# Cruising or Midlife Crisis



## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

What to do, what to do? Hopefully some more experienced than I can help me decide my current conundrum. Midlife crisis if I live to be 128.

Gales, broken rigging, failed regulator, bad fuel, failed refrigeration, and now my first mate heads back to the states to have her hair done. Well, there was something about Drs. appointments, and closing on the sale of her house. But, now being alone for 3 days, I'm wondering what other cruisers would do. I haven't been without feminine companionship for more than one day my entire life, and the girls here are really photogenic; and friendly.

She's smart, interesting, pretty well off (really well off), young, Irish, and fair to look at. Do I wait til the end of the month when she's booked to return, or do I revert to the horn dog I really am and go for the pootie. I know someone out there has gone through the same experience, IN NEED OF HELPFUL ADVICE.

Here's a small picture of her, cropped, of course, like I said, she is fair to look at, and at coming on 64, I 'spect my good looks and robust body will start to fail, well, in about 10 years or so










Hmmmmm


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Ian...based on the FEELING I get from your post...she sounds like a keeper. Wait. 
We can get used to pictures of just "one bum on yer bow"...tho she seems to be better suited to the figurehead.


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## Freesail99 (Feb 13, 2006)

It has to be those satin sheets ......


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Cam


> "...tho she seems to be better suited to the figurehead


.

Thanks Cam, I think she is a keeper, but . . .. As for a figurehead, even though theyve been reduced from EEE to DD due to back problems, that still puts too much weight on the bow.

I'm just wondering at which point I start trying to gum hard boiled eggs (I still have my own teeth) and if this wouldn't be a good time to break it off. Where's Dr. Laura when I need her? And the girls here are really wonderful.

There's got to be some old farts out there with the same problem, C'mon I need experienced advice, the silk sheets are a separate thing, I'm allergic to cotton


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Looking at the picture I'm having trouble feeling any sympathy for you. Jelousy yes.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

In a Zen kinda way, that you ask, is your answer.


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

The thought of loneliness in the declining years so does concentrate the mind, does it not? Most of us eventually promote the relief Chief Mate to permanent status. The training alone required to break in a new one can wear you down. I met mine after I quit the sea and wasn't really sure if I was in love with her, but found I couldn't imagine not having her around. Turned out that my notion of love didn't matter a hill of beans compared to the comfort I got from being with just the right woman. I suppose I'm in love. I know I'm lucky. And, btw, I'm really happy.


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## erps (Aug 2, 2006)

I've been with my high school sweetheart for 31 years. I tease her that I only promised her 50 but I think if I posted half naked pictures of her on the internet I'd soon be cruising the high school parking lots with candy


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## badsneakers (Mar 7, 2007)

PBzeer said:


> In a Zen kinda way, that you ask, is your answer.


Zen never looked THAT GOOD!!!

Stick with her Ian!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Good advice all, still not decided. S'way, it's not 'specially the thought of lonliness in declining years, rather, the prospect of being with only one woman, and all the others yet to be met. I guess the feminine side would say that's "shallow" but the masculine side says "Oooga booga booga booga"; I've lost the English translation. 

Beezer y'er right very zen-zoidal. Oh, and not half naked, there was a tube top down there, cropping gives the impression of half nude and imagination does the rest.

So anyway, there's a couple Canadian hitch-hikers going my way, this may be the crew I need for the Sea of Cortez crossing, they look photogenic, but don't know bow from stern, but a pair of eyes at night are always welcome.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Ian...

Stay as you are...get as many as possible, you don't seem the kind that can strongly attach to just one....

We say here, man have 3 ages:

18 The schock age
30 the Chic Age
60 the cheque age...which is where you are now....or you think its your looks???


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## gonesailin40 (Sep 6, 2007)

Variety is the spice of life!

Honey if you ever see this, I was just to joking.


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## chris_gee (May 31, 2006)

What you are saying is anyone will do. Anyone because they are not a person of significance to you or at all really. But you are also saying this woman is significant.
If you have never been without female company it is time you were - what do you think would happen? Your reputation as a stud or lech might be damaged?
Temptation occurs but is only a problem if you flirt with indulging it. By the way it won't fall off in a month or so.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

chris:


> By the way it won't fall off in a month or so.


A month? A MONTH!!!!


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

Even restaurant reviewers end up with a favorite eventually.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Doesn't it depend on how many blue pills Ian has left???


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

Ian,
I'd like to see you on this schedule:
Play hide-the-badoinka with as many as you possibly can while you can. Settle down when you get tired, allowing at least twenty years for this to happen. Once you're too pooped to ---k, offer your undying faithfulness to the one you're with.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Hog, that sounds like a plan. 

Dog, What's a blue pill? Is that Viagra? I thought they were green.

Chris, thanks for the comments, sounds like my dear old mother who just celebrated her 96th.

Alex, Thats Portugal, here they're buying the men things. Womens lib and all that 60's stuff, we men have learned to live with women buying dinner, surprise presents, and lack of foreplay which I really miss. And they never want to talk after. Just roll over and go to sleep. Wham bam thank you man. Ever since all the smoking ban, there's never any conversation after. Damn Surgeon General.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Ian-

FYI, just so you're not taking the wrong meds-This is what you want:


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Thanks dog, here in Mexico, they're sold over the counter at the pharmacias, they all have a sign in the window anyway. I'll have to go check 'em out. 

I do like the warning that I've seen on tv, that if it lasts longer than 4 hours call a doctor. Shoot, I'd call the press.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Ian-

Calling the doctor is a better idea... might want to read about that condition here...

Most important and relevant quote is the section on Complications.. 

BTW, you're probably getting sugar pills at the mexican pharmacia anyway. 



ianhlnd said:


> Thanks dog, here in Mexico, they're sold over the counter at the pharmacias, they all have a sign in the window anyway. I'll have to go check 'em out.
> 
> I do like the warning that I've seen on tv, that if it lasts longer than 4 hours call a doctor. Shoot, I'd call the press.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I read this somewhere and it may help you so i'll share it with you.
go to the Mexican Pharmacy ( as you know theyre on every street corner)
ask for three little blue pills (Tres Veeagra) get a jar of vaseline or a tube of KY jelly and a litre of Jose Quervo. take one shot of quervo for every little blue pill. Do this three times till theyre gone, then take two more shots of the quervo. dont invite any deck sheep over and the KY jelly will come into play naturally enjoy!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

sailingdog said:


> Ian-
> 
> FYI, just so you're not taking the wrong meds-This is what you want:


Dog, nice to see you have your supply at the ready.


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## badsneakers (Mar 7, 2007)

ianhlnd said:


> Thanks dog, here in Mexico, they're sold over the counter at the pharmacias, they all have a sign in the window anyway. I'll have to go check 'em out.
> 
> I do like the warning that I've seen on tv, that if it lasts longer than 4 hours call a doctor. Shoot, I'd call the press.


They tell you to go to the emergency room. Why? Because that's where all the nurses are!!!


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## Sasha_V (Feb 28, 2004)

Actually, it is becasue nature provided man with erectile genitalia and an advanced brain...but only enough blood to run one at a time.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

That and your sock puppet and you're good to go eh Dawg??!! (g)


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## badsneakers (Mar 7, 2007)

Sasha_V said:


> Actually, it is becasue nature provided man with erectile genitalia and an advanced brain...but only enough blood to run one at a time.


I think we (the male of the species) are sometimes guilty of thinking with our 'little' heads.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Sorry Charlie... not mine... I don't require chemical or pharmaceutical assistance at this time....  Might not always be that way, but ain't a problem I got right now.


werebeagle said:


> Dog, nice to see you have your supply at the ready.


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## cardiacpaul (Jun 20, 2006)

I was told that I needed to complete puberty before I started the mid-life crisis.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Paul

I think you're confusing puberty with growing up.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Ummm... no comment... 


camaraderie said:


> That and your sock puppet and you're good to go eh Dawg??!! (g)


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

Ian
Just remember the old saying...money lasts, cookin' don't.


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## cardiacpaul (Jun 20, 2006)

Ron White (one of the ******* guys)
said it best I think.

She can get it lifted, tucked, pull, enhanced or colored. She can look as good at 50 as she did at 30....

"Theres not a pill or a class. Stupid is forever"


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

I guess you could say it comes down to whether you're trying to satisfy your libido or your soul. Yeah, schamltzy, but.........


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## Freesail99 (Feb 13, 2006)

There are days when your libido and your soul are connected.


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## Idiens (Jan 9, 2007)

There must be some applied game theory in here somewhere:-

Options:

1. Be faithful + She returns => losses, one month comfy nights, gains, nil
2. Be faithful + She doesn't return => losses, one month comfy nights + "She", gains nil
3. Fill bed quickly + She returns => losses, "She" (if she finds out), gains comfy nights
4. Fill bed quickly + She doesn't return, loss "She", gains comfy nights.

Optimum game plan = Fill bed quickly, don't let her find out.


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

Better have an excellent vacuum then, or make sure (how I don't know) beforehand that you bed only women with exactly the same colour of crotch hair.

Yes, my mind _does _work that way.


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## chris_gee (May 31, 2006)

Son,
You don’t have to prove you are a man to me. I guess in adolescence or in the services it helped show you weren’t gay.
As I get older I guess what impresses me has changed. I favour quality over quantity. Depth over the superficial.
Novelty has some value but I guess when you say “we men have learned to live with women buying dinner, surprise presents, and lack of foreplay which I really miss. And they never want to talk after. Just roll over and go to sleep” you have learned that coitus isn’t making love.
If you can’t talk to your partner, respect, admire, enjoy them, and miss them when they are gone then it seems to me something is missing.
I hear you bought a boat. So you are capable of making a decision, even if from time to time you will see others which are bigger and prettier. Yours will remain special because it is yours and you have shared many things and put in the effort to keep her in shape.
I know you didn’t want advice and you never did listen anyway.
Love Mother.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Dear Momma,

As you know, and warned me many times, I've always been a sailor, remember the Okanogan and the Shushwaps, I was 12, the same year Uncle Bill taught me to fly the Avionca so I could pick up groceries for the village; sailing the aluminum rowboat that I had fashioned a mast and sail. Warning me about the water and loose women. And then the King Air, boy, I could fly that baby! I know bigger isn't always better, but I have found that it is impressive, and capable of a lot of depth, nothing superficial. 

You heard I bought a boat? Which one? I've had 8 from the time I was 14. Must be the years creeping up on you that you don't remember. The one I have now is the biggest and prettiest, but you know, it's the big aft cabin with silk sheets that sets it apart. You can even have a hot bubble bath in the japanese tub.

Now you're embarrassing me using words like "coitus" and "love making". What happened to "pokey pokey" or "rubbba rubba"? I'm just doing what the girls want me to do, even though I really don't want to, or maybe just a little. Mom, you sure get explicit in your old age! But don't worry, I'm a kind and gentle person, and no, I'm not attracted to bulls with calloused hands and butch haircuts. Alas, I'm an artist, and find beauty in all women, I think that's why they like me-well, . . . except the bulls.

So Mom, don't worry about your baby boy, just say a prayer for me each night, or when you think of me, to keep me safe on the seas, allow me to do my best, to be a good person, to practice tolerance, and to get laid frequently. OK Mom?


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Just received an answer from Mom.

"You damned kid, you're just like your Father"!

Love you, Mom


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## chris_gee (May 31, 2006)

Son,
When are you going to visit?
Mom.


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## gypsywomen (Oct 27, 2007)

Show some self control, for pete sakes. If you like this woman than stop thinking with your penis and work on your boat til she gets back.
I am not triing to be rude, I realize men seldom think with the head on thier neck. Hell when my dad was on his death bed the one thing he said was, I quote " I never had enough sex in my life"
Dude, just work on your boat and nevermind the scattered ass (carma would probably give you a STD anyhow)


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## tenuki (Feb 11, 2007)

You aren't really posting on the internet to help you decide this are you?!?!? wtf.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Naw tenuki, just S & G while I'm laid up for repairs


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## Robby Barlow (Apr 23, 2006)

Crisis what crisis - at least you've got a boat. YLSOAG


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## chucklesR (Sep 17, 2007)

The key to life is to be thankful you have the choice, then shut up and scape teak or whatever.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

(Shhhhhhh . .. . don't tell the guys on the east coast S & G stands for ****s and Giggles)


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

Mom
He said a dirty word...get the soap


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

Does a hummer count as sex? It'd be nice to see you get a little strange, and then get off Scott-free on a technicality. Maybe any wounded feelings could be healed in a nice little threesome... Just thinking out loud...


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## TheFrog (Oct 25, 2007)

The President of the United States (#42) once claimed that a hummer was not sex. If my memory serves me correct he didn't get off without a little damage. Of course, his wife seemed to stick by him. Maybe she got a little something too? Bet the press would like to get the details on that rumor.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

SD,

I'm pretty sure that Clinton already tested that one, and he found out that it does.


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## CoralReefer (Jul 20, 2006)

Worked with a chef who worked at the white house at that time. He told me that Hillary had her stable of studs...


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## cardiacpaul (Jun 20, 2006)

hmmm, it didn't work out so well for vince foster.


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## GySgt (Jun 11, 2007)

Um if I have to lie, cheat, steal, or cover up, I figure I am better off keeping my whisker pole stowed until I can change my situation or understanding


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

What the hell are you talking about???


nsheehan615 said:


> SD,
> 
> I'm pretty sure that Clinton already tested that one, and he found out that it does.


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## erps (Aug 2, 2006)

> What the hell are you talking about???
> Quote:
> Originally Posted by nsheehan615
> SD,
> ...


That a blow job counts as sex.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Erps-

I think he's thinking of *S*ail*H*og, not me...


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## sailhog (Dec 11, 2006)

Oh, don't go trying to attribute all of your disgusting, perverted and deviant thoughts to me, Sailingdog.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

But Sailhog, there is no possible way that I could be anywhere near as disgusting, perverted or deviant in my thinking as you. You are truly in a class of your own.  And, I for one, am truly awed by it.    


sailhog said:


> Oh, don't go trying to attribute all of your disgusting, perverted and deviant thoughts to me, Sailingdog.


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## bogdog (Sep 8, 2007)

OK OK OK OK What you guys are missing completely is the one most important reason to stay with "the one", and no, it has nothing to do with cooking, Is she a good Sailor??????
ya know, first mate, crew, etc????? I've been around (and around) and in it all, I am happiest with just one (dam good)woman, she is the best sailor I know, (as well as all the other very important stuff). Besides, I cook. BTW money helps too And, oh ya, my dog likes her. 

I'm also sure you'll figure it out. Best of luck.


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## seabreeze_97 (Apr 30, 2006)

ianhlnd said:


> Thanks dog, here in Mexico, they're sold over the counter at the pharmacias, they all have a sign in the window anyway. I'll have to go check 'em out.
> 
> I do like the warning that I've seen on tv, that if it lasts longer than 4 hours call a doctor. Shoot, I'd call the press.


They meant call the doctor....for her!


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

An old saying that you can adapt a little to your situation...
Sometimes the F___ing you get ain't worth the F___ing you get.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Damn the picture did not work for me so its hard to decide ha ha I know the answer but its really up to you lol


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Since you only have one nights worth left I wont ask you to share!!


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