# The goofy questions non-sailors ask



## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

So we're on our way to Aruba for Carnaval, for a 2-week vacation. I can't believe the number of people who ask us if we're taking the boat! So we have to explain that it would take 2 weeks just to get there, and it's winter, etc etc. I know we so take for granted some sailing basics, some of the questions are just funny! Like the woman who asked me why we had to stand watches through the night on a passage, why couldnt we just drop the anchor and sleep? (uh, in the middle of the Atlantic? It's _how _deep?) Or undine's story of the person who was amazed that their boat had "a little house with a kitchen and a bathroom"

What goofy questions have you been asked?


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## sab30 (Oct 11, 2006)

After purchasing our first sailboat (36ft) to leave on Vancouver Island some people asked if we could sail it back and forth from our home... (which is in the Okanagan 200 miles inland) Aside from the 200 miles of land, lack of connecting river systems and a rather large mountain range...no. 

Motoring up a mountain river system on a 36ft sailboat...that would be something...the ride down the other side would be exciting..


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## sailaway21 (Sep 4, 2006)

I thought this thread might be a compilation of questions posed by CruisingDad.


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## erps (Aug 2, 2006)

On our first sail up to Princess Louisa Inlet, we were standing on the dock admiring the glacier fed waterfalls on the mountain cliffs all around us when my wife asked "so, how high are we anyway?" In her defense, it did feel like we were up in the mountains.


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## bljones (Oct 13, 2008)

When we bought our boat, I excitedly regaled coworkers with the stats, length, draft, displacement, beam... and one gentleman piped up, "Don't you mean 8 meter beam, not 8 feet?" I explained that this was a short little monohull, not a big catamaran. He looked puzzled, then his eyes lit up as he figured it out. "Ah, gotcha, because they have two hulls, catamarans need to have taller beams." I then had to explain that a mast is a spar but not a beam...


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## bljones (Oct 13, 2008)

Oh, and self-tailing winches... this is almost like a blonde joke- I explained that if I had the cheddar, I'd like to install self-tailing winches to make single-handing a little easier, and one dirt-dwelling individual exclaimed, "No way! They make winches that automatically follow you around the boat to wherever you need them?"


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## imagine2frolic (Aug 7, 2008)

When I was going to sail from S.F. Ca. to Mexico. I took a couple for one last sail on the bay before I left. Now this guy was 40 +or-. He set up booths for trade shows. This is an example of how people don't think. He asked what I was going to do for electricity, because he watched me pull the shorepower. I told I had a roll of wire on the boat I would let out as I sailed along attatched to the dock. His reply was, OH? He did not give it another thought until I started laughing....i2f


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

When we first told the Admirals sister & husband we were going to livaboard and go cruising, his response was: "You can't do that! You'll be together all the time". Her response was: "Maybe they LIKE to be together!" I don't think he meant it quite like that but it was VERY funny.


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## danjarch (Jun 18, 2007)

My favorite, when doing day sails in the keys. How many sunset sails do you do a day?


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

We once had invited friends of our out for a Sunset sail. We were out sailing, I was in the cockpit with our friends and my wife was down below making dinner. She said Dinner is ready and one by one she passed plates up and joined us in the cockpit. After a great meal our friends wife tells my wife to enjoy herself, that she will do the dishes and clean up down below.

After my Friends wifes gets finished in the galley she joins in the cockpit. we are enjoying the sail and the setting sun! I have to use the head and go below to see all of the table scraps in the bowl!!!! I stick my head out of the companionway and ask who the Hell put the table scraps in the toilet bowl? My friends wife speaks up and says " You told us that nothing belongs in the toilet that can't be eaten." I said Jill; I said "nothing goes in the toilet bowl that HASN'T been eaten."


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## imagine2frolic (Aug 7, 2008)

bubb2,
*PRICELESS!:laugher *


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## scottyt (Jul 19, 2008)

i actually got asked if i could have sex on board.
i have lots of people when i go to the local party area and tie up go " looks its like a little house inside"


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

scottyt said:


> i actually got asked if i could have sex on board.


with the questioner? right then and there? while other guests watch? WOW! you da man!


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## scottyt (Jul 19, 2008)

xort said:


> with the questioner? right then and there? while other guests watch? WOW! you da man!


no, not that. as in was it possible
xort<-- :batter --->scott


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

LOL... scott... your wording was a bit ambiguous...and Xort is easily confused with a mind that tends to end up in the gutter.


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## Omatako (Sep 14, 2003)

When I told someone that it took me five weeks to single-hand from point A to point B, they asked, incredulously, "On your OWN?!?!? How do you stay awake that long?"


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Lots of amphetamines and caffeine. 


Omatako said:


> When I told someone that it took me five weeks to single-hand from point A to point B, they asked, incredulously, "On your OWN?!?!? How do you stay awake that long?"


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## Keldee (Jun 23, 2008)

While tied up to a wall at a parkin Buffalo NY we were asked if we saw many dead bodies


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## eryka (Mar 16, 2006)

You guys are amazing! I'm sitting in the Miami airport between flights and I checked this thread ... ROFLMAO!


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## craigtoo (Aug 17, 2007)

The most commonly asked question I get.. is.. "So how fast does it go?"

Number 2...

"It has a motor? If it has a motor, why do you need sails?"


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## nk235 (Apr 8, 2007)

I always love when people see a picture of a large sailboat with a dingy outboard motor hanging on a rail or somewhere else and they always ask if that is what you use when you can't sail


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## josrulz (Oct 15, 2006)

eryka said:


> So we're on our way to Aruba for Carnaval, for a 2-week vacation. I can't believe the number of people who ask us if we're taking the boat! So we have to explain that it would take 2 weeks just to get there, and it's winter, etc etc. I know we so take for granted some sailing basics, some of the questions are just funny! Like the woman who asked me why we had to stand watches through the night on a passage, why couldnt we just drop the anchor and sleep? (uh, in the middle of the Atlantic? It's _how _deep?) Or undine's story of the person who was amazed that their boat had "a little house with a kitchen and a bathroom"
> 
> What goofy questions have you been asked?


Have fun down south!  I was just recently asked that same question, when talking with a friend who lives over 1000 miles from the ocean. I was telling her about our upcoming delivery which will involve a 3 days coastal passage offshore. She was like, "how come you can't just stop for the night with your anchor?" In her defense, how would she know the answer to that question if it's completely out of her experience? But I can't help it--I still think it's hysterical. 
-J


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## craigtoo (Aug 17, 2007)

OK.. Dammit.. I'm still waiting for the answer! 

Why can't you just anchor out!?


    :laugher :laugher :laugher


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## scottyt (Jul 19, 2008)

craigtoo said:


> OK.. Dammit.. I'm still waiting for the answer!
> 
> Why can't you just anchor out!?
> 
> :laugher :laugher :laugher


you can with lots of chain and line, better get a real good windlass too

thats when you bring up a sea anchor, just tell em its a chute for water and laugh at the confusion


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## jaschrumpf (Jun 22, 2002)

sailingdog said:


> Lots of amphetamines and caffeine.


That's when he shoulda broken into Little Feat's "Willin'":

"Just give me weeeeed, whites and wine!"


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## Boasun (Feb 10, 2007)

Have been asked a couple of times: There are no road signs out there, so how do you keep from getting lost??


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

Omatako said:


> When I told someone that it took me five weeks to single-hand from point A to point B, they asked, incredulously, "On your OWN?!?!? How do you stay awake that long?"


A guest on a neighbour's boat saw me docking delicately in my 33 footer and as I was tying up commented on how my boat seemed large to handle by myself. I said "not really, as the boat is only mid-sized and I was told early on by experienced sailors that if you're going to make mistakes as a single-hander, do them in a bigger boat."

She didn't say anything for a few seconds, and I continued to cleat off the docklines. As I stood up, she said "Well, I think you're very brave, and that is the best prosthesis I have ever seen."
:laugher :laugher :laugher


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## ADMTROX (Apr 5, 2008)

The boyfriend of my Niece asked if there were sharks in the great lakes. He was serious.


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## Boasun (Feb 10, 2007)

ADMTROX said:


> The boyfriend of my Niece asked if there were sharks in the great lakes. He was serious.


Of course there are sharks. They snuck up the St Lawrence seaway without the proper papers. Yup! Right pass immigration officals.


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## STTnBama (Jan 20, 2009)

I had a guest on charter in St Thomas ask where she could buy some clear bottles. I asked what she needed clear bottles for and she replied "So I can take home all the different colors of water." It was all I could do to keep from laughing.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Food coloring can work wonders for that... 



STTnBama said:


> I had a guest on charter in St Thomas ask where she could buy some clear bottles. I asked what she needed clear bottles for and she replied "So I can take home all the different colors of water." It was all I could do to keep from laughing.


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## labatt (Jul 31, 2006)

"All four of you live on THAT?"


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## mrwuffles (Sep 9, 2008)

STTnBama said:


> I had a guest on charter in St Thomas ask where she could buy some clear bottles. I asked what she needed clear bottles for and she replied "So I can take home all the different colors of water." It was all I could do to keep from laughing.


We were on a cruise and the captain told us he had a lady doing that also....makes you wonder.


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## North253 (Feb 18, 2009)

When I was just introducing my girlfriend to sailing/boating she asked me why i didn't like wood boats as opposed to fiberglass. she replied "well doesn't wood float better?"


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## astraeus (Jan 30, 2006)

I sail an inland lake in Arizona, and I was recently asked how long it would take to sail to California.


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## dcarey (Jul 21, 2007)

astraeus... they must have been related to my brother's girl friend. When I lived in Tennessee and sailed on a lake (thanks to the TVA), she actually asked me if I got to sail on the ocean much. And she was serious.


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## EO32 (Jan 7, 2008)

I was whale watching in the San Juans a couple of years ago on a whale watching boat and overheard a *school teacher* ask the captain how they keep track of the islands floating around.


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## wfcreadon (Oct 28, 2004)

*Best questions of nonsailors*

After a great day of sailing we were anchored out for the night. Our guest was sitting in the coockpit an asked? Who determines which way all of the boats are anchored? My simple answer with a grin....."God".


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

Craig hit on mine, "How fast does it go?"
I say around 6 knots (or around 7 miles per hour) is pretty typical, but we can go much faster. (lets face it, they have no clue how much a knot is unless its given in MPH)

I also sail back and forth to my previous harbor a couple of times a year, its 85NM's each way. I than get asked "How long does that take?" When my reply is anywhere from 14-18 hours they are amazed. Lets see at 6knots it would take over 14 hours, thats on the fast side of the scale. Than they say, "Its 85 miles, I can drive that in less than 1-1/2 hours." ................... And your point is?


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## mccary (Feb 24, 2002)

*An office friend told me this*

Several years ago, a friend in the office who knew I sailed came to me and told me she was going sailing over the weekend. I told her how happy I was and hoped she enjoyed it.

On the following Monday morning I saw her and asked how the sailing went. Her reply was that it was GREAT. She said the stopped and cooked out in the afternoon and then sailed on. At about sunset they were coming in and they ran aground. Remembering this was the Chesapeake Bay known for it's thin water and soft mud bottom I asked, "And...?" She said, "Well, I guess you know what that means, you have to spend the night!"


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