# exploring islands



## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

hey all, im planning on going on an overnighter with some friends to a nearby island. im wondering, after anchroing near the island, how can i reach the island itself?


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Good opportunity to find out if your friends are really your friends...

If they let you use the dinghy...they're your friends....if they left you to swimm...don't go with them next time....

Good ways to get from A boat to B island:

1) swim
2) dinghy
3) Ground boat on island
4) Open propane wait 15 minutes, light matches
5) use halyard and mast as bow and arch
6) Use elastics and make a catapult


Avoid:

Pole vault
walking on water


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

lol thanks!!


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Tell me where you want to go....I'll send my moorey booguey board taxi.....

$5.00 round trip....snaks included


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

I prefer the walking on water...but most people just can't do it...  

Flying is also good...and precludes having to get wet...which can lead to an uncomfortable evening ashore. However, most boats don't have space for a helipad. 

Grounding the boat on the island isn't a bad idea...but if the island has a rocky coast, it usually means finding a different way back to the mainland. 

The propane bit is noisy, and sometimes, you fly off the boat and end up in deeper water, rather than getting to the island. Also, this method, like grounding the boat, may require you to find alternate transportation back to the mainland.

Swimming is a good option provided there isn't a strong undertow, a sewage treatment plant nearby or a native population of hungry, toothy fish in the water surrounding the island. 

Using the stern arch as the basis for an elastic slingshot isn't bad, provided your crew is willing to haul you forward and let you go. This works best if you are a wombat. Note: see wombatpault...

The halyard and mast option only works if you have a very good backstay adjuster and a fractional rig.


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

Properly executed this system with modifications can work. It uses all natural materials and could well solve your problem. Yes there were some teething problems but faint heart ne'er won fair marsupial.

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save Wayne," Bruce told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Bunyip Bay Hospital. Bruce and his homosexual partner, Blinky Bill, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. 

"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped , Wayne, our wombat, in," he explained. "As usual, BB shouted out 'Fosters,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Wayne but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next.
"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Blinky's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Bruce's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the Wayne's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Blinky's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the marsupial out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."
Brucei suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the wombat, while Blinky suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. 
Sadly, Wayne the Wombat did not survive the incident. 

It's sad to lose a cousin in such circumstances but it was in the interest of scientific research

ps - As SD has said walking on water s an option but you do need the right parents.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

TDW...You are one sick Wombat!! <g>

Golding....Ain't you glad you asked??<g><g> The answer to your question is in here somewhere!


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

TDW 
Was PITA contacted about this?


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

I wish I had gotten to this question sooner, but you have already gotten some very good advice. I'm just glad to see that you thought of this *before* you left on a cruise.

If it were me, I would probably swim. How warm is the water?


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

sailortjk1 said:


> I wish I had gotten to this question sooner, but you have already gotten some very good advice. I'm just glad to see that you thought of this *before* you left on a cruise.
> 
> If it were me, I would probably swim. How warm is the water?


Please...don't be shy....develop....develop...the poster needs ideas.....imagination....work....please..don't let this interesting thread die...


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

Wait I got it.

Use a breeches bouy.

First you neeed a Lyle Gun and some line, and a mortor shell.
Fire a shot to a tree and secure the line between your mast and a tree on shore. Than you simply shuffel back and forth to the boat in the breeches bouy as required.

see the link attached for more information.

http://www.uslife-savingservice.org/PPT/USLSS1_files/frame.htm


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## TrueBlue (Oct 11, 2004)

goldingds,

Not very imaginative, but if you're interested in more pragmatic suggestions, inflatable kayaks come with compact air pumps, can compress to backpack size and are very efficient for short trips.


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I think some of the above ideas have merit, but wanted to try and help with the free-flow of ideas. 

1. You could use the main halyard and just swing across ala Tarzan style.
2. After making sure the sidedeck is clear, position yourself right near the stern. Have your friend motor at full power (Giv'er everything she's got Scotty), just before you reach the spot where the boat runs aground you start running forward (again at full speed), as you pass the shrouds yell out "NOW!" whence your friend puts the boat in neutral and slams on the brakes!!!! As you reach the bow pulpit, jump. Next thing you know, you are ashore. Repeat process for rest of crew.

3. (I like this one best) Let your friends go ashore, by whatever means they prearranged, tell them you will be along shortly. At this point you need to try and look busy. When they are well away from the boat and near shore, you slip the anchor and leave!!!!!! (Think Pirate!!) You become an instant legend, a boat owner, can change your name to something cool like "Golding Beard", and are rid of those dumb a#$ friends finally!


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

You can also stand on the edge of the boat....put your hands up high and yell....GOD MAKE THE SEAS OPEN.....but you need a LOT of faith....

Records show that a certain guy named Moises, did this trick a few years beack....so I was told....


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

Perhaps you could have your friends careen the boat while you are ate the masthead, then just step off???


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## Freesail99 (Feb 13, 2006)

Not sure how that rumor got started, but MOISES was a submarine captain ...


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

T34C-

A couple of problems with your second idea... boats have no brakes, and a five ton keelboat is only going to stop quickly when it goes aground...which solves the getting ashore part of the problem, but has other issues.

The last one is funny, but evil... and would need careful consideration of possible retaliation tactics by the stranded friends and their families...


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

Well Mr SD...once again you have contradicted yourself...

a while ago you posted photos of your boom brake.....sooooo what is it now???

do they or do not have brakes????    

Want me to dig that evidence?????


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

sailingdog said:


> T34C-
> 
> A couple of problems with your second idea... boats have no brakes, and a five ton keelboat is only going to stop quickly when it goes aground...which solves the getting ashore part of the problem, but has other issues.
> 
> The last one is funny, but evil... and would need careful consideration of possible retaliation tactics by the stranded friends and their families...


Details my friend details.... All of these issues have solutions. If Mr. Golding wants to, I'm sure we can solve these very minor issues for him. The friend could deploy the stern anchor for example. This method could gain in popularity and become known as the "quick stop island moor"?????

Retaliation by the friends wouldn't be my big concern. (We're not even sure they know how to get off the boat!!) Retaliation by the Coast Guard may be a problem.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Giulietta said:


> Well Mr SD...once again you have contradicted yourself...
> 
> a while ago you posted photos of your boom brake.....sooooo what is it now???
> 
> ...


That was a boom brake...not a boat brake...  You can post it...but I'm not contradicting myself... you're just allowing your lousy grasp of the world's most important language get the best of you.... The boom brake does nothing to stop the boat... just the boom...


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

sailingdog said:


> That was a boom brake...not a boat brake...  You can post it...but I'm not contradicting myself... you're just allowing your lousy grasp of the world's most important language get the best of you.... The boom brake does nothing to stop the boat... just the boom...


Does you boom go sailing without your boat very often??????? Hmmmmm???


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

OK...what about asking the island to move near the boat???? surelly that would help....some time ago, there are records of a guy called Mohamed that tried to move a mountain...as I was told......


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

sailingdog said:


> That was a boom brake...not a boat brake...  You can post it...but I'm not contradicting myself... you're just allowing your lousy grasp of the world's most important language get the best of you.... The boom brake does nothing to stop the boat... just the boom...


In that case we should suggest Goldingds, to travel in SD's boom, (not his boat) and ask someone to hit the boom brake pedal real hard....that should catapult him to a more reasonable question land.  

Are we talking Chinese????


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

Giulietta said:


> Are we talking Chinese????


I hope so, I could really go for some General Tso's chicken rigt now!!!


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

T34C said:


> I hope so, I could really go for some General Tso's chicken rigt now!!!


I bet that SD's boom can also grill one BAD ASS CHICKEN


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

I don't know G- it's got that damned brake. Probably makes it stop before the chicken is done!!!


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

T34C said:


> I don't know G- it's got that damned brake. Probably makes it stop before the chicken is done!!!


Have you seen MY boom brake???? much better than SD's....  










Boom brake....ehehehehe what will they invent next???? Sailing helmets???


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

G- Since I own a "classic" yacht, I use a more clasical style boom brake.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

What shiny teeth you have T34C...


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

Did I forget to mention I work in the dental industry?


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

T34C said:


> Did I forget to mention I work in the dental industry?


really???????

what do you do??? are you the Dentist's chair or that girl in the reception taking on the appointments????


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

NO, No, no, I just try to sell them a bunch of expensive stuff they need but wish they didn't.


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

T34C said:


> NO, No, no, I just try to sell them a bunch of expensive stuff they need but wish they didn't.


I thought it was the other way around,

"I sell them stuff they really don't need but wish they did."


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## dogsailors (Jan 11, 2007)

*surf over*

paddle over on a surf board


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

dogsailors said:


> paddle over on a surf board


Hey dogsailor your still alive.

We all thought you jumped ship.


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

sailortjk1 said:


> I thought it was the other way around,
> 
> "I sell them stuff they really don't need but wish they did."


No, they can't do most of their work without it (yet), but they keep wishing they could.


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## Giulietta (Nov 14, 2006)

My aunt's teeth were fixed by T!!!


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## T34C (Sep 14, 2006)

And now she is Finnnnnnne!


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

dogsailors said:


> paddle over on a surf board


Do bull terriers like to surf??


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## goose327 (Jun 11, 2001)

sailingdog said:


> Do bull terriers like to surf??


Dumb question SD, of course they do, theyr'e genius', and their Daddy's an instructor.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Touché.... point for the bird...


goose327 said:


> Dumb question SD, of course they do, theyr'e genius', and their Daddy's an instructor.


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## MtnMike (Mar 5, 2007)

*Wombat launcher*

I'm mostly a lurker here, but as I get off the floor from laughter, I can't help but wonder why Giulietta has yet post the picture of the Wombat launcher?

On second thought perhaps we don't want to see that!


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

Mike- Be careful what you wish for, and be grateful that Giu is currently travelling and might not see your post.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Well if you are going sailing, there will obviously be beer involved. And if there are more than two people, we're talking at least 80 to 100 beer, so the solution is quite simple.

Buy cans instead of bottles, and leave the cans attached to each other with those plastic collars they come in. Buy some duct tape. Set out on your trip and drink at a standard pace. Make sure you have chili for lunch, and don't throw the empty beer cans at the powerboaters as you would normally do. Keep them on board. 

When you arrive at your anchorage, use the duct tape to seal the tops of the cans, and then duct tape the cans together to form a raft. Because of your forethought in not separating the cans from each other, you will only have to tape 1/6th as much.

When the raft is assembled launch it over the side. Then select the most powerfully flatulent member of the crew (this is why you had the chili) and place them in the water holding on to the stern of the raft, facing the bow. This person will function as your engine (think airjet). If necessary, suggests he shoves a cork in it until it's time to depart, as you don't want to waste all that raw energy.

Next, select two members of the crew who fart at a fairly similar velocity, but with less force than the fool hanging off the stern. These will function as your steering oars (unless they are real party girls in which case they might better be termed steering whores).

Finally, climb on board yourself, being careful to strap any and all remaining beer to your back (you'll need fuel to get back to the boat) and tell buddy on the arse end to let the cork fly. Maintain your curse - or course rather - through judicius emissions from either port or starboard whore - sorry oar, as required.

Enjoy !


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

MtnMike said:


> I'm mostly a lurker here, but as I get off the floor from laughter, I can't help but wonder why Giulietta has yet post the picture of the Wombat launcher?
> 
> On second thought perhaps we don't want to see that!


In one of the other threads there is a chat about not wanting to see a bears crotch. A Wombat launcher may well fall into the same category.


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## captainchetco (Mar 18, 2007)

As an experienced cruiser, I can give you one method which _always_ works. Stand at some visible point on your boat waving the universal signal...waving a bottle of Captain Morgan's. If it turns out to be empty, you will have made it at least 1/2 way to shore.


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

xort said:


> TDW
> Was PITA contacted about this?


Damn I am slow. Missed this post, my apologies if my failure to respond was interpreted as rudeness when in fact it is merely ditheriness.

However, I'm presuming PITA is an animal welfare group or perhaps merely anuses anonymous. Certainly Blinky ended up with a monumental PITA.


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## sailingdog (Mar 19, 2006)

TDW-

PITA- Pain in the A&&
PETA- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has beautiful women posing nude to protest fur and such...


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## xort (Aug 4, 2006)

Sorry but I thought PETA was People EATING Tasty Animals.
I've been called a PITA quite frequently, who knew?


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

sailingdog said:


> TDW-
> 
> PITA- Pain in the A&&
> PETA- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has beautiful women posing nude to protest fur and such...


Beaver protection ?


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## tdw (Oct 2, 2006)

xort said:


> Sorry but I thought PETA was People EATING Tasty Animals.
> I've been called a PITA quite frequently, who knew?


I think I'm a member of both !!


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