# Crusing life style vs giving back



## davidpm (Oct 22, 2007)

This question is not meant as a put down of the choices anyone else has made. I'm just interested in if this question has come up at all and if so what is your thinking?

I suspect I'm going to get some strong opinions on this which I welcome. 

I have a friend nearing retirement who has been a weekend and vacation sailor for many years. He and his wife are considering buying an appropriate boat and doing some cruising as have thousands of other retiree's before them.

The question is one of purpose. He confided in me that taking a few months off or even a year or two sounds plausible but then what?

It's not that he hasn't worked hard for decades and has the right to do as he pleases with his own money. But he worries that after a few hundred beautiful sunsets he will be itching to contribute to others in some meaningful way and not just be a visitor or dare I say it a tourist. 

We have had dozens of threads about the perfect boat and how to successfully manage the cruising lifestyle but what about the bigger question. Does it really make you happy and if so for how long. If it ends up just being an extended vacation do you expect it to be fulfilling and if so for how long. If not what do you plan on doing after cruising?


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

davidpm said:


> This question is not meant as a put down of the choices anyone else has made. I'm just interested in if this question has come up at all and if so what is your thinking?
> 
> I suspect I'm going to get some strong opinions on this which I welcome.
> 
> ...


David,

If I wasn't going off cruising then I'd be spending my last few active years jumping on and off aeroplanes and ships as we travelled around the world. Then I'd settle down in a cottage by the sea.

Instead we'll do it by boat though we probably won't wrack up as many frequent flyer points.

As for giving back , I had my first job back in 1966 and I've been pretty much working ever since. From here on in sloth rules. 

cheers

Andrew


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## FSMike (Jan 15, 2010)

davidpm said:


> ---- he worries that after a few hundred beautiful sunsets he will be itching to contribute to others in some meaningful way and not just be a visitor or dare I say it a tourist.


There's nothing that says you can't contribute to others if you live on a boat. Perhaps your friend has left his imagination behind.


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## aeventyr60 (Jun 29, 2011)

Good question David. Purpose? Yes, difficult for many out here, and then not so for others. Since I started cruising at a much earlier age (37) my sense of purpose was to escape the daily grind of an ordinary existence. To travel the road less traveled, see new worlds, experience and live life on my own terms. Really interesting experience out here.



I think the idea of contributing to others is great, and we try in small ways to offer assistance in the many small communities we visit. My wife was a nurse so the opportunities for her were endless.
It does not take a lot of imagination to contribute, in some way. I imagine your friend could contribute somehow, someway, somewhere if he wants. Up to him to decide on how he wants to live his life, at sea. 

In many area where cruisers congregate there are always some type of fund raiser, community awareness, school to support, hospital to be built activities etc. Have met many Doctors, Nurses, Dentists, IT, Builders, Electricians, Plumbers,Shipwrights,Teachers,Musicians, who give their time freely out here.


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## aeventyr60 (Jun 29, 2011)

tdw said:


> David,
> 
> If I wasn't going off cruising then I'd be spending my last few active years jumping on and off aeroplanes and ships as we travelled around the world. Then I'd settle down in a cottage by the sea.
> 
> ...


I think you will be one of the first ones to get stuck in when the need arises. Sloth is good out here, you'll blend in just fine.


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## fryewe (Dec 4, 2004)

Give back? To those who helped me build that?


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## ParadiseParrot (Oct 6, 2010)

There is always a Cruiser School or Building Project going on.

Hurricane's come every year.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

What an odd question ... at least to me. What does cruising have to do with "giving back"? And just what the heck is "giving back" anyway? Near as I can tell, it's that the more productive/constructive member of society you are, the more you owe society.


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## dacap06 (Feb 2, 2008)

Giving back to a community is one of the most rewarding things you can do. One of life's greatest secrets is that you will receive in gratitude three times what you put into the giving, and that is in addition to the satisfaction you'll feel. It doesn't have to be much or often but I believe everyone should so something for their fellow man.

Certainly, previous responses have already captured that giving back and cruising are not mutually exclusive. I will also add that neither are giving back and working. My wife and I have done charity work for over a decade now, and I look forward to more of it in 8 years when I retire. 

There is so much you can choose from even if you stop by a place only temporarily. Do you have special skills? Employ them! Call a church and see what local projects they're doing. Volunteer at a hospital. They always need people. Is there a Good Will shop nearby? They always need folks to process donations. Do you sing or play an instrument? Call a retirement home and see if they'd like a performance, or a jam session. You might not even need your own instrument if you play keyboards.

When you start cruising you'll find many of your fellow cruisers down at the bar. But you'll find the more interesting ones out and around town, and every so often in a place of human need. Why are they more interesting? Because they are more plugged into the locality and have more to talk about -- stuff that's happening right now right where you are..

Regards,

Tom


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

I agree. Giving of your time to help others is very rewarding.

Cruisers may wish to consider joining Seven Seas Cruising Association (Welcome to the Seven Seas Cruising Association). It is a fine network of people cruising full- and part-time all over the world. Many participate in community projects wherever they happen to land temporarily or permanently. I help with the monthly bulletin provided to members and often I come across stories of people doing just that.


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## Heinous (Mar 25, 2009)

That is one of the strangest concerns I have ever heard. Give what back?


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## Ajax_MD (Nov 24, 2009)

In only a few responses, what I'm hearing is that "cruising and giving back are not mutually exclusive".

Your friend can live on a boat, and/or travel, and still give back. It's all in how he chooses to contribute.

His question is certainly valid. I've read numerous articles about retirees/baby boomers who in retirement, are seeking purpose and meaning. Many of these people have retired from the corporate grind, and are taking low/non-pay jobs with charities, building homes for the poor, working in shelters and soup kitchens, etc.

He sounds like one of these people.


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## wingNwing (Apr 28, 2008)

Love this question! And as DaCap said, among the most rewarding times we have had, are those where we were plugged into the local community instead of the local cruisers' potlucks. Heck, if we just wanted to meet other cruisers, we could have stayed in Annapolis and let them come to us. 

Lots of excellent suggestions already have been made in this thread of ways to leave the world better than you found it. Everyone has to have for him/herself a reason why they're getting out of bed in the morning. For a good chunk of our lives it was a job. Then for a while it was sloth, the reason for getting out of bed was, well, habit. After a while, you realize that even the most beautiful beaches begin to look alike. So we started to work some other stuff into our cruising. While we were in the Bahamas, we were able to plug in to the local elementary school and tutor some of the kids in math. In FL last winter we got in with a group that dressed up as pirates -- but also posed for "get your photo taken with a pirate (cost $1, all proceeds to charity);" and living history events for all ages. Offbeat stuff that didn't require particular skills or equipment or major time committment. Art? Writing? In my case, a regular blog in our local paper to help non-sailors understand this obsession that half of Annapolis seems to have.

If you feel like you've made enough contributions already in your life, and have enough resources to support yourself in whatever style you want to live from here on, I believe you have no obligation to do any more. If you're lucky, you won't get bored.


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## dongreerps (May 14, 2007)

The. re is a significant amount of research bearing on this question, much of it coordinated by McKee MD when he worked for Pfiser. Men see life as a race to 65. They see nothing after that. Ladies visualize further stages in life out to about age 90. But most interesting is the fact that two years after retirement if you ask a man who could visualize nothing to do after age 65 what he is doing, his reply almost universally is "How did I ever find time to work?" in other words your discomfort at what the future holds is very very common, but experience of others is that there will be lots of opportunities for you to discover.Your problem will be to choose which is the most fun.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

> If you feel like you've made enough contributions already in your life, and have enough resources to support yourself in whatever style you want to live from here on, I believe you have no obligation to do any more. If you're lucky, you won't get bored.


See, it's the "enough contributions" thing that I have a problem with. It's like trying to measure something you can't define.

I don't help my neighbor because it adds to my "total of contributions", or because I'm "giving back", I help them because it's the right thing to do. The whole notion of "giving back" presumes a repayment of something that someone else gave you. An obligation incurred, and that has a definite amount to be repaid.

I don't worry if someone "gives back" to me, because I don't see being a decent human being as being a matter of quid pro quo's. I don't have a bumper sticker on my transom saying "I gave back". I haven't done anything special or extraordinary, nor fulfilled some obligation I owe, simply by trying to be a decent person.

It may seem like no big thing, but the way something is framed, reflects on what is inside the frame.


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

I think "giving back" is well known as simply meaning "volunteering your time." I'm not sure that it's worth raising an issue over semantics.


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## TQA (Apr 4, 2009)

Well 

reading programs

beach clean ups

turtle conservation projects

animal rescue centres

lionfish hunts

I have done some and know of others who do at least oone of the above. No biggie!


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## Heinous (Mar 25, 2009)

I can't wait to not have to work every day, and I can't imagine ever "running out of things to do." That's crazy!


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

> I think "giving back" is well known as simply meaning "volunteering your time." I'm not sure that it's worth raising an issue over semantics.


Having been put in the public discourse as "raise taxes on the rich" because they don't "pay their fair share", I find it hard not to see it that way.

Semantics aside, I still find the question odd.


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## orthomartin (Oct 21, 2006)

DRFerron, I'm with you. Pay no mind to PBzeer, you will see he takes a position on all things, besides I don't think he is really even a cruiser outside safe US waters and in reach of the internet
When born so lucky to have opportunities and education (like being born in USA) it is a gift to ourselves to return something to those born less fortunate


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## utchuckd (Apr 4, 2010)

orthomartin said:


> to return something to those born less fortunate


That implies we took something from them. Just by having something doesn't mean I took it from somebody else.


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## fryewe (Dec 4, 2004)

Lucky enough to be born in the States? You mean the same luck portioned out to both Will Rogers and Clyde Barrow?

Opportunity is just that...not a silver spoon.

My aversion to "giving back" is not semantics. It is the attitude behind it that implies that if I don't give a "tithe" to somebody's pet project like saving turtles I am somehow less altruistic and not supportive of community needs.

It's the aggressive push of "community service" by those who think they are our "betters" that irritates me. Kids now have to have it on their resumes for high school graduation and entrance to college. How about teaching them to read and write and do arithmetic and to THINK?


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

orthomartin said:


> DRFerron, I'm with you. Pay no mind to PBzeer, you will see he takes a position on all things, besides I don't think he is really even a cruiser outside safe US waters and in reach of the internet
> When born so lucky to have opportunities and education (like being born in USA) it is a gift to ourselves to return something to those born less fortunate


I wonder why you felt the need to make this personal? Other than expressing disapproval for the question and the term "giving back", I have said nothing negative about any of the other posters. And I certainly don't question how fortunate someone is or isn't, before helping them. I help because I can, not because I must.


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

What if we change the title to "Cruising lifestyle vs. Doing something nice for someone else regardless"?


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

No matter how you frame the question Donna, it still comes out as a one or the other (versus). Whether it was meant that way, or even what he means by "giving back", are things davidpm needs to clarify.

I don't think there's anyone who has responded to this thread that doesn't believe in helping out their neighbor, whether they are next door, the next country, or halfway around the world. Helping each other is part of maintaining a civilized society and each person has their own reasons for doing so, if they choose to do so.


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

John,

Maybe I read it wrong, but the way I understood davidpm's explanation of his friend's dilemma was that his friend is unaware that there may be opportunities to do something worthwhile while he's enjoying the cruising lifestyle, or after he has finished the "only cruising" phase.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

I'm not sure what he meant Donna, as the thread title seems at odds with the body of the post.


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## ParadiseParrot (Oct 6, 2010)

PBzeer said:


> I'm not sure what he meant Donna, as the thread title seems at odds with the body of the post.


There always seems to be some kind of anger in most of your posts.

Why is that?

Frustration of some kind?

Lets try some Positive Waves Baby! Good for the Karma.


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## copacabana (Oct 1, 2007)

PB, why get hung up on the terms used? "Give back", "pay forward" etc. We all know what the OP meant. No need to quibble. As Parrot said above- good for the karma. I help out with charities and consider it a way of returning to society some of what I was fortunate to receive. No obligation, just compassion.

Cheers!


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## Frogwatch (Jan 22, 2011)

I too do not like the implied tone of "giving back". I do not think I need to give anything back because "I did build that" providing employment to people so if I choose to simply go sailing for any length nobody has any right to question that.
When I consider what I should do to help humanity, I think that I am doing just what I should be doing, I invent scientific instruments and will probably continue doing so until I die because i am unable to stop. There is no consideration of "giving back". I am the one who went without being paid while the employees bitched about how they thought they should be paid more. I'm the one who owns the old junk truck and a less expensive home and a small old sailboat so I could afford to sink money into my business while they all drive expensive cars and have nice homes. I am the one who gave up ALL outside activities for two years o concentrate on keeping the business alive because I thought i owed it to them. One of em comes to me when business is clearly really rough asking how stable his job is because he wants to refi cuz he is underwater on his enormous house. He's a good employee at his job and I do not tell him that I think that anybody who could somehow become that far underwater mustn't have more'n two neurons of economic sense.
SO, I'll continue cruising as much as I want (really not that much) several times a year while I continue to develop weird stuff most of the time. Do not dare question how much time I spend aboard my ancient 28' boat that is worth less than most of their car downpayments. Giving back? It makes no sense to me.


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## rbrasi (Mar 21, 2011)

That's it- i'm sailing to the next habitat for humanity build. I'm thinking... South East Asia.


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## davidpm (Oct 22, 2007)

I can now see how the phrase "giving back" has connotations for some people I did not mean to convey. I had hoped that the subsequent question would have clarified things. So to be explicit the question was not meant to imply or suggest any obligation only an option.

And truth be told the crux of the question was essentially a selfish one in that my friend is primarily asking about the physiological effect of long term cruising. In fact the "giving back" part may not even be the real issue. It may be the difficulty in making new friends if you seldom stay more than a few weeks at any one location.

I have read of people and even spoken to people who have left paradise because the transient relationships were not enough for them.
Perhaps understanding oneself in this matter would guide different people to make different choices about their schedule.
For example instead of a two year around the world trip maybe a two year Caribbean trip to allow for some stays long enough to get to know people and maybe contribute to the local community might be even more fulfilling.

I'm fully aware that different people will come up with different answers and that their are no wrong answers. It just seems like a potentially useful path of enquiry.


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

I guess maybe I misunderstood David's OP , I took it to mean that his friend was worried he'd simply get bored with nothing to exercise his mind or body beyond perpetual holiday.

Personally that is not a problem I'm likely to face as there are too many things I've not yet done but if I find myself helping somebody out then so be it.


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## ParadiseParrot (Oct 6, 2010)

Cruisers don't bring kids books to the bookless in St. Lucia because they "owe" anything. They do it because the little kids need the books to read. They do it because when they see the faces of the kids and teachers It makes THEM feel good. And that is as it should be.

He's no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. (Jesus)
God has given enough for everyone's need, but not enough for everyone's greed. [Gandhi]

Give a few minutes of your time and reap the rewards.


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## davidpm (Oct 22, 2007)

ParadiseParrot said:


> He's no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. (Jesus)


Jim Elliot Quote
Jim Elliot


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

Let me put it this way Parrot, you can think I'm angry, but you aren't going to find a whole lot of agreement from anybody that's been around awhile. But you'll find quite a few people that will say I have good reason to be. So perhaps we can get back to the topic at hand, now that you've got your little swipe at me in, eh?


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## ParadiseParrot (Oct 6, 2010)

Agreement? Not looking for validation here zeer. Just trying to gain some input and a little knowledge while doing my bit to reciprocate where I can. My comment was not a swipe but it is how you come across to me. Like you have a chip on your shoulder. You always seem to shout that "no one helped me and I do for myself so screw everyone else let them do for themselves like I did attitude. It's not true of course. At the very least your mother gave you life just as mine did me. If you don't want to help or "give back" to anyone It's all right with me. Truly. I have no interest in interfering with others pursuit of Happiness. But if the OP wants to cruise around the Spanish Main rebuilding houses for those that got wiped out by some Hurricane or other then I will say "good for you" and maybe stop and help him myself. Maybe then I might learn something. Which Is all I can ask of any day.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

As cliched as it sounds david, life IS a journey, an exploration of the new, as well as an affirmation of what we hold dear from where we have been. Since I've been cruising, I've met well over 50 people though sailing forums. Many have gone out of their way to assist me, just as I've gone out of my way to assist some of them. But for me, there's no score sheet that we tally up in helped and got help columns.

While cruising, you don't change who you are. If you're a person that helps out before cruising, you'll still be a person that helps out while cruising. It will just take different forms. It can be as simple as catching a line for somebody that needs a hand, or helping to re-sew a fishing net so someone can earn their living. Who we help, and how we help, are only limited by our abilities and the willingness to exercise those abilities. But every good deed we do, no matter how large or small, is still a good deed done.


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## davidpm (Oct 22, 2007)

So this thread has exposed at least three issues that should be considered as part of the cruising lifestyle equation.

Does the lifestyle:
1. Supply enough chances to fulfill the normal need to feel productive or useful and not just a permanent visitor.
2. Supply enough chances for friendship and other human company
3. Supply enough variety to not be boring.

Each person will of course answer the question in their own way and the choice of cruising schedule and participation in local activities will vary.
Each to their own.
Probably worth thinking about however.

And of course if they are really lucky the boat will break often enough to keep them busy.


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

davidpm said:


> So this thread has exposed at least three issues that should be considered as part of the cruising lifestyle equation.
> 
> Does the lifestyle:
> 1. Supply enough chances to fulfill the normal need to feel productive or useful and not just a permanent visitor.
> ...


So in short David .... yes but, yes but, yes but.

In long ....

I fear there is a certain amount of trying to impose a 'normal' lifestyle headspace onto the cruising life. Which life it must be allowed can be so much different today than it was fifty years ago. Back then 'going cruising' meant getting away from it all on a permanent or at least semi permanent basis. People then either took off forever or at least for a number of years. The forevers found the life to their liking and never looked back, others eventually tired of perpetual paradise and went back to work.

Today we have the luxury of being able to pick and choose. If I want I can take off and not come back, or I can do a leg then fly home for a few months before heading out again, or for that matter have a boat here and fly anywhere in the world for a few weeks charter. In any of those situations I can in all probablity get in touch with the rest of the world whenever I wish. Books, music, movies are all available at the boot of a hard drive. The days of relying on Poste Restante are long gone.

ergo ....

I really do not need to feel I am being productive anymore. That particular T-Shirt is so old its fraying at the edges.

Friendships come, friendships go, some remain, some become nothing more than sweet memories. Human companionship simply for the sake of human companionship is in my book overated.

Whats boring to one man is bliss to another.

Cheers

Andrew


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

Don't overthink the whole thing. I only had one question before I did this. Can I afford it. All the other stuff will take care of it's self.


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## zeehag (Nov 16, 2008)

as far as i have ever seen cruising lifestyle includes a lot of helping  and giving of self and abilties to others -- why should it be questioned as something one thinks of doing as opposed to just doing? isnt a big deal. cruising is actually not a selfish endeavor.


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## PBzeer (Nov 11, 2002)

The reason I dislike terms like "give back", is because they create a sense of obligation based on one's success in life. Helping others isn't a debt you take on by being successful, it's a moral obligation you're born with. If help is needed, and you are able to help, you help because it's the right thing to do. Where ever, how ever. It's no more complicated than that.


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## Sailormon6 (May 9, 2002)

Giving back isn't something you do after you retire. If you do it every day, throughout your life, you don't need to apologize for enjoying the lifestyle that you earned.


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## zeehag (Nov 16, 2008)

giving back can even be as easy as shopping the local tiendas for veggies and meats and other sundries--instead of always heading to mega or costco or other large corporate warehouse. 

try it.


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## MikeinLA (Jul 25, 2006)

I guess what I don't understand is the sudden sense of urgency toward "giving back" following retirement. I would think that this is simply how you roll or it's not. And if you are naturally a helpful/charitable person, I would imagine that those opportunities will come up on a daily basis while in port somewhere. 

As far as the somewhat sanctimonious aspects of "giving back", I think that's all a load of [email protected] If you're retiring from a productive life, you've already given plenty already. Time to relax.

Mike


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## ebs001 (May 8, 2006)

I think right from the beginning this thread has gotten off track by discussing "giving back". The real question is will sunset after sunset be enough to fulfill ones day when cruising. If not what are you going to do. It's really part of the bigger question what are you going to do when you retire. Most people I ask that question say "I'm not going to do anything I'll be retired" I usually tell them no you'll be dead. When someone answers I am going to go cruising I think the question is equally valid. What are you going to do with your time? Cruising does not take up all ones time and one soon tire's of sitting on the beach all day everyday. There is a lot of down time. For those who plan to cruise how do you plan to occupy your down time? For those who are presently cruising what do you do with your down time? As an example some people volunteer their time in some capacity "giving back". Some people spend all day on sailnet forums. Some people paint or write. So how do you handle or plan to handle your down time?


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## aeventyr60 (Jun 29, 2011)

Seems like we are busy enough every day maintaining the boat, jugging water, swimming, snorkeling, bike riding, hiking, shopping in local markets,sailing, reading, watching movies, attending cultural events, contemplating our navels, having sex, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, getting together with friends, beach BBQ's, dinghying around the wonderful anchorages, passage planning, navigating, stargazing, taking naps, reading books, trading books, down loading movies and books, fishing,dining out, searching for boat parts, checking in and out with customs, port captain and immigration, beach combing, looking at the weather fax, tuning into SSB nets, dodging fish nets, float and boats.....

Geez, how did we ever manage a job?

If you guys did not like the concept of "giving back", how do you feel about "paying it forward'?


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## norsearayder (Dec 19, 2006)

i have spent on my last position over 32 years working in the public sector,helping my fellow man,now upon retirement its my time and iam very busy,projects crop up everywhere just on a more relaxed pace! peace


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## bvander66 (Sep 30, 2007)

We have been cruising for three years, so thats a few more sunsets (and sunrises) over a hunderd and it still hasnt gotten old. Everyone is different and unique and most are spectacular.
We "give back" by bringing over textbooks and school supplies which we donate to small schools. As well we volunteer time at various schools in the Bahamas. Add to that the conveyer belt of boat projects and you end with some really full days.


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