# How many women here own their own boat?



## JulieMor

When we were at the boat show I asked Pam Wall this kind of question. She said very few. She's very pro-women sailing and has helped many with buying and servicing their boats. But she told us few are the primary owners.

I was just wondering how many women here are the primary owners of their boat?

BTW, I'm not yet but I'm looking.


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## PBzeer

I've met about 15 women who owned their boats in my travels since 2006.


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## jameswilson29

Since the vast majority of boats in the U.S. are titled in the individual states, and not documented by the USCG, you would have to analyze the title records of all 50 states to determine the answer to your question. I doubt an analysis of documented vessels would necessarily reflect the same percentage of ownership, since they are generally larger, more expensive vessels.


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## Tim R.

Not here but we have two single women at our marina who are full time live aboards on their own boats.


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## Melrna

I do..


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## zeehag

i own 2 boats, both documented. i am cruising the larger of the 2.
there are more boats owned by females than one would imagine.


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## wingNwing

I just scanned my email address book for fulltime liveaboards and found that about 2/3 are couples, the remaining 1/3 are singlehanders split about evenly between women and men. So, my totally unscientific sample says 15% are women singlehanders on big enough boats to live aboard.

Their stories are as varied as they are: one is a snowbird who moves from Annapolis to Florida with the seasons; one started the Great Loop solo, fell in love with Georgian Bay and now keeps her boat there (bought a house in Florida for winters); one has two boats(!) a dock queen near her job in downtown DC where she stays during the week, and a sailboat here in Annapolis where she plays on weekends - her idea of vacation is to fly to some exotic location like Australia or the Med and charter a bareboat; one has lived aboard many years and done some cruising, she's getting ready to head to the Carib when she retires next year; two are dock queens looking for cheap rent though they talk of cruising someday I don't see them developing the skills to make it happen; one just moved ashore due to cancer. I'm in another online group of women sailors that boasts over 250 members. So perhaps not quite as small a group as you were led to believe!

Of the couples, I know of two for sure where the woman was the primary impetus for getting the boat and is the more knowledgeable of the two. But that doesn't mean that the woman is the lead in *only* two, most of the other couples, I simply don't know the dynamic. Again, anecdotal data and likely skewed as we tend to associate with couples that are fairly egalitarian; if one partner were totally subservient to the other they probably wouldn't be in my address book.


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## Donna_F

I do. On my second now, working on #3.

In my Catalina club there are at least three who started out singlehanding their C30s before they became attached.


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## smallboatlover

donna aren't you married? that doens't count


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## Capt Len

While I was scrounging ballast for Thane 39 years ago I found myself in competition with a woman building her 38 ft ferro sailboat. She went on to complete the vessel and cruise the coast and live aboard for many years . Too bad there is not more of this caliber of people on the waterfront. Even the men seem to have become fru fru or hand wringers.


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## chef2sail

If the definition is that because I am married our boat is considered community property and in any type of divorce settlement therefore it is considered split ownership, no one who is married is the primary owner of their boat.

If you bought the boat before you were married you may have somehwat of a case but not after 7 years of marrige in MD.

If there is someother definition I guess my wife owns our boat. Just as I do.

I think the answer for this question is for sole ownership.....therefore you arent married.

Dave

Dave


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## Minnewaska

Primary owner and settlement in a divorce are two different things. If your spouse is not on the title, they are not an owner. They may be entitled to something else equivalent to half its value, if you stop getting along.


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## jameswilson29

This is true in Virginia, too. A spouse's potential equitable distribution rights in all marital property does not create specific title rights.


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## skygazer

Drifting off topic into meaningless waters. My wife owns all kinds of stuff that is clearly hers and not mine. 

Are you arguing that I own 50% of her bras? You are "all wet"! 

My mother has passed on, but she without a doubt owned the sailboats in my family. She grew up on sailboats and loved them to the end. My dad supported her in every way. He was more of a fisherman than a sailor. My mom was really in charge when we were sailing. When we were out of sight of land or in fog, I had total confidence in her ability. Wish I could do it all again and pay attention to what she was trying to teach me.

"Primary ownership" (OP) is not the same as "sole ownership". Interesting that the word "ship" is in the word ownership!


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## chucklesR

Julie, 
Perhaps you could re-phrase the question;
How many women are single and own their boat, or
(not getting into the gay/partner discussion)
How many women are the sole owner of their boat regardless of partnership status etc..

I do not consider our sailboat MINE, the title says Chuck and Mary, not Chuck or Mary. The only thing I own on the boat is my assigned maintenance. When I say Mary is the Admiral I mean it in the classical sense, She tells me where to go and I help her get it there.


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## chef2sail

Chuckles...I like how you put it...I agree. 

Lets ask the OP to clarify. Julie what were you asking when you said " how many women own their own boat?"


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## svHyLyte

JulieMor said:


> When we were at the boat show I asked Pam Wall this kind of question. She said very few. She's very pro-women sailing and has helped many with buying and servicing their boats. But she told us few are the primary owners.
> 
> I was just wondering how many women here are the primary owners of their boat?
> 
> BTW, I'm not yet but I'm looking.


While I am married, "our" boat is clearly my wife's. We had another boat that was "mine" at the time we married but she didn't care for it all that much. (It didn't have two heads for starters, and when a woman's gotta go, she's gotta go NOW!) So, in a moment of weakness after one too many glasses of wine, I consented that if she could find a certain boat, she could buy it, assuming of course that she could not. She did, and did. I know the boat is hers as once it was relocated to Florida, she asked me when I could get "my" boat out of "our" slip so she could "park her boat" at "our" club. Needing 3 boats like a hole in the head, I finally sold my boat (we still have "her boat" and a little 12' sailing dinghy that my daughter informs me is "her boat"). When one of our lady slip neighbor's asked her how she could sit in the cockpit and read while I was working on the brightwork she responded "I'm management, he's labor". So it must be her boat, no?


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## deniseO30

My boat is owned by all 3 of me! "me, myself, and I"


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## lillia28

Like cats, I always thought boats owned you.
For years may wife called it 'Your" boat,with a distinctly disapproving tone. I was overjoyed when she began referring to the new boat as "our" boat. When she began to complain about how dirty I left her galley, well I can die happy!

Lou


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## Faster

Our dock neighbour owns her own C&C Northeast 39, she did the Pacific circuit several years ago, and now continues to cruise the boat, usually with pickup crew so she's often virtually singlehanding.

She was also the first female graduate from the Royal Military College in Ontario. Quite the gal....


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## skygazer

Glad to see this thread back on track, and full of delightful humor!


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## JulieMor

chef2sail said:


> Chuckles...I like how you put it...I agree.
> 
> Lets ask the OP to clarify. Julie what were you asking when you said " how many women own their own boat?"


However one interprets the question is unimportant to me. Everyone has their own interpretation of ownership. And whatever that is, that's what matters most. If there are women here who feel they own their own boat, then they do.


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## Jeff_Mac22

It would seem to me that asking this type of question is just another way to divide the genders and is irrelevant. It does not matter if a sailor owns a boat or rents a boat the fact that he or she is a sailor is good enough for me. In our state we have a community property law that says if it is only in HER name if she is married to a man then he still owns half of it. Same thing if it is only in his name she still owns half of it.


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## Donna_F

Jeff_Mac22 said:


> It would seem to me that asking this type of question is just another way to divide the genders and is irrelevant. ...


By that argument, the entire herSailnet area is irrelevant and divisive.

I don't think the OP posted (in an area where she probably expected only women to respond) with the intention of dividing anyone. I may be wrong, but I suspect it was natural curiosity. The same as when some months back someone asked why more minorities aren't sailing or someone else asked what happened to the young people.

I think perhaps more is being read into the original question than was intended.


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## Spirit of Freedom

I own my boat and single-handed for years. My husband now sails with me...he was a non-sailor when we met and it took nearly 15 years to get him to start cruising with me. For a long time he preferred to fly in to meet me. I have met lots of women over the years, especially here in the PNW who own their own boats.


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## emoney

I've put boats in my wife's name when she didn't even realize it. I'd think the "legaleeze" is not the relevant point.


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## Jeff_Mac22

Great point, think SAIL not gender politics, not race politics, not gender preference politics, not legal politics, let’s just all sail and remember we all have that certain something in common that gives us that love for the water lapping up against the hull, gentle breezes and of the canvas working it miracles. 

Jeff Puckett

Tag Line: There is nothing like lying flat on your back on the deck, 
alone, silence except for the lapping of the sea against the side of the ship... 
- Errol Flynn


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## Minnewaska

DRFerron said:


> By that argument, the entire herSailnet area is irrelevant and divisive.
> 
> I don't think the OP posted (in an area where she probably expected only women to respond)


A forum that does not expect a group to participate (men), is divisive. By definition.


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## JulieMor

Minnewaska said:


> A forum that does not expect a group to participate (men), is divisive. By definition.


Not at all. Look at all the sections here, especially the ones with all the different makes. You wouldn't expect someone who has only owned and sailed Tartans to give their opinion on Island Packets, would you? That they do is fine but I would expect the Island Packet people wouldn't take what they have to say to heart.

When it comes to men and women, we're very different with very different life experiences. If I want to speak to the women, I come to herSailnet. Isn't that why it was created? But by no means is it being divisive if I expect women to answer or that I would be most interested in what the women have to say.


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## Jeff_Mac22

Being a “different” type of person all my life, I always considered myself and opinions to be welcome in both men’s and women’s groups so I never bother to look at the restrictions. But this experience has once again hurt, just a little. Curious though, does your reply that mean you go to “hisSailnet” when you only want to talk to men sailors? Is there an "alternative lifestyle sailnet"? I guess I would be restricted to that one. You know, the one that you are respected for who you are not what “defects” you happened to be born with. But really, I just want to sail, I want to learn from others so I do not have to make every sailing mistake myself and frankly I just do not care what the gender is of those I can learn from. Mostly I like to be in the company of people who like to sail. I feel we ALL have very different life experiences and it is those differences that make us stronger as a group. But apparently there are still people in the world that want to divide us, and yes, I suppose I did not read the sign that said “no men allowed”, I apologize. Did not even see the label HerSailnet. I always thought I was welcome in both groups, but I keep getting hammered by those who think I should not be allowed in either group. Yes, I suppose I should be more careful and not post in a group that hates those who offer a different life experience. Again my apologies...

Quote Juliemor: "When it comes to men and women, we're very different with very different life experiences. If I want to speak to the women, I come to herSailnet. Isn't that why it was created?"


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## Minnewaska

JulieMor said:


> Not at all. Look at all the sections here, especially the ones with all the different makes. You wouldn't expect someone who has only owned and sailed Tartans to give their opinion on Island Packets, would you? That they do is fine but I would expect the Island Packet people wouldn't take what they have to say to heart.
> 
> When it comes to men and women, we're very different with very different life experiences. If I want to speak to the women, I come to herSailnet. Isn't that why it was created? But by no means is it being divisive if I expect women to answer or that I would be most interested in what the women have to say.


Okay. Your good with SN creating a hisSailnet to exclude your gender's participation? If so, I get your point.

Edit: to be clear, I would prefer neither.


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## Spirit of Freedom

Goodness! I didn't realize men were so sensitive and worried about being left out of women's conversations!! Female skippers/owners ARE a rarity...and we get treated different in the "real world" then male skippers/owners do. I can personally attest to it!! Sometimes a girl just wants to talk to other girls... I don't get offended when guys want to hang out with guys and do "guy talk"... I am new to SailNet, and was very pleased to discover herSailNet as I am usually the only women in the group! 

Men and women DO look at the world, including sailing, very differently. And, as a former sailing instructor I know that they learn very differently---having taught women, men and couples. Hence the great idea of a mini-forum for women in an obviously male dominated sport/lifestyle. 

But hey! If you want to discuss the best way to shave your legs on a boat without clogging up the sump pump, go ahead and jump in! Or, how to manage single-hand cruising when you lack height and upper body strength. Or how about how to approach mechanics, riggers, repair shops etc. that pre-suppose because you are a woman you don't really know much. How about a discussion of how to handle the men on the dock that watch you come in alone, make a perfect landing, and then have the nerve to ask you if your husband knows you have the boat out alone? (Seriously, that happened to me!) So jump on in, expose your feminine side and share! It's all good!


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## ccriders

I opened this thread because the question was interesting to me and because it was in the new posts and I did not notice that it was in the hersailnet forum. 
Julie's point that she wanted to talk to women is totally understandable but she now realizes that all the forums on sailnet are open to all members and their input should be taken as it is offered and intended.
I once made a big stink at church when a young woman wanted to start a women's group. In that conversation I learned once again that both men and women need "same sex" associations for a miriad of reasons, some well put by Spirit of Freedom.
Women are making great strides in our society towards equality with men in daily life. But if you went to school before Title X, you probably did not experience that change and your learning curve might be a little longer than today's young crowd. 
Whatever, I just wish my wife would go out and get that 35 footer and ask me to help her take delivery.


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## c_witch

Hiee all,

Well I own my own boat. I bought a fixer upper 3 years ago and spent 2 years getting her ready for the water once again. I spent this year getting a bit of a feel for her and trying to regain some of my prior experience, as I have not sailed in many decades. This boat was purchased as a stepping stone to regain experience/confidence. I wanted to learn how to do repairs and hence the fixer upper. In four years time I hope to move up to a 35 foot boat and head for the caribbean during the winter and spend the summers here in Canada.

c_witch


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## JulieMor

I did not mean to hurt anyone by my comment, and I'm sorry if I did. Maybe I didn't explain myself well.

It's hard to argue that the vast majority of posts here are made by men. Not all women are completely comfortable in an all or mostly male environment. I think that's why herSailnet was created. So women could feel welcome here. (Admins: correct me if I'm wrong.) Creating a hisSailnet would be kinda silly because every section here is dominated by men. And I have no problem with that and never did.

If this was a forum about hair, nails, and makeup (we'll call it HairNet :laugher), I would be perfectly okay with a section created just for men, so that they knew they too were welcome to participate. I see nothing divisive about that.

The existence of gender identified sections does not mean the exclusion of the other gender. It only means that one can go to that section and expect participation _primarily_ by the gender identified in the section's title.

That this thread turned into alluding to the herSailnet section is, by it's very existence, divisive really surprises me. I never saw that coming. All I wanted to know was how many women here own their own boat.


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## Donna_F

JulieMor said:


> ...
> That this thread turned into alluding to the herSailnet section is, by it's very existence, divisive really surprises me. I never saw that coming. ...


Almost every message thread in herSailnet gets at least one post from men wondering why it exists. That's normal.


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## Jeff_Mac22

It is just so sad that women do not feel like they can communicate in an open and level area. And it is true that not all men are comfortable with women talking at all. But we try to change that every day. I just wish people would treat all others with respect and kindness regardless of gender. It is so hard for some people to understand, yes, in the 21st century women are captains and men can be passengers without shame and those with alternative lifestyles can think as well. Some states do prohibit discrimination based on gender identity but not all. BUT not all. For example During the 2012 Idaho legislative session, they introduced a bill that would revise the Idaho Human Rights Act to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. In a scene reminiscent of a 1950’s anti-comunist event, and in spite of an emotional plea from Sen. Malepeai, it only took the committee five minutes to vote to reject even the printing of the bill and rejected allowing a public viewing or public comment or a public vote on the bill. Those for gender rights were silenced in just five minutes. Exclusion is just wrong for man or woman or others time to grow up people...


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## ccriders

Yeah, and remember, we failed to pass the equal rights amendment. Which only indicates the depth of men's paranoia.


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## Jeff_Mac22

You are so correct. Yep, so sad. Even women voted against it... Does anybody know why we do nto pass it now?


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## skygazer

I can think of an excellent reason to bar men. Too many here on sailnet come onto a thread, misread what is plainly written, and start endlessly arguing about some irrelevant trivia that takes the thread way off track. All they care about is their argument. It interferes with people communicating and lowers the tone and value of sailnet.

Pages here of arguing about what "sole ownership" - not written anywhere - or some such means, and asking for a clarification of the original question. Hey boys, if you are so smart, how about reading the first post, written in plain black and white English, where you will find the question amplified into:

"I was just wondering how many women here are the *primary* owners of their boat?"

Is that really so difficult to understand? What's to argue about? Divisiveness.... , good grief!

And thank you to those who wrote pleasant and funny things about lives, wives, daughters, etc., and who did not add to the argument. You are what makes sailnet great.


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## JulieMor

DRFerron said:


> Almost every message thread in herSailnet gets at least one post from men wondering why it exists. That's normal.


Maybe not normal but certainly sad.

So...... Let's end the hijack...

How many women here own their own boat?


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## TheTardis

I do... And I'm in the process of becoming a liveaboard.


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## SloopJonB

smallboatlover said:


> donna aren't you married? that doens't count


She said once that she does the hunting and the buying - hubbie only cuts the cheques - that counts in my book.


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## SloopJonB

chef2sail said:


> If the definition is that because I am married our boat is considered community property and in any type of divorce settlement therefore it is considered split ownership, no one who is married is the primary owner of their boat.
> 
> If you bought the boat before you were married you may have somehwat of a case but not after 7 years of marrige in MD.
> 
> If there is someother definition I guess my wife owns our boat. Just as I do.
> 
> I think the answer for this question is for sole ownership.....therefore you arent married. Dave


The one who changes the oil, paints the bottom and goes up the mast is the owner for the purpose of this discussion - legalities bedamned.


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## SloopJonB

Faster said:


> Our dock neighbour owns her own C&C Northeast 39, she did the Pacific circuit several years ago, and now continues to cruise the boat, usually with pickup crew so she's often virtually singlehanding.
> 
> She was also the first female graduate from the Royal Military College in Ontario. Quite the gal....


My last doctor used to own that boat until his wife made him sell it and downsize to a C&C 29. He joined the Navy shortly thereafter. (really!)


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## SloopJonB

I just want to ask where these boat owning women were when I was single?


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## zeehag

i have 4 female cousins with their own boats--oops--one was left under water in sandy-- she counts , tho, as she still has one, is just broken...


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## benjiwoodboat

I met my lovely wife because she was looking to buy a boat and inquired about the boat I was selling. I had never before met a woman who wanted to own her own boat...so I didn't let her go. She didn't buy mine, but she did buy a Nor'sea 27 and we sailed in convoy on two separate boats for a few years. Now we will own a shared boat but we are aware of the keeping it shared equally!
Ben
P.S. She keeps a blog at sailingsimplicity.com


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## skygazer

benjiwoodboat said:


> I met my lovely wife because she was looking to buy a boat and inquired about the boat I was selling. I had never before met a woman who wanted to own her own boat...so I didn't let her go.


Smart move!! Congratulations on your marriage.


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## nodders

on our dock with about 80 boats, at least three of them are owned by single women; all extremely avid and accomplished sailors....


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## Barquito

Start Thread Drift:

I tend not to view this area of SN very often. However, I think the reason some men are interested in this thread is that we hope that sailing isn't as exlusionary as it appears. I sincerely hope that there are sailors from both genders, all races, sexual orientations, economic resources, political opinions... well scratch that last one until tomorrow.:laugher

End Thread Drift:


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## MysticWind

I own two at the moment, had two foot itis and just bought one a little larger and need to sell the 23 footer. Ben sailing solo for about 7 years and love it.


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## ShipShape

JulieMor said:


> All I wanted to know was how many women here own their own boat.


I do. 



lillia28 said:


> Like cats, I always thought boats owned you.


Correction, I am owned by a boat. 



chef2sail said:


> I think the answer for this question is for sole ownership.....therefore you arent married.


My last husband often said I was married to my boat. Before we married (the husband, not the boat) I told him that if he ever made me choose between him and my boat that I would always choose my boat. Either he thought I was kidding, or there is more proof that men don't listen to women. 



Spirit of Freedom said:


> Goodness! I didn't realize men were so sensitive


Men have feelings too, for example, sometimes they feel hungry. :laugher

.


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## zeehag

i still own 2 boats and a gato ....lol.....yes i own THEM......


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## Donna_F

zeehag said:


> i still own 2 boats and a gato ....lol.....yes i own THEM......


You forgot your dinghy fleet.


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## zeehag

BUSTED!!!!

yeah..my fleet of 2 kayaks, one walker bay, and one redcrest antique i will be fixing --floorboards first, then reinforcing of hypalon floor, then oars...lol ... tough life,mon...but someone has to do it.....i dont mind filling in for a while--is fun out here...


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## Me and Boo

I own my own boat. Single hand her and prefer men stay away from her.


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## SloopJonB

Me and Boo said:


> I own my own boat. Single hand her and prefer men stay away from her.


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## TheTardis

Hi all, just wanted to give an update. As of yesterday, I am now the proud owner of a 1978 Pearson 30. Great boat and I'm excited to start working on her and making her shine!


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## Donna_F

TheTardis said:


> Hi all, just wanted to give an update. As of yesterday, I am now the proud owner of a 1978 Pearson 30. Great boat and I'm excited to start working on her and making her shine!


Congratulations!


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## zeehag

TheTardis said:


> Hi all, just wanted to give an update. As of yesterday, I am now the proud owner of a 1978 Pearson 30. Great boat and I'm excited to start working on her and making her shine!


those actually sail nice--dont just shine her up--USE her...you will be sooo happy!:worthless:

ps--before ye flame me---my boat pic is in my signature.....


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## sony2000

Widower sailor looking for single woman wilth her own boat. Peferrably far enough south to sail the boat in the winter months. Cabin not required. lol


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## TheTardis

zeehag said:


> those actually sail nice--dont just shine her up--USE her...you will be sooo happy!:worthless:
> 
> ps--before ye flame me---my boat pic is in my signature.....


Preach it sister! I'll post some pics when I head down to clean tomorrow. I'm beyond excited to have her. Guess I'll have to find a home for my old boat


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## TheTardis

I couldn't figure out how to post pics from my phone so I just put it in my signature


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## zeehag

cute boat--you will have fun sailing her...


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## TheTardis

Thanks!


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## chef2sail

+1


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## sparrow16

Just found this thread. I'd like to have myself counted as owning my own boat. It is a Sparrow 16, micro-cruiser. It is a pretty modest little boat but serves me well. I also think she is the cutest little boat on the water. 

Fair Winds Girls!

Christine


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## sailor wench

I've owned a total of 3 boats. I started sailing/learned to sail on a Chrysler 22. I started coastal cruising on a Chrysler 26. Then, I purchased the boat that I have now when I decided to become a liveaboard. The boat is titled to me and was purchased with my money. I've met lots of couples that own boats jointly and many men that own boats, but I've only met roughly 8 women that own their own boats while out on my own boat. It's definately the exception and not the rule. Whenever I'm alone on my boat and bring it in to get fuel or whatever, I get ALOT of looks and most times will get asked something like, "You sail that thing all by yourself!?", as if they are amazed by the fact that singlehanding can even be done by a female. The looks on their faces are quite priceless. I can't say I don't enjoy their reactions. I get alot of offers from guys to be my 1st mate! Ha! Ha!


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## Thistle Dew

I do. A Cal 2-27. She is mature but wears her age well.


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## bljones

Well done, ladies! keep on keeping on.


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## shadowraiths

How did I miss this thread? Yup, I own my own boat, which is also my home.


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## JulieMor

shadowraiths said:


> How did I miss this thread? Yup, I own my own boat, which is also my home.


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## Melrna

Trading on up here. My dream of cruising full-time is getting closer. Just signed a contract last Saturday for a new semi-custom Catalina 445. Hope to see her next week at the factory. Boat should be delivered by end of Aug to the broker. It will be a mad rush to get her ready for March 1st date of cutting the docklines. So much to do and so little time to do it in. We are very excited.


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## gamayun

I started sailing about 4 years ago, but grew up in and on the water. In late January 2013, I bought a Freedom 38. No partner. It needed a lot of work, some of which I did myself and other stuff I hired out. A couple of weeks ago, I motor-sailed it with 2 friends north from San Diego to San Francisco. At times, when I'm trying to think too many steps ahead, it can seem overwhelming -- almost terrifyingly paralyzing -- so I just don't let my mind go that way. The best parts though are the feelings of accomplishment and constant learning, and the love I have for this "new" boat that the broker had labeled as "deferred maintenance."

Carliane
s/v Kynntana


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## emcentar

Add me to the list! Just bought my first boat, a Pearson 28-2! I've been sailing about 5 years, but mostly out of the marina where I took my sailing classes, on their Flying Scots. 

Spent the 4th of July just sitting on her, having a beer, and wondering how I ever lived without a boat.

E.


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## MarkofSeaLife

Any girls that want to half own a boat mine is available. Ownership comes after long and fun relationship with a reasonably wonderful froot-loop.


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## shadowraiths

I should update this. I now own two boats. My main rig, and a walker bay sailing dink. Am thinking of naming the dinky dink "_Schrödinger's Kitten_." Have been having a blast sailing the latter, and learning lots, too.


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## shadowraiths

MarkofSeaLife said:


> Any girls that want to half own a boat mine is available. Ownership comes after long and fun relationship with a reasonably wonderful froot-loop.


Um... fyi and fwiw, the personal ads forum is ----------------------------------------------------> .that way.


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## bljones

MarkofSeaLife said:


> Any girls that want to half own a boat mine is available. Ownership comes after long and fun relationship with a reasonably wonderful froot-loop.


or after the froot-loop's meds wear off and she contacts a lawyer.


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## Donna_F

NO, NO, NO. You two will NOT derail this thread.

*stamps foot*


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## bljones

Apparently, you will.
Two off-topic posts is a digression. three is a hijack.
Congrats, casey jones. you just ran it off the rails.


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## SeattleSail

I do.


----------



## HaleyF

I also own my own boat. My boyfriend sails with me, but I initiated the purchase.

I'm also in my 20's so that probably puts me in a whole other category


----------



## janice142

I'm aboard Seaweed for 5.5 years as a soloist the entire time. And there's no life better! 
Born and raised aboard a 40'er so it's natural to consider a boat a home. And mine's cute. Alas I'm under ten posts so I can't show her to you. That said, if you're curious janice142 dot com is me.


----------



## TQA

janice142 said:


> I'm aboard Seaweed for 5.5 years as a soloist the entire time. And there's no life better!
> Born and raised aboard a 40'er so it's natural to consider a boat a home. And mine's cute. Alas I'm under ten posts so I can't show her to you. That said, if you're curious janice142 dot com is me.


Yup your little Schucker is kind of cute.


----------



## MikeGuyver

I've lost count....seems to be a lot of female owners. I've known a few and admire their ability to take the responsibility of boat ownership seriously. I know I've seen more men crash a docking than women. WE own our boat and some shipboard duties are hers and some are mine, I usually do the "big shirt, little hat stuff" and she does things that don't require brute strength. The lines blur quite a bit after that. If anything ever happens to me, she'll be the "primary owner" adding one more to the count.
Please excuse me now while I take off the other shoe and continue the count.


----------



## zeehag

i still own 2, one of which is my home as i cruise it and repair it while under way.....


----------



## capecodda

Wife of 25 years owned a boat before we were married. She let me sail it. 5 boats later we are still sailing.

Enough said.


----------



## oceangirl

Lived aboard and owned boats since 19. Cat, monos, and even a trawler. Met my hubby, sold my current boat ( I think it was boat number 7?) and moved over to Rain Dog, a gorgeous pacific seacraft 34, my hubby is pretty spectacular too.


----------



## Seaduction

MarkofSeaLife said:


> Any girls that want to half own a boat mine is available. Ownership comes after long and fun relationship with a reasonably wonderful froot-loop.


Thinking along those lines, a lot of women already own a boat if their husband owns one. (community property or dower rights, etc.). On the other hand, its a "guy" thing. How many men own their own sewing machine or bridal shop?


----------



## barefootnavigator

My ex wife owns my boat, does that count???


----------



## Rhapsody-NS27

Seaduction said:


> How many men own their own sewing machine or bridal shop?


I have my own sewing machine. It's a Sailrite one but it still counts.


----------



## barefootnavigator

I have a sewing machine, her name is Serena


----------



## Seaduction

Rhapsody-NS27 said:


> I have my own sewing machine. It's a Sailrite one but it still counts.


No, it doesn't count. I meant a Singer machine for making dresses or curtains.


----------



## oceangirl

My hubby came with a sewing machine, heavy duty but not sail rite. I came with a wicked stainless steel and silicon bronze hardware supply ( 4 full tackle boxes full- it's like Christmas every time we open it ). 
Funny, I'm doing projects this week with the sewing machine, he has been raiding the SS supply. A match made in heaven.


----------



## LesleyS

Posting this somehow makes me feel like one of those AA meetings: 
"I'm single, and I own my own sailboat." 

I'm the one who maintains the engine, climbs the mast, paints the bottom, and gets FerretChaser to fix the cracked keel and other stuff when I ran out of talent to fix things. After 3 years of working on my boat, I'm still loving it and trying to undo years of neglect and being stored on the hard. While she's still not live-aboardable, I am working determinedly in that direction....


----------



## emcentar

There should be a thread on what makes a great sailing marriage. 

I'm the partner who really loves to sail, loves it so much I had to have a boat. My savings paid for the boat and I pay the slip fees out of my pocket. I'm the one who studies sailing magazines and books and reads navigation guides over coffee. I'm the one who figures out that our main isn't going up all the way because we aren't releasing the traveler, who is the better sailor in light winds, who doesn't panic at the helm in rough chop.

But sailing a modern cruiser also requires being able to fix engines and diagnose plumbing issues, and this is where my spouse, an engineer, shines. I don't think I would have dared get the boat without her. It's a sailing match made in heaven. I feel very lucky.

E.


----------



## zeehag

yeah i am single,own my own ketch and am out cruising it, broken down and rebuilding engine in exotic locales...lol


----------



## LesleyS

emcentar, 
I highly recommend the Womens Sailing Organization Women-Only Diesel Workshop. I took it a couple years ago, and my confidence working on my own diesel sky-rocketed. They're holding another one in Massachusetts this February over a weekend. 

Before anyone flames on about womens-only-anything, I have a long career racing cars and building my own gasoline engines. However, the shared experience of a group of about 15 women learning together about diesel engines was priceless, and I am not normally a big fan of women-only-anything. (I mean, come on! How are we ever to meet interesting men if we engage in women-only activities? )

The big benefit of the workshop was that no one was afraid to ask a question, no matter how "dumb" it might be, everyone shared knowledge and experiences freely, and everyone had a chance to get their hands dirty actually working on the motors. That is not something I find available in a mixed-breed workshop.  

I can't recommend the Mack Boring Womens-Only class highly enough, if confidence in working on the mechanical aspect of the boat is your goal. 

Now, can anyone PLEASE recommend a similar way of learning about the electrickery? I have a definite mental block and scaredy-kat mentality when it comes to things that spark and go boom, or worse smolder and burn when you're not looking....

Lesley
s/v SheerJoy


----------



## Me and Boo

emcentar said:


> There should be a thread on what makes a great sailing marriage.
> 
> I'm the partner who really loves to sail, loves it so much I had to have a boat. My savings paid for the boat and I pay the slip fees out of my pocket. I'm the one who studies sailing magazines and books and reads navigation guides over coffee. I'm the one who figures out that our main isn't going up all the way because we aren't releasing the traveler, who is the better sailor in light winds, who doesn't panic at the helm in rough chop.
> 
> But sailing a modern cruiser also requires being able to fix engines and diagnose plumbing issues, and this is where my spouse, an engineer, shines. I don't think I would have dared get the boat without her. It's a sailing match made in heaven. I feel very lucky.
> 
> E.


No spouse nor partner. Just a cat and some day a dog or two. If I need a man to do heavy work I will get one off the docks. The rest of the time no spouse required.


----------



## SloopJonB

zeehag said:


> yeah i am single,own my own ketch and am out cruising it, broken down and rebuilding engine in exotic locales...lol


Cruising has long been defined as working on a boat in exotic locales.


----------



## SloopJonB

Me and Boo said:


> No spouse nor partner. Just a cat and some day a dog or two. If I need a man to do heavy work I will get one off the docks. The rest of the time no spouse required.


The only reason to have a man around is to do the heavy lifting? Why don't you just buy a chain hoist - then you wouldn't need one at all.

Pretty sad.


----------



## Multihullgirl

Was primary owner of Hobie 16, then NACRA 18 Square Meter catamaran, then F-27GS trimaran. Now am half owner of 40S Catana catamaran



What is 'pretty sad' about Me and Boo's comment? I see nothing sad in it at all


----------



## SloopJonB

I guess it's one of those "If I have to explain it...." kind of things.


----------



## Brewgyver

TheTardis said:


> Hi all, just wanted to give an update. As of yesterday, I am now the proud owner of a 1978 Pearson 30. Great boat and I'm excited to start working on her and making her shine!


Awesome, congrats! :thewave:


----------



## Brewgyver

TheTardis said:


> I couldn't figure out how to post pics from my phone so I just put it in my signature


Wow, nice pic! Did you photoshop the rainbow in there, or just get lucky?


----------



## zeehag

i have a chain hoist and a lifting thingie and a come along and all that very testosterone filled stuff used to exchanging engines in a boat, as i already did this around 3000 miles ago
man good for carry engine block on high way to machinist shop.


----------



## Ajax_MD

LesleyS said:


> <snip>
> 
> Now, can anyone PLEASE recommend a similar way of learning about the electrickery? I have a definite mental block and scaredy-kat mentality when it comes to things that spark and go boom, or worse smolder and burn when you're not looking....
> 
> Lesley
> s/v SheerJoy


Electricity is simply plumbing where electrons are the water.
Be not afraid, and get thee a copy of Nigel Calder's book "Boatowner's Mechanical & Electrical Manual".

You might also enjoy these: NEETS - Navy Electricity and Electronics Training Series

The Navy Electricity & Electronics Training Series. I learned all about 'tricity from these when I was a wee little sperm in the US Navy.


----------



## janice142

Hiring testosterone is always an option... and by the same token I've been asked to run wires, install tachometers and such in those tiny places a male simply won't fit. Because I am not afraid of heights I've done quite a bit of work from a bosun's chair (actually a climbing harness because to me it feels safer/more secure) -- not because the fellow cannot, but because I like to see the world from up there and hauling me up a mast is a lot less work than someone weighing a couple hundred pounds. It's a part of the life. Some things I can do better and other stuff not so much. That's when it's nice to help and have help. That's what boat folks do for each other.


----------



## svHyLyte

Me and Boo said:


> No spouse nor partner. Just a cat and some day a dog or two. If I need a man to do heavy work I will get one off the docks. The rest of the time no spouse required.


Yep. As Andy Rooney ("60 Minutes") once observed, "Ladies, why buy a pig when all you need is a little sausage from time to time", No?


----------



## CaptLDL

I have owed my own boats the past 20+ yrs...first fishing boats and now a sailboat. Love it! I continually learn more and more! I have sailed solo quite a bit in the Chesapeake Bay. This year will try the Atlantic...


----------



## LesleyS

Thanks, Bubblehead!
I will definitely look into those. I have a couple books on the electrickery,including Calder's, but my problem seems to be taking it from page to hands - on where the mental block kicks in. I don't know how to transition from theoretical to practical. kinda like someone who has read all there is about sailing, but still can't translate to getting out on the water and actually going sailing. I need some hands on guidance, and I don't just know where to get it. Any suggestions? 
thanks again for the helpful link!
Lesley


----------



## ctl411

emcentar said:


> There should be a thread on what makes a great sailing marriage.
> 
> I'm the partner who really loves to sail, loves it so much I had to have a boat. My savings paid for the boat and I pay the slip fees out of my pocket. I'm the one who studies sailing magazines and books and reads navigation guides over coffee. I'm the one who figures out that our main isn't going up all the way because we aren't releasing the traveler, who is the better sailor in light winds, who doesn't panic at the helm in rough chop.
> 
> But sailing a modern cruiser also requires being able to fix engines and diagnose plumbing issues, and this is where my spouse, an engineer, shines. I don't think I would have dared get the boat without her. It's a sailing match made in heaven. I feel very lucky.
> 
> E.


Releasing the main sheet not traveler.


----------



## sage

Hello 
Yup newbie here, just joined the site.
Don't have my boat yet but will next year. I got hooked on sailing with my partner when we did the winters south on the water and the summers north working. We made a great team...but a lousy couple. So he's off on his boat and I'm stuck here - for now.

Not experienced enough to be alone so I'll need a crew but can't wait to get back on the water.

And yes I'm a woman and yes I'll be the owner.


----------



## pnwnovice

I am! I just bought my first sailboat, a 23' Coronado! I don't know what I'm doing, but learning quickly


----------



## sony2000

Sage, you are welcome to practice sailing on my boat.


----------



## castingoff

I will soon. As with my 800cc motorcycle, time on my own was the best thing for building my confidence...which is what I am excited for sailing singlehanded. Can't wait to find the perfect match to call my own and cast off for open water. Galley swain wanted


----------



## janice142

castingoff... congratulations. Good luck finding the great boat. Back in the day, I had a working file of possible boats that you might find useful.

Janice142 The Boat List
Good luck.


----------



## castingoff

janice142 said:


> castingoff... congratulations. Good luck finding the great boat. Back in the day, I had a working file of possible boats that you might find useful.


Thanks for the resource. Will check it out. BTW, back in _which_ day? 

Christine


----------



## faiaoaehe

I own my own boat, my fourth.


----------



## winddancer

I am in the process of buying a 22 footer, I am a female, and have sailed all of my life


----------



## Donna_F

Welcome to SailNet, winddancer.


----------



## Robbyn

I do... Endeavour 32


----------



## SloopJonB

Here's a big like for all of you, and where the hell were you when I was single?


----------



## bigdogandy

Robbyn said:


> I do... Endeavour 32


Welcome to Sailnet, Robbyn - the E32 is a great boat!


----------



## Ajax_MD

faiaoaehe said:


> I own my own boat, my fourth.


Your screen name looks Irish. Are you Irish, or is it just the name of the boat?
What kind of boat?

Just curious.


----------



## Robbyn

Thank you Andy for the welcome... and the nice comment 
about my Endeavour I like her too.


----------



## Melrna

Welcome Robbyn. Glad you are here


----------



## Robbyn

Thank you Melrna glad to be here!!!! Been working on my boat
for a few years and often have questions with no answers.

But ♡♥ every minute of it labor and sail time!!!


----------



## tadavidson

*Own My Boat*

I own my O'Day 32' and live aboard alone very happily in Ventura, CA. People even here in California look askance at this, because I suppose I'm in a minority.

Tania Davidson
S/V Ashera 
Ventura Harbor, CA


----------



## SloopJonB

People here don't.  There's a Grandma living discreetly but illegally in a marina near me. She does a lot of woodwork, varnish etc. on other boats and knows more about it than most of the guys in the boatyard.

One dreamer was trying to do a hack rebuild on an old wooden boat. It needed a new stem and he was completely clueless about it. He ignored a lot of good advice from the denizens of the boatyard but finally was forced to hire her. She quickly got fed up with the BS corner cutting he expected so she fired HIM.


----------



## Greenhand

We are joint owners, but since I am currently unemployed, our dockmates know me.

I am noticing a pattern that I get projects started, then hubby swoops in on the weekends and gets to finish them. I just can't seem to make my arms long enough to reach both ends of a through bolted stanchion.


----------



## janice142

LesleyS said:


> my problem seems to be taking it from page to hands - on where the mental block kicks in. I don't know how to transition from theoretical to practical. (snip) I need some hands on guidance, and I don't just know where to get it.


Hello Lesley. If you're in a marina or boatyard the best/easiest way is to chat up a fellow who has done similar work on his boat. Ask questions. Nobody knew all this stuff at first. We learn and eventually it will make sense to you too.

First though, wire something simple that you "can't mess up" - it's summertime so I'd suggest a fan. Tell your circle of testosterone (or lady friend) what you want to do and ask what they would do first.

One step at a time, and you can do it.
Two wires, (one positive/hot, one ground/neutral)
From your breaker panel to the object (one of each color wire)

I'm presuming of course you're working with 12-volts.
The rest though comes a bit at a time, and it will make sense, guaranteed.

IF however you're planning on wiring your entire boat and are clueless after reading Calder's, you probably will have to spend some money for help. Or work out a Swap.

What can you do well?
I've hired help for meals and a small bit of $$ (extremely small) 
I've swapped my work for theirs
I've traded cruising guides for work
And I've simply done stuff for boaters because they needed help.

A while back I replaced a sheave at the top of a mast for two cookies. Doggone First Mate ate 'em when my back was turned.

Picture of First Mate:









And friends have helped me many times with things that were beyond my scope -- either strength or knowledge. I've been blessed.


----------



## swanbedankt

I know many single handed women sailors who have off shore experience and tough coastal experience. And to revive this topic, I add, they sail Steel Brent Swain sailboats or Vintage wood or other kinds of makes and have great lives cruising the oceans.
Its a good life for a woman.. sometimes challenging because of the 'old boys clubs'. but the nice guys are not ruffled by it! And friends are made tried and true.. its a good life! True colors. Thats what the sea gives.. True Colors.


----------



## smackdaddy

swanbedankt said:


> I know many single handed women sailors who have off shore experience and tough coastal experience. And to revive this topic, I add, they sail Steel Brent Swain sailboats or Vintage wood or other kinds of makes and have great lives cruising the oceans.
> Its a good life for a woman.. sometimes challenging because of the 'old boys clubs'. but the nice guys are not ruffled by it! And friends are made tried and true.. its a good life! True colors. Thats what the sea gives.. True Colors.


And, remember, BS is even single!










True colors.


----------



## SloopJonB

And destined to stay that way.


----------



## rackham the red

Hi,
Many women own their own boats! But what is the big deal, many men own their own boats.

I don't see the need of this separation. It is a type of person who owns their own boat or plane. They live life to the wall and are blessed and lucky enough to have been given or earned the opportunity. 

I can own my boat and plane and still really appreciate a man that opens a door and provides flowers now and then. And for my part thank you to all the men that have taught me something along the way so I could be competent captain and mechanic and unplug the head when necessary.

Don't divide - include!

It might be fun


----------



## Donna_F

rackham the red said:


> Hi,
> Many women own their own boats! But what is the big deal, many men own their own boats.
> 
> I don't see the need of this separation. ...
> Don't divide - include!
> 
> It might be fun


I seriously doubt that Julie's intent with her original question was to divide. It was probably just natural curiosity from one woman to the rest of us. No conspiracies behind it.


----------



## PassMeBy

Just putting in two cents (I'm a guy). I've been following a gal in Panama on YouTube that impresses the holy crap out of me. (Untie the lines). She bought an aluminum boat and has done everything from repairing holes to wiring. Was in the Navy on ships with women. Anything that needed doing got done.

No reason why women can't be skippers of their own craft. The biggest problems women face is the same as men. Honesty. If you don't know something, say so. Find out about it and move forward.

Another problem is taking it personal or some sort of insult if someone treats you like a "girl". I was raised to open doors and watch my language. Take advantage of that and I won't be around you long enough for you to mind anyway. Beat me up for it, same same.

I vote for more women skippers and more "girl" boats!


----------



## TakeFive

DRFerron said:


> I seriously doubt that Julie's intent with her original question was to divide. It was probably just natural curiosity from one woman to the rest of us. No conspiracies behind it.


Did she ever actually buy a boat? Just curious...


----------



## Donna_F

TakeFive said:


> Did she ever actually buy a boat? Just curious...


I don't know. I have not seen her post in a while. Hopefully she's out sailing but I think she would have let us know she bought a boat after all the lead-up.


----------



## Minnewaska

TakeFive said:


> Did she ever actually buy a boat? Just curious...


I hope she did, but her pattern turned out to be more like a troll. More generously, more like someone with a commitment problem. More admirably, someone too smart to buy a boat.


----------



## gamayun

PassMeBy said:


> Just putting in two cents (I'm a guy). I've been following a gal in Panama on YouTube that impresses the holy crap out of me. (Untie the lines). She bought an aluminum boat and has done everything from repairing holes to wiring. Was in the Navy on ships with women. Anything that needed doing got done.
> 
> No reason why women can't be skippers of their own craft. The biggest problems women face is the same as men. Honesty. If you don't know something, say so. Find out about it and move forward.
> 
> Another problem is taking it personal or some sort of insult if someone treats you like a "girl". I was raised to open doors and watch my language. Take advantage of that and I won't be around you long enough for you to mind anyway. Beat me up for it, same same.
> 
> I vote for more women skippers and more "girl" boats!


I agree with everything that PMB says except he misses the point of this thread, which if you go back to the beginning...

There are very few women who are the primary owners of their boat 

The question was originally posted almost two years ago and 143 people have responded though maybe half (at least) were not women who solely own their boats. At the risk of over-generalizing, I believe the biggest problem is because we tend to teach our girls that the world is a dangerous place when they venture around by themselves. We tell them to go places in a group, don't go out alone at night, and then we wonder what's wrong with them if they don't have a partner. It seems little wonder that few of them want to take on anything so risky as owning a boat. And about those Navy girls -- I am sure they are competent and probably super bad-a$$es, if one had to go up against them, but they are also in a controlled environment with superiors telling them what to do, and many people around them at all times. There might be some, though I'd guess still very few, who would be adventurous enough to cross a well-fortified, border checkpoint in a country where you can't speak the language or comprehend the signs, just to find a dive spot up the highway somewhere to spend a couple of vacation days. Or buy a boat in Panama sight unseen, then move there to go sailing. We tend to create too much fear of the unknown in our heads. Maybe posts like these and the increasing number of women sailors will eventually change that.


----------



## Donna_F

I just read a post on one of the Women who Sail FB groups where her 20 YO daughter and best girl friend are taking over a derelict sailboat in the marina and bringing it back to life.

If I had done that with sailboats instead of cars I would have had a boat 15 years sooner!


----------



## janice142

Owning a boat doesn't make you a boater any more than sleeping in the garage makes you a car. USING a boat is the difference, and few people (male or female) actually use their boats.

How many boats sit alone and neglected, rotting away in the sun? For me, what I like most is seeing a boat used. It doesn't have to be the shiniest boat at the yacht club, nor the largest -- just use the thing. 

A few days ago I arrived in Steinhatchee, FL and I must say this place is brimming with boats being used. It's fun to watch the little 20'ers going in and out. 

I will say that the larger boats don't seem to go any place at present. They, like me, may be waiting for a weather window before heading out. We shall see on Friday -- if the predictions are correct that's when I'm heading back out the channel.


----------



## gamayun

Steinhatchee!! My old stomping (and power boating) grounds. I miss the coleslaw at Roy's....it's my gold standard. Are you in a sailboat? I don't recall many sailboats in the area. Has that changed? Enjoy your time there!


----------



## janice142

gamayun said:


> Steinhatchee!! My old stomping (and power boating) grounds. I miss the coleslaw at Roy's....it's my gold standard. Are you in a sailboat? I don't recall many sailboats in the area. Has that changed? Enjoy your time there!


Hello gamayun. I see lots of 20' to 25' center console and fishing boats. There appears to be one live-aboard sailboat at a marina near the anchorage. In the anchorage are seven sailboats. One or possibly two are occupied.

One moves quite a bit.  That's not a good thing -- it's dragging around the anchorage and across the river. I'm at the far west end near Marker 48. It's all the way east now. I'm leaving today...

There's not much water off the channel anyplace further out (#1 is offshore)

Take care and I'm sorry I missed the cole slaw, though mine is pretty doggone good. I didn't get to Hungry Howie's either -- the pizza place on the water with docks. Wanted to do that but 1 to 2' seas determined a departure of today.

Can't waste a weather window, not even for pizza!


----------



## Me and Boo

janice142 said:


> Owning a boat doesn't make you a boater any more than sleeping in the garage makes you a car. USING a boat is the difference, and few people (male or female) actually use their boats.
> I will say that the larger boats don't seem to go any place at present. They, like me, may be waiting for a weather window before heading out. We shall see on Friday -- if the predictions are correct that's when I'm heading back out the channel.


A lot depends on where you are and who you are with. A lively dock with many people in and out every weekend and a few week days encourages everyone to get out and have fun. When plans are made to raft up and party in easy access locations, people will join in.

I do own Sisu and we (Boo and me) do go out. The weather has less to do with it than what condition Sisu is in (engine is currently seized and needs to be torn down - I can do that). Boo and I, along with several dock mates enjoy when we have 15 to 25 knt winds, seas 1 to 3 ft are fine, higher winds and seas are fun too. You have to trust your boat and your skills. Hiding in the berth when the breeze is over 10knt is silly. Get out and pound some waves.


----------



## zeehag

there is nothing better than finding a huge wind to sail an d having complete control over the boat... is awesome. it is even better then good car control while driving a hot looking good running sporty car fast..... lol....

btw--i use my boat when it is working-- now i am repairing...lol


----------



## welshwind

Is the counter to this question, how many single men own their own boat and how many couples own a boat? My wife and I have owned a couple large sailboats over a period of 12 years. So I wouldn't say that she owns her own boat and that I own my own boat. I'd say we own our boat.


----------



## gamayun

welshwind said:


> Is the counter to this question, how many single men own their own boat and how many couples own a boat? My wife and I have owned a couple large sailboats over a period of 12 years. So I wouldn't say that she owns her own boat and that I own my own boat. I'd say we own our boat.


To which I'd reply, this is probably 99% of boat owners. Not really interesting in and of itself so the question to ask couples is how many times does the woman fully skipper the boat? Or how often does she take it out with just her friends? Before I get drummed out with examples of how many on this forum are not passive participants, I think it's still the exception based on what I see on the water. Confidence in an activity can only be gained by doing not watching. This is not to disparage couples or men, but again, the point of the OP was to find out how many women own (handle?) their own boats. If taken solely from the responses in this post, it is very, very, very few.

Why?


----------



## SloopJonB

I would expand that to include the number of couples where the guy was "allowed" to buy a boat.


----------



## Scallywag2

Last month I had the pleasure of meeting Katie and Jessie. They are in the process of completing the great loop. Yes they own the boat. They do the repairs and the navigation. Very competent women. On their way home to Michigan. I am in awe of all the women boats owners and their accomplishments. Keep it up women.


----------



## deniseO30

We see a gal doing things on a boat that are just routine for her because she knows how, been doing it for years, and no matter how long she's been doing it. It ALWAYS seems Men are watching and "need, or must" give their unsolicited approval! AND men are ALWAYS watching! Even when I go out to get my boat off the mooring, been doing it for years now. I'll sometimes hear from a guy's voice from an apartment complex yell "you go girl!" LOL 

I go down to the pump out and pulling in behind need for speed race boats always seems to beget bewildered looks from the guys LOL Then, when a gal takes that same sail boat spins her around 180's in almost the same spot she pulled in, they even applause! 

When I was an angry feminist I'd go off with all kinds of $%^&*[email protected]#$%!! .. but I've mellowed at the years have gone by...

Most times I just say thanks and continue on. 

I have mellowed...


----------



## SloopJonB

Nuttin' there for a woman to get angry about Denise - it just goes to show how rare girls like you really are and how much guys appreciate seeing them in action.


----------



## zeehag

i liked showing off in fronnt of the know nothing guys who couldnt pivot their sloops..lol it was sooo rewarding as they just stood with jaw dropped..lol in front of uscg aux, who dont know from a sailboat in sd..lol
and turning formosa in a tight place was fun also... 
i jsut wish someone would relieve me of my day sailor so i can be at peace her in pair a dice with my cruiser.... yes, still a 2 boat owner.....


----------



## Scallywag2

denise030, zeehag, and all other capable sailing women-- I have nothing but respect for you and am envious of you. I am a know nothing male. I take things apart and put them back together again and have left over parts. I bought a sailboat because engines do not like me. I my youth was spent with women that went to beauty parlors. The first rule was do not touch my hair. You want me to change a light bulb? Therefore I am in awe of women that work on engines. Sorry Danica Patrick, but I am in her corner every times she races and in your corner when you sail. Thanks for the thread. I like seeing all the competent sail/power boat women.


----------



## Me and Boo

zeehag said:


> i liked showing off in fronnt of the know nothing guys who couldnt pivot their sloops..lol it was sooo rewarding as they just stood with jaw dropped..lol in front of uscg aux, who dont know from a sailboat in sd..lol
> and turning formosa in a tight place was fun also...
> i jsut wish someone would relieve me of my day sailor so i can be at peace her in pair a dice with my cruiser.... yes, still a 2 boat owner.....


 A few weeks ago a new slip owner was coming down the channel to his slip. On our dock we all go to help all boats arriving, beginners or experienced, a common courtesy because wind and tide can make berthing a real treat. I am on the finger yelling for which line he wanted first. He wanted to know what I meant. At that point it did not matter as his speed was too high. He did react correctly to that and got that under control. He also got into the correct lane to turn. I yelled out to start a hard to starboard to pivot into his slip. He replied he knew what he was doing. Behind me I heard a male voice "he knows what he is doing, he is an experience sailor".

"Ah, yeah sure" the inner me says. As the experienced sailor turned too slow and way too late, almost crunching into a 40' Catalina, he regained some control and ended up going to the dry dock, turning around and going back up and trying again. At least he had his lines out and enough people grabbed and pulled his boat into the slip. He, the experienced one, did not even know that his boat has a pivot point. Turns out my cat has more sea time then this guy. He is a nice guy, but does not take instructions from women all that well. Maybe he will in the future.

As for women handling their own boats, we are around. I prefer men not be on board my boat. They tend to touch or break things I do not want them touching or breaking. There are a handful of men I know who can be trusted, but the rest - go buy your own boat.


----------



## SloopJonB

Sounds like sexist discrimination to me. 

Any intelligent and/or life experienced man knows enough to follow a woman's instructions - in ALL things.


----------



## svHyLyte

Me and Boo said:


> ...
> 
> As for women handling their own boats, we are around. ....


Our slip is in a very tight basin that is difficult to maneuver in under any circumstances and particularly so when the wind is out of the south with any speed. I can't even count the number of boats that have ended up drifting broadside to and hanging up on the pilings on the north end of the basin and extricating them, without damage to the transoms of other yachts moored there, is a major pain in the neck. Never-the-less, when we are coming into our slip, my wife "drives" while I handle the lines as it makes no sense to me to have a 4'11" 100# woman attempting to handle lines on a 23,000± lb yacht, particularly when there's any unfavorable wind. She is the only woman in our club that handles her own boat and is often applauded for her skill by bystanders, some of whom feel compelled to shout out instructions often contrary to what's needed or appropriate. Fortunately, she's learned to ignore the chatter and manage the boat herself. And why not? How could gender have anything to do with boat handling skill at all?


----------



## gamayun

svHyLyte said:


> How could gender have anything to do with boat handling skill at all?


Egzactly! It begs the question why aren't there more women at the tillers?


----------



## Multihullgirl

Husband and I may both own the boat (this one, my others were all mine) but I am skipper: I helm, dock and make most of the decisions in regards the boat. As we say, he writes the checks.

It's always funny to watch the marina as I maneuver my cat, those heads peeping out from under biminis and dodgers. Of course the cat makes me look good with those nice two engines to steer with. My trimaran was a ***** to maneuver in close quarters. Speaking of not understanding pivot points, I was getting the cat off a dock in a stiff crosswind. A fella came along to help and kept hollering at me to 'turn the wheel!" Had I done so, I would have pivoted my sterns right into the dock, as the rudder is a couple feet forward of the transom...

Certainly as was mentioned above it makes far more sense for the stronger one to handle lines as one is docking. Also it is my observation that women tend to make better helms, I guess we notice nuances.

I really think 'cute' things like calling women 'admiral' and other such patronizing remarks etc demonstrate the chauvinism I experience with frequency in the sailing world. Maybe the pursuit of sailing just attracts chauvinists, and with that, women are relegated to galley slavery. Who knows?


----------



## chef2sail

Multihullgirl said:


> Husband and I may both own the boat (this one, my others were all mine) but I am skipper: I helm, dock and make most of the decisions in regards the boat. As we say, he writes the checks.
> 
> It's always funny to watch the marina as I maneuver my cat, those heads peeping out from under biminis and dodgers. Of course the cat makes me look good with those nice two engines to steer with. My trimaran was a ***** to maneuver in close quarters. Speaking of not understanding pivot points, I was getting the cat off a dock in a stiff crosswind. A fella came along to help and kept hollering at me to 'turn the wheel!" Had I done so, I would have pivoted my sterns right into the dock, as the rudder is a couple feet forward of the transom...
> 
> Certainly as was mentioned above it makes far more sense for the stronger one to handle lines as one is docking. Also it is my observation that women tend to make better helms, I guess we notice nuances.
> 
> I really think 'cute' things like calling women 'admiral' and other such patronizing remarks etc demonstrate the chauvinism I experience with frequency in the sailing world. Maybe the pursuit of sailing just attracts chauvinists, and with that, women are relegated to galley slavery. Who knows?


I think you are a tad oversensitive about remarks of others and look for examples, while at the same time making sweeping generalizations about men, just what you complain about men doing to you and other women

My wife who coowns our boat is experienced enough to handle both the lines and docking the vessel. Instead of getting persnickety when someone makes a remark someone looking for a fight would consider sexist, she instead smiles disarmingly at them and dazzles them with her confidence and sailing prowess.

I terms of docking to me its not the one who has the strength working the ines but more importantly the one who has the experience to put and hold the boat in the correct position so that it can be tied up


----------



## SloopJonB

Multihullgirl said:


> I really think 'cute' things like calling women 'admiral' and other such patronizing remarks etc demonstrate the chauvinism I experience with frequency in the sailing world. Maybe the pursuit of sailing just attracts chauvinists, and with that, women are relegated to galley slavery. Who knows?


Calling the woman "The Admiral" is a bit cute but it also usually applies correctly - the Captain controls the ships operations, the Admiral controls the ships movements - the way it usually is onboard our boats.


----------



## Multihullgirl

chef2sail said:


> I think you are a tad oversensitive about remarks of others and look for examples, while at the same time making sweeping generalizations about men, just what you complain about men doing to you and other women


You've got to be kidding me. Ten minutes of reading any sailing forum will tell you all you need to know about whether there is chauvinism in sailing... It's real easy not to see chauvinism when you're not on the receiving end of it... it ain't just me - husband sees it too - he's less tolerant than I

Tell me this: why is it there's no patronizing, pejorative little names for men aboard boats, similar to the 'Admiral' term?

Tell me this: why is it that almost without exception, on the dock, men strike up conversations with us, and then immediately turn to husband, and address him, excluding me, if a question about the boat itself or something technical comes up?


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## SloopJonB

How about "Deck Ape"? "Sewerman"? "Rail Meat"?

The reason men turn to the other men is simply because women like you, Denise etc. are so rare. I always speak to both to see what's what first - maybe other guys aren't so polite. I don't have to take my socks off to count the number of women I've met on the docks & in the boatyards that knew what was what - all the others turned to their man for answers.

It ain't all our fault.


----------



## Multihullgirl

SloopJonB said:


> How about "Deck Ape"? "Sewerman"? "Rail Meat"?


Those are applied to both sexes. Got another example?

We might be rare, I can dig that. No reason to make assumptions, and certainly no reason to persist once the chick shows some knowledge...


----------



## davidpm

Capt Len said:


> While I was scrounging ballast for Thane 39 years ago I found myself in competition with a woman building her 38 ft ferro sailboat. She went on to complete the vessel and cruise the coast and live aboard for many years . Too bad there is not more of this caliber of people on the waterfront. Even the men seem to have become fru fru or hand wringers.


I was delivering a boat last weekend. We sold our piano and a lady came to pick it up with two guys and her husband.

They were trying to get the piano out the door and it became obvious to my wife that the two automatic door closers had to come off first so the storm door would open all the way.

The three guys involved with the piano and two other guys my wife snagged off the street couldn't figure out how to disconnect the door closers.

She did find one guy who could get them off but didn't know how to put them back on.

Apparently tool use is no longer a human art much less a mainly occupation.


----------



## MikeOReilly

Just popped in here, so I apologize for not being up to speed on all that has been said, but to pick up on the current themes:

In my experience sexism is alive and well in the sailing and cruising community. Multihullgirl is bang on in her observations. In my world the use of "admiral" is usually used in a smarmy sexist way. It's most often used by older men (I am 47) in reference to their wives or significant others, and rarely is it meant as complimentary.

My partner/wife is an equal partner in all that we do. She's a better helm's person, I'm good at sailing. She's a better navigator, I'm a better cook She's the engine rat, I excel at the electrical and plumbing. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, but we both do it all. Underway we alternate captain/helm duties with deck/galley. We discuss, and make decisions together. But in times of crisis, who ever's on helm calls the shots.

We both feel the sexism, mostly from the older men in our community. It's hard to deal with b/c it's not meant as harmful, and my partner and I mostly ignore it. But in our world, it is real, although diminishing as the older guys go off to pasture.


----------



## svHyLyte

Multihullgirl said:


> Tell me this: why is it there's no cute little names for men aboard boats, similar to the 'Admiral' term?


Well. For one thing, few men are "cute", and the ones that are ususally aren't hanging about boats/yachts, eh? But, for the sake of the discussion, how 'bout suggesting some?



Multihullgirl said:


> Tell me this: why is it that almost without exception, on the dock, men strike up conversations with us, and then immediately turn to husband, and address him, excluding me, if a question about the boat itself or something technical comes up?


Perfectly honestly, because in many (most?) cases, the women are participating in the sport because their boyfriends/husbands are although I have seen several cases where the reverse is true. Many times also, the subject of discussion involves technical/engineering issues that few, although not all, women are less likely to be acquainted with. Never-the-less, when a competent, knowledgeable person speaks of a matter in question, few dismiss their input simply on the basis of gender although some, no doubt, do.

Frankly there aren't many places, situations, _et al_, in human relations where one cannot find a presumably offensive "ism" if one looks hard enough, hence the stunning evolution of "Political Correctness" in the last few decades, at least in the USA. Often though, whether some word, term, phrase, or thing is offensive depends upon who, or what race, gender etc. voices same. Out of the mouth of a woman an offensive phrase voiced by a man is often viewed quite differently or even applauded.

N'any case, aboard boats, some of the best, tho' not strongest, sailors are women and they are readily accorded accolades for their accomplishments (although not by some men who are evidently embarrassed at being surpassed by a woman.) My wife, for example is an excellent helmsman (or helmsperson, or helmswoman or, on our boat "driver"). She can get and keep the boat "in the groove" quite readily and in our younger days I did get a laugh out of the frustration in the faces of some of our competitors in local races when we overtook and lapped them with her "driving" in her little "cute" bikini and flying ponytail (to which she attributes her ability to sense the wind, a "perfect tell-tail" as she still says).

Ah well. Enough for the moment, eh? Have a nice day!!!


----------



## Sublime

Multihullgirl said:


> You've got to be kidding me. Ten minutes of reading any sailing forum will tell you all you need to know about whether there is chauvinism in sailing... It's real easy not to see chauvinism when you're not on the receiving end of it... it ain't just me - husband sees it too - he's less tolerant than I
> 
> Tell me this: why is it there's no patronizing, pejorative little names for men aboard boats, similar to the 'Admiral' term?
> 
> Tell me this: why is it that almost without exception, on the dock, men strike up conversations with us, and then immediately turn to husband, and address him, excluding me, if a question about the boat itself or something technical comes up?


Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's not chauvinism. Usually it's the men who own the boat and who are using it and the women are along for the ride. And should a man pointedly ask the woman about a boat she knows nothing about, well he'd come off as some ******* trying to belittle her.

So you've got to be careful throwing around this idea. Plus, it just isn't cool to have a chip on your shoulder.

I've experienced exactly what you've experienced. I know much more about my boat (I own it, hubby has never taken the helm cause he's scared  ) but he doesn't like to not know the answer. This means he rarely flips the question to me if this happens. I just let him yammer on. It'll be come apparent what he knows but he's pretty good at bullshitting. :laugher If I'm pissed at him, I'll correct him in front of people to get back at him. 

Anyway, it only took the same guys who treated me like that seeing me take my boat out by myself once and instantly I had their respect. They asked if anyone was with me. I said no. Bam, they were talking to me like I was one of the guys.

If the guys we're discussing were actual chauvinist, they'd be asking me who the hell let me out on that boat? They'd be laying into your husband about how dare he let you take the helm or work the sheets cause "she's not capable" and blah blah. Or taking the helm or sheets from you, telling you it's because you're a woman and weak and should just sit over there and look pretty. THAT is chauvinism.

What you're experiencing is that the guys you're talking to are used to the woman just flipping her hair while perched on the seat and asking "what is that thingie for" or screeching about spiders. It's not really those guys' fault. It's all of those other women's faults who have no ladyballs and think life is about never messing up your makeup.


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## SloopJonB

"Ladyballs" :laugher

Can I use that?


----------



## Sublime

SloopJonB said:


> "Ladyballs" :laugher
> 
> Can I use that?


For making it all the way through to the end of my yammering, why certainly!


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## gamayun

SloopJonB said:


> I would expand that to include the number of couples where the guy was "allowed" to buy a boat.


Are neutered males still male...?

Sorry. I resisted that comment as long as I could


----------



## Greenhand

Would it really be so hard to talk to the couple for the whole minute required to figure out which one answers whatever it is you are interested in talking about?

I did overhear a conversation in Spanish recently about how the owner is never there, just this woman. Of course, they are only working on the big boat during the week, so they don't see that we spend the whole weekend together on the boat.


----------



## girlgoessailing

I'm not the sole owner but my boyfriend and I just went in on a Beneteau together. It's our first and is documented under his name (his credit was better for the loan). I love hearing about other women who have been involved solo - it's really motivating and inspirational for me as an amateur sailor.


----------



## Minnewaska

You put money into a boat, with a boyfriend, and are not on title? Not a good idea.


----------



## SloopJonB

Don't know how it is in the States but if they're together a year here, it's half each for everything.


----------



## Greenhand

SloopJonB said:


> Don't know how it is in the States but if they're together a year here, it's half each for everything.


That is only true in a small handful of states (only five had common law marriage last I checked). Even then, common law marriages can be harder to prove and are never solely dependent on being together for a certain amount of time. There is, sometimes, a minimum time for the relationship.


----------



## Minnewaska

SloopJonB said:


> Don't know how it is in the States but if they're together a year here, it's half each for everything.


Common Law marriage was a convenience established for couples who did not have access to State official marriages in their rural area. It has been bastardized to join couples who have no desire to be married or so obligated. Good business for diverse attorneys. Very few States in the US continue to have Common Law statues. Probably a big reason we kicked the British out, who I believe invented the idea.


----------



## girlgoessailing

It was definitely risky and if it weren't for the full support of my family, I wouldn't have done it. Neither of us could do it entirely on our own and we've come up with some creative ways of making enough money to pay the boat together. Without risk there is less chance for reward, right?


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## Minnewaska

Anyone heard from the OP?


----------



## janice142

girlgoessailing said:


> It was definitely risky and if it weren't for the full support of my family, I wouldn't have done it. Neither of us could do it entirely on our own and we've come up with some creative ways of making enough money to pay the boat together. Without risk there is less chance for reward, right?


Be *VERY* careful of your funds and your labor when involved in this boat girlgoessailing. I have seen more than one relationship hit the rocks and the fellow, well, he owns the boat. It says so on the title.

The girl works hard, makes the boat "their home to sail the Caribbean" and then when the pressure is on and things are nearing completion the man gets scared (my theory) and picks a multitude of fights with worker girl. She leaves.

He settles down now that expectations and all those promises he made are gone... then he finds the Princess Babe who takes the place of his former partner.

Of course that relationship fails too -- Princess doesn't want to actually break her nails or anything like that! ...

So owner wishes for original gal. In the meantime, she's moved on. Less money but far wiser.

Be very careful. Of course one hopes this doesn't happen to you. Just be aware that statistically, you're in a precarious position. I do wish you well.


----------



## SloopJonB

Minnewaska said:


> Anyone heard from the OP?


She hasn't been around since last fall - she's missed too.


----------



## prettyredcars

DRFerron said:


> The same as when some months back someone asked why more minorities aren't sailing or someone else asked what happened to the young people.


Hey Im a 24yr old, half latina, female owner of three boats...... and I have no friends. But at least now I know I'm not the only one wondering why that is!


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## SloopJonB

Hang around somewhere where sailor guys hang out and you'll soon have LOTS of friends.


----------



## gamayun

SloopJonB said:


> Hang around somewhere where sailor guys hang out and you'll soon have LOTS of friends.


Not really. Many guys feel emasculated when they can't take care of their woman.

Go easy on me guys...I was being a bit sarcastic


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## SloopJonB

Only the weak ones - we real men like strong women.


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## Capt Len

Real men already have strong women. Leaves you looking for young unproven whelps. (or rejects ) (or transitionals)


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## PassMeBy

How do you manage three boats? 24? s'OK. Not to worry.


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## PassMeBy

I like to take care of a woman. Taking care is giving respect. I don't see it as negative. I'd expect any woman paired up with me to be able to take care of herself. Half the watches on deck!


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## PassMeBy

Having been through similar from the other side of the gender coin, I heartily agree. Throw your heart into it but keep your head on square. Mind your pints and quarts. He or she may be the love of your life but they aint blood.


----------



## SloopJonB

Capt Len said:


> Real men already have strong women. Leaves you looking for young unproven whelps. (or rejects ) (or transitionals)


"All the good ones are taken" 

Loser nonsense from both perspectives.


----------



## Donna_F

Oh my.


----------



## deniseO30

the last 2 pages here are making me ill. uke

This section of Sailnet proves that Male privilege is alive and well! More men post here then women! 

(woke up in a pissy mood)


----------



## Westsailforever

I know a woman that owns and lives on her boat and takes it sailing a lot . The pic is of a sister ship . The woman in question has quite a bit of nice equipment and canvas on hers, so her boat looks different (better) . Also she keeps it maintained to a high level .
ISLANDER FREEPORT 41 sailboat specifications and details on sailboatdata.com


----------



## SloopJonB

deniseO30 said:


> the last 2 pages here are making me ill. uke
> 
> This section of Sailnet proves that Male privilege is alive and well! More men post here then women!
> 
> (woke up in a pissy mood)


Sorry.


----------



## ianjoub

janice142 said:


> Be *VERY* careful of your funds and your labor when involved in this boat girlgoessailing. I have seen more than one relationship hit the rocks and the fellow, well, he owns the boat. It says so on the title.
> 
> The girl works hard, makes the boat "their home to sail the Caribbean" and then when the pressure is on and things are nearing completion the man gets scared (my theory) and picks a multitude of fights with worker girl. She leaves.
> 
> He settles down now that expectations and all those promises he made are gone... then he finds the Princess Babe who takes the place of his former partner.
> 
> Of course that relationship fails too -- Princess doesn't want to actually break her nails or anything like that! ...
> 
> So owner wishes for original gal. In the meantime, she's moved on. Less money but far wiser.
> 
> Be very careful. Of course one hopes this doesn't happen to you. Just be aware that statistically, you're in a precarious position. I do wish you well.


Well, once she finishes working on the boat, why keep her? Bring her sailing to exotic ports is like bringing sand to the beach...

 ... I'm kidding. I will be going sailing with my wife


----------



## sailpower

Multihullgirl said:


> Tell me this: why is it there's no patronizing, pejorative little names for men aboard boats, similar to the 'Admiral' term?


Admiral = SWMBO?


----------



## Donna_F

sailpower said:


> Admiral = SWMBO?


Yes.

There are two camps. Some women find nothing wrong with it and others find it demeaning.

Personally, I don't like it, but once I saw just how many women are perfectly OK with the label, I decided there are more important things to get vocal about.

That said, my SO knows I'll go total Lysistrata on him if he calls me Admiral.


----------



## deniseO30

I's a short list of condescending names

"Boy, cabinboy, beerbitch, hey you, nonCapitain!, boybelow manboy boyman, manlyboy boyishman, halyardwhore, which man Winch Is You 

want more? 

uh.. no anchorman is not one of them


----------



## Donna_F

Wow.


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## PassMeBy

Sorry, I'm out.


----------



## janice142

I have Admiral on my boat card... it was that or Bilge Rat, both of which have been the titles most earned of late. But most people call me by the name of my boat and that's perfectly fine too.

There are worse things in the world and as long as any term is not meant in a derogatory way, or even if it is, what difference does that make? I don't much care what you think about me as I'm living the life I chose. 

Owning and living aboard a boat does take a level of internal strength. If you don't have that you'll either fail, or fall into a bottle of booze for some liquid bravery. The latter never works well for the individual.

And all too often that's what happens to the solo men out here. It's not pretty.


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## SloopJonB

In the Navy the Admiral controls the ships movements while the Captain controls the ships operations. That's pretty much been the situation on most of the boats I've been on re: the wife & the husband (or GF/BF).

On the boats owned by women I guess it should be reversed and the guy should be the Admiral.


----------



## deniseO30

Funny all the years I had male employees it never was an issue. ever. On a boat. I can't even ask a guy to get me a soft drink! without some smart A--- remark LOL


----------



## Minnewaska

It seems to me that some like to continually poke through the cage and, when the animal bites back, they expect it to be tranquilized.


----------



## deniseO30

SloopJonB said:


> In the Navy the Admiral controls the ships movements while the Captain controls the ships operations. That's pretty much been the situation on most of the boats I've been on re: the wife & the husband (or GF/BF).
> 
> On the boats owned by women I guess it should be reversed and the guy should be the Admiral.


Well I didn't get my boat for the little man to be my captain LOL even though my little man is 6'2" (son)

I've absolutely loved owning my own boat all this time even with, getting older, lack of energy, funds, etc.


----------



## deniseO30

Minnewaska said:


> It seems to me that some like to continually poke through the cage and, when the animal bites back, they expect it to be tranquilized.


yep! The just "have to" say something but then the ladies aren't prolific writers here either.


----------



## SloopJonB

deniseO30 said:


> Funny all the years I had male employees it never was an issue. ever. On a boat. I can't even ask a guy to get me a soft drink! without some smart A--- remark LOL


When they act like that, show them that workbench you built - that'll humble them.


----------



## janice142

SloopJonB said:


> When they act like that, show them that workbench you built - that'll humble them.


There is another option: a Man overboard practice.


----------



## Brent Swain

Lately I have been meeting a huge increase in young women either looking for or owning their own boats. They say that owning a boat is the only affordable way they will ever own their own home. What a contrast with when I began sailing.


----------



## Westsailforever

deniseO30 said:


> I's a short list of condescending names
> 
> "Boy, cabinboy, beerbitch, hey you, nonCapitain!, boybelow manboy boyman, manlyboy boyishman, halyardwhore, which man Winch Is You
> 
> want more?
> 
> uh.. no anchorman is not one of them


You forgot galley mouse. I mean that's what Ms. Westi calls me, sometimes .


----------



## PelorusJack

My Uncle just gave me my first sailboat a 23 foot Olympic Dolphin she needs a lot of work before I can get started I'm praying the Farmers Almanac is correct and we have to more months of good weather here in Canada.


----------



## sailpower

Beer assistant?


----------



## paikea

Brent Swain said:


> Lately I have been meeting a huge increase in young women either looking for or owning their own boats. They say that owning a boat is the only way they will ever own their own home. What a contrast with when I began sailing.


Brent, some women don't like the idea and concept of depending on things, all sort of things ( I wont even list them because then I open the Pandora box in a forum). As someone nicely put it, the boat gives one a sort of controllable finite universe. As long as you actually learn as many aspects of it as possible, at the same time, it gives you the world as the backyard (at least in certain instances). Its risky, its tricky, it requires a certain mind set, certain personal expectations from life overall, and I don't go down this direction only because my sense of adventure and taking chances. 
Its not "the only way to own a home" for me, its just setting different priorities and wants. And what works for me most probably wont work for other women. We all have different priorities and wants and needs and each has to do what makes them happy.


----------



## Donna_F

"Galley mouse" 

Perfect!


----------



## aa3jy

Some don't mind being called "Admiral"..
-------------------------------------------------------

7/1/2014 - Present
ADMIRAL MICHELLE HOWARD


Admiral Howard is a 1978 graduate of Gateway High School in Aurora, Colorado. She graduated from the United States Naval Academy in 1982 and from the Army’s Command and General Staff College in 1998, with a Masters in Military Arts and Sciences.


Howard’s initial sea tours were aboard USS Hunley (AS 31) and USS Lexington (AVT 16). While serving on board Lexington, she received the secretary of the Navy/Navy League Captain Winifred Collins award in May 1987. This award is given to one woman officer a year for outstanding leadership. She reported to USS Mount Hood (AE 29) as chief engineer in 1990 and served in Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm. She assumed duties as first lieutenant on board the USS Flint (AE 32) in July 1992. In January 1996, she became the executive officer of USS Tortuga (LSD 46) and deployed to the Adriatic in support of Operation Joint Endeavor, a peacekeeping effort in the former Republic of Yugoslavia. Sixty days after returning from the Mediterranean deployment, Tortuga departed on a West African training cruise, where the ship’s Sailors, with embarked Marines and U.S. Coast Guard detachment, operated with the naval services of seven African nations.


She took command of USS Rushmore (LSD 47) on March 12, 1999, becoming the first African American woman to command a ship in the U.S. Navy. Howard was the commander of Amphibious Squadron Seven from May 2004 to September 2005. Deploying with Expeditionary Strike Group (ESG) 5, operations included tsunami relief efforts in Indonesia and maritime security operations in the North Arabian Gulf. She commanded Expeditionary Strike Group Two from April 2009 to July 2010. In 2009, she deployed to CENTCOM theater, where she commanded Task Force 151, Multi-national Counter-piracy effort, and Task Force 51, Expeditionary Forces. In 2010, she was the Maritime Task Force commander for BALTOPS, under 6th Fleet.


Her shore assignments include: J-3, Global Operations, Readiness and executive assistant to the Joint Staff director of Operations; deputy director N3 on the OPNAV staff; deputy director, Expeditionary Warfare Division, OPNAV staff; senior military assistant to the secretary of the Navy; Chief of Staff to the director for Strategic Plans and Policy, J-5, Joint Staff, deputy commander, US Fleet Forces Command, and Deputy Chief of Naval Operations for Operations, Plans & Strategy (N3/N5). She currently serves as the 38th Vice Chief of Naval Operations.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...and my duly respect to her accomplishments..


----------



## deniseO30

Still.. whenever a male is on board a women owned/operated boat, anyone not knowing that, will ALWAYS defer to the male as the "Captain" The times when my son and I were on the Chesapeake anyone looking on would just assume my son was. He and I would just exchange glances and smile. I'd say "there ya go captain" take the wheel" AND pay the bills! LOL

I must say, in defense of men. Many younger men are "with it" and not "amazed" by women doing non traditional things. So.. there is hope


----------



## Capt Len

I'd like to add that there even some older men who fit that criteria. I'd like to consider myself in that group. My 'amazment' comes from seeing so few women climbing out of the 'traditional' box they cling to for security (??) No one said it's easy but kudos for trying and applause for succeeding and that's not gender orientated. Men too could use some self evaluation (I know ,cries of 'blasphemy'.


----------



## SloopJonB

aa3jy said:


> Some don't mind being called "Admiral"..
> -------------------------------------------------------
> 
> 7/1/2014 - Present
> ADMIRAL MICHELLE HOWARD
> 
> Admiral Howard is a 1978 graduate of Gateway High School in Aurora, Colorado. She graduated from the United States Naval Academy in 1982 and from the Army's Command and General Staff College in 1998, with a Masters in Military Arts and Sciences.
> 
> Howard's initial sea tours were aboard USS Hunley (AS 31) and USS Lexington (AVT 16). While serving on board Lexington, she received the secretary of the Navy/Navy League Captain Winifred Collins award in May 1987. This award is given to one woman officer a year for outstanding leadership. She reported to USS Mount Hood (AE 29) as chief engineer in 1990 and served in Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm. She assumed duties as first lieutenant on board the USS Flint (AE 32) in July 1992. In January 1996, she became the executive officer of USS Tortuga (LSD 46) and deployed to the Adriatic in support of Operation Joint Endeavor, a peacekeeping effort in the former Republic of Yugoslavia. Sixty days after returning from the Mediterranean deployment, Tortuga departed on a West African training cruise, where the ship's Sailors, with embarked Marines and U.S. Coast Guard detachment, operated with the naval services of seven African nations.
> 
> She took command of USS Rushmore (LSD 47) on March 12, 1999, becoming the first African American woman to command a ship in the U.S. Navy. Howard was the commander of Amphibious Squadron Seven from May 2004 to September 2005. Deploying with Expeditionary Strike Group (ESG) 5, operations included tsunami relief efforts in Indonesia and maritime security operations in the North Arabian Gulf. She commanded Expeditionary Strike Group Two from April 2009 to July 2010. In 2009, she deployed to CENTCOM theater, where she commanded Task Force 151, Multi-national Counter-piracy effort, and Task Force 51, Expeditionary Forces. In 2010, she was the Maritime Task Force commander for BALTOPS, under 6th Fleet.
> 
> Her shore assignments include: J-3, Global Operations, Readiness and executive assistant to the Joint Staff director of Operations; deputy director N3 on the OPNAV staff; deputy director, Expeditionary Warfare Division, OPNAV staff; senior military assistant to the secretary of the Navy; Chief of Staff to the director for Strategic Plans and Policy, J-5, Joint Staff, deputy commander, US Fleet Forces Command, and Deputy Chief of Naval Operations for Operations, Plans & Strategy (N3/N5). She currently serves as the 38th Vice Chief of Naval Operations.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> ...and my duly respect to her accomplishments..


A black, female Admiral in the U.S. Navy  Growing up in the 60's I never thought I'd live to see something like that, let alone a black POTUS (even if he is only male. )

Phenomenal change in societal attitudes within 1/2 a lifetime.

P.S. "Military *Arts*"?


----------



## SloopJonB

deniseO30 said:


> Still.. whenever a male is on board a women owned/operated boat, anyone not knowing that, will ALWAYS defer to the male as the "Captain" The times when my son and I were on the Chesapeake anyone looking on would just assume my son was. He and I would just exchange glances and smile. I'd say "there ya go captain" take the wheel" AND pay the bills! LOL
> 
> I must say, in defense of men. Many younger men are "with it" and not "amazed" by women doing non traditional things. So.. there is hope


Not really the case in all cases Denise - I'm a geezer and before I "defer" to either I always feel things out to see who's in charge when a man & woman are on a boat. I've found with older and/or very experienced couples, oftentimes no-one is "in charge", any more than they are in long term marriages.

I don't think it's so much being "amazed" as it being uncommon - as I've said before, women in command of their own boats are still pretty unusual. There are about 800 boats in my marina and I've yet to see a woman taking a boat out, either alone or "in charge".

Lots of us would like to see a lot more of it.


----------



## deniseO30

gents thank you for the input.. It's not personal, just general. I'm sure all the guys here on SN are "with it" ! even SJB


----------



## ianjoub

I sill rue the day women got the right to own property instead of being property ....
































***duck and run***


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## deniseO30

ianjoub said:


> I sill rue the day women got the right to own property instead of being property ....
> 
> ***duck and run***


Allot of thinking is still that way too.

Pregnant Pakistani woman stoned to death by her family


----------



## Brent Swain

deniseO30 said:


> Still.. whenever a male is on board a women owned/operated boat, anyone not knowing that, will ALWAYS defer to the male as the "Captain" The times when my son and I were on the Chesapeake anyone looking on would just assume my son was. He and I would just exchange glances and smile. I'd say "there ya go captain" take the wheel" AND pay the bills! LOL
> 
> I must say, in defense of men. Many younger men are "with it" and not "amazed" by women doing non traditional things. So.. there is hope


Women I know who own their own boats, often have this problem with male crews, who assume the role of Captain, despite knowing far less than the owner, in fact, almost nothing about boats, compared to the owner.
Young women don't put up with a fraction of the crap that women used to.


----------



## miatapaul

deniseO30 said:


> gents thank you for the input.. It's not personal, just general. I'm sure all the guys here on SN are "with it" ! even SJB


Hey I like strong women who go after what they want. That is what I helped raise two daughters to do. And they are off doing there things. I have no trouble sharing responsibilities with strong women.


----------



## Brent Swain

deniseO30 said:


> Allot of thinking is still that way too.
> 
> Pregnant Pakistani woman stoned to death by her family


In Kiribatti men brag about women there having fewer rights than a dog.
So who breast fed them? Their dogs? It shows man, it really shows!
( Wait til those suckers down at the sperm bank find out who the real donor was!)


----------



## zeehag

Brent Swain said:


> Women I know who own their own boats, often have this problem with male crews, who assume the role of Captain, despite knowing far less than the owner, in fact, almost nothing about boats, compared to the owner.
> Young women don't put up with a fraction of the crap that women used to.


and this is why i sit on dock or at anchor for 2 weeks or how ever long it takes to have the real personality appear....rodlmffao.. no one gets into my boat and sails away immediately. i have to get to know the quirks and weirdnesses first....lol


----------



## aeventyr60

The quirks and weirdness you musteve seen! ha! Good book book for a few million peso's.


----------



## gamayun

At the risk of resurrecting an old post, but one which I've enjoyed reading again over the years, I would like to make an observation and see if I can get consensus because I will be the keynote speaker at a women's sailing event at my club in a few weeks. I have been trying to find demographics about the number of women sailors out there and how many (married or single) own their boat. What I have found is that there are about 16 million boats, though only 12 million of which are registered, and about 87.3 million adults who participate in recreational boating. Of these totals, 1.5 million (~9%) are sailboats and a survey from the Northeast found 90% of recreational boating participants are male. So the best estimates I can come up with is that 8.7 million women in the U.S. participate in some form of recreational boating, with almost 800,000 involved in sailing. If this thread is any indication, then somewhere between 10 and 15% of sailboat owners are female, which is around 150,000 to 225,000 women. Would anyone care to give some feedback on my assumptions here?

Any other interesting tidbits that might be useful for my presentation would also be appreciated. Its theme is about overcoming fear and achieving your goals, which in this case is skippering one's own boat, whether they own it or not, or whether they're partnered or not.

Thanks!


----------



## xort

Melrna said:


> I do..


This one? ☺


----------



## Donna_F

gamayun said:


> ...
> 
> Any other interesting tidbits that might be useful for my presentation would also be appreciated. Its theme is about overcoming fear and achieving your goals, which in this case is skippering one's own boat, whether they own it or not, or whether they're partnered or not.
> 
> Thanks!


I overcome my fear (yes. still have it) by not worrying at the moment what others think of me. Everyone was a beginner once. If they can't remember what that felt like then so be it. Focus on the job at hand and move on.

Best of luck with your presentation!


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## Melrna

xort said:


> This one? ☺


Yes this one.!!:svoilier:


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## zeehag

one less boat owned by a woman....whoot--sold my ericson finally, which means my final bottom line has come in at 4650 usd for a formos 41 purchase, as the deal was essentially was a boat trade...lol.... win.


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## SloopJonB

Wow - that's as close to free as makes no difference - for a pirate ship in paradise.

Well done.


----------



## Aquarian

Me


----------



## Cande

This will be a quick reply, I'll reply again when I have more time to offer a thoughtful response. LOVE all the data you present, and also that you bring it with the disclaimer suggesting the difficulty in getting accurate data. That said, one criteria not mentioned was those boats that are owned jointly among partners, married or not; but who might register the boat, for "convenience," arguably in the man's name. I think that skews the data.
Also, what I see among couples is the division of labor which is a consideration. I won't offer examples right now, because different couples divide the activities involved in sailing differently. Our yacht club only opened up membership to women about 15 years ago, and we had our first woman commodore 13 years ago. It would be interesting to survey yacht clubs regarding the number of members who are women who "own" or skipper their own boats, 
My husband's mother purchased and sailed her own boat in about 1965. 
I think it's much more common than might be assumed.
Cande


----------



## MikeOReilly

Cande said:


> ... That said, one criteria not mentioned was those boats that are owned jointly among partners, married or not; but who might register the boat, for "convenience," arguably in the man's name. I think that skews the data.


This is a good point. Our boat is jointly owned by me and my partner. She is as much the owner, master and captain as I.


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## SVGimmeShelter

I"m 27, and female, and own an Oday 34. I bought it before me and my husband were engaged, but to be fair I did have him in mind for maintenance when I bought it. 

SVGimmeshelter.com


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## Minnewaska

Don't tells those that insist sailing is discriminatory that there was a female yacht club commodore, there heads will explode.

The sport is not discriminatory, but some people can be.


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## Don L

SVGimmeShelter said:


> I"m 27, and female, and own an Oday 34. I bought it before me and my husband were engaged, but to be fair I did have him in mind for maintenance when I bought it.
> 
> SVGimmeshelter.com


Interesting how that works sometimes. My wife is a nuclear qualified electrician from the Navy. In the past 8 years and 2 different boats you know how many electrical things she has worked on? ..................Zero!


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## Rhapsody-NS27

SVGimmeShelter said:


> I"m 27, and female, and own an Oday 34. I bought it before me and my husband were engaged, but to be fair I did have him in mind for maintenance when I bought it.
> 
> SVGimmeshelter.com


Welcome aboard!

Looking at your blog, you have a nice looking boat and a couple nice pups on board. Enjoy your time here at Sailnut


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## SloopJonB

SVGimmeShelter said:


> I"m 27, and female, and own an Oday 34. I bought it before me and my husband were engaged, but to be fair I did have him in mind for maintenance when I bought it.
> 
> SVGimmeshelter.com


Why? Is he high maintenance?


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## NoVaNovice

I just bought my first boat at age 58. It's a 66' houseboat that will not move much once it arrives from Atlanta but will be a comfortable home for my business, my dog, and myself!


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## tadavidson

I'm 50 now, have owned 4 boats in my lifetime so far. One with a husband (Coronado 15'), one with a boyfriend (Catalina 27') and two myself. I do most of my own work on them except electrical because I don't want to burn my boat down. ;-) I think I have met at least 5+ others (women who own their own boats solo) in the past 5 years. I always think it's interesting how it is surprising to men that you live alone aboard and will assume you're with someone else who's boat it is. Just me and my dog!


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## cb32863

Minnewaska said:


> Don't tells those that insist sailing is discriminatory that there was a female yacht club commodore, there heads will explode.
> 
> The sport is not discriminatory, but some people can be.


My club has had two, current one is a gal and we do a lot to promote women and sailing.We have a race series dedicated to women being skippers as well.


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## svHyLyte

Minnewaska said:


> Don't tells those that insist sailing is discriminatory that there was a female yacht club commodore, there heads will explode.
> 
> The sport is not discriminatory, but some people can be.


Humm...One of the best Commodores of our club in SoCal--Alamitos Bay YC--was a lady, Mrs. Norma Clapp, in 1991. And, she was a heck of a good sailor as well.

FWIW...


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## iamregina

I'd love to own one, but my husband and I are still talking about it at the moment. But definitely, I love sailing!


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## Minnewaska

iamregina said:


> I'd love to own one, but my husband and I are still talking about it at the moment. But definitely, I love sailing!


Is your husband opposed? If so, to which, owning or sailing?


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## iamregina

Hi Minnewaska. Owning.


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## Donna_F

iamregina said:


> Hi Minnewaska. Owning.


There are many options for non-boat owners. Before I bought my first boat, which was a 22-foot trailer boat, I joined a local small boat club to 1) find out if I really liked sailing and 2) have the opportunity to be crew on other people's boats. For $40 a year it was a small investment.

Even on small boats you really get a feel while being crew of the maintenance involved, various costs, responsibilities, etc. The cost of a larger boat can be a lot (depending on the size boat and your definition of "a lot").

I would say there's no need to jump into boat ownership especially if both partners are not fully on board with the idea. In my case I owned my first boat before I met my partner so it was "take me, take my boat, too."


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## Minnewaska

iamregina said:


> Hi Minnewaska. Owning.


There are two opposing forces.

First, if you don't sail frequently, you'll never really improve. In fact, one could retrograde. Owning your own boat is the best way to remain a competent sailor, unless you have a club available or you are a professional instructor/skipper.

On the other hand, owning comes with a ton of time and financial responsibility. There is no other way about it. You are either good with that, or you're not.

I just spent the better part of this past weekend, starting the process of recommissioning for the Spring. It was hard work, I went to bed sore and exhausted both Sat and Sun night. Loved every minute of it.


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## ScottUK

Minnewaska said:


> Owning your own boat is the best way to remain a competent sailor, unless you have a club available or you are a professional instructor/skipper.


I don't think this is entirely true, I know a few international racers who have never owned a boat. Though I have now owned a few boats, my education was through racing other people's boats along with deliveries and cruising. I spent a number of years doing this and spent 70-90 days out on the water annually. I think getting out on the water is the best way to remain competent regardless of owning boat


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## Lauren Schmitt

Unfortunately I do not own my own boat at the minute but charter instead when I have spare time. Would love a Beneteau some day!


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## guitarguy56

Lauren Schmitt said:


> Unfortunately I do not own my own boat at the minute but charter instead when I have spare time. Would love a Beneteau some day!


'Come sail away with me...' Styx...

'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea
'Cause I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on

I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy, some sad, I think of childhood friends
And the dreams we had, we lived happily forever, so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on

A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said
They said, "Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me
Come sail&#8230;

Honestly you can get a sailboat these days almost for nothing... the biggest issue is the cost to keep one in the water, ie. slip fees, insurance, upkeep, ... you've heard this story before. 

I'm dreaming of a catamaran too... but not for long I hope.


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## Shockwave

My wife picked out the current boat and her name is on the title. She sails it, docks it, maintains it, does all rigging work at the dock or underway. She is a competent sailor, racing dinghy's and big boats and cruising since she was 5. Here she is doing rigging work on her current boat.


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## Dolfin68

Hi! I am a women and am living on a friend's boat and eventually want to buy my own boat to liveaboard. I know of a least 2 women at the Marina I am at in Redondo Beach that have their own boats and are liveaboards. 
I have a question. What do you think of me as the non-owner having to take care of the maintenance of the hull and propeller? MY friend believes it is my responsibility and I think it is his. Please I need some input. 
Thanks!


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## Minnewaska

If you're living aboard someone else boat, they pretty much get to set the deal. Your choice is to find another boat to live aboard.


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## Dolfin68

Minnewaska said:


> If you're living aboard someone else boat, they pretty much get to set the deal. Your choice is to find another boat to live aboard.


Thank you so much for replying! I really appreciate it!!


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## Scallywag2

If you rent a house you are required to cut the grass. Liveaboards equate this to cleaning the boat's bottom. I never heard of a renter having to paint the house. This might be equated to painting the hull or bottom? Maybe the owner wants you to leave.


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## deniseO30

Dolfin68 said:


> Hi! I am a women and am living on a friend's boat and eventually want to buy my own boat to liveaboard. I know of a least 2 women at the Marina I am at in Redondo Beach that have their own boats and are liveaboards.
> I have a question. What do you think of me as the non-owner having to take care of the maintenance of the hull and propeller? MY friend believes it is my responsibility and I think it is his. Please I need some input.
> Thanks!


The friend is working the double standard. you both should inventory your skill sets and gravitate to that which each of you do best. Good chance you won't be on that boat much longer. Want and need really get confused in relationships, platonic or love.


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## SloopJonB

You haven't really described your living situation very well - are you living alone, for free on the boat? Are you living on board with the owner (a couple), are you paying rent?

Those things change the dynamic a whole lot. If you are living alone and for free then I can see expecting you to do some work in return. If you are paying rent then not so much, unless it's only a token rent. If you are a couple then labour division is up to the two of you.


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## CentralPallor

I recently bought a Santana 22. You could say that I bought my own boat because I am a woman. I'm not a pushover, but I'm not exactly assertive. Sometimes when I charter boats with (mostly men) folks from my sailing club I end up with little to no helm time, and I have even had (well meaning) men pull jib sheets right out of my hands. I have had the experience of having my input ignored or dismissed, only to witness the same exact advice followed when it came five minutes later from a man with even less sailing experience than I have. 

I know that if I were more assertive, these would not be issues. I know badass women in my club who don't have these issues. I occasionally sail with all women, and I have never felt patronized or pushed aside on those occasions. But, as most of the members of my club (and most sailors) are men, I felt that I really wasn't able to grow more confident as a sailor the way things were going. So I bought a boat that would be easy for me to single hand. The first time I docked it by myself I felt a huge rush of confidence.

I will still sail with the guys in my club because most of them are awesome people, and I have a great time whenever I'm on the water. But I really love how empowered I feel at the helm of my own little boat!


----------



## Gitana

CentralPallor, I like your post. Next time some dumb guy tries to push you aside, smile, stand tall and take a half step forward as you say " thanks, Ive got this".
Its the half step foward that gets them! Most guys are a little startled that you will rise to their challenge. 
It sounds like to me these guys might be "good" in a traditional sense but they need some retraining. 

As for your boat.....sweet!


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## deniseO30

We could start a whole "self defeating" discussion but it really comes down to knowledge. Men test.. they test everyone and everything. When you pass the "test" you will be in charge! It can take a minute or a lifetime. after the test, is the Peeing contest.. we can win at that while sitting!

Think of the retired couple out there docking or anchoring; There he is at the wheel, barking, yelling screaming .. and there she is; struggling to hear much less being physically able do the lines or heavy lifting.

We all know what works best in such a situation, but some guys just take "privilege" too far and they look like asses. Thankfully, that kind of Alpha male is no longer the "model" many men strive for.

_Hey? you did a great job docking that boat! Where's the captain? "Uh.. it's me, and it's my boat, the last guy on my boat "was" a strong swimmer!

_


----------



## Donna_F

CentralPallor said:


> I recently bought a Santana 22. You could say that I bought my own boat because I am a woman. I'm not a pushover, but I'm not exactly assertive. Sometimes when I charter boats with (mostly men) folks from my sailing club I end up with little to no helm time, and I have even had (well meaning) men pull jib sheets right out of my hands. I have had the experience of having my input ignored or dismissed, only to witness the same exact advice followed when it came five minutes later from a man with even less sailing experience than I have.


I'm sorry that's happening to you. None of that exemplifies good seamanship or sportsmanship on their part.This isn't a solution for everyone, but if it was me, I'd find another sailing club or find sailing buddies outside of a club.



CentralPallor said:


> I know that if I were more assertive, these would not be issues.


STOP blaming yourself. YOU are not the one with a problem. I'm not overly assertive. I show that I'm capable by how I handle our boat, I give presentations to the club on topics I'm comfortable with, and just when we're sitting around talking boats they can get a feel for how much I do or do not know. On the other hand, I have to admit that I never really gave much thought to what they thought of me, it just naturally evolved over time.



CentralPallor said:


> So I bought a boat that would be easy for me to single hand. The first time I docked it by myself I felt a huge rush of confidence.


Good for you! Best of luck with your sailing.


----------



## zeehag

ha ha ha there was a fella i met in mazatlan with his brand new to him boat and his mousey wife, and then their halyard were the only man made sound in the anchorage. he could not even pronounce his own boat name.
ok
so he and spousal unit went up into soc for years. 
encountered him again in barra de navidad-- i was long lining my boat from one slip , wherein i was doing some work, back into my own slip and turning boat around for work on other side. this fella decided i needed help and promptly stood on all my handling lines, got in my way and became a full on nuisance with danger inherent. he obviously had never long lined a boat before, and kept saying he will help. kept bumping into me as he wandered on my dock finger in my way under foot. i only had 28000 pounds displacement in motion via those lines--
ha h aha ha ha ha ha . help me fall into water for first time since 1955--i have NEVER done that, as i am careful and know what i am doing. 
i had to rudely dismiss his lying self -- he kept peacocking and saying how he had sailed since he was 3--ha haha i remembered his words from mazatlan some 4 yrs prior-- that boat was his first, and he just finished his asa classses.. haha ha ha ha...... and he still cannot pronounce the name of his own boat. 
i had to tell him in no uncertain terms that i do not need his assistance, as he was obviously out of his league. i think he didnt much like that. but i dont care--he is dangerous in his ignorance.
.


----------



## Donna_F

deniseO30 said:


> ...
> Think of the retired couple out there docking or anchoring; There he is at the wheel, barking, yelling screaming .. and there she is; struggling to hear much less being physically able do the lines or heavy lifting. ...


In our marina we have an older couple who are the opposite. When they round the fuel dock she stands on the bow and starts screaming for someone to help them into their slip. Then she continues to scream at her poor husband until well after the lines are secured. He pretty much ignores her and just does what he does. The first time I heard her screeching I thought maybe he was hard of hearing but I walked past him and said "Good afternoon" in a normal voice. He looked up, smiled and responded. Went back to ignoring her.

Fortunately they aren't there all that often.


----------



## zeehag

ohmy yeah i cannot count the number of screechers in an anchorage....prolly was one meself when i had a particularly hard to reach alleged crewman... more like mutineer as he could not follow instructions unless screeched to bludi hell.. gads. yup got rid of him and returned to silent mode. and the inflammation in my neck was able to be relieved. 
that sucked bad. 
never have anyone on boat who cannot or will not follow instructions as given and when given.
and then there was the one continuously placing my boat in jeopardy as i tried to turn around in tight quarters to place boat into the assigned slip--- jim of liebling saved that day and my sprit, as my alleged crew could not manage to acknowledge the request made. ok. err not so ok, but no damage ...

there is a lot to say in favor of independent maneuvering, whicjh i generally manage-- unless someone insists on helping-- vet your help well. it aint always help.


----------



## TakeFive

Donna_F said:


> In our marina we have an older couple who are the opposite. When they round the fuel dock she stands on the bow and starts screaming for someone to help them into their slip. Then she continues to scream at her poor husband until well after the lines are secured. He pretty much ignores her and just does what he does. The first time I heard her screeching I thought maybe he was hard of hearing but I walked past him and said "Good afternoon" in a normal voice. He looked up, smiled and responded. Went back to ignoring her.
> 
> Fortunately they aren't there all that often.


We know a similar couple where we vacation on Lake Wallenpaupack. His solution was very simple - he bought a VERY LOUD go-fast boat. :laugh


----------



## gamayun

CentralPallor said:


> I recently bought a Santana 22. You could say that I bought my own boat because I am a woman. I'm not a pushover, but I'm not exactly assertive. Sometimes when I charter boats with (mostly men) folks from my sailing club I end up with little to no helm time, and I have even had (well meaning) men pull jib sheets right out of my hands. I have had the experience of having my input ignored or dismissed, only to witness the same exact advice followed when it came five minutes later from a man with even less sailing experience than I have.
> 
> I know that if I were more assertive, these would not be issues. I know badass women in my club who don't have these issues. I occasionally sail with all women, and I have never felt patronized or pushed aside on those occasions. But, as most of the members of my club (and most sailors) are men, I felt that I really wasn't able to grow more confident as a sailor the way things were going. So I bought a boat that would be easy for me to single hand. The first time I docked it by myself I felt a huge rush of confidence.
> 
> I will still sail with the guys in my club because most of them are awesome people, and I have a great time whenever I'm on the water. But I really love how empowered I feel at the helm of my own little boat!


Welcome to SN, CP! There's nothing better to boost the confidence than helming your own boat! Are you racing the Santana, too? You're in a competitive group and should have a lot of fun with it. Also, check out Island Yacht Club's upcoming Women's Sailing Seminar the end of September. It's all about women sailors teaching other women. They're recruiting instructors (on the water, too) and your skills could really pay it forward 

Carliane
s/v Kynntana


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## StillSalty

Good question and I have to say that I don't meet many female sailors. Although, I do meet more female Captains than I used to now. I've had my captain's license since I was 20 and I'm 37 now. My dad insisted :ship-captain:

I think it was the independence that attracted me to sailing. I used to own a fishing boat that was 3x's as much in cost. Once I met my boyfriend and he had a sailboat, I was hooked. Of course I'm competitive and very assertive, I grew up with 4 older brothers that also were Salty. So, in my house I was always told things that ended in "because you're a girl!". 

Anyway, nice to meet everyone and hope I see some of you around!


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## Rhapsody-NS27

StillSalty said:


> Good question and I have to say that I don't meet many female sailors. Although, I do meet more female Captains than I used to now. I've had my captain's license since I was 20 and I'm 37 now. My dad insisted :ship-captain:
> 
> I think it was the independence that attracted me to sailing. I used to own a fishing boat that was 3x's as much in cost. Once I met my boyfriend and he had a sailboat, I was hooked. Of course I'm competitive and very assertive, I grew up with 4 older brothers that also were Salty. So, in my house I was always told things that ended in "because you're a girl!".
> 
> Anyway, nice to meet everyone and hope I see some of you around!


Welcome to Sailnet. Always good to see more sailors here.


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## midwesterner

I don't presently on a boat and I'm not a woman but I hope to change both of those things next spring. ?


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## midwesterner

I don't own a boat and I'm not a woman but I hope to change both of those next spring. ?


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## T37Chef

Financed for the first 5 years... been paid for for 7... all mine 

I guess I should have read the thread title more closely lol


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## midwesterner

CentralPallor said:


> .... Sometimes when I charter boats with (mostly men) folks from my sailing club I end up with little to no helm time, and I have even had (well meaning) men pull jib sheets right out of my hands.
> 
> I will still sail with the guys in my club because most of them are awesome people, and I have a great time whenever I'm on the water. But I really love how empowered I feel at the helm of my own little boat!


We guys do that overbearing "big brother/daddy" stuff naturally without even thinking about it. It's pretty automatic for most of us. I am a professional educator and instructor and I have often slipped and done it myself and I hate that I do that. Being more assertive would definitely help because many of us do it thinking that we are being caretaking or helpful, or we aren't aware that we're doing it.

It has helped me when I have had women point it out to me. Some have said, "Thanks for your help but I'm a hands-on learner and I need to do this myself to gain the experience." When you don't assert your self, even otherwise well-meaning men will assume that you want them to take over. Sometimes we need to be gently smacked down.

It might also help to enlist a sympathetic ally. Pick one of the more supportive guys and share your desire to get more hands on experience. He can get control of the helm and then announce, "Hey Sarah, would you like to take the helm for awhile, you've had the least amount of time of any of us?"

Some of us just need it pointed out to us.


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## StillSalty

midwesterner said:


> I don't own a boat and I'm not a woman but I hope to change both of those next spring. ?


This made me have a giggle-fit. Thanks!


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## StillSalty

Rhapsody-NS27 said:


> Welcome to Sailnet. Always good to see more sailors here.


Thank you! I appreciate it!


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## deniseO30

Welcome aboard StillSalty!


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## SFHilary

I own one after years of dreaming.


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## gamayun

SFHilary said:


> I own one after years of dreaming.


Welcome to SN, SF! Tell us more about the boat


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## StillSalty

30' Catalina - Sloop

I have a guy that surfs at the break on my beach that just started school in Broward for marine mechanics. Him and I got to talking (because I'm chatty and will start conversations with my shadow). He was working down in the key as a Cptn. when he decided it was time to finish up in school. ^5 for education!

A couple of days later I see him again and he brings up that he's got this boat for sale down in Marathon. He wanted to see if I knew anyone that would want to buy it (maybe $$ for books...j/k) So I'm going down next weekend to have a looksy. 

It's weird, I've spoken to his mother and father and they've tried to add m on facebook already...we just spoke 3 days ago!

Color me stoked.

XOXO

:ship-captain:


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## VickiLee

I wish to own one.


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## Minnewaska

VickiLee said:


> I wish to own one.


Then you should! Are you shopping? I suppose Omaha isn't a well known sailing capital.


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## VickiLee

Yes, Omaha isn't a well known sailing capital.


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## SailorMaggie

I do but just a day sailer. Its my first sailboat. It is a Balboa 20' 1971 with a cuddy. I purchased it last year and gutted it and refitted and designed a new interior myself. Before this I built my own tiny house on wheels and built my own stitch and glue kayak. I have more tools than most men and am very capable. Always wanted a sailboat. Now I finally have one. This year I'll be sailing it in New York state on the lakes. Already thinking about my next sailboat and my dream of Island hopping in the Caribbean. Not getting married again. So I'll have my own boats till I die.


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## SailorMaggie

You can. There are websites that actually advertise free boats. I don't know if I can tell you where they are but look up free sailboats and there are websites that have them. Also on eBay under boat angel. They go for a steal. Granted they require potentially a lot of work but I believe in you. You can do it. Take the bull by the horns and make your dream happen. Even if your not a do it yourself person you can read and become one. I am a 45 year old woman and last year I built a lift for my boat and dropped a 450 lb swing keel to refinish it. I learned how to do it online. Even large sailboats can go for free. If you have the time and energy you can save them. You have to make sure you can get them in a marina where you can do the work yourself. That will save you loads of money. Also get them in a marina that doesn't cost too much. Luckily I bought a trailerable boat and brought it home in my yard so I had no marina expenses. Those are the least expensive. I would recommend a smaller one if you don't have experience sailing or much money. 
Send me a line if you want to talk more.


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## Markwesti

Can I change the question a bit to how many do I know ? One is Ms.westi , she had a Catalina 22 when we first met in the early 80s' . Then there was a lady that was our boat neighbors sister , lets just say she had some disposable income she would buy a boat she liked and then in about half a year get something else . It was great entertainment , she even bought her bro a Catalina 34 to live on . Another lady I know has owned and lived on a 41 Freeport Islander for at least the 15 yrs. I have known her , she is also the bartender at Seal Beach YC . When we were in SBYC there were several women that owned there own . As of now I know a few that own there own our neighbor (we just met her , we are getting moved around because of the re build of the marina ) anyhow she owns a 40' CHB trawler , she does all the varnish work herself . Some others are couples , one couple started out with a Vintage 60s' Cal that was single handed to Hawaii and back by another women . They just recently bought a Catalina/Morgan 315 . And then there are their friends that own a Catalina 32 .


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## Gail Peterson

Hi there. I am in the process of buying my boat. Needed something that was easy to single-hand that was very capable of coastal cruising and perhaps a little friendly racing. I was happy to find a very nice Bristol 28 that just needs a little TLC to get her back in the water. She's the boat in my avatar.

I an hoping to connect with other lady sailors to share experience and camaraderie.


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## midwesterner

Congratulations Gail. Enjoy that boat. All the reviews I've read are good.


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## gamayun

Welcome, Gail! All the best on your new purchase. A while back the commodore of the San Francisco Bay Singlehanded Sailing Society was communicating with some folks in the Chesapeake region about them starting a singlehanded group. We're primarily a racing bunch, which is what I think the Chesapeake group was interested in, as well, so that might be great for you, too, but I hope it doesn't dissuade others who might not be so interested in racing. Perhaps you'll find, as I did, that having a friendly venue and a reason to get out there is so much fun, but there is also the collective experience and knowledge that provides huge benefits. Good luck! Hope to hear more


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## Rhapsody-NS27

Welcome Gail.
Congrats on your boat. Those are good ones. hope she does well for you.


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## Gail Peterson

Thank you, Daniel. There's so little that has been written about this model as only 30 were built, but the few reviews I have read have been favorable. 

It is so very good to have a boat again. Lost my Alberg 30 ten years ago in a messy divorce... I can hardly wait to get back to sailing. It's the best therapy I know of and the best sleep I have ever gotten has been aboard a boat...


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## Gail Peterson

gamayun said:


> Welcome, Gail! All the best on your new purchase. A while back the commodore of the San Francisco Bay Singlehanded Sailing Society was communicating with some folks in the Chesapeake region about them starting a singlehanded group. We're primarily a racing bunch, which is what I think the Chesapeake group was interested in, as well, so that might be great for you, too, but I hope it doesn't dissuade others who might not be so interested in racing. Perhaps you'll find, as I did, that having a friendly venue and a reason to get out there is so much fun, but there is also the collective experience and knowledge that provides huge benefits. Good luck! Hope to hear more)


That's great to know and a super resource. I've been off the water for quite a while now so will need a little practice, but would really like trying this out (especially if they a white sail class for very slow boats..haha!)

How does one go about getting their official PHRF rating? The Sail Area/Disp ratio that is noted for this boat is less than what mine would be because my B28 has a small bowsprit and roller. Not sure if it was a factory modification or something done by a previous owner.


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## Donna_F

Gail Peterson said:


> Hi there. ...
> 
> I an hoping to connect with other lady sailors to share experience and camaraderie.


We're few and far between here, but we are here! Welcome. You'll find that a lot of the guys post over here as well.

Best of luck with the new boat and your sailing goals. This site has a lot of information and friendly people. I hope you stay and enjoy.


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## miatapaul

Gail Peterson said:


> That's great to know and a super resource. I've been off the water for quite a while now so will need a little practice, but would really like trying this out (especially if they a white sail class for very slow boats..haha!)
> 
> How does one go about getting their official PHRF rating? The Sail Area/Disp ratio that is noted for this boat is less than what mine would be because my B28 has a small bowsprit and roller. Not sure if it was a factory modification or something done by a previous owner.


PHRF should be around 189 according to the New England PHRF ratings. PHRF New England - Handicapping - Base Handicaps

Bristol makes a tough boat. Is this the one? They say only 8 were made. There was a 27.7 as well and a 29.9.

BRISTOL 28 sailboat specifications and details on sailboatdata.com


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## Gail Peterson

miatapaul said:


> PHRF should be around 189 according to the New England PHRF ratings.
> 
> Bristol makes a tough boat. Is this the one? They say only 8 were made. There was a 27.7 as well and a 29.9.


You're right; the New England PHRF actually had the B28 listed. I'm surprised she's rated at 189, I was expecting something in the low 200s....

Yes, that's the one. But their number built and years of manufacture are incorrect as I have hull #18 that was built in 1975.

Also, please forgive my typos in earlier posts--I have a new kitten who loves to "help" every time I am on the computer and I don't always catch his changes.


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## gamayun

Gail Peterson said:


> That's great to know and a super resource. I've been off the water for quite a while now so will need a little practice, but would really like trying this out (especially if they a white sail class for very slow boats..haha!)
> 
> How does one go about getting their official PHRF rating? The Sail Area/Disp ratio that is noted for this boat is less than what mine would be because my B28 has a small bowsprit and roller. Not sure if it was a factory modification or something done by a previous owner.


For the San Francisco Bay area races, we use the Yacht Racing Association. You most likely have a similar group in your area. Just ask around. You will give them the displacement, sail dimensions, and other info, which they will use as a formula to compute the PHRF. I don't have any firsthand knowledge of how the different regions establish these values, and though much of it is based on boat parameters, it is not a set number that translates the same to each region. I hear that if they haven't already issued a PHRF for your type of boat, then they are likely to guess at it until you have raced a bit and can show that you should rate higher (preferably).

I will keep an eye out for your posts. I'm one of those females who sails/races solo on her own boat, so I'm excited to welcome another to our ranks!

Carliane (s/v Kynntana)


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## Gail Peterson

gamayun said:


> For the San Francisco Bay area races, we use the Yacht Racing Association. You most likely have a similar group in your area. Just ask around. You will give them the displacement, sail dimensions, and other info, which they will use as a formula to compute the PHRF. I don't have any firsthand knowledge of how the different regions establish these values, and though much of it is based on boat parameters, it is not a set number that translates the same to each region. I hear that if they haven't already issued a PHRF for your type of boat, then they are likely to guess at it until you have raced a bit and can show that you should rate higher (preferably).
> 
> I will keep an eye out for your posts. I'm one of those females who sails/races solo on her own boat, so I'm excited to welcome another to our ranks!
> 
> Carliane (s/v Kynntana)


Yes, New England has the B28 rated as 189. I was pleasantly surprised to discover it was not higher.

Wow, you single hand race your Freedom? That's impressive and encouraging. In time I can become confident rounding the buoys solo. I will keep an eye on your posts also to learn how to set the boat up for efficient sailing. Thanks.


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## Gail Peterson

Rhapsody-NS27 said:


> Welcome Gail.
> Congrats on your boat. Those are good ones. hope she does well for you.


Thank you!! I am so looking forward to getting her in the water!!


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## skipper27

Joining this thread late, but I'll chuck my 2 cents in.

I'm in the market for my first 100% self-financed, self-insured, self-everything boat (looking at a '79 Ericson 35 MKII). That being said, even in my previous boat owning experiences, I was the more experienced and more 'hands-on' of the couple. The bit that ticks me off is when we (my ex bf and I) would pull into a harbor, another cruiser would come over and immediately start talking to him about the passage and the intricacies of our boat, without so much as a glance at me...little did they know that my ex had no idea how to sail, and I, 'the woman' on board, was the licensed captain. Ugh.

I'd love to see more ladies out there not only taking full ownership of boats, but being active in the sailing community and really making a strong presence. I hope to be joining the ranks of owners this summer (i.e. people who buy a hole in the water into which they throw money) and I can't wait 

Sail on, ladies. Sail on.


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## Rhapsody-NS27

good luck skipper27,

Welcome to the group.


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## skipper27

Cheers Rhapsody!


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## midwesterner

skipper27 said:


> Joining this thread late, but I'll chuck my 2 cents in.
> 
> The bit that ticks me off is when we (my ex bf and I) would pull into a harbor, another cruiser would come over and immediately start talking to him about the passage and the intricacies of our boat, without so much as a glance at me...little did they know that my ex had no idea how to sail, and I, 'the woman' on board, was the licensed captain. Ugh.
> 
> Sail on, ladies. Sail on.


I saw that in action when I took my week long Cruise and Learn charter and course. Our live aboard instructor was a petite woman who was a couple of decades younger than me. When we stopped in a marina, she had me take the helm to get the boat handling and docking experience. She stood near me and gave me quiet instruction so it wasn't obvious that I was newbie.

Guys who came on the dock to catch our lines would ask me how I wanted to be tied off. The first couple of times she hesitated to speak. I guess, as a Canadian, she had heard that some American men have fragile egos and she didn't want to embarrass me. The first time I just said, "I don't know. I'm a student sailor. This the first time I've ever docked a sailboat. You'll have to ask my sailing instructor here." She seemed amused by the looks on guys' faces. It happened the whole week.

It happens the other way around as well. I was a stay at home dad with our kids, when they were little and I am the cook in our house. After 29 years of marriage, we still get friends who occasionally forget and compliment my wife on dinner. She will say, "Oh, thank him. He did all the cooking."

When I used to take my kids to the park with all the moms, when my kids get hurt and come to me crying, there would occasionally be a woman who would step in their path and swoop them up to comfort them. I encountered occasional women who would come over and offer to take my child from my arms to take care of them. It happened the most with my daughter. There seemed to be something about some of the women that they felt that a girl really needed comforting from a mom and not a dad.

I frequently had women say, "Oh, that's nice that you help your wife by taking the kids." I'd say, "Actually I have them all day everyday. She helps me taking them on Saturdays."

Funny world.


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## skipper27

midwesterner said:


> Funny world.


Whew yeah I hear you! Thanks for being a stand-up guy - i.e. an overall good person who doesn't give a hoot about the stereotypical gender roles. Hopefully someday it won't be strange to see stay-at-home dads and lady captains!


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## gamayun

Awesome perspective, Midwesterner! Assumptions about gender/culture/ethnicity/religion/whatever drive me crazy, but it's hard not to either fall into the same mindset or to feel oft put by them when affected directly. A smile and gentle correction usually set most people straight  Women who handle their boats are, as a whole, breaking gender norms, which is a good thing for everyone, especially the younger people who are just forming their own mindsets.


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## RegisteredUser

skipper27 said:


> .....The bit that ticks me off is when we (my ex bf and I) would pull into a harbor, another cruiser would come over and immediately start talking to him ......


Did that surprise you?
Did you find it unusual?


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## MikeOReilly

Good examples of how sexism swings both ways midwesterner. Men are as pigeon-holed as women in our “pink” and “blue” roles. Each generation is making progress to get away from these stereotypes, but it will take many more before all assumptions are erased.

My partner and I are equals on board. We both do pretty much everything. Underway we purposely exchange roles every day to make sure we’re both competent at everything. That’s not to say we are equally skilled at everything. I’m better working the sails and rigging, she is better on the helm and navigating. I’m a better electrician. She’s better at engine/transmission maintenance. We argue about who’s the better cook . 

The point is, we have no “blue” and “pink” roles — never have. So it’s frustrating when we get chatting, usually with some old boys, and they direct all their questions to me. My partner is too gracious (and too Canadian) to overtly intervene, but she and I usually make the point that we are co-captains on our little ship.


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## TakeFive

My wife and I did ASA 105/106 training in the Caribbean last March. Our goal was to become more equal partners in sailing, with her gaining more confidence and enough skills to come back and retrieve me if I fall overboard (if she chooses to  ). We shared the boat with an instructor and two other male students whom we had never met before. They were all wonderful people, we got along great, and we were great friends by the end of the week. But it definitely took awhile for them to overcome their biases against her. Comments like "you don't have to take the test if you're too intimidated" were well-intentioned, but clearly sexist and demeaning. By the end of the week she had won them over. Not sure exactly when it happened, but maybe her getting over 95% on the written tests (and them barely scraping by) was a turning point.

She should have gotten more respect from the very beginning, but the good news is that guys can be won over. They're just a little slow sometimes.


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## midwesterner

On the first night of our Cruise and Learn Charter, my instructor had me anchor in a bay on Gambier Island near Camp Artaban to work on anchor handling skills. On the afternoon of the second day we sailed to Plumper Cove Provincial Park on Keats Island to spend the night on one of the mooring balls there. She arranged for us to arrive early enough in the afternoon to allow me some additional practice of my docking skills using the slips at the public docks there. 

It was good practice because there was a bit of cross current and wind. It was a weekday so there was only one other boat at the docks. My instructor let me come in to dock and depart as many times as I wanted to get the feel of it, and from different approaches. 

At one point we took a break to use the bathroom on shore and some old guy came over and started offering advice to my instructor on better ways to instruct me to approach the dock. Here she was, a licensed captain and certified instructor, in the middle of an instructional session, and he was trying to tell her how she should teach. I seriously doubt that he would have done that with a male instructor. 

She was very polite. It annoyed me more because he was interrupting my lesson time. His advice wasn't bad, it was just one of those cases of, of the 10 different ways to approach a dock, he was sure that his way was the best.


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## Donna_F

skipper27 said:


> ...
> 
> I'd love to see more ladies out there not only taking full ownership of boats, but being active in the sailing community and really making a strong presence. I hope to be joining the ranks of owners this summer (i.e. people who buy a hole in the water into which they throw money) and I can't wait
> 
> Sail on, ladies. Sail on.


I've met more than a few females on the Chesapeake who started out singlehanding on their own 30'+ boats and added the men later. Or didn't bother with the men and just sailed on. Most recently a 70-ish YO had purchased her Bene 33 with her husband, who then died, and she decided to keep the boat and sail it herself. She welcomes crew for the company but if no one is around, she takes it out on her own.

Except for one who I met face to face through SN, the others I met through sailing clubs. I didn't get the feeling they were interested in "making a strong presence" beyond doing their thing on their boats. The first women I met had purchased Catalina 30s like we have and being singlehanders was secondary to wanting to share their insights about the boat itself.

Good luck with your own goals!!


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## StillSalty

I very recently have had the JOY of being labeled "Whore" in a local marina I'm in currently, and by a dude I was "dating". This all centered around me being able to utilize being friendly and in a community where no one actually DOES anything but live on their boats. I have no problem asking questions, doing the work, using the information super-highway, and getting %$^* done! 

Of course, since I have boobs, got things done and wasn't relying on "him", this lead to the OBVIOUS conclusion that I MUST be sleeping with everyone in order to have been able to accomplish anything...since I'm a female.

Lame.


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## Minnewaska

There is nothing more irrational, emotional and incendiary than a domestic dispute. Both genders are known to say pretty stupid things.


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## emcentar

Catching up on some older threads after being away for a while. After four years of owning our boat, we still get stares when other boats pass us in the channel. Not hostile, but just puzzled, looking for where the guys on the boat might be hiding (are they down below, getting beers?). Then again, in four years of sailing out of Deale, I haven't ever seen another all female crewed sailboat either. Here's hoping that changes, 'cause sailing is awesome.


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## midwesterner

emcentar said:


> Catching up on some older threads after being away for a while. After four years of owning our boat, we still get stares when other boats pass us in the channel. Not hostile, but just puzzled, looking for where the guys on the boat might be hiding (are they down below, getting beers?). Then again, in four years of sailing out of Deale, I haven't ever seen another all female crewed sailboat either. Here's hoping that changes, 'cause sailing is awesome.


If you'd ever want a cabin boy to fetch the drinks,...I have a good repertoire of cocktails I know how to make, and I can cook in return for sailing time. ?


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## svHyLyte

Minnewaska said:


> There is nothing more irrational, emotional and incendiary than a domestic dispute. Both genders are known to say pretty stupid things.


Minnewaska--

If your comment is in response to StillSalty's preceding post, I submit that if her (hopefully) ex-boyfriend spoke to her in such a manner she should have pitched him out on his butt and will have nothing more to do with him. I don't give a shoot how "heated" a discussion might get, there are things/actions that one does not say/take with another and particularly not with someone that one supposedly has had feelings for. Frankly, if any man spoke in such a manner to my daughter and I caught him at it, his next move would be French Kissing a Louisville Slugger.

FWIW...


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## Minnewaska

5 months ago? I don't think I'm going to go back and try to figure out what it was in response to. However, domestic disputes are far more emotional and nuanced than your absolute rules would ever limit. Glad to hear you'll defend your daughters dignity, if as you say, you caught it. However, what happens in private between couples can be extremely incendiary. I'm sure my point was that both genders are known to inflame these disputes. I assume if you caught a woman speaking that way to your son, you would react the same.


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## nautidawg

I do. Large power boat yrs ago. Now another power boat and looking at #3 sailboat. Father was a captain and rebuilt boats (both power and sail) and chartered in France in the 50's-60's. Then he became chef on some yachts lol...


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## Donna_F

emcentar said:


> Catching up on some older threads after being away for a while. After four years of owning our boat, we still get stares when other boats pass us in the channel. Not hostile, but just puzzled, looking for where the guys on the boat might be hiding (are they down below, getting beers?). Then again, in four years of sailing out of Deale, I haven't ever seen another all female crewed sailboat either. Here's hoping that changes, 'cause sailing is awesome.


There's an all-female crew on one of the boats in my club. And, as has been discussed in this forum as non-existent, they are all females of color. After he died, another woman in the same club decided to singlehand the 38-foot sailboat she and her husband bought.


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## boatpoker

In 23 yrs of cruising I've known about 15 women who owned their own boats.

My wife owns her own boat and sometimes she lets me drive


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## gamayun

Just thought it would be interesting to post this registration page about one of our upcoming singlehand races in the San Francisco Bay area, called the Vallejo 1-2, that has 35 boats registered, of which, five are skippered (and owned by) females. Given that some people have only met a few women who've owned their boats, it's fun to highlight out how many women sailors we have here. It's kinda the norm, actually.


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## Heller Gregory

I'm in the SF Bay Area & own my own 38' boat.


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## gamayun

Heller Gregory said:


> I'm in the SF Bay Area & own my own 38' boat.


Awesome! Another woman sailboat owner on SF Bay  What kind of boat do you have? Where are you berthed? I'm in Oakland tucked in behind Coast Guard Island.


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## Heller Gregory

I'm @ Emery Cove, it's a 2001 Beneteau 381. For some reason I didn't notice this was a 33 page thread & I went to the first ten or so pages. To qualify, yes, I am a woman & I'm m'd. My h doesn't sail, he's trying since I got the boat. I went through OCSC & got BBC certified, I negotiated a price & it took me 7 mos to get the boat & I've either done the repairs or hired someone for upgrades so damn it...it's MY BOAT!! I did have an incident where the cap to the holding tank needed replacing & I finally hired someone to do it that kept pushing the repair date out. I told my h to deal & w/ one phone call from him, it was done the next day? Frustrating!

I'm also a private pilot, I'm kind of used to being the only woman in the room. So much so that I don't really even notice it or think about it. 

I just joined BYC, membership hasn't kicked in yet.


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## gamayun

Heller Gregory, you're going to have good company at BYC as well as around the Berkeley Marina where I know of other women boat owners, some of whom are married, but their hubbies do not sail either. You might want to ask about the BYC chowder series for low key racing. It's a good way to learn a lot about your boat, the bay, the intricacies of racing, and the fun sailors who are out on the water all the time. I do a lot of racing (solo and doublehand), multi-day cruising, and day sailing. I'm also a liveaboard and do much of my own work on the boat so please let me know if I can ever be of some assistance!

Carliane
s/v Kynntana


----------



## Melekahea808

Just bought my first today. 43' Columbia. I am female.


----------



## SailingKnottyGurl

my daughter owns her own weekender and her BF is a wee bit jealous too lol


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## Melekahea808

Made an offer on a 43 ft. Columbia 2 weeks ago which was accepted today. I am female.:cut_out_animated_em:cut_out_animated_em


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## Dolfin68

That's awesome!!!


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## Dolfin68

Melekahea808 said:


> Made an offer on a 43 ft. Columbia 2 weeks ago which was accepted today. I am female.:cut_out_animated_em:cut_out_animated_em


Yay! Congratulations!!! 
Where is the boat?


----------



## Melekahea808

She is in Key West FL., we both survived Irma, she needed a new steward, I needed a boat I could live on and sail.


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## Ajax_MD

Melekahea808 said:


> Just bought my first today. 43' Columbia. I am female.


Congratulations.

I started out with a Coronado 25. Coronado was eventually absorbed by Columbia. The 43 is an interesting design with a large, flush deck and only a small coach roof. Does the boat have deck prisms to allow light belowdecks? Do you have an Atomic 4 or a diesel engine?


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## InDiscovery

Donna_F said:


> There's an all-female crew on one of the boats in my club. And, as has been discussed in this forum as non-existent, they are all females of color.


I am a woman of color and only know of one other who sails in my area. We have not actually met but people in the club have mistaken us for each other. 
My "new to me" boat is a 16.5 foot sail boat. My goal is to graduate to a 30-34 ft for day sails and overnights on the Intercoastal.


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## gamayun

Welcome to both Melekahea808 and InDiscovery!! Can't wait to see posts about your new adventures. It's great to hear from more women sailors on the forum


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## InDiscovery

I will be posting shortly about my first solo sail...not sure where to put it though.


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## johnny buddha

Melekahea808 said:


> Made an offer on a 43 ft. Columbia 2 weeks ago which was accepted today. I am female.:cut_out_animated_em:cut_out_animated_em


Congratulations and welcome!

My wife, @punahougirl84, grew up racing on her dad's Columbia 43.


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## punahougirl84

Melekahea808 said:


> Made an offer on a 43 ft. Columbia 2 weeks ago which was accepted today. I am female.:cut_out_animated_em:cut_out_animated_em


Congratulations! The Columbia 43 is an awesome boat. Ours, Encore, was a racing version but still plenty comfortable to stay on - we'd practically live on her during the summer. I miss her a lot.


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## RobGallagher

InDiscovery said:


> I am a woman of color and only know of one other who sails in my area. We have not actually met but people in the club have mistaken us for each other.
> My "new to me" boat is a 16.5 foot sail boat. My goal is to graduate to a 30-34 ft for day sails and overnights on the Intercoastal.


Holy Unicorn Batman. Post a picture so I can prove to my significant other that you are real!

(edit: My reply reads a little odd, let me clarify, my significant other is African, we sail in New England, she's one of a kind  )


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## jblumhorst

I own a Corsair F24 trimaran, an Ian Farrier design. My husband shares it with me, but I'm the one who maintains and repairs it.


----------



## zeehag

i donot remember updating, so here goes.
finally sold the ericson 35 in 2014, at which time, 2 unvisited counties in cali assessed me fraudulently for taxes on my in mexico formosa 41.. hooyaahh.. got out of those legally and telephonically with email confirmations, and now heading into actual repairs, not merely minor stuffies-- 
the final price i paid for this formosa was 4650 usd. wheeling and dealing actually does work. 
so we step masts within a months time. my hurricane patricia damaged mizzen is raining rotwood onto me. 
as thai cedar is absent from the availability section of acquisitions and purchases i am receiving a mast of lower quality material--aluminum. 
i know of a thai cedar mast intact, for which i will attempt to trade said inferior quality item. 
wish me luck. 
we will also address all to be repaired and changed issues, mebbe even haul out finally. mainly in spanish. hahahahaha.
if the pic shows up, it is anchored in barra de navidad lagoon before i came to mazatlan. mazatlan is a city. me no likee mucho.


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## RegisteredUser

zeehag said:


> ....a mast of lower quality material--aluminum. ....
> ....mazatlan is a city. me no likee mucho.


Yeah, gotta watch 'em, trying to slip that alum stuff in on ya...

I liked Old Maz, but the Gold was just another trap.
Liked the 'ocean pool' the locals enjoy, also the moto rider on the seafront is pretty cool.


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## gamayun

Good luck with the repairs, Zee! I feel ya


----------



## zeehag

i much prefer old harbor BUTTT..... cannot get the work done between seasons of stormage and old harbor is a suicide mission in summertime with canes and ts.... so i am stuffed into the marina area with all the gringos... hahahahaha 
we move to the dock of our dreams today.. isolated for most part, only federales and mario and a friends of his are there... so it is perfect. no extra cats, no yotties, only locals including a former cpt of port. ..hahaha and my workerbee says he can drop my mizzen there. i hope he can also take main mast... mizzen is buried 2.5 ft below deck and same above keel. main is keel stepped. once masts are off boat, the thing should pop out of water like a cork. then we can do many more in water projects, such as lower bobstay fitting!!! .sky is limit..... and money. drat forgot about that issue for a second..hahahahaha.

funny how i always WANT to sail once boat is immobilized .... really wanna get back to barra and other pueblas... i am already tired of city living


oh. marina mazatlan and the land war areas on round island were allll bought by a tomato farmer so it is all his. marina now has a beach club private.. with ocean kind of pool... and foods, is only 2.2 km from marina itself. also has a golf course now. err country club hahahahaha. i think tomato farmer not stoopit. he did a good thing for the sleepy old failing marina. bathrooms are repaired, lots of changes and laundry room is under repairs hahahahaha still--has been 10 yrs.. they getting new machines.. we watching and waiting. i am tired of hand washing like a bloody cruiser hahahahaha truth is i wont have the drying room without the two masts..


----------



## skipmac

jblumhorst said:


> I own a Corsair F24 trimaran, an Ian Farrier design. My husband shares it with me, but I'm the one who maintains and repairs it.


Really? If your husband gets too uppity just dump him and I'll marry you and promise to do at least 50% of all the maintenance and repair work.

Oh wait, I'm already married.

Never mind.

But would love it if you could teach my wife how to do some of the maintenance and repair jobs on my boat.

:smile


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## Don L

skipmac said:


> But would love it if you could teach my wife how to do some of the maintenance and repair jobs on my boat.
> 
> :smile


Why would that be needed? Doesn't all it needs is some sunscreen as it sits around?


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## midwesterner

Don0190 said:


> Why would that be needed? Doesn't all it needs is some sunscreen as it sits around?


"It"? What "it" are you referring to?


----------



## skipmac

Don0190 said:


> Why would that be needed? Doesn't all it needs is some sunscreen as it sits around?


Oh sure. That and an occasional "love your gelcoat, it makes you look so young."


----------



## Don L

midwesterner said:


> "It"? What "it" are you referring to?


Skip knows :captain:


----------



## InDiscovery

RobGallagher said:


> Holy Unicorn Batman. Post a picture so I can prove to my significant other that you are real!
> 
> (edit: My reply reads a little odd, let me clarify, my significant other is African, we sail in New England, she's one of a kind  )


Here you go. This was taken in the Bahamas.


----------



## SteffS

I'm not sure how active this thread is, but here goes...

I own my own sailboat. I bought it last July. I am in a relationship but do not live with my BF. He did not contribute to the purchase but is willing to fish off of her. I am the one who took sailing lessons. I am the one who dreamt of sailing as a teen, sold my first tiny sailboat as a new mom, returned to dinghy sailing later with my youngest when he was a teen, and then finally jumped in to owning a weekender, a 1974 Cal 3-30. I haven't single-handed because I was worried about docking. But, I'm getting to the point where even that won't stop me. 

I have experienced some odd looks when I'm by myself on my boat at the dock. But, the odd looks give way to positive comments. I'm glad to be a part of pushing this envelope.


----------



## Ajax_MD

SteffS said:


> I'm not sure how active this thread is, but here goes...
> 
> I own my own sailboat. I bought it last July. I am in a relationship but do not live with my BF. He did not contribute to the purchase but is willing to fish off of her. I am the one who took sailing lessons. I am the one who dreamt of sailing as a teen, sold my first tiny sailboat as a new mom, returned to dinghy sailing later with my youngest when he was a teen, and then finally jumped in to owning a weekender, a 1974 Cal 3-30. I haven't single-handed because I was worried about docking. But, I'm getting to the point where even that won't stop me.
> 
> I have experienced some odd looks when I'm by myself on my boat at the dock. But, the odd looks give way to positive comments. I'm glad to be a part of pushing this envelope.


I've recently discovered a very good Facebook page for singlehanders. There are several female solo sailors on the site and they are definitely out there "doing it." You might find it to be a useful resource: https://www.facebook.com/groups/singlehandedsailing/


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## MarkofSeaLife

SteffS said:


> . I haven't single-handed because I was worried about docking. But, I'm getting to the point where even that won't stop me.


Dont let it stop you. 
A couple of crashes and then you'll sort it out. I found the trick was to try to keep the crashes predictable and minimal... Then fender for it.

☺��☺


----------



## SteffS

Thanks for the link to the FB group! I'll definitely check it out.


----------



## SteffS

MarkofSeaLife said:


> Dont let it stop you.
> A couple of crashes and then you'll sort it out. I found the trick was to try to keep the crashes predictable and minimal... Then fender for it.
> 
> ☺��☺


My docking skills are getting much better. I like the idea of fendering for the predictable. Docking on Prez weekend was a little less predictable, as we had lost reverse because of a transmission cable issue. A little baling wire, and we came in reeeally slowly. Didn't even bounce! :devil


----------



## MarkofSeaLife

SteffS said:


> we came in reeeally slowly.


All my docking is reeeally slow.
No one has ever been able to justify to me why they need to come in fast. 
Mostly high speed docking is just bravado.

Have fun.


----------



## SanderO

MarkofSeaLife said:


> All my docking is reeeally slow.
> No one has ever been able to justify to me why they need to come in fast.
> Mostly high speed docking is just bravado.
> 
> Have fun.


A skilled sailor has the boat come to with almost no way on at all...


----------



## miatapaul

MarkofSeaLife said:


> All my docking is reeeally slow.
> No one has ever been able to justify to me why they need to come in fast.
> Mostly high speed docking is just bravado.
> 
> Have fun.


Only enough speed to maintain steerage. Can vary depending on the boat but the saying is never approach the dock faster than you are willing to hit it! I have approached too slow and ended up sideways, embarrassed but nothing damaged!

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk


----------



## Mysticwind1

I just coast into my slip slow and easy. Taking the wind into consideration may have to give a little quick boost with motor momentarily but that usually takes me in. Don't let docking hinder you. Just do it, that is the way to learn and build confidence.


----------



## SanderO

Mysticwind1 said:


> I just coast into my slip slow and easy. Taking the wind into consideration may have to give a little quick boost with motor momentarily but that usually takes me in. Don't let docking hinder you. Just do it, that is the way to learn and build confidence.


Easier said than done for some circumstances.

I used to in water winter store at a yard which has rather swift cross currents to the slips. SO even in no wind you could have a tide setting you onto the adjacent boat or the finger (piling at the end)

If you had a deep draft you had to avoid low and slack... and perhaps even if mid time had enough draft (deep keels might settle into mud a low)... tide runs fastest at mid tide... so the weakest currents are or close to high tide. This becomes a restriction on when you can come and go from those slips.

Next add the wind. Prevailing wind.. was usually not aligned with current direction. If there was a lot of wind and even at slack tide you could be set onto the adjacent boat, the finger pier... and at some variable angle.

Of course no wind... high tide you can go straight in or out and slowly with full steering control.

If the slip is in wind sheltered area and little tide running it is much less problematic and challenges the skipper's boat handling skill much less.

I avoid at all cost any docking situation in high winds. Not always possible.. but I know that Shiva has a lot of windage and responds accorfingly.


----------



## TakeFive

When you have a 2 kt current pushing you into the slip, you have no choice but to come in hot:


----------



## SteffS

I definitely don't do high speed docking. I'm always as slow as I can be given the wind and currents. This time, I was even slower, barely moving, only enough speed to maintain steerage.


----------



## Keona Fonteyn

I am about to own a sailboat. I will be buying one soon!


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## Lonestaralaskan

I won't be a sole owner, but I'm pushing my husband to buy a boat in 3 years. We are looking at 42-45 ft boats that we can live on with our two little ones after they are both potty trained. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to sail solo though. Kudos to you all.


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## SanderO

Lonestaralaskan said:


> I won't be a sole owner, but I'm pushing my husband to buy a boat in 3 years. We are looking at 42-45 ft boats that we can live on with our two little ones after they are both potty trained. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to sail solo though. Kudos to you all.


You will need to handle the boat as if your husband is "not there".. such as he's in the head or you are on passage and he is "off watch"... or attending to the children. Obviously when a situation calls for both on deck and working together... he'll will be there. Over time both of you will be able to single hand.

A boat of 40' and up with 3 cabins makes sense... Remember the longer the LOA the more costly EVERYTHING about the boat is... rigging, hardware, sails, maintenance such as painting, waxing and varnishing.

Larger boats seem to offer 2 heads which is really unnecessary for your family or even most "crews". People do fine with apartments with one bathroom... why have 2 on a small yacht? If your has 2 you can re purpose one.. into a wet locker or hanging locker... or small workshop... or even just a comfy shower removing that function from the main head.

It's not length as much as what the accommodation plan IS, who large the cockpit is... how much locker or stowage the boat has... even tankage is to be considered. And don't forget engine access...

++++

As far as docking goes... you WILL need to have the skills to come along side at a fuel dock. Using a slip is something that you likely will not do when you sail off the grid. You'' need ANCHORING skills because you will spend almost every night on the hook. There are a few marinas but the cost of them will be prohibitive for long term cruising.

As you get proficient at handling your boat you will be able to get in and out of a slip... but the question is... WHY do sailors want to "live" like that between 2 boats 6 feet away?

Good luck!


----------



## hpeer

2 heads, port and starboard, are nice. It is always good to let some things flow downhill. You know “pissing up a rope” and all that.


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## jblumhorst

Lonestaralaskan said:


> I won't be a sole owner, but I'm pushing my husband to buy a boat in 3 years. We are looking at 42-45 ft boats that we can live on with our two little ones after they are both potty trained. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to sail solo though. Kudos to you all.


Welcome aboard. It's always nice to hear from another woman who is enthusiastic about buying a boat.

As for sailing "solo", I personally prefer having crew with me when I sail. You will have family with you and you can rotate through all the jobs you have to do on the Boat.

Judy


----------



## Lonestaralaskan

SanderO said:


> You will need to handle the boat as if your husband is "not there".. such as he's in the head or you are on passage and he is "off watch"... or attending to the children. Obviously when a situation calls for both on deck and working together... he'll will be there. Over time both of you will be able to single hand.
> 
> A boat of 40' and up with 3 cabins makes sense... Remember the longer the LOA the more costly EVERYTHING about the boat is... rigging, hardware, sails, maintenance such as painting, waxing and varnishing.
> 
> Larger boats seem to offer 2 heads which is really unnecessary for your family or even most "crews". People do fine with apartments with one bathroom... why have 2 on a small yacht? If your has 2 you can re purpose one.. into a wet locker or hanging locker... or small workshop... or even just a comfy shower removing that function from the main head.
> 
> It's not length as much as what the accommodation plan IS, who large the cockpit is... how much locker or stowage the boat has... even tankage is to be considered. And don't forget engine access...
> 
> ++++
> 
> As far as docking goes... you WILL need to have the skills to come along side at a fuel dock. Using a slip is something that you likely will not do when you sail off the grid. You'' need ANCHORING skills because you will spend almost every night on the hook. There are a few marinas but the cost of them will be prohibitive for long term cruising.
> 
> As you get proficient at handling your boat you will be able to get in and out of a slip... but the question is... WHY do sailors want to "live" like that between 2 boats 6 feet away?
> 
> Good luck!


I fully intend on having boat handling skills AT LEAST as good as my husband's. No competition or anything.  
Yes, anchoring will be a biggie. I've read enough horror stories of dragging anchor and hitting other boats or running aground while sleeping. We will practice until we are anchoring pros.

The two heads is a waste of space in my opinion - just extra to clean. I'd rather have storage. But its hard to find a boat with exactly what we want. I'm sure there will be compromises.


----------



## SanderO

Lonestaralaskan said:


> I fully intend on having boat handling skills AT LEAST as good as my husband's. No competition or anything.
> Yes, anchoring will be a biggie. I've read enough horror stories of dragging anchor and hitting other boats or running aground while sleeping. We will practice until we are anchoring pros.
> 
> The two heads is a waste of space in my opinion - just extra to clean. I'd rather have storage. But its hard to find a boat with exactly what we want. I'm sure there will be compromises.


I would be pleased to share my anchoring technique which is VERY reliable... for all the bottoms I have anchored it. Southern NE and the Caribbean. It's not difficult to learn or do. Here goes:

Use all chain (200' is likely enough for anchoring in water 5:1 up to 40" or storms in shallower depths_

Have a stout stubber. I use 1" braid (3/4" may do) on braid nylon w/ with a reef hook at the chain side... it has a lobster float and is 40' long. If it comes off the chain and the cleat (never has) it can be retrieved because the float.

Insert a heavy duty mooring compensator about 4 to 5 feet aft/behind the chain hook. Use min 2 turns of the nyl9on braid. THIS MOORING COMPENSATOR is KEY to this technique

The snubber can be led over the bow roller... to a cleat... lift the chain off the bow roller once the snubber is carrying the load... reverse to weight anchor

Use a good vertical windlass... mount so the pull to the roller is on CL of the boat. The windlass should drop the chain into a deck accessible chain locker. You want a windlass with up and down and foot switch near the bow and remote in the cockpit is very handy at times.

Mark the chain at 25' intervals... USE easy to see COLORED line. I use light weight dacron braid (amazon) Chain is marked as follows

50' - two greens line (foot apart) 
75' - one green, one yellow line 
100' - two yellow lines 
125' - one yellow and one red
150' - two red lines

I usually have no less than 100' down... in 20' is 5:1 scope

The "yellow" range is most visible at night and the most common set.

Lay the chain down when boat has stopped moving forward. This is where you want your anchor to be. Gauge about 100 feet to windward or to where the current is setting you. That is where you will sit. If there is wind use the FOOT switch to let the chain down at the boat is pushed to leeward. If the bow is pushed to one side... do not worry. Wind will push boat to windward as you lay out the chain. When you see the marker of the amount of chain you want down (proper for depth/scope need)... stop and watch to see if the boat straightens out...pointing to windward or to where current is from. BOW MUST move to point toward where the anchor was dropped. When the anchor sets the chain will stiffen depending on how strong the wind / current is.

It MAY not be set yet.

Next tie off the snubber to a bow cleat... hook the reef or chain hook to the chain just forward of the windlass. Hold the snubber so the chain hook does no slip off... and release more chain. This will pull the snubber with it. Let out enough so the snubber hook is several feet below the water.

Now tie off the snubber line. Let out more chain so the snubber is taught.

You can tell if the anchor is set when and if the MOORING COMPENSATOR untwists a bit. This tells you that there is tension as the chain has dug in. If there is no untwisting you are not necessary set... light air.

You will have to back down with the motor in light air or current until you OBSERVE the mooring compensator untwist a bit. If it doesn't untwist... you are dragging and not set.

When the compensator tells you the anchor is set... You are done. You MUST recheck...

Periodically check to see the compensator is untwisting... It will as wind pipes up then slack back and untwist again. If the compensator is not untwisting and then twisting back... you are not set and likely dragging.

Simple and reliable. Fair and not chafe for the snubber possible. 4 years every night on the hook and dragged a bit in a lousy bottom one time. I reset.


----------



## Lonestaralaskan

SanderO said:


> I would be pleased to share my anchoring technique which is VERY reliable... for all the bottoms I have anchored it. Southern NE and the Caribbean. It's not difficult to learn or do. Here goes:
> 
> Simple and reliable. Fair and not chafe for the snubber possible. 4 years every night on the hook and dragged a bit in a lousy bottom one time. I reset.


Thank you for the detailed explanation! I pasted it into my growing collection of important sailing notes.


----------



## svHyLyte

Lonestaralaskan said:


> ...
> 
> The two heads is a waste of space in my opinion....


Rubbish!!! Evidently you haven't sailed with a Lady. When a Lady needs to "go"; she REALLY needs to go and she can't be tottering around while "His Majesty" finishes his "affairs'. Moreover, in the event one's primary head malfunctions, having a functional "backup" is very wise.... BTDT!!! Happy Wife; Happy Life!

FWIW... ;-)


----------



## MikeOReilly

svHyLyte said:


> Rubbish!!! Evidently you haven't sailed with a Lady. When a Lady needs to "go"; she REALLY needs to go and she can't be tottering around while "His Majesty" finishes his "affairs'. Moreover, in the event one's primary head malfunctions, having a functional "backup" is very wise.... BTDT!!! Happy Wife; Happy Life!


To quote you: "rubbish!!!" Maybe this applies to the women you sail with, but it's not a general fact. The female cruisers I know do not fit your stereotypical characterization.

Having a backup head is fine, but on a smallish sailboat it is a huge space that could probably be better used for other purposes. But there is no universal right answer, and certainly not one driven by "Ladies."


----------



## Donna_F

I’m not even sure where to go from here. Two men arguing over a woman’s pee needs. Oy.

I sailed 1500 miles across the Atlantic with one head, me, and three men. We seemed to do OK. None of their “affairs” put me out. I would say that the advantage of two heads is that the aft head can be used for wet foul weather gear storage. More people, more space needed. In bad weather we pretty much had the shower stuffed to the top with wet gear. An aft head means you can come down the companionway, throw your wet stuff in and not trail water through the rest of the boat to get to a head near the bow.


----------



## SanderO

It's absurd to think that a few people on a small boat can't wait a few moments to use the head. Big yachts have an "en suite head" for cabins.... bit on most boats under 50' I would say it's a waste of space that will be re-purposed for a wet locker or storage... or a work shop.

Who needs more thru hulls and seacocks and plumbing????

Sure there will be those who want 2 heads in a 3 cabin boat... irrational but who cares.


----------



## Donna_F

I’m not sure that I’d call it irrational. We chartered a 43 footer with two heads. I put my 83 YO mother in the bow cabin and it enabled her to completely have her own space while the “kids” used the other head. For a ten day charter it kept everyone sane. It wasn’t extra effort to go up and make sure her seacocks were closed after returning from playing farther out. I think if I anticipated having to do so much maintenance that it became annoying, I’d look at what I was doing wrong.

Still, everyone has their own reasons for stuff on their own boat.


----------



## SanderO

Donna_F said:


> I'm not sure that I'd call it irrational. We chartered a 43 footer with two heads. I put my 83 YO mother in the bow cabin and it enabled her to completely have her own space while the "kids" used the other head. For a ten day charter it kept everyone sane. It wasn't extra effort to go up and make sure her seacocks were closed after returning from playing farther out. I think if I anticipated having to do so much maintenance that it became annoying, I'd look at what I was doing wrong.
> 
> Still, everyone has their own reasons for stuff on their own boat.


Yes... and this is a fairly unusual situation.


----------



## MikeOReilly

Some _people_, be they "ladies" or "gentlemen" or something in-between (these days, you never know ) might like or need multiple heads on a small cruising boat. Others do not. There is no One Truth for everyone.

Share your experience. Even offer your opinion. But have the basic awareness and humility to know your perspective may not apply to everyone.


----------



## jblumhorst

SanderO said:


> It's absurd to think that a few people on a small boat can't wait a few moments to use the head. Big yachts have an "en suite head" for cabins.... bit on most boats under 50' I would say it's a waste of space that will be re-purposed for a wet locker or storage... or a work shop.
> 
> Who needs more thru hulls and seacocks and plumbing????
> 
> Sure there will be those who want 2 heads in a 3 cabin boat... irrational but who cares.


Imagine one person with diarrhea and one person with constipation sharing one head... add a couple of kids with unpredictable bowels habits... Sounds like a bad situation to me.


----------



## RegisteredUser

B is for...Bucket.


----------



## kusuri

I'm a woman and I own my own sailboat. I bought it with two other people (two guys), but I was the one who found the boat, got it surveyed, and pushed forward the purchase. So there's one more of us!


----------



## svHyLyte

MikeOReilly said:


> To quote you: "rubbish!!!" Maybe this applies to the women you sail with, but it's not a general fact. The female cruisers I know do not fit your stereotypical characterization.
> 
> Having a backup head is fine, but on a smallish sailboat it is a huge space that could probably be better used for other purposes. But there is no universal right answer, and certainly not one driven by "Ladies."


Actually Mike, I agree with you. However, that sentiment is one expressed by my wife when she bought our current yacht (see my prior post on this thread, #17 on the first page) and since seconded by numerous other wives/girl friends at our club when the subject has come up for discussion. I finally conceded the point tho' our aft head often devolves to being naught save a "wet locker" during snotty weather on our travels.


----------



## deniseO30

OMG I happened upon a real whizzing contest! lol


----------



## MikeOReilly

deniseO30 said:


> OMG I happened upon a real whizzing contest! lol


Rubbish!!! The "Ladies" I know would call it a "tinkling" contest. :grin.


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## deniseO30

Well, there is rubbish of the generic kind... ,and then there is male rubbish which Imo is unsolicited advice that all men must give no matter what, they, just have to, they just can't help it, 

Ladies, just give him the wheel and megaphone and he'll and he'll be happy to rest of his life! 

I p freely Belle a le tinkle


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## MikeOReilly

deniseO30 said:


> Well, there is rubbish of the generic kind... ,and then there is male rubbish which Imo is unsolicited advice that all men must give no matter what, they, just have to, they just can't help it,
> 
> Ladies, just give him the wheel and megaphone and he'll and he'll be happy to rest of his life!
> 
> I p freely Belle a le tinkle


Denise, I'm going to assume there was a big :smile or :grin missing in there somewhere. Otherwise, your comment is as sexist as svHyLyte's was.


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## deniseO30




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## Rhumbline01

I am one and have owned my boat (44' Cheoy Lee) for over 20 years as the primary owner.
Currently in San Carlos, MX and I have met several women over the years that have owned their own boats. I am not typically a 'joiner' so am sure Pam Walls' information is schewed as there are others like me. There is a woman here that just pulled in who has a PDQ 36' (Cat), and is a single sailor.
Good luck with buying your boat. Go for it!


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## Lydia Johnson

I finally bought my first boat this year. It’s a 79 Chrysler C 22. It’s my starter cruiser, my practice for getting back to the blue.


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## wnuttall

I do.


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## deniseO30

I had an Oday 30 close to 10 years, 
Before that I had a hunter 23 for about 11 months, because it was so small, I sold it. if I hadn't gotten old so quickly OR the years haven't gone by so fast. The plan, was to have a 38 to 42 foot boat for myself. The dream is still there, the energy is gone


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## Me and Boo

I own:
1984 Catalina 30 trbs
1983 Stamas 26 sport fisher
1983 Ocean Yachts 46 Sunliner
along with a RIB and Tender.
I own a fleet.


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## Minnewaska

Me and Boo said:


> I own a fleet.


Shhhhhhh. That can and will be held against you at a mental competency hearing. :grin


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## RegisteredUser

Minnewaska said:


> Shhhhhhh. That can and will be held against you at a mental competency hearing. :grin


She didnt list the men she owned or could own...
Gotta love it


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## Donna_F

Me and Boo said:


> I own:
> 1984 Catalina 30 trbs
> 1983 Stamas 26 sport fisher
> 1983 Ocean Yachts 46 Sunliner
> along with a RIB and Tender.
> I own a fleet.


Clearly I have much catching up to do!


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## svmariah

I do! 
Just curious, as a first timer looking at this group: why are so many men responding to a question addressed to women on "herSailnet?"


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## Minnewaska

svmariah said:


> I do!
> Just curious, as a first timer looking at this group: why are so many men responding to a question addressed to women on "herSailnet?"


Because the answer to equality is not segregation, let alone the propensity for reverse discrimination that is often posted on this subforum. :wink

Get along while we can
Always give love the upper hand
Paint a wall, learn to dance
Call your mom, buy a boat
Drink a beer, sing a song
Make a friend, can't we all get along


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## svmariah

Sure, but, if someone asked "how many men here own their own boat?" why would I, a woman, feel the need to reply? 

No need to answer, really. I can already see this is not the forum for me. Peace out.


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## Minnewaska

svmariah said:


> Sure, but, if someone asked "how many men here own their own boat?" why would I, a woman, feel the need to reply?
> 
> No need to answer, really. I can already see this is not the forum for me. Peace out.


I hope you stay and enjoy our common interest. I don't think any fellas replied that they owned a boat. They joined the discussion tangentially, which is how all these conversations develop. It's all good, everyone are frineds here, let's talk boats......


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## deniseO30

Male privilege... Because they can they do...

https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/02/160-examples-of-male-privilege/


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## boatpoker

because we are asexual ?


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## Minnewaska

Broad dispersions cast against an entire gender. Ironic, isn’t it.


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## chef2sail

svmariah said:


> Sure, but, if someone asked "how many men here own their own boat?" why would I, a woman, feel the need to reply?
> 
> No need to answer, really. I can already see this is not the forum for me. Peace out.


I hope you stay active and contribute to the discussions. Diversity is a strength of SailNet.

We don't restrict any of the threads even though their titles may be specific. 
For instance the Chesapeake threads , the largest one, boaters from all over the country post in it.

Boat knowledge and questions knows no boundaries of sex, age, orientation, religion, sexual preference, etc. I have found this site to be progressive and open minded.

We all learn from each other.

Segregating a particular section goes against the openness I believe in and become another form of discrimintion.

Welcome aboard?


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## paulinnanaimo

Not quite. I once posted on the Chesapeake thread. It was winter and I casually mentioned that we had enjoyed a nice sail that day. I was lambasted for 'rubbing in the fact that I went sailing in winter', in Canada. Still read it but haven't contributed since.


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## skipmac

svmariah said:


> Sure, but, if someone asked "how many men here own their own boat?" why would I, a woman, feel the need to reply?
> 
> No need to answer, really. I can already see this is not the forum for me. Peace out.


Very sorry to hear you feel this way. As others have said, it's all about openess and inclusion, not exclusion of anyone on any thread for any reason.

Surely you might want to comment on a thread that asked men about their boats. For example, if a man posted he owned an S&S 38 and you were really interested in that particular model would you not post on a "man's thread" to ask about the boat, how he liked it, how it sailed or whatever?

Please do stick around. This forum is truly not anti woman in any way but it is the internet and people do tend to post when, where and what they like.


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## zeehag

so much divisiveness so little learning and playing time....


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## RegisteredUser

Keep trigger on safety.
Net surfing with it on full-auto = unhappiness


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## zeehag

facing this lifestyle as a genderless sexless manner of living actually works.. hahahahahahhaha
we all need to get along


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## Klazien1711

Hi, the first "big thing" i bought was a Kelt 8 on the lake of Neuchatel in Switzerland. The seccond boat I bought together with my husband. Its a Wauquiez Centurion 40, based in Italy.


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