# singlehanding



## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I am interested in hearing of the experiences of people who have set out cruising alone, or who have met those who sail alone. In particular I am curious as to whether these individuals tend to be loners, or whether they are welcomed by the cruising community as opposed to being viewed as antisocial weirdos. My perception of cruising is one of a close knit, friendly community, and I wonder if the experience is still enjoyable, even if solo.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

I have sailed 300 miles and mostly single-handed (Florida, Exumas, CUBA, Abaco) I have only ever met brilliant sailors. In 22 months I only ever had to lock my boat whilst in Nassau Harbour!!. I have also met many lone sailors - both men and girls who are always made welcome and in any of the cases the ''Cruisers Net'' on VHF ch68 at 8.15 is proof they are all welcome


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Hello I went now three times over the atlantic and arround south america singlehanded. I think I''ve seen a lot on the trip. 
Singlehanding is a lone thing on the water, but for me it stops when I enter a harbour or a ancorage. Then a lot depends on how you behave towards the other people. But is it allways in live. Never mind, how others see you, the more you are in with yourself the better you fit in with others!


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## adamgrabowski (Apr 28, 2001)

Try reading Robin Lee Gram''s (spelling ?) 
"Dove", or Tania Abie''s "Maiden Voyage".
Both a little sappy, but they will give you a good idea of first time singlehanding.


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## svdragonseeker (May 7, 2001)

I have lived aboard for about 10 year now and have been singlehanding all that time. I just got back form 2.5 years in the Caribean and had a great time. Most all of the people were just wonderful to me and took me at face value.
I do beleive that in order to be alone you have to like yourself and not need to be around others to feel like a person. 
I have never been around a better group of people than the sailing community. There is always a firm basis upon which to start a conversation. It has been great for me.
SV


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## wherever (May 7, 2001)

I live and travel alone aboard my boat and find that because I am alone I am often even more likely to be welcomed into many communitys that I visit.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Well, I have to say this thread is good news to me. I plan to cruise in my "next life" and frankly, finding a suitable partner seems a long shot. It isn''t just a matter of convincing someone to go, cruising takes much skill and a great deal of mutual trust. If I cast off lines on my own at least, as one of you wrote, I''m only alone during the passage! 

--Mike


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## OziDude (Dec 20, 2009)

What a great thread. Im working towards being a liveaboard and will do all my sailing single handed. 

The people in my life are far from happy with my choice to liveaboard and refuse to accompany me. Im ok with this as its a dream that I have had for about 30 years and have put it on hold for others.

I enjoy my own company and as long as I can meet people from time to time Im ok with it.

Im looking forward to this next stage of my life and will live it to the fullest.

Shane


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## imagine2frolic (Aug 7, 2008)

Shane,

New people will come into your life, and you will share a common denominator with them, SAILING!.Just curious here. What's your age?..........*i2f*


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## wind_magic (Jun 6, 2006)

Welcome Ozi, great to have you here!


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## OziDude (Dec 20, 2009)

imagine2frolic said:


> Shane,
> 
> New people will come into your life, and you will share a common denominator with them, SAILING!.Just curious here. What's your age?..........*i2f*


i2f,

I guess on the outside Im 49 years old  on the inside considerably younger

I look forward to meeting others on my journey that share the same interests and are heading in the same direction.

Shane


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Sailing solo is by far better than sailing with someone you do not know for long or worst you do not trust enough. Sailing solo will provide for sure an enjoyable journey to you while saling with someone you do not trust or know well will tend to turn your voyage into a nightmare. I am not talking a small trip for a day or 2 but really sailing for thousand of miles.

Being in a friendly community does not mean to me that anyone is welcome on board. There is plenty of people ready to be your friend when you are travelling. Only a few are well prepared mentally and physicaly to make a journey on open waters. Choice is vital for both your life and your boat.

There is nothing wrong by sailing solo.

Sailing solo is a choice since your life has not crossed your perfect partner life. When this happen, you are not sailing solo anymore.


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## aerie (Jul 14, 2000)

Aupiipii said:


> Sailing solo is a choice since your life has not crossed your perfect partner life. When this happen, you are not sailing solo anymore.


I started out sailing solo but soon crossed paths with a man who is as passionate about sailing and living aboard as I am. I have ended relationships in the past because the guy didn't "get it." I always had the feeling that the cruising partner I was seeking was already "out there" living the life, and so he was. Don't give up, get out there and live the life you are dreaming. Be open to possibilities and embrace opportunities. I ran into friends that were on the same cruising schedule as I was, and joined thier "flotilla" for instant camaraderie. Sailing solo doesn't have to mean you are alone.


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## Volkhard (Feb 19, 2006)

First of all : Happy new year to you all.
It is very interesting an encouraging that not a single negative voice came up in this threat. You all are describing the hopes I have for myself when I will start my cruisng live in 18 month, most likely as a solo cruiser (what's the odds?). 
I have felt always welcomed and accepted by other sailors and I am sure this experience will continue when I cast off my lines. There is a whole planet out there ( okay let_ reduce that to the tropical and subtropical regions of the oceans) and for what I have heard, the cruising family is a friendly and strong base, welcoming other cruisers from many other walks of life. In addition to this net the are different cultures to discover.
I believe there might even be an adventage for the singlehander. While couples can retrive into their cocoon of being with them selves, isn't the soloist almost forced to seek out contacts with other cruisers and locals just out of neccesity?

I remember when we immigrated to the USA about 15 years ago from Europe (with very basic skills in the English language) and my now Ex-wife always ask me to answer the door, the phone, negotiate what ever needs to negotiated. She forced me to immerse myself into a new inviroment out of neccesity and today I am grateful for it. I expect my carrier as a fulltime solo sailor to give me similar experiences and I am looking forward to land at "new to me" foreign shores on my journeys.

While I don't can talk out of my own experiences I would say go for it and embrace it.
One day I might see you out there..


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## SimonV (Jul 6, 2006)

Having done a single handed crossing from SF to OZ in 08, I can say there is something special about doing it alone. Two things I remember vividly are the feeling of satisfaction and most importantly the lack of stress. When any decision you make only effects you and as I tend to agree with myself most of the time there should be no arguments or descent, it took me a week or more to shake out the third reef. I found when entering an anchorage, word was already out that I was single handing and was always made welcome by other cruisers who would always offer help and advice when needed and I had dinner invitations most nights. To this date the friends I made are still friends and regularly communicate no matter where in the world. 

Would I do it single handed again....yes in a heartbeat. 
Would I do it again this time with my girlfriend....yes in a heartbeat, a sunset is only a sunset, a landfall is only a landfall if there is no one to share it with.


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## PCP (Dec 1, 2004)

svdragonseeker said:


> I do beleive that in order to be alone you have to like yourself and not need to be around others to feel like a person.
> SV


Some people always need to have friends around. If you can't stand to be alone (reading, thinking, enjoying the nature and the wonderful thing that is to be truly alive) forget about solo sailing.

But if you don´t mind to be alone, many times it is better to sail solo, for all the family. I explain: I am a lucky guy, my wife loves cruising, but for her cruising is enjoying live in a boat, anchoring in beautiful coves, sunbathing after diving on cristal clear waters, having a nice meal, some hours of slow sailing and so on.

She really does not like the kind of sailing I love most, I mean when the boat goes like a locomotive, blowing the waves apart and you need to be at the wheel to have things under control. For that you need a lot of wind and often some considerable sized waves. But if I have others on board that are not enjoying the ride I fell guilty about it. My pleasure is their misery. It is very unpleasant when you are having all the fun and all the others are seasick or frighten. It spoils your fun and make the others fell really bad.

So, when I sail for a distant cruising ground (over 800 miles) I prefer to send my wife on an airplane. That way I can fully enjoy the sailing and she has nothing to complain about.

In my case, I am not talking about crossing oceans, but about coastal cruising with some 24 hour passages. Normally I stay on anchor, but about each tree days I go to a marina and have always been very well received by the sailing community, sometimes even invited to share a meal on arrival.

Dragonseeker and others more experienced sailors didn't mentioned it, but the sailing community respects experienced sailors that can manage solo a boat and that is half way to be very well welcomed.

Live the experience of entering alone a marina coming out of stiff winds, in a day nobody went out to sail and you will have a lot of sailors helping you to moor your boat, asking about your trip and wanting to share your experience.

It is a very nice feeling.

Have a nice year,

Paulo


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## WanderingStar (Nov 12, 2008)

My solo cruising has all been coastal. But I found that people welcomed me because I was singlehanding. In clubs and marinas people were interested in what I was doing, and were kind. I also got invited aboard, or ashore.


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## orthomartin (Oct 21, 2006)

*singlehanding issue*

Ok, this will surely ruffle some feathers but I take one issue with the concept. First I have done it, two, I don't anymore. My issue is the watch keeping. In days past the number of cruising boats was small, now there are thousands and with the advent of GPS the routes are narrow and much more traffic on each route. In fairly high seas (4-5m) about 600nm ESE of Norfold Va I encountered a double ender (approx 30ft) with no one on watch. We missed by about 0.1nm as due to hard rain and large seas I missed it on the radar and did not see her until the last moment. I slowed and followed for about 2 hours as radio attempts failed and I was not sure if there was a problem. Finally a bearded guy from below surfaced, saw me, picked up a handheld and advised me he was "solo" and sleeping the past 3 hours. Had he or a crew been on watch it would have at least doubled our chances of one of us seeing the other.
Point is it seems a bit wrong that a captain basically is saying "screw you, I am not looking for you so it is all up to you to miss me". One may argue the "odds" are low but if say a light switch had a 1:1000 chance of killing you if you switch it on would you? So not only is it a COREG violation but is just dangerous to others. I love sailing and the concept, the peace, the adventure, the solitude, but "times are a changin" and there are a lot of us out there on your route


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## wind_magic (Jun 6, 2006)

I think it just depends where you are. Yes, if you're coming into a bay or harbor, keep a watch, and keep a watch anytime you "should". But if you're in the middle of the south Pacific and you aren't in a shipping lane, I mean c'mon, if you hit somebody out there and they hit you then it was just meant to be. You could get hit by lightning or struck by a meteor too but I wouldn't get up every 15 minutes to watch for it.


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## orthomartin (Oct 21, 2006)

watching for a meteor or lightning has nothing in common as you can not change the outcome. I was well out into the open Atlantic and had not seen another boat for over 40 hours. Perhaps the day when you are nearly sunk by someone "living their dream" at your risk will give another perspective. Not an easy answer here as I love sailing alone, simply introducing to all the fact that the solo-sailor does take some liberties with your life


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## SimonV (Jul 6, 2006)

orthomartin said:


> watching for a meteor or lightning has nothing in common as you can not change the outcome. I was well out into the open Atlantic and had not seen another boat for over 40 hours. Perhaps the day when you are nearly sunk by someone "living their dream" at your risk will give another perspective. Not an easy answer here as I love sailing alone, simply introducing to all the fact that the solo-sailor does take some liberties with your life


You may feel this way because of one solo sailor, but I and a lot of others take extra precautions, like radar with a 110 dcb alarm with proximity settings. I have sailed as skipper with 1 or 2 crew on deliveries, due to my normal modus operandi I wake on the hour and I have on more than one occasion found the person on watch fast asleep. I believe this is more dangerous than a properly prepared solo sailor.


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## orthomartin (Oct 21, 2006)

*final note*

Just to be clear, I am not opposed to the solo-sailor, I only bring up the point that there is some issue for other boats. To be fair my wife and I sail with just the two of us and on longer passages of over 500nm I often find myself in the cockpit taking those little 20min "naps" around 3am relying on the radar alarms to some degree.
So...last words are if you sail alone please take as many precautions as feasible and respect that your fellow cruisers are out there. I would also go as far as to say if solo is your only option by all means go. Like few places in life we are a "family" out there!


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