# Moving to Florida



## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

My wife and I are both traveling Respiratory Therapist. We work contract work at different hospitals and then take time off in between. We are very interested in learning to sail. Our current contract ends on 10/17/20 and we will be moving to ANYWHERE in Florida that we can learn to sail. We travel in an Rv, have no kids (in college) or animals with us. Our plan is to park the RV at a park nearby and find someone to teach us sailing. Do you guys have any recommendations on places to look for or is anyone willing to take on newbie crew members who learn fast? Thanks in advance!


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## RegisteredUser (Aug 16, 2010)

I suggest looking at the coast between ft myers and st pete


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Offshore Sailing School is/was in Ft Meyers. I’m sure there are many others.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

Minnewaska said:


> Offshore Sailing School is/was in Ft Meyers. I'm sure there are many others.


I was just looking up schools and saw that one.

Do you feel it's necessary to do the schooling? Or do many people learn as they go?


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Anyone can quickly learn how to make a boat sail. It’s all the rules, emergencies, etc, that are either never learned, if one never experiences them on their own, or bad habits are formed and become hard to break later. 

If one only plans to sail a dinghy in protected water, it takes maybe one day of instruction, then trial and error. A liveaboard keelboat is a different universe. What’s the goal?


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## mbianka (Sep 19, 2014)

Sounds like a great plan. I went sailing on a dingy with so friends on road trip. The next day I was out on the lake with it myself. Several years later I bought a 24 foot Bristol off a friend. My girlfriend suggested we both take some sailing lessons together. We spent a week on St Criox on a vacation/sailing school trip. I think it was a good idea and learned quite a lot.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

Minnewaska said:


> Anyone can quickly learn how to make a boat sail. It's all the rules, emergencies, etc, that are either never learned, if one never experiences them on their own, or bad habits are formed and become hard to break later.
> 
> If one only plans to sail a dinghy in protected water, it takes maybe one day of instruction, then trial and error. A liveaboard keelboat is a different universe. What's the goal?


The sky is the limit with goals. I can see staying in the Caribbean, I can see sailing to Hawaii or even around the world. I totally believe in education... I just highly value experience as well.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

mbianka said:


> Sounds like a great plan. I went sailing on a dingy with so friends on road trip. The next day I was out on the lake with it myself. Several years later I bought a 24 foot Bristol off a friend. My girlfriend suggested we both take some sailing lessons together. We spent a week on St Criox on a vacation/sailing school trip. I think it was a good idea and learned quite a lot.


Great idea!


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## JimsCAL (May 23, 2007)

Some introductory lessons followed by plenty of time on the water practicing. The lessons will give you a jump start and minimize the errors in trial and error.


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## eherlihy (Jan 2, 2007)

Sailing lessons will get you up to speed much faster than if you simply buy a sailboat and try to figure it out. If you want to crew, the school will teach you the common terms used in sailing (there is a LOT of new vocabulary) and show you the maneuvers used to handle a boat, and thereby make you a more effective crew member.

I have worked for Offshore Sailing School in Ft Myers (HQ is on MacGregor Blvd). They run a top-notch operation, and the Colgate 26 is a great boat to sail on, but they are one of the most expensive schools in the country. They are a US/Sailing affiliate. If you take a class through them tipping the instructor ($50-$100/person) is customary.

ASA also has several schools in your search area. You can find them here: Learn To Sail - Find An ASA Sailing School

NauticED has a hybrid learning model. You take classes on line, at your pace, and then visit a NauticED school to get sea time, practice and evaluation. Find one of their schools here; Sailing Schools who use NauticEd Certification Program


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Armonius said:


> The sky is the limit with goals. I can see staying in the Caribbean, I can see sailing to Hawaii or even around the world. I totally believe in education... I just highly value experience as well.


In that case, I would dedicate to some form of training and buy a boat that you can immediately put the learning to use on. If you don't use it, you definitely lose it. You'll soon bump into the differences of opinion whether you must start sailing a dingy first, or can buy a keel boat and learn to sail it via a good education.

There is no clear right or wrong and it's as dependent on your own aptitude to sail, which you wouldn't know at this point. It doesn't have to come naturally, it's just a matter of how quickly one takes to it.


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## mstern (May 26, 2002)

One of the best things we ever did was to take lessons on our own boat. I had a lot of experience on dinghys and knew how to "sail", but had never owned a "big" boat before. My wife bought me three lessons with a licensed captain. The lessons were not so much sailing lessons as they were seamanship lessons: how to anchor, how to handle a man overboard, rules of the road, emergency situations, docking, mooring, maintenance, etc. 

To paraphrase Capta's tag line: any idiot can make a sailboat go; it takes a sailor to make it stop.


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

I think the days of climbing on a small boat with strangers to learn is on a time out. I would not climb on a boat with someone who would take a stranger sailing, because I don't want to use the services of a respiratory therapist.

Take a class or two and buy a small boat and teach yourself the rest. Do you tow a second vehicle with you if not you could tow a boat with you when you go to your next assignment? A 19 foot boat can be rigged easily in under an hour and day sailed or the right small boat can even be slept on.


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

jephotog said:


> I think the days of climbing on a small boat with strangers to learn is on a time out. I would not climb on a boat with someone who would take a stranger sailing, because I don't want to use the services of a respiratory therapist


That's a pretty fair caution. However, being outdoors in the cockpit, with all participants wearing masks and proper surface sanitation, I would think it would be fairly safe environment. Certainly better than any enclosed grocery store I've ever been inside. Not as good as staying fully distanced.


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

Minnewaska said:


> That's a pretty fair caution. However, being outdoors in the cockpit, with all participants wearing masks and proper surface sanitation, I would think it would be fairly safe environment. Certainly better than any enclosed grocery store I've ever been inside. Not as good as staying fully distanced.


I like sailing, I like taking people sailing, I like teaching people new skills, I hate wearing a mask. I do it when I have to but don't plan on taking anyone sailing until I can do it safely without wearing a mask.


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

jephotog said:


> I do it when I have to but don't plan on taking anyone sailing until I can do it safely without wearing a mask.


Good plan, if you don't want to wear one. I would hope the sailing schools aren't giving their instructors or students the option.

Although, I had some technicians come to the boat a few weeks ago. The day prior, their office called to say that they and we all needed to wear masks and should avoid being down below together, which wasn't going to be necessary anyway. When the guys arrived and climbed aboard, there were no masks. I asked the plan and they said it was up to me. We all wore them for the entire couple of hours they were aboard and they gave no fuss. However, they clearly would have taken a pass, if I allowed it.

These are indeed issues that need to be discussed and agreed upon these days.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

Thanks for all the info folks! Do you think it is necessary for both my wife and I to take the courses or just me? I will be doing all the "driving" with her just helping me out.


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## denverd0n (Jun 20, 2008)

What if something happens to you? I would suggest that you both take the course. Even if she never "drives," she'll probably be happier understanding what is going on.


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

Armonius said:


> Thanks for all the info folks! Do you think it is necessary for both my wife and I to take the courses or just me? I will be doing all the "driving" with her just helping me out.


Suppose you get hurt......she should take the course too besides why doesn't she get to enjoy the feeling of steering. I would think you'd want to encourage her to enjoy it equally 
My wife is my partner....I trust her with the helm for hours.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

chef2sail said:


> Suppose you get hurt......she should take the course too besides why doesn't she get to enjoy the feeling of steering. I would think you'd want to encourage her to enjoy it equally
> My wife is my partner....I trust her with the helm for hours.


Her choice not mine. I am sure your wife wants to take the helm. Mine wants to sit and enjoy the ride lol

Edit: I my wife is 100% my partner as well. I trust her with anything. That was never the issue.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

denverd0n said:


> What if something happens to you? I would suggest that you both take the course. Even if she never "drives," she'll probably be happier understanding what is going on.


Do you feel she needs to take all the ASA courses or just the 101?


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

And which ones should I take as well?


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

I understand preferred roles. My wife chooses what she prefers to do and I’m fine with it. She does not want to learn to dock the boat, for example. Not in our complex slip anyway. It’s admittedly harder for her to catch up, as she started 10 years ago, with formal lessons, on a big boat. I’ve been on the water for over 40 years. 

That said, if your dreams have no limit, the fact is you’ll NEED her to be able to do any role. You can’t stay awake 24/7. I happily recall my wife’s first overnight watch. She asked me to doze in the cockpit, which I did, but never intervened. On her next night watch, I slept down below. 

Funny story, on that first watch that I slept below, I came up for my watch, in the middle of the night, and found her scrambling between the plotter, helm and looking out at sea. She was passing a fishing boat. All good, however, it couldn’t have been more than a couple hundred yards away!! We discussed how big the ocean is and how we should take advantage of it.


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Armonius said:


> And which ones should I take as well?


I'd recommend you both do them all. From 101 to Coastal and Nav. Bareboat certification can be nice to have too, if you plan to charter somewhere. Bareboating is also a good way to learn your team roles and whether you both have an attraction to living aboard.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

Minnewaska said:


> I understand preferred roles. My wife chooses what she prefers to do and I'm fine with it. She does not want to learn to dock the boat, for example. Not in our complex slip anyway. It's admittedly harder for her to catch up, as she started 10 years ago, with formal lessons, on a big boat. I've been on the water for over 40 years.
> 
> That said, if your dreams have no limit, the fact is you'll NEED her to be able to do any role. You can't stay awake 24/7. I happily recall my wife's first overnight watch. She asked me to doze in the cockpit, which I did, but never intervened. On her next night watch, I slept down below.
> 
> Funny story, on that first watch that I slept below, I came up for my watch, in the middle of the night, and found her scrambling between the plotter, helm and looking out at sea. She was passing a fishing boat. All good, however, it couldn't have been more than a couple hundred yards away!! We discussed how big the ocean is and how we should take advantage of it.


I love hearing these kind of stories. Of course at some point she'll need to know how to do everything. But I'm not looking at doing anything like that for a long while (I gotta get it figured out still). My plan was just to take day trips, stay along the coast line and duck into harbors and marinas if we wanted to do something that took multiple days. I guess I was thinking that I could teach her as I grew more comfortable with sailing.


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Be careful. Teaching is a skill that is entirely different than the underlying subject matter. It’s well known that spouses don’t learn well from each other, in a structured way. Some teaching techniques are not compatible with a relationship.

I‘ve been an instructor in a few things, not sailing, in my lifetime. Intentionally leaving a student in a place, where they will discover the right answer, possibly make a mistake doing so, is not what my wife would expect me to do for her. Not to mention telling her she did something wrong.


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

I’ve got a number of friends whose wives don’t go out with them often. Essentially the boat is the husbands and the wife is basically a passenger. sometimes they go through life like that. I’ve seen it where the wife eventually may resent spending all the time, and money . This may be a one of situation, but I’ve seen it happen a number of times.

I had Haleakula when I married and had already sailed for 20 years. My wife knew absolutely zero about boats. I knew she loved the outdoors but had some unnatural fears of the water. She was willing to try it as she wanted to do something we could do together. She took ASA 101-104. We joined a yacht club where she could talk and bond with other women who were out on sailboats every weekend.

I took it very slow and measured with her so she would gain confidence in herself, the boat and my commitment to safety. The first year we stay in the Chesapeake, anchoring every weekend. Having diners on the boat. Occasionally rafting up with others. I was careful not to go out days it was blowing 25-30 as I didn’t want to scare her. We reversed roles numbers of times with her at the helm increasingly in close quarter situations as well. By the end of year one she had docked the boat a few times. Instead of teaching her like a captain, I let her ask questions. The second year I went out in occasionally reefable situations. We took a weeks vacation to Cape May where we went into the ocean sailing just for fun a couple of the days.

Our routine on the boat, we don’t have “assigned” roles. I do a lot of the cooking. She does some of the cleaning , and I take care of the maintainence and systems of the boat including her to help me. She’s and excellent seamstress so she began making our canvas. The boat became as much hers as mine through her participation. She loved feeling the power of Haleakula when she started going.

the third year we went to New York City, up the Jersey coast . Stayed in sight of land. On the Chesapeake we occasionally did some night sails. We have a chart plotter and I pad with Navionics so she learned to follow us and with that came more questions. Year 5 we finally to an overnight trip to Block Island from Cape May, a 36 hour trip putting you about 100 miles off the coast at one point.

She built her confidence up gradually. I took our racer cruiser and made her a cruiser racer with amenities that made it comfortable to take 3 week vacations on. She embraced the boating lifestyle. It became our place to bond together and share new experiences. The boat is just mine with her supporting something I like, it became more ours. For us I think it’s because I let her leRn at her own rate, occasionally coaxing her with praise to try the steering and navigation.

she would tell you she’s not as good as me where I make things look easy compared to her. I told her I had a 23 year jump and it wasn’t about me, but rather her improving vrs herself.

This doesn’t work for everyone. We’ve all seen the control freak captains who only allow their wives the helm in non challenging/ threatening situations. This worked would not have worked for us. You have to figure out the comfort level each couple has. Because of how she learned she’s an active participant. She doesn’t feel she’s helping me, rather we are doing it together. Yes there are times that we fall into to traditional roles where we each have comfort levels, but for the most part we try not to do that. Our boats and our relationship on it has carried over into our lives or vice versa.

You have to find your own level of comfort. Certainly affording her the oppertunity to learn through teaching is a good thing and you both would benefit from it. Since you really have no overriding experience you both kind of start as equals. Good luck in figuring what works for you.😀😀😀😀


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## JimsCAL (May 23, 2007)

Love these stories about how people share their sailing with their partners. My wife (then girlfriend) and I started sailing together when I bought a 14 foot daysailer. We soon moved up to a 22 foot ODay on Barnegat Bay and then a series of boats (26', 30 ' and 33') on Long Island Sound. Her ability to spend weeks with me on a small boat was one of the things that convinced me we had a good shot at a long marriage. 

I never took sailing lessons but had some experience on power boats, had graduated from a maritime academy, and had a USCG engineering officers license. Read a lot about sailing but still made a lot of dumb mistakes early on. Still learning.


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## eherlihy (Jan 2, 2007)

I suggest that you take an ASA 101 course without her. Shortly thereafter, have her take 101 without you. She will provide you with a refresher, and her learning will not be eclipsed by your presence in the classroom or on the boat.


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## capta (Jun 27, 2011)

In your situation my suggestion would be to buy a 15 foot or smaller very cheap dinghy that's pretty beat up, but serviceable. This is not going to be a boat to take your friends out on, but instead you will be crashing into docks, running aground and even tipping her over on occasion. This is the boat to make all your beginner's mistakes on, before you buy a nicer, more expensive boat. And believe me, if you start with the more expensive boat, you are still going to make all the same mistakes, classes or not, but the repair bills will be much more expensive, and if you load the boat up with friends, there is the possibility of someone getting hurt. Sailing isn't rocket science, but it does take a lot of sailing to get it.

This is how almost every professional sailor of note learned to sail, not through some expensive cookie cutter course.

Along with your little beater, I would highly recommend a great little book called Royce's Sailing Illustrated, a fun yet very comprehensive book filled with important information for the novice sailor or experienced professional. No massive preachy tome this, just a well put together book with everything from rigging, docking and even splicing. I've been using it to teach sailing for over 45 years, and still refer to it now and then, myself.

As you gain sailing experience, and spend time with other sailors, either just chatting, or sailing on their boats, you'll gain a much better idea of the bigger boat you will actually want to own.

If you a good and patient teacher, you could get away with taking the lessons alone, but it is hard on a relationship to teach something as alien as sailing (it even has its own language) to a loved one.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

I'm not sure I made this known but I have plenty of experience on motor boats. I am sure there is some nuance with sailboats under power... however I am pretty confident that I can handle one under power. Its the sailing part I haven't a clue about.


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

Armonius said:


> I'm not sure I made this known but I have plenty of experience on motor boats. I am sure there is some nuance with sailboats under power... however I am pretty confident that I can handle one under power. Its the sailing part I haven't a clue about.


Your previous boating experience will be an advantage.

However a sailboat under poet is not the same as a powerboat. For example in a previous statement you mentioned about running in and out of inlets.

"Running an inlet" in a boat which is affected by current which doesn't go faster than 6.5 knots and has a 5 foot draft is a different kettle of fish than powering through an inlet on a powerboat. Inlet transits can present the most dangerous challenges for a sailboater. You cant outrun the hydraulics or conditions. In poor or increasing weather an inlet can present far more dangerous conditions than the open ocean or the bay behind the inlet.

There have been numerous times I have sat it out and waited for weather to improve rather than run the inlet. Powerboaters don't usually do that.


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## Zemurray (Oct 28, 2018)

jephotog said:


> I think the days of climbing on a small boat with strangers to learn is on a time out. I would not climb on a boat with someone who would take a stranger sailing, because I don't want to use the services of a respiratory therapist.


The ASA instructors, and all small boat charters down here in FL are in full swing. It's an outdoor activity, and I've not seen any of the captains around here worrying about the virus. They are glad to be working after having a slow spring. There are 4 ASA schools here in the small Marina I'm in, all busy. There's another half dozen small boat charters, all busy.

To the OP. My wife and I took the ASA classes together. We booked them back to back over a week. It was a great experience and we learned a lot. We wanted to take the class and get experience, make sure we liked it, and pick the instructors brain about boats. We immediately went boat shopping afterwards and bought a boat a few months later. We love it. Highly recommended a good school and private ASA classes.


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

Zemurray said:


> The ASA instructors, and all small boat charters down here in FL are in full swing. It's an outdoor activity, and I've not seen any of the captains around here worrying about the virus. They are glad to be working after having a slow spring. There are 4 ASA schools here in the small Marina I'm in, all busy. There's another half dozen small boat charters, all busy.


No question if it were my job/career I would strap on a mask and go to work, especially if it meant getting paid to sail/instruct. As a private citizen, I am not looking to invite strangers onboard to learn to sail. It is truly a shame, as I have sailed 100s if not thousands of days on other people's boats. I have also gathered random people to split the cost of a charter and taken out friends and friends of friends to introduce them to sailing. Some of them went out and bought a boat or changed careers as a result of the experience.

In a different time, it was fairly easy to learn to sail or get out sailing for free or relatively cheaply. Nowadays I think it is better just to suck it up and pay for ASA or similar training, no more free rides, learning to sail.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

jephotog said:


> No question if it were my job/career I would strap on a mask and go to work, especially if it meant getting paid to sail/instruct. As a private citizen, I am not looking to invite strangers onboard to learn to sail. It is truly a shame, as I have sailed 100s if not thousands of days on other people's boats. I have also gathered random people to split the cost of a charter and taken out friends and friends of friends to introduce them to sailing. Some of them went out and bought a boat or changed careers as a result of the experience.
> 
> In a different time, it was fairly easy to learn to sail or get out sailing for free or relatively cheaply. Nowadays I think it is better just to suck it up and pay for ASA or similar training, no more free rides, learning to sail.


is that true though or just less "free rides"? I don't have any problem paying the money for classes, I just want to know what is the absolute best way possible to learn to sail.


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

Armonius said:


> is that true though or just less "free rides"? I don't have any problem paying the money for classes, I just want to know what is the absolute best way possible to learn to sail.


By far the best way to sail is to go out and take an ASA class then rent a boat a bunch of times, then take another ASA class and rent a bigger boat.

I am not sure what you asked "is true", but my take on free rides is it was a great way to get out sailing and a great way for some to get introduced to sailing. As a tool for learning the free rides are generally a bad approach. Not everyone is good sailor and if you are on the wrong boat, you will learn bad habits or some things that are just plain wrong or dangerous. Once learned it is hard to unlearn.

You should drive to the nearest marina or call the nearest group of sailing schools and attend the soonest ASA101 class you can. Go to a school that has a club associated with it, so you can then rent their boats and start learning and improving.


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## capta (Jun 27, 2011)

Even if passengers could get here and we could travel freely between the islands, none of which is possible yet, I doubt that we would live with strangers for a week, until there was a viable vaccine. I think opening the airport here is a huge mistake as shown by what has happened in the USVI and the French islands.


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## grumpyolddude (Feb 25, 2016)

We live in St. Petersburg, we took lessons at a local boat club, Boga Ciega Yacht club, in Gulfport. It was a good experience, school on wed. night, and sailing on Sat. My wife took the classes with me, she needs to know what to do when I fall off the boat. That means come back and get me, not sell everything and head to Hawaii.


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## capta (Jun 27, 2011)

grumpyolddude said:


> My wife took the classes with me, she needs to know what to do when I fall off the boat. That means come back and get me, not sell everything and head to Hawaii.


Good luck with that one, grumpy old dude. lol


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

Armonius said:


> Her choice not mine. I am sure your wife wants to take the helm. Mine wants to sit and enjoy the ride lol


While you can sail a boat solo, it is an advanced set of skills that takes time to build up to. If you wife does not want to drive she will have to at least learn to shift the gears (adjust the sails or change the sails). Someone needs to drive the boat into the dock, while the other needs to jump off and secure the boat in the slip. If something goes wrong or the wind picks up you need someone onboard that knows what they are doing and can help you out.

Sailing is not a sip champagne and eat grapes, while the captain drives activity. If your wife does not want to take an active roll in this venture consider a power boat.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

jephotog said:


> While you can sail a boat solo, it is an advanced set of skills that takes time to build up to. If you wife does not want to drive she will have to at least learn to shift the gears (adjust the sails or change the sails). Someone needs to drive the boat into the dock, while the other needs to jump off and secure the boat in the slip. If something goes wrong or the wind picks up you need someone onboard that knows what they are doing and can help you out.
> 
> Sailing is not a sip champagne and eat grapes, while the captain drives activity. If your wife does not want to take an active roll in this venture consider a power boat.


The question posed was "does she need to take the classes?" Everything you listed there is something I can teach her.

Just gonna day that while most of you are very helpful,some of you can be quite rude.


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## jephotog (Feb 25, 2002)

Armonius said:


> The question posed was "does she need to take the classes?" Everything you listed there is something I can teach her.
> 
> Just gonna day that while most of you are very helpful,some of you can be quite rude.


I was hoping you would become offended and take this as a wake up call. Without re-reading the entire thread, I felt the consensus is your wife should be just as highly trained in how to operate a boat, yet you have somehow convinced yourself otherwise.

A simple example why sailing a boat is different than driving an RV: If you wanted to move the RV 70 miles, either of you can hop in and drive it for about an hour. The other partner can take a nap or cook breakfast or clean the RV enroute.

The same trip on a sailboat might take 12 or more hours. If your wife can't drive the boat, you will have to be on duty for a 12 hour shift at the end, you will have to navigate a strange harbor in the dark while fatigued. That is best case scenario. If the boat or weather does not cooperate you might be up for 18 or more hours when trying to enter the harbor.

Even though my wife and i have sailed 1-2 weeks at a time on a boat together, I have sent my wife to school, so she can handle the boat with more confidence and I can take a nap while she handles the boat. There are a ton of reasons why a spouse should be just as knowledgable when it comes to sailing a boat.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

jephotog said:


> I was hoping you would become offended and take this as a wake up call. *Without re-reading the entire thread*, I felt the consensus is your wife should be just as highly trained in how to operate a boat, yet you have somehow convinced yourself otherwise.
> 
> A simple example why sailing a boat is different than driving an RV: If you wanted to move the RV 70 miles, either of you can hop in and drive it for about an hour. The other partner can take a nap or cook breakfast or clean the RV enroute.
> 
> ...


Maybe you should have reread the thread.


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

I was not trying to offend in my replys so I hope I was not who you referred to

I will address the ability to teach her yourself.

Maybe you could after you learned. Sailing is not the same as power boating. Not just the technical part, but different kind of boats. However when we instruct we play the teacher role, you also have to play the captain role that’s demanding something to be done , like positionally what both do when docking a boat.

I found my wife learned the basics more quickly in a class of peers than from a commanding captain . Just saying.

either way you do it make it fun for her so she wants to go


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

chef2sail said:


> I was not trying to offend in my replys so I hope I was not who you referred to
> 
> I will address the ability to teach her yourself.
> 
> ...


Not at all. I actually have been convinced by most of you to have her take the course. And Im not sure who suggested it but to have her take it separately after I take it. If I am around she will tend to let me do everything, so by me not being there she will be more open to learning it herself.


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## mstern (May 26, 2002)

A big thumbs up to having someone else teach your wife. Whatever underlying power dynamic you two have in your marriage will play out, in spades, when you try and teach her sailing. She is likely to be more open to learning and being told what to do by someone other than her husband. I'm just sayin'.... I'd also look into one of those outfits that has female instructors. I know one of them has a motto something like "No Yelling!" Last summer (our first on my "new" boat), we hired a captain to come on board and give my wife lessons on our own boat. I specifically looked for a female skipper. Glad I did; not that men can't be calm and courteous teachers, but I know my wife felt more comfortable with Captain Joy.


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## eherlihy (Jan 2, 2007)

I don't KNOW about the necessity of a female instructor, because I am not a female. I am, however, an instructor. 

When I have taught hetero- couples, I frequently see the male eclipse the female. Whenever we have a couple in a multi-boat class, I try to break the male and female to sail on separate boats. One Basic Keel Boat class that I taught was made of 3 couples that did not know each other outside of class. We divided the class into a "guy's boat" and a "gal's boat." The couples attended lecture together, and sailed separately. I suspect that they had something new to discuss over dinner. All the students passed the course with flying colors, all had a great time, the course went well (no drama), and each student left with four new friends. 

I have also seen some female instructors that were great, and others that I would not want on my boat as rail meat.


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## Armonius (Aug 19, 2020)

eherlihy said:


> and *others that I would not want on my boat as rail meat*.


Tell us how you really feel!!! Lol


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