# girlfriend/wife hates sailing



## ikrieger (Sep 11, 2006)

Over the weekend I discovered my girlfriend actually doesn't like sailing. "I pray for bad weather on the weekends" were here words. 

I've tried to introduce her slowly to sailing by not going out in bad weather and keeping the trips short to about 1 hour sometimes organized around events like fireworks, or the airshow to keep it interesting. I don't ask her to go a lot, maybe 2-3 per month. We have a 2 yr. old and admittedly she has to watch her most of the time which I know is hard. So... any suggestions. 

I was thinking of making it more a date thing where we keep the kid at home and I can teach her sailing and then when we go out I can watch the our daughter while she helms. She also has a competitive nature so maybe racing on another boat with other people men/women would help her gain interest.

I grew up sailing with my family and wanted to do the same with our new family, but it seems that all may be lost. If she has anxiety about the prospect of going sailing, let alone actually sailing.


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## padean (Jul 5, 2001)

What worked for me was to get my wife involved through a series of classes through our local sailing club. Sometimes the "first mate" doesn't like sailing because they either don't understand what is happening, or don't feel involved, or both. This was the case with my wife, and it was an absolute DISASTER for me to try and teach her. Now she not only enjoys sailing on our boat, but does the club races on another boat and enjoys both. We also took a weekend course together (without kids) which gave her more confidence. Before that she hated to go out.

Alternatively, some people just don't like to sail. If that is the case, you can often allow her to have an enjoyable time doing something else, such as sun bathing, or even reading while enjoying the peace of the sailboat. Having to watch over a 2 yr old on a boat is NOT a fun thing to do for a mother, with the boat rocking and tipping, and the child wanting to do whatever seems the least save or smart.


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

I know a couple at our marina that has same sort of problem. After 3 margaretta's she loves sailing.


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## Freerider (May 1, 2008)

I like the idea of selling "the dream". Talk about chill'in on remote beaches, in remote places in the world, etc.

Then the only way to achieve this is by learning how to sail, this is a great motivator!!

Although if this isn't in your plans then it might not work so well......


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## MMR (Oct 5, 2007)

*Make it a date*

I like your "make it a date" idea. Learning to appreciate sailing is hard enough w/o adding a 2yr to the mix.

Keep it simple, make it romantic and STRESS FREE for her (take care of packing the food and drinks yourself, at least the first couple of times) and really use it as an opportunity to "court her" all over again.

THEN, if she starts to appreciate sailing, see about classes.

Slow, steady and no pressure.


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## JT1019 (Aug 14, 2006)

I was going to suggest getting a new girlfriend/wife but since you already have a 2 year-old I guess you’re stuck. Go with the wine/margarita/liquor idea…might even get lucky too!


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## Bellita (Jul 9, 2009)

Dont' do what I did:
My wife married me knowing that boating was my passion. After taking her out several times on my sailboat, she lost interest stating it took too long to get anywhere. We went out on a friends powerboat and she came alive on the water - now THAT's what she wanted! 
In a fit of stupidity, trying to believe I could get her to embrace my passion for boating in that fashion, I sold the sailboat and bought a powerboat. A year of running the boat around PR and btwn PR and USVI she now states she wishes she hadn't asked me to sell the sailboat because powerboats are "too bumpy". ARGH!!!
Enough is enough. I'm not a powerboater by heart anyway - my discovery was boating was not my passion - SAILING was my passion. I now have a powerboat for sale and have repurchased a sailboat that I will be using in the future. I also discovered my wife just isn't into boating period, but let her know she's under no pressure to go, but she's welcome to sail with me anytime.

So my two cents to you is, if sailing is your passion - don't sell the boat because she's not into it. Enjoy your passion and babysit your little one once in awhile and let her go enjoy one of hers. you'll both be happier long term... but your mileage may vary! Good luck!


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## painkiller (Dec 20, 2006)

ikrieger said:


> Over the weekend I discovered my girlfriend actually doesn't like sailing. "I pray for bad weather on the weekends" were here words.
> 
> I've tried to introduce her slowly to sailing by not going out in bad weather and keeping the trips short to about 1 hour sometimes organized around events like fireworks, or the airshow to keep it interesting. I don't ask her to go a lot, maybe 2-3 per month. We have a 2 yr. old and admittedly she has to watch her most of the time which I know is hard. So... any suggestions.
> 
> ...


If the date or margarita tricks don't work, get a smaller boat and enjoy single-handing it! 

Does she like being on the boat at anchor or in a marina? If so, you can always single-hand to a destination and have your girlfriend fly/drive there to enjoy the easy part of cruising.

One other thing you can do is motor more often. When things are boring or scary, being under power and not tipping is often reassuring to non-sailors, especially with a tippy toddler on board. Also, any anxiety you might have will be recognized and amplified by your girlfriend, so if motoring quiets things down a bit and makes your life easier, then go for it.


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## night0wl (Mar 20, 2006)

I've learned that a wife/gf's enjoyability of Sailing is directly tied to your own abilities as a skipper. For example, many weekend sailing couples face a panic situation when trying to dock..much yelling and gnashing of teeth occurs, resulting in a relationship that is bruised, as well as the occasional dinged/dented/gouged sailboat. If you're perfectly capable of doing most procedures calmly w/out drama, it may be better for her enjoyment of sailing as well.

Otherwise...well, you're pretty much going to single-hand. On the plus side, a bow thruster installed on most boats will be much less than the cost of a new powerboat. (Trust me, I've costed it out under these circumstances)


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

You have a very serious problem.What ever you do, don't try to force it on her.
That is something I would have done and it won't work.
Like Pain said, you might have to do more single-handing or find other crew.
Nothing in the agreement that I know of said you both have to like each other's hobbies. Just be supportive of each other.
Now..... man do I ever consider myself one lucky SOB.


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## smackdaddy (Aug 13, 2008)

Okay - some "sound" advice above...but I'm thinking you need the sure thing. So here's what you do my friend...

Find a 22-year-old hottie that likes liquor, boats, flossy swimstrips, and funky music. Start sailing with her every weekend. Just call her "crew". Everyone needs crew.

Suddenly, the significant O will be all over the whole sailing thing.

Next...


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## painkiller (Dec 20, 2006)

Yeah, let us know how that one ends up. I'm guessing with a paternity suit, child support and a Boat For Sale sign.


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## Boasun (Feb 10, 2007)

I had a similar problem: She didn't like my work (Merchant Mariner) She didn't like sailing and sold my Catalina 30 while I was working in the Bering Sea.
Problem solved: She is now my Ex and married to some land lubber and I don't ever have to worry about her ever trying to return.


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## nolatom (Jun 29, 2005)

Only marry someone you met sailing. Anything else is madness.


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

*girlfriend/wife hates sailing *

My wife loves sailing, my girlfriend not so much!:laugher


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## painkiller (Dec 20, 2006)

You're doing it backwards, Bubb! What do you do with your girlfriend? She clips coupons while you watch bowling on TV?


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## sailordave (Jun 26, 2001)

Sailing wilil always be there. Girlfriends/Wives will not. Keep the boat.

My guess is she just plain doesn't like water sports. My EX didn't. I don't miss her one bit. My GF otoh loves sailing, regardless of the wind/weather.


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## St Anna (Mar 15, 2003)

There are thousands of single guys in marinas who catch up every day for a drink/smoke and tell you how lucky they are. They sailed to wherever - scared the GF or wife and she gave them the ultimatum - choose the boat or me! They will tell you they made the right decision -yeah right!!

But if you have a chick who loves the life as you do, life gets good. Last week, on a delivery trip, we got hammered by a gale on the nose. It would be 48-50 hours beating & tacking forward or 10 hours if we turned around and run back to safe anchorage. I was thinking of turning and running, but my wife was tougher than me and we continued on.


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## DarkBlue (Nov 2, 2008)

Whatever you do don't let your wife watch "Killer Waves" (I believe that's the name of the documentary)

YouTube - Rogue Waves - Monster Waves - Biggest Waves Ever

I happen to get back home some days ago and there she was watching this documentary in the National Geographic Channel, her eyes petrified and telling me "so, you want to sail the oceans? Don't count on me!"

So, thank you NG Channel, now I will have to reeducate her again about the joys of sailing...


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## frank31 (Feb 19, 2005)

What worked for me was outfitting my son, self and boat so we could sail it together. Mom may or may not come around. Not to sound sexist but I don't think a man can comprehend the emotional, protection aspects of motherhood. 

Today the kids are 4 and 9 and the Admiral will join us, but sometimes she enjoys the break from the kids more. It is all good!


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## rickysail (Jul 15, 2009)

I have to agree with the romantic side of things, women adore the emotional aspect and i'm sure she would appreciate it as a romantic time for the two of you to get away together. Perhaps get some bubbly on the go and have a nice drink to lighten the air. Keep trying!


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## lapworth (Dec 19, 2008)

I hope you figure it out and let us know because I have the same problem. I gave up and sail solo or with friends.


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## camaraderie (May 22, 2002)

Get married and make sure the ceremony includes the words "love, honor and OBEY!! 
See how that works out!


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## Ilenart (Jul 23, 2007)

Some good advice (and not so good advice, but pretty funny!)

I'm having a similar issue, after a recent 800NM sail my wife hated it, the kids are indifferent and I loved it.

My solution is to go for a smaller yacht which I can single hand in the future, but is big enough to still have the whole family onboard at a pinch. That way you can go sailing anytime you like and if the missus joins you it's a bonus. At my yacht club there are a lot of passionate husband sailors with not so passionate wives who you occassionally (sometimes never) see. That way everyone is happy.

I would also try any way to assist in enouraging the missus along. Getting the 2 year old looked after while you and the missus go sailing is a good idea. I have recently added internet access to my boat so the wife can play internet games and chat with her internet mates when we are at anchor. 

Mods to the boat would also be a good idea. Ask her what you can change to make it easier for her. My wife could'nt furl the jib until I installed some turning blocks on the furler line. Now she has no problems furling.

Ilenart


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## tommays (Sep 9, 2008)

My wife of 28 years will never like sailing all that much and is more than happy with going out for 2 hours on a Friday or Saturday night 

However she could care less if i am out on the boat 4 or 5 times a week which was NOT always the case and caused a LOT of friction when the children were young


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## genieskip (Jan 1, 2008)

My wife loves to be on the boat in sheltered water and in calm and settled weather. Otherwise will have nothing to do with it. So I spend some quiet times with her on the Hudson and in Gloucester Harbor. I enjoy the quiet times and she loves to watercolor and just being on the (quiet) water. Then I get a few friends together and we go sailing. Not the best of all possible worlds, but a workable one.


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## Siamese (May 9, 2007)

If I had to bet on whether she'll ever like sailing, I'd have to put my money on NEVER. That's the reality of it. 

Truth is, most people don't like to sail. That's why powerboats outnumber sailboats a zillion to one. 

...and a lot of people don't like powerboats. 

You MIGHT turn this thing around, but don't count on it. And boy, does it ever STINK going sailing with a female that doesn't really want to be there. You spend too much time trying to make sure they're having a good time. And then nobody has a good time. Waaaay different than being out there with someone who enjoys it.

It probably comes down to what do you like more, the sailing or the two-year old. 'Course you have a responsibility to the 2yr old...none to sailing. 

Call me killjoy.


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## alwheeler98 (Oct 6, 2008)

Try it without the 2 year old on board. Still plenty of time to get the little one acclimated to sailing.

With a more of a one on one situation, maybe she'll become comfortable enough to take the helm and become a more active participant. Having a sense of control over the sailing environment may help her to enjoy it more.

If you can't help her with this without creating an anxiety-free environment (ie no yelling) though, it's going to be a problem.


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Having been through 20+ motorcycles, 2 personal aircraft and 3 sailboats, has been nice restaurants with quiet dinners & lunches.

Pick a fairly close by decent restaurant and that becomes your short sail destination. Work up from there. Years ago my wife (of 44+ years) and I covered the upper 2/3 of the Chesapeake Bay this way. Also worked with cycles & aircraft. 

From that easy start, she took to all 3 modes of travel with a passion.

Today she gets upset if we don't get out for a sail or it's too short a time out. This has worked for over 4 decades now.

Just find a way of including something in the agenda that she would really like to do. Might be a craft show in some port, or ????

Regards & good luck.

Gary


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## Valiente (Jun 16, 2006)

Boasun said:


> I had a similar problem: She didn't like my work (Merchant Mariner) She didn't like sailing and sold my Catalina 30 while I was working in the Bering Sea.
> Problem solved: She is now my Ex and married to some land lubber and I don't ever have to worry about her ever trying to return.


She SOLD YOUR BOAT? While you were WORKING TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY?   

Were it me, her ass wouldn't be in divorce court, it would be in jail, for grand theft.

*******.


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## PalmettoSailor (Mar 7, 2006)

I think alwheeler98 is on to something. I'm fortunate that my wife really enjoys being out on the water, she just has some anxiety when things approach BFS conditions. I think our two most recent sailing trips have been the best things we've done, for her comfort level. Over the 4th of July, I put her in the role of skipper during a 5 hour sail in a steady 15-20 knts. She was on the helm and I didn't do anything until she told me to. Our boat needs a reef around 18 knots or she develops a lot of weather helm, so it was a chance for her to feel what's going on at the wheel and why I've been short with her when I asked her to ease the main and she didn't react right away. If I didn't dump the main when she said "ease", she would very quickly be fighting the helm so we didn't round up. Now she knows why its important, to react when a puff is overpowering the boat and to pay attention to helmsman. When the wind built to where dumping the main was required every few minutes she told me to get a reef in. Seeing how reducing sail moved the center of effort and gave better control of the boat while still making good speed also improved her understanding of how our boat handles. 

The other thing was doing our first race together on our boat. We had one other crew along to help, but being in that close proximity to a lot of boats all going hell for leather, really focused her attention on getting the rules of the road straight in her head. I think she came away with a much better understanding that is burned into her memory and she understands why we don't change course when we're stand on, just because we're going to be close to another boat. 

My wife is a very intelligent person and excels whenever she is required to apply herself. She just wasn't picking up on the details of sailing our boat, I think mainly because I wasn't allowing her to experience why all that "sailing lingo" was important. We'll see how the rest of the season goes, but I really expect her enjoyment of sailing will be greatly increased from these experiences, which will greatly increase my ability to enjoy the boat. We need to work as a team and these past two trips really had her step up to the plate and make things so much easier for me.

One other thing we've done that doesn't really have a lot to do with skill, but makes you look a hell of lot better to those around you, is to use a set of FRS radios for anchoring and docking. For anchoring she's on the helm, so I can handle the anchor. I can tell her where we need to go, when to stop the boat and when to back down to set the anchor and she can tell me the depth to calcuate scope with zero yelling, jumping up and down or frantic hand signals. When docking, I'm usually on the helm and can easily give her guidance as needed, or remind her to put the fenders over etc again with no drama.


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## GreatWhite (Jan 30, 2007)

I have been through this and things have worked out for us.

1) go for small 'wins' with your partner- nice weather - little happy adventures with enjoyable destinations.
2) slowly get your kid into sailing
My kids 4 and 6 are finally at the stage where it is easier to sail with them (in good weather) than do almost anything else. Lots of little 'wins' got us to this point : beaches, movies down below, many good snacks, and happy dad! I just gave my wife the weekend to herself and spent 3 glorious days sailing and swimming with the kids    
3) offer to send your wife to sailing school ...this REALLY helped my wife
My wife used to say she didn't like sailing, got sick ALL the time but when I put her on the helm one day and looked back at her she looked very happy, confident and at ease... hmmm... Build on this, if she feels confident she will love it. Now days she rarely gets sea sick.

If your wife does start enjoying sailing...don't ever leave her


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## sailortjk1 (Dec 20, 2005)

Everybody has given some wonderful advise, but I have to tell you, there are some people out there that just don't get it and will never get it.

Sorry, but its true and it sounds like the OP has already been trying exactly what you have all been saying. Did you see his post....


> I've tried to introduce her slowly to sailing by not going out in bad weather and keeping the trips short to about 1 hour sometimes organized around events like fireworks, or the airshow to keep it interesting. I don't ask her to go a lot,


This might be one of the cases where the individual simply has their mind made up; no matter what you do, its not going to change. That is why I said in a previous post that the Op has a very serious problem.
Keep trying/pushing and you might end up loosing her all together.

Somebody that says they pray the weather is bad so they don't have to go out, does not like sailing.


> "I pray for bad weather on the weekends" were her words.


 I know it's hard for us to imagine, but some people simply don't like it. This is not good for our OP.


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## imagine2frolic (Aug 7, 2008)

sailortjk1 said:


> Everybody has given some wonderful advise, but I have to tell you, there are some people out there that just don't get it and will never get it.
> 
> Sorry, but its true and it sounds like the OP has already been trying exactly what you have all been saying. Did you see his post....
> 
> ...


If that's the case then it sounds like you will have to choose between some what if's through the rest of your life, or yourself. Everybody deserves to be happy. Can you be happy without her sailing? Will she allow this with no harm to your relationship?

Fortunately I did not have a child involved, so I chose the boat over 2 different women. I am now married to a lovely woman easy on the eyes, and she goes where I go, and enjoys it 99% of the time. Sometimes 1% can be hell..:laugher , but WE keep going......*i2f*


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## smackdaddy (Aug 13, 2008)

Another alternative is to threaten to withhold sex for a few days. Worked like a charm for me. Now I can't get her off the boat.

Of course, I could see where for some of you guys that might not be quite as effective.


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## PalmettoSailor (Mar 7, 2006)

It depends on if the words were said in the "heat of battle". 

We've had a few episodes where I was so fed up that I was on the way to the brokers to list the boat for sale myself, so all might not be lost.


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## painkiller (Dec 20, 2006)

*Alternative Therapy*

You might consider this approach:


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Hire a babysitter that likes to sail. Take the babysitter, the child and yourself out sailing and let your wife have some time off.


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## Naughtylus (Sep 22, 2008)

When you go out next time, put her straight on the helm. 
In my experience, it does wonders.
Does she enjoy swimming? Find a sheltered anchorage and swim off the boat together.

A glass of chilled white wine and a compliment or two won't do any harm


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## Ilenart (Jul 23, 2007)

If you do have to take the two year old try getting a harness where the kid can reach the cockpit or climb inside the cabin, but cannot climb out of the cockpit. When my youngest was 2-3 we had this great child harness which allowed him to climb out of the cabin and into the cockpit however he could'nt climb out of the cockpit as the restraint was just the right length. He used to climb in and out of the cabin 10-15 times every 30 minutes, however as he was strapped in he couldnt escape.

Ilenart


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## hertfordnc (Sep 10, 2007)

I think I've read everything in this thread- I found one thing missing- the BABY.

In your initial post you said "We have a 2 yr. old and admittedly she has to watch her most of the time which I know is hard." 

Why is that? How much of that baby watching can you do? Focus on the baby and his needs and patterns. 

Assuming there is some hope that she could learn to love sailing, i believe the best path to success is for you to relieve her of the baby responsibility, or at least demonstrate that you are capable of it. 

Yes, i realize that some competent adult has to drive the boat and for now that's you. 

But if you can be fully responsible for the kid, get some other adult to help sail and let her enjoy the boat several things will happen-

She may see the boat as a break from the burden of motherhood, you will become closer to your child, by tuning in to your child you will be in a much better spot to make a sailor out of him too.

Ultimately, your family comes first- and if you REALLY put them first, then you are most likely to achieve your secondary goal of becoming a sailing family.


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## emcentar (Apr 28, 2009)

*For what it's worth, a woman's perspective.*

I think making it a date night is a good idea. I can't imagine anything more stressful than trying to watch a two-year old on a swaying boat. That would probably make me hate sailing too. Wait until the child is older to introduce them to sailing.

As someone else has noted, I would also closely examine your skippering. A relaxed and happy skipper puts everyone at ease - a tense and bossy skipper makes sailing unhappy for everyone. I've sailed with skippers I've wanted to throw off the boat. Most of them were married men who probably wonder why their wives don't like to sail. (Another possibility is that you're sailing in conditions that make her nervous, but I'm hoping you are not doing that single-handed with a two-year old on board.)

Sailing is also more fun if you know what you are doing. See if she'd be interested in taking sailing lessons at a sailing school. Then let her sail the boat on your next date nights. Don't instruct her and do what she tells you to do.

If these three things don't work, then she may just not like sailing. It's not for everyone and as the baby gets older you can turn him/her into a sailor and it can be something you do together to give mom a break. Lots of couples have a hobby (running, biking, hiking, sailing) between them that they can't do together and they make it work regardless. But I think you need to give her an honest shot at the joys of sailing before deciding that it isn't something you want to do together.


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## tommays (Sep 9, 2008)

It depends on the person MY wife will never be at compleat ease on the water (even a 4' deep pool )and as a result allways disliked sailing when are children were young 

The good think is the now 21 and 24 year old did NOT pick up her fear BUT hers will allways be there so i stay greatfull for the time she is willing to sail 

Just recently she got the idea it would be fun to go on a 36 mile race that finishes at NIGHT with myself ,son and crew
Knowing how upset she has gotten during short races this year we had to talk here out of that one and with winds that picked up to 22 knots and a submarine like return leg it was really good she stayed home


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## ikrieger (Sep 11, 2006)

Well there is some good advice here and some pretty funny stuff too. I think I'm going to stick to the original game plan and see if I can get her out on the boat, just the two of us. This way we can find out if she just doesn't like it, or doesn't like it when she has to watch our daughter. I would like to get to that point then re-introduce the child into the equation. Go from there. I'm staying optimistic.


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## bubb2 (Nov 9, 2002)

All funn'in aside, I think that is a good plan. I want to tell you a story! When my kids were young. We did all the site seeing things. Lookout over the cliffs, the top of tall buildings, the caravel rides. There were times, I was a wreck hanging on to my kids scared to death that something bad was going to happen. The funny part is for 4 years of my life I was a paratrooper with the 82sd airborne, but if I was with my kids my knees would be knocking anytime we were 10 feet off the ground or higher.


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## katgirl (Sep 8, 2009)

*Try Classes*



ikrieger said:


> I've tried to introduce her slowly to sailing by not going out in bad weather and keeping the trips short to about 1 hour sometimes organized around events like fireworks, or the airshow to keep it interesting. I don't ask her to go a lot, maybe 2-3 per month. We have a 2 yr. old and admittedly she has to watch her most of the time which I know is hard. So... any suggestions.


The biggest reason I can think of for not liking to sail is that she doesn't know how. Or, doesn't understand it. There are some great classes around. See if she would be willing to take classes to get ASA certified. Especially if you aren't certified.

And, when you are sailing together after the classes, let her be the skipper and you watch the 2 year old. I don't know about you, but if I have to be the baby sitter on land and at sea, I would prefer to be on land to babysit.


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## smackdaddy (Aug 13, 2008)

Hey kat - welcome to SN! Great advice. 

Do you sail on Travis?


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Have you had a talk with her to know why she doesn't like sailing?

If there is a specific reason, once you know, you might be able to adjust yourself to make her happy.

If she only states I dislike it, well  

Best of luck


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

Lifes too short, get a divorce and go sailing. Guys I hear say this always end up lossing the boat in the divorce anyway.


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## easygoing (Aug 9, 2008)

My wife told me "it will be the boat or me" My response was that "I will miss you"


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## TSOJOURNER (Dec 16, 1999)

jpd531 said:


> Lifes too short, get a divorce and go sailing. Guys I hear say this always end up lossing the boat in the divorce anyway.


My wife is not enthused. She can't even swim. Well, she says she can swim but can't tread water. I try and show her that she is simply pointing her feet the wrong way. She gives me that STFU look and can't comprehend. She gets panic attacks crossing bridges in the car. I can't even imagine what her fear of boating must be like. She reads books daily for enjoyment, but won't touch a sailing book. So here I am having to start with swimming lessons. Then a Buccaneer on the lake, always keeping a line to shore just in case. Then maybe a 28 footer. Then maybe some books and maybe some more sailing.... before having to start over with a sailing school for two. I'm looking at possibly five years wasted work on her before throwing in the towel. The 36 footer is probably not in the stars. I'm 55+ now and am really looking forward to finishing out my days on the water. I am honestly thinking I should just bag it (the relationship) now, get (re)planted near the Chesapeake, and start with that 36 footer... alone.


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## merlin2375 (Jul 12, 2007)

I'll be the first to admit, I didn't read this whole thread  Not all things have to be enjoyed _together_. Not to say you can't try, but it's ok for each person to have different hobbies, and hopefully, a few that you can share.

My $.02. YMMV.


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## chris_gee (May 31, 2006)

For some people sailing is not associated with pleasure but stress and anxiety or fear. Those associations can be tackled partly by organisation and partly by dealing with them as any other phobia. Hint would you expect rubbishing to overcome a fear of heights or flying?
As some have mentioned it is a good policy to give others hands on learning as an introduction. However it is difficult to do that when one of you has to focus on a child.
A child of that age is a major problem not just because it is the NO stage and the running away and crossing roads stage but also because of an inability to brace and the danger of being thrown around and impeding movement. One person I know installed a car seat in the cockpit. Another idea is to try to make as much of the time correspond with sleep time as possible. To keep the child below make a child space say in the quarterberth say decorated with stars, butterflies, fairies, or whatever the child is keen on with their input so they are happy to spend time there.
For all of you the associations should be fun relaxation and pleasure think food wine and laughter, not stress coercion and fear.


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## cormeum (Aug 17, 2009)

My wife and I have come to something of a resolution. She has intractable seasickness and finds sailing to be "stressful" . The kids, on the other hand, really like going out so I just take them- works out best for everyone. As they get older, I'll have a full crew.

FWIW, the 2 year old is the most avid and throws a fit if she can't go.


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