# Women and men brains...



## merttan

I was watching this show on brain research on Nat.Geo....
Ironically, males' brains work similar to autistics... All systematic and less social... Female brain on the other hand more into problem solving and more social... 

They said that women talk more than men do, because they are gathering information to solve problems... Men talk less because they rather try to figure out things by understand how it works and attempt to do it by themselves...

Also females tend to fix the problem and let the rest of the working system going... While, males when introduced to a problem, tend to reverse engineer everything and try to build the system from scracth... I dunno which one is more efficient 

I tought you ladies would like to spin some heads on this subject...


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## eryka

I had read something similar, about men approaching life as "solving problems" and women "building relationships." But I really think there's more variation between individuals, than between genders: if the entire range of human behavior could be rated on a scale of 1-10, all men might plot somewhere between 1 and 9, and all women may plot somewhere between 2 and 10.


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## blt2ski

My wife blames the "corpus collosum" some part of the brain that is bigger on females than males. Allows males to think about one thing at a time, where as females can multitask or some such thing. 

In the end, there are differences besides the obvious!

marty


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## Boasun

You must be talking about the male lawyers


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## TrueBlue

Back in the early '90s my wife bought that cliche' book, which theorized men and woman stereotypes as Martians and Venusians. After a few months I only scanned the chapters and read a few passages, but recall reading some pretty profound associations.

An example of one theory, asserted that women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions. But one analogy I strongly related to was the Cave and Wave.

The author made a point about how men react totally differently to levels of stress than woman. Many men withdraw until they find a solution to a problem, by "retreating to his cave". I've done this on more than one occasion, like tinkering in my garage workshop, after a discussion with my wife turns to an argument. Sort of a "time-out".

Woman go through this natural cycle referred to as a "Wave", centered around their abilities to openly give to other people. Their wave is stable when they feel full of energy and love to give to others. As this energy increases, but the love is not returned with equal intensity, their wave begins to grow until it crashes. The wave can only rise up again when she receives enough support to come out of her dark place.

I relate this theory to the reason why my wife sometimes doesn't let up with the "apparent" nagging, when things don't work out her way - and why I have a need to escape to the boat, or garage, to sort things out.

Is the power of a man's comforting embrace strong enough to subside this emotional, crashing wave, and if so, why aren't most men willing to do so during these situations?


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## chucklesR

Many, many, times I wish it was a simple as saying 
" gee Honey that sucks " 
(acknowledging her problem) 
"here is how I'd fix it"

Grunt grunt, hammer, hammer - why isn't that enough?

Why doesn't that work and get me the gold star?


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## sck5

Dont argue with your wife. Havent you figured that out yet? Either she's right and you are dumb to argue or she isnt and wont appreciate having it pointed out. Jeez. Why do you think there are so many threads on singlehanding?


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## TSOJOURNER

A wise man once gave me advice on marrage. He said "do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy".


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## TrueBlue

Easy to say "Don't argue with your wife" sck5. But have you ever just tried to walk away before an argument gains momentum? I retreat to my man-cave and she's not done with me yet - follows me, repeating her rant until I agree to her terms.

What do we do - give them what they want, smother them with submissive hugs and kisses, _before_ their wave crashes on us? Hard for me to do when I know I'm right . . . but haven't worked out the details to prove my point yet. 

rheaton - Can't we be both right and happy?


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## PBzeer

Why is it, respect and consideration, seem to be in such short supply in the modern world? Where things better before? NO. We keep screwing up the same old way, no matter how many examples we have.


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## eryka

chucklesR said:


> Many, many, times I wish it was a simple as saying
> " gee Honey that sucks "
> (acknowledging her problem)
> "here is how I'd fix it"
> 
> Grunt grunt, hammer, hammer - why isn't that enough?
> 
> Why doesn't that work and get me the gold star?


I dunno either - in a lot of ways it seems like it should. Tho if I come home and tell Dan about something yucky that happened either at work or on the Beltway, he'll give me "gee Honey that sux," then, "you wanna talk about solutions or are you just venting?" I don't always need him to fix my problems, sometimes I just want to know he sees my world the way I do. Does that help?


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## chucklesR

Help? Yes/No. Knew that, get the same from Mary. 
Yes, nice to know it's not just me. 
No, I have a hard time not leaping in with 
a) My problems which are of course much larger than her's 
b) solutions first, then ask "are you venting "

22 years of Navy, I fix problems. Amazing she puts up with me isn't it.


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## sck5

Well, I guess its hard not to argue when you know you are right. But most of the arguments I have turn out to seem pretty silly the next day. I am usually better off just waiting until later if I can manage to do that. On the other hand, my wife is usually pretty easy going. Now my ex-wife ...........


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## PBzeer

One of the hard things in dealing with other people, is that when, you show understanding and interest, it raises the level of vulnerablity. But, aside from that, it also raises the level of effort to respond in a like manner.

Are there any harder words to say than, "I was wrong"? Not, asking to be forgiven, but simply admitting being wrong. Conversely, is there much that is harder to not say than, "I told you so"?

Life, love .... living, is about meeting halfway, and discovering a mutual answer to a problem. Not about who's right, or who's wrong.


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## Giulietta

OHHHHH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


you guys in deep s**t....you posted in Her Sailnet...bunch of sissies...

Now CD is going to come and delete all of yous from here..then you will cry like wimin and CD will post saying no one loves him....


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## PBzeer

Alex - take your Portagee machoism and stuff it where Guilietta does. Your children say all that needs to be said about what a "tough" guy you are.


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## Giulietta

PBzeer said:


> Alex - take your Portagee machoism and stuff it where Guilietta does. Your children say all that needs to be said about what a "tough" guy you are.


The part of inserting my machoism in Giulietta I understood....

The part where my kids say I am gay...I did not understand


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## PBzeer

That's not even worth a reply


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## Giulietta

PBzeer said:


> That's not even worth a reply


John...go check it out...want to come sail with me??? The "sail Giulietta south" thing is open again....go check it out...want to come??


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## nolatom

"When you're wrong, admit it.....When you're right, shut up"

This has worked fairly well for me...


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## chucklesR

Giulietta said:


> The part of inserting my machoism in Giulietta I understood....
> 
> The part where my kids say I am gay...I did not understand


I'll be nice since getting in touch with their feminine side is not a common trait to Portagee herring fishers.

Alex, I thing PB meant when it comes to your children your soft heart shows, so we know you are not all that tough after all.


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## Giulietta

Ahhhhh

Thanks for explaining it to me....apparentely I am not worthy of PB's own explanantion.....


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## chucklesR

No Problem. I lived in Sicily for two years, and Sicilian fathers I suspect are not all that different from Portuguese.


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## PBzeer

Alex - you can't be macho and whine at the same time 

Let me relate a little story of mine about sailing on Guilietta. I learned to snow ski at the age of 33 (kinda old for that stuff, but that's beside the point). The lift would go up past a place called Eagle Rock, a cliff face about, 30 feet or so high. We would watch people go off of there. I used to tell myself, "I can't wait till I'm good enough to do that." Well, the day came when I was good enough, and then I said, "WHY would I want to do that?"

I've pushed the envelope so many times, I got glue on my forehead, and when I look back, the main thing I remember is having to get that damn glue off my forehead!


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## Giulietta

PBzeer said:


> Alex - you can't be macho and whine at the same time
> 
> Let me relate a little story of mine about sailing on Guilietta. I learned to snow ski at the age of 33 (kinda old for that stuff, but that's beside the point). The lift would go up past a place called Eagle Rock, a cliff face about, 30 feet or so high. We would watch people go off of there. I used to tell myself, "I can't wait till I'm good enough to do that." Well, the day came when I was good enough, and then I said, "WHY would I want to do that?"
> 
> I've pushed the envelope so many times, I got glue on my forehead, and when I look back, the main thing I remember is having to get that damn glue off my forehead!


John...now that was funny!!!!  

C'mon...come for the ride...at least come for the fish in Sines....  

We let you drive...I swear....


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## PBzeer

Oh, and by the way, if any of you have wondered what I'd sound like when well lubricated ... today is the day. It's been blowing snot all day, and there ain't been much else to do but crank the tunes and suck the brews.


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## Giulietta

PBzeer said:


> crank the tunes and suck the brews.


I don't know who the tunes are, but you shouldn't be sucking on their brews   

This is HerSailnet....


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## PBzeer

Your lack of familiarity with the American idiom is your saving grace


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## Livia

merttan said:


> I was watching this show on brain research on Nat.Geo....


Sorry to go all "deep" in this thread without any photoshopping  but a few things to remember:
- The examples you gave are behavior differences which are based on both genetic and environmental (socialized) factors and we don't know how much of both.
- There *are* brain differences between men and women but
1) they are very small compared to the similarities between men and women and the differences WITHIN each gender... which makes one wonder why people are so focused on them.
2) everything we experience is stored in our brain. "Things stored in our brain" must be done so by alterations to structures or neural connections or neurochemistry. So we don't know how much of any brain differences are genetic or environmental.


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## chucklesR

Livia,
the different methods of storing experiences doesn't explain why men remember " you can play cards with the boys all night " but forget to take out the trash on tuesdays.
Where as women will always remember what they wore when, but not where they put our screw drivers.


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## erps

I"ve seen all the women in my family (three generations worth) say something like, "oh, it's (pick any date) and 5 years ago we were doing this, or this happened". As Chuckles said, they seem to associated the memory with a date. I often remember the same event, but have no association what so ever with a day, let alone a year. What's up with that?


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## Livia

chucklesR said:


> Livia,
> the different methods of storing experiences doesn't explain why men remember " you can play cards with the boys all night " but forget to take out the trash on tuesdays.
> Where as women will always remember what they wore when, but not where they put our screw drivers.


 Um, I don't think I said anything about that.

Maybe it is generational, cultural, socioeconomic or geographic but you seem to know different men and women than I do.


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## TrueBlue

chucklesR said:


> Where as women will always remember what they wore when, but not where they put our screw drivers.


My wife always remembers where to find the screwdriver.


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## artbyjody

I think it is because men drink more (drink to forget) - may have something to do with it


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## eMKay

Simple explanation, evolution, the whole hunter gatherer thing. Can't change a few million years of instinct with a few thousand years of civilization.


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## blt2ski

Now we are back to the 'corpus collosum' part of the brain. Mens is smaller, womens is larger! Not sure why, but probably so men could worry about one thing, ie fighting, or hunting. Women keep tabs of everything else!

so anyway, not sure there is a right or wrong answer to some of this stuff, but I am sure we men will be told what is right, even when wrong, and what is wrong, even when right. At least that is how my wife explains things!

marty


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## PBzeer

Men and women are different, period. All the worrying, research and studying that gets done to try to show why, makes it sound like a disease that can, and should, be, cured. Go through life treating each person you meet as an individual, unique unto themselves, not what you might expect them to be.


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## erps

If there weren't differences, comedians would have a lot less material to work with.


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## wind_magic

I was never able to deal with any woman long term. In the end I always just got tired of the drama and moved on. Sad, but true.


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## Jace2

'Male and Female realities' by Joe Tanenbaum. It will make the men's lives, and by association, the women's, so much easier. I've seen it work in two separate occasions with my married friends. I was shocked that this guy's book was spoken out by two different couples, unsolicited. He nailed it.


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## PJFORD

Just remember we can only perfuse one at a time! In between we're almost normal.


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