I knew it would not fit. In addition, with the current, the wind direction, and the oncoming traffic, sailing upwind in the channel was a pretty risky proposition. Plus the sun was going down. Nope, the plan was to either find someone in the channel to tow us through the locks, or to find a private dock along the channel that we could tie up to and fix the engine properly. We chose the latter.

We sailed in circles for a few minutes, looking for some place to tie up, there were only a few options available, and none were very good. So I picked a 40' long floating dock that already had a 20 foot long skiff tied to it. I figured, this was going to be one tough parking job anyway, why not make it a challenge and parallel park. Honestly, it was the best option. I circled around and gave the docking a "practice" run; with the dock to starboard and the wind just off the port bow, I attempted to slip past the docked boat and scoot over just enough to clear him and glide up to the dock. As we approached, I looked on shore to see whose dock we were commandeering and it appeared to belong to some sort of club, or small cafe, as there were a bunch of people on the two levels of decks overlooking the water, maybe 50 people or so, all of whom seemed to be watching me. Oh great, an audience, just what I needed. As we approached for a trial run, I let the main luff to keep the speed down and slowly beat up towards the little parking space. As we got close I realized this was my one and only chance, and I took it. My father was on the bow and even though I said, please don't jump off, he jumped off, and landed like a spring chicken squarely in the center of the dock. He had the bow lashed in seconds; I tossed the stern line to him and lowered the main. We put out some bumpers and all was well and good. Whew!

So you ask, what's so embarrassing about that? Well, we decided to hoof it up to the street and walk down to West Marine, in hopes of finding a coupling. Now this was winter, so we were cold and wet and thought a couple of shots of whiskey would make the walk bearable. We sat in the boat, and drank several toe warming toasts to surviving our little mishap. All warmed up and ready for action, we walked up the main dock towards the bar or club, full of well dressed people, all of whom were still eying us pretty hard. As we approached, one of the patrons said, "It looked like you were having some trouble out there". I looked up at the gathering on the patio, all of whom where anticipating my response, and with the three shots of whiskey running though my veins, I cleared my throat, took a step back, and fell 15 feet off the dock into the freezing cold waters of Puget Sound.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

ROFLMAO... That's a classic ending... I'm glad you're alright... but what a show you put on for them.


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## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

Great story!


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## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

Okay, so we're anchored off a pristine, deserted beach in the Virgins, and we dinghy ashore. Drag the dinghy onto the beach, leave our clothes in the dinghy, and slip behind a small hill ... ;-) We come back sometime later, wearing nothing but our shoes and our smiles, to find out that the beach is no longer deserted and the dinghy with our clothes in it has floated out into the bay.

I didn't mind being caught naked near as much as the display of poor seamanship in not securing the dinghy better!


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## Freesail99 (Feb 13, 2006)

Lurkette, super story, I loved it. Thanks for sharing.


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## danjarch (Jun 18, 2007)

Sounds like you need to practice your dismount. Great story though.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

eryka said:


> Okay, so we're anchored off a pristine, deserted beach in the Virgins, and we dinghy ashore. Drag the dinghy onto the beach, leave our clothes in the dinghy, and slip behind a small hill ... ;-) We come back sometime later, wearing nothing but our shoes and our smiles, to find out that the beach is no longer deserted and the dinghy with our clothes in it has floated out into the bay.
> 
> I didn't mind being caught naked near as much as the display of poor seamanship in not securing the dinghy better!


They probably cast the dinghy adrift to see what you would do...


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## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

Nothing like an unexpected header into 55* water in the Winter to get your attention. As for swimming ala natural with the fishes, that had to be more uncomfortable than the audience, I would think. I've done some skinny dipping in fresh water but dangling in salt water......, some big toothy fish might mistake..., ah, you get the idea. I'd at least do a backstroke.


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## CBinRI (May 17, 2004)

Lurkette said:


> Alright, I'll go. We were heading home in 20-25 knot winds, with relatively calm seas, on a broad reach; hauling some serious butt. This was my old little 22', fixed keel 1967 WD Shock, pocket cruiser that normally maxed out around 6 knots, but we had been pushing 7 to 7.5 for a couple of miles; it was me and my 70 year old father and we were all grins and giggles. Now bear with me, this trivial info about our once-in-a-life time, high speed, text book perfect sail, helps to explain why we decided not to drop the sails and motor into the narrow channel like most people do. Normally when you leave Puget Sound, you douse the sails, fire up the motor and carefully navigate the narrow channel that brings you into the crowded staging area where everyone waits their turn to be lifted up to the lake. Well not that day, not for two experienced sailors like us, no way, we weren't stopping for anything. Our heading was perfect to sail right into the channel without adjusting a thing. As we entered the channel, things got a little crowded; as it was low tide and there were several slower moving boats meandering in and out of our race course. Also the current in this channel is normally pretty strong, but today it was like a river as the tide came back in.
> 
> Our plan was to sail to where the channel widens and then find a space off to the side and drop the sails. As we approached the end of the channel my father started the trustworthy outboard, and we went over the upcoming high speed maneuver one more time. The plan was to find a clear spot near the shore, towards the left side of the channel, and in one quick motion, whip the boat around to starboard, point into the wind, drop the sails, and then whip back around and continue on our merry way under power. Seemed simple enough at the time....As the boat did it's Dukes of Hazards, high speed, 180 degree slide, I unlashed both sails from the mast, jumped forward, gave the head sail a couple of quick tugs and jumped back to finish bringing down the main.....and then things went from really good to not so really good, in a hurry.
> 
> ...


That is a well-told story and a noteworthy first post.


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

CharlieCobra said:


> in salt water......, some big toothy fish might mistake..., ah, you get the idea.


Jazus Charlie, did you have to go there?

Here we have this nice picture of a naked girl swimming on a sunny beach returning to her dinghy satisfied from an after noon in the sun, ...........and than you throw in the image of a worm. Thanks a lot.


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## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

CharlieCobra said:


> dangling in salt water......, some big toothy fish might mistake..., ah, you get the idea. I'd at least do a backstroke.


Between the cool water and our previous activities, he made somewhat less of a target ...


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## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

sailingdog said:


> They probably cast the dinghy adrift to see what you would do...


Nah, I suspect, but can't prove, that they were powerboaters careless of their wake.


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## US25 (Jul 20, 2007)

Lurkette said:


> Alright, I'll go. We were heading home in 20-25 knot winds, with relatively calm seas, on a broad reach; hauling some serious butt. This was my old little 22', fixed keel 1967 WD Shock, pocket cruiser that normally maxed out around 6 knots, but we had been pushing 7 to 7.5 for a couple of miles; it was me and my 70 year old father and we were all grins and giggles. Now bear with me, this trivial info about our once-in-a-life time, high speed, text book perfect sail, helps to explain why we decided not to drop the sails and motor into the narrow channel like most people do. Normally when you leave Puget Sound, you douse the sails, fire up the motor and carefully navigate the narrow channel that brings you into the crowded staging area where everyone waits their turn to be lifted up to the lake. Well not that day, not for two experienced sailors like us, no way, we weren't stopping for anything. Our heading was perfect to sail right into the channel without adjusting a thing. As we entered the channel, things got a little crowded; as it was low tide and there were several slower moving boats meandering in and out of our race course. Also the current in this channel is normally pretty strong, but today it was like a river as the tide came back in.
> 
> Our plan was to sail to where the channel widens and then find a space off to the side and drop the sails. As we approached the end of the channel my father started the trustworthy outboard, and we went over the upcoming high speed maneuver one more time. The plan was to find a clear spot near the shore, towards the left side of the channel, and in one quick motion, whip the boat around to starboard, point into the wind, drop the sails, and then whip back around and continue on our merry way under power. Seemed simple enough at the time....As the boat did it's Dukes of Hazards, high speed, 180 degree slide, I unlashed both sails from the mast, jumped forward, gave the head sail a couple of quick tugs and jumped back to finish bringing down the main.....and then things went from really good to not so really good, in a hurry.
> 
> ...


Great story! Very well told, you must be a writer? I hope everything turned out okay after your little embarrassing swim.


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## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

eryka said:


> Between the cool water and our previous activities, he made somewhat less of a target ...


Uh, I could see that but still....

Another of my previously posted gems was a lame attempt at rigging up on the water and being lucky enough to have passerbys snatch the mast back up as it and gravity were slowly bending me towards the drink. Shortly after was me trying to raise sail singlehanded in 20+ and discovering that one, I had forgotten to anchor the jib tack and the hardware for that was on shore and two, the main went half way up and jammed. So here I was, blasting down the channel with the jib flapping uselessly and the main ballooning out hediously while I made for the nearest headland a mile or so away to go hide from the wind. Once there, I came around to hide and proceeded to cover the deck with broken branches while I rigged the jib and got the main up. The best part was the beat back at 5 knots and 25*, all the way up the channel for a perfect, until the keel grounded exactly one foot short of land, one point landing. A quick 360, a little cranking and another run in cured that. Lesson learn? Never rig up on the water alone and always take your time and triple check everything BEFORE ya cast off.


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## sailhagg (Feb 19, 2007)

Ok, I just found this. I really cracked up on Lurkette's story! What a hoot!

My husband and I laugh about this little story often. Although none around me were aware of what was going on.

We were on our honeymoon, in Martinique, doing a land cruise. They offered sailing lessons on Lazer sailboats. My then 'new' hubby wanted me to try them as he already knew how to sail. (Guys always want to know how to get their wives interested in sailing...warm water, tropical location and hubby no where in site works well...)

So I spend a couple of day with an instructor repeatedly dumping over the boat and crawling out on to the daggerboard (?) to bounce up and down and bring the boat back upright. I finally get the hang of it and I'm allowed to take one out in the bay by myself.

Now bear in mind before the wedding, my sister talked long and hard, complete with a rhyme, about sharks and tails that go up and down = fine and side to side = you're gonna die! So each time I get into the ocean water more than knee deep I have her stupid rhyme run through my head.

So here we are, each of us in our own little Lazer gleefully sailing around the bay off the coast of Martinique. The sun is shining, the breeze is warm, the water is pretty but you can't see the bottom and life is nice. I'm having fun...then I see a large dark shape in the water just off a little way from me and the boat, the one I kept turning over. My sister's rhyme pops into my head.

I take a calming breath and look for my hubby, he's far away...I tell myself, just slowly turn the boat, it'll be fine. I very carefully push the tiller and tack off away from the monster in the water. I remind myself fish are stupid, that shark isn't looking for someone learning to boat and waiting for them to fall in the water. It doesn't know, just stay in the boat.

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the dark shape in the water is back! OMG the movie 'jaws' springs to mind. Now I'm freaking out! Don't dump over, head to the shore and get out of the water. I have to jibe to do this. The self talk in my head was amazing as the jibe was when I *always* turtled the boat.

Sheet in my teeth, I shoved the tiller over and ducked below the swinging boom. The Lazer heeled and I feared I would land in the water. My eyes swung around to see if the shark was following me...

Nope...but the stupid shadow of the sail was still there.. never was a shark...could have killed my sister!


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

LOL, sailhagg... that's great... shows you what a little suggestion and a bit of paranoia can turn an innocent shadow into..


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## CharlieCobra (May 23, 2006)

And people wonder where the boogie man comes from....


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## sailhagg (Feb 19, 2007)

Yeah, you should have seen the killer whale chasing me down in my Newport 30 recently...


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