# Just set sail



## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

good evening. wanted to pop in and say hello. My husband and I just bought our first O'Day and just started our sailing journey. The first time my husband took me out we heeled way too much for my comfort and it scared me greatly as it was my first time out on a "real" sail boat. I was terrified that we were going to tip over and now I am afraid. My husband says that it is "hard" for an O'Day to capsize or tip over. Not that I don't believe my husband, but since we are both relatively new I wanted an outside answer. We sail in New Jersey area : )

Just wanted to thank everyone for the comments!! I went back out the next day with my husband again and he was great. If saw I was getting nervous with too much heel he would make adjustments. As the day went on it got more windy so he decided to drop the main and we only used the jib. I actually really enjoyed that and I was in control of the jib sheets which allowed me to focus on sailing and to heeling. Still a little nervous at times but looking forward to trying it again


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## WGEwald (Jun 2, 2014)

heather2014 said:


> good evening. wanted to pop in and say hello. My husband and I just bought our first O'Day and just started our sailing journey. The first time my husband took me out we heeled way too much for my comfort and it scared me greatly as it was my first time out on a "real" sail boat. I was terrified that we were going to tip over and now I am afraid. My husband says that it is "hard" for an O'Day to capsize or tip over. Not that I don't believe my husband, but since we are both relatively new I wanted an outside answer. We sail in New Jersey area : )


Do you wear a lifejacket? As for capsize, listen to the windspeed on the weather report and stay home if there is a small craft warning.


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## Stumble (Feb 2, 2012)

Heather,

To some extent it depends on which Oday you guys have. However in general your husband is correct. Absent very high winds (in excess of 50kn) or wave action, it is almost impossible for a ballasted sailboat (without a spinnaker) to flip over. What is going on may be uncomfortable in which case you need to trim the sails differently, but it isn't dangerous. 

Without more specifics I wouldn't guess at the issue (if it's just your perception or mis trimmed sails).


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Yes I got myself one if those auto inflating life jackets after my first trip out. Lol


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## MikeOReilly (Apr 12, 2010)

What Stumble says. A keelboat will almost never go over due only to wind. But comfort is important, and most boats don't need to heel more than 15-20 degrees even going to wind. If you're heeling more than that then you've got too much sail up, or the trim is wrong. 

Don't worry about going over, but the next time it happens, just ease out the main sheet, and then reef main and jib. You'll heel a lot less, and probably go faster.


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## SHNOOL (Jun 7, 2007)

The 15 to 20 degrees max is a good set of numbers to go by, HOWEVER, without an inclinometer, many over-estimate the angle of heel they are on.

I just love to heel, it's not unusual while out just messin around for me to sail it on its ear just because, but I've never gone past 30 degrees, the boat won't do it (without the spinnaker anyway).

But the advice is sound. You take control of the mainsheet/traveler. Get used to dumping the traveler when you heel a bunch... then dump the mainsheet if that isn't enough. Make sure you have a vang and its on, and you'll have taught yourself how to keep the boat flat, and faster.

If you have a knotmeter, try to "increase your heeling tolerance" by watching the knotmeter, resist the urge to dump the traveler/mainsheet, as long as speed is going up... you'll learn something else... heeling is a normal side effect of sailing.

Good luck, go safe.

Let us know if you can, exactly what size/model boat you have and we might be able to give you more specific things you can do.


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## tempest (Feb 12, 2007)

Where in NJ? Barnegat Bay? It's very unlikely that your O'day will tip over, in any typical weather that you'd sail in. Give it time and you will become confident in that fact. You may even come to enjoy it. 

Wearing a life jacket may give you a better comfort level too. If you're in Barnegat Bay, the water is pretty shallow, warm in the summer into early fall and you're never far from shore and help. That said...you're more likely to run aground than tip over and fall in. 

Have fun with it.


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

To give you a little encouragement. I've had my Oday30 for almost 10 years now. When I first bought it, I was afraid it would flip over also! It. Now I would scare your husband! Suggestion, he that claims to love you,  should take it easy and allow your comfort level to grow. That will give him two options! 1, learn to reef, depower sails by letting out, etc. 2, Find out how soon he can Learn what the term SINGLEhanding means! IMHO NO helms person should try to scare anyone that comes aboard. 

first experience, If is a good experience then they will come back. If the first experience is a bad one, they won't be back.


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## ccriders (Jul 8, 2006)

If your boat has a fixed keel, you probably cannot capsize it in Barnegat Bay, as it takes a combination of wind and wave, both pretty severe, to overcome the ballast of a fixed keel. While wearing a life jacket is always recommended, if your husband is putting fear in your heart, your best course of action would be to gain knowledge in a more supportive environment. There are many women only outdoor organizations, as well as the American Sailing Association where you can learn to sail without the theatrics. Once you gain some knowledge and ability on your own, then you can show him a thing or two.
I'm impressed you posted here, shows your head is in the right place, ready to learn and get sailing. Welcome
John


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Just wanted to thank everyone for the comments!! I went back out the next day with my husband again and he was great. If saw I was getting nervous with too much heel he would make adjustments. As the day went on it got more windy so he decided to drop the main and we only used the jib. I actually really enjoyed that and I was in control of the jib sheets which allowed me to focus on sailing and to heeling. Still a little nervous at times but looking forward to trying it again


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## RNovick (Dec 29, 2000)

Good for you for going back out the next day! Welcome to the wonderful world of sailing!
Ron


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## Ward H (Jun 23, 2012)

Heather,
We sail our O'day 25 on the Barnegat Bay. As the winds increase we reef early and frequently sail with jib only. This helps to keep the boat flat. If my wife is not with me I will push it harder and let it heel but the great thing about these boats is you can set the sails to keep it flat in up to 20 mph of wind. 
Like you, my wife likes confirmation from others. Not that she does not trust me but she knows I too am learning. I'm fine with that.
The more experience you both get the more comfortable you'll feel with any heeling. Handling the lines yourself will also let you see and feel how easy it is to release the sails in a gust to keep from heeling over to hard.

Glad to hear your having fun!


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Thanks! That's what my husband said as well. We will just sail with the jib till we can get a nice "quiet" day in the bay. Not sure that will ever happen. Lol.


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## deniseO30 (Nov 27, 2006)

"til death do you part" "yea that I blindly follow"... (goes to look for something appropriate from Shakespeare) Heather I do hope.. sincerely that you are trying to learn something from all this. Even if you need to take lessons from another woman. (YES!)

in the meantime...

This outfit RNLIshould have a station on the barney LOL


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Lol great videos! Yes I learn everyday. My husband is a great teacher and although he may be new as well. He has more experience than me and he is very patient with me and all my questions. Things are going much better and I'm ready for day three on Tuesday (weather permitting ).


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## clip68 (Jun 26, 2014)

Welcome aboard! One thing you might consider is taking some lessons to learn about sailing in general and sail trim specifically. What is "normal" and what is too much. It might also help you get more comfortable with the actions of the boat on all points of wind.


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Update.... Have about 15 hours of sailing under my belt. Still get nervous if we heel around 20 but we have perfected how to keep the boat between 0-15 the most. I am in love with the "mechanics " of how the boat works and sails. I'm the one who love to play with the sheets to find my "comfort" level. I also want to learn all I can about map navigation. I think the more I learn about how it all Works the more comfortable I'll get. Bottom line.....I'm getting better and really loving the sound of the wind in our sails.


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## Ward H (Jun 23, 2012)

Thanks for the update. 

"I'm getting better and really loving the sound of the wind in our sails."
That's what its all about. Glad your enjoying it.


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## Windclimber (Jun 8, 2013)

Your anxiety over heeling _will _fade away. Tell yourself that it is exactly like learning to ride a bike: at first it truly is a little scary, but you keep at it, and before you know it, it's second nature and you're doing tricks with it. One fine day you'll be out on the water and you'll suddenly realize that hey, you're doing it, you're relaxed and enjoying yourself with the kind of wind, waves, and heeling that used to make you want to somehow teleport home, directly to your bed . . . 
Also, something I learned from whitewater kayaking: if you want to improve your skill (and thereby your fun), operate ON THE FRINGE of fear. Don't take too big of a step because spooking yourself just makes the next time harder, but yes, go ahead, scare yourself just a little . . . go ahead a heel just a little farther each time, and you'll be surprised at how much you'll want to push back your own limits!


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I get out as much as my hubs and I can and I think as we both gain more experience the heeling will become.....dare I say....fun. With just this past summer we have improved and we look forward to continuing to learn.


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## DonScribner (Jan 9, 2011)

Heather,

tell him to reef! If it's blowing hard enough to heel greatly, he's loosing power from the sail leaning away from the wind and he's probably fighting the tiller to keep her on course. He's probably fighting his bride to keep her on course too. So, take in a reef, roll some headsail if you have a roller. He'll enjoy a more level ride, a happier Mrs., easy control and a cold beer. Reefed properly in 18 knots, I did 6 1/2 knots 50° off wind, into the waves with minimal heeling (but a lot of bumps!).

On the other hand, are you being a wussey? All the cool kids are doing it. What makes you unfomfortable may not be extreme at all. And Denise is right. Once you realize how not extreme it is, it might become old hat. But for the record, after about 3000 km, I still don't like heeling all that much.


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## Woodvet (May 5, 2012)

Heather. 
Leaning over on a sail boat is good. It means you don't have to buy the gas and you are moving. A sailboat will actually go anywhere in the world while a motor boat is simply a conveyance between service stations. 
Learn the ropes Heather. There's a rope that lets go of the wind and pulls the boat out of the lean and brings her upright. Sailboats naturally go into the wind called the 'irons" and it will stop. It's called "easing the main sheet" but always make sure your hands are no where close to getting pinched. 
Learn how to sail the boat Heather. BY ALL MEANS!!! There is no option to that. You may need to go back and get your husband if he falls over the side. Heather, if you love your husband and fear for your life learn how to sail. 
Make certain you can operate the boat!!!! Take your time but the goal is to own how never assume you "can't"... 
Never leave your life to someone else. You are the skipper of your destiny so grab and hold fast. There is no option. Learn to get the boat reefed back. Learn your point of stability. There is too much weight on the bottom to tip over. You will get used to it along with your husband.... 
Nothing more fun than mastering a boat and then showing off to your husband or a friend scared half out of their wits..., LOL


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Ummmm thank you I guess. Kind of a bit rash there with your reply. Obviously we are out there learning as much as possible and doing great. I'm the one who got my husband the sailing lessons so obviously I am committed just as much as he is. . We do need to learn better where her point of stability is. It sucks that we can't keep the momentum going because our boat is being pulled in Two weeks.


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## Woodvet (May 5, 2012)

Sorry if I seem rash. I was looking for conversation really. I hate to be a bore. Rather defeats the purpose of my efforts. 
Most of the battles fought to keep the sea out are fought in boatyards or in the preparations to go. I just saw your boat is 23" and I am sorry I assumed it was larger. 
Heather, there is no idle time for sailors. Wish you two all the best.
PS. The leaning is fun but only when everything's secure.


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## norahs arc (Jan 23, 2013)

You will get used to the heeling. My wife was afraid at first enen on keel boats. She has come to realize that they (the keel boats) don't flip over easily and we have never come close in - lets just say a bunch of years.
Sometime when the boat is well heeled over just go to the low side and try to rock it over more. That will show you that the more it heels the harder it becomes to keep going over. The wind on the sails causes the heel and as it heels the wind force becomes less due to the angle of heel. The boat will likely round up to the wind because the rudder comes out of the water long before the boat is in any danger of going over. 
My wife is now usually to be found on the lee side reading a book when we are sailing along with a good angle of heel.
So-relax and enjoy!!!


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Thanks woodvet. It is hard to interpret ones intentions via words on a screen.


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## heather2014 (Aug 1, 2014)

Norahs arc,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I can't wait to get back out there next seeing and summer to keep pushing my comfort limits till I'm fully over my discomfort of heeling. I hope to be sitting there reading a book like your wife in no time. 😃


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## Woodvet (May 5, 2012)

Sorry, see now how you lean... Won't further any replies to this.


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