# Saying hello



## Rmaddy (Feb 8, 2019)

After a month or so on Sailnet, I just noticed the herSailnet forum. I am 52, a small lake sailor from Minnesota. I sail for recreative purposes, and enjoy sailing with friends and solo in equal measure. I also enjoy paddle boarding, music, sketching and astrophotography. I seek to be competent in all that I do, but I have nothing to prove to anyone else. I'm a bit frustrated with the misogynistic tone I read in many of the Sailnet fora. I look forward to getting to know you and learn from you.


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## RegisteredUser (Aug 16, 2010)

You have made some good and interesting posts.
Continue please.
My fave color is a bright red...think coke red.
Ive never robbed a liquor store but think i could do so without being identified on youtube.
How to rid males of testosterone and stupidity....well thats for a medical forum


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## Rmaddy (Feb 8, 2019)

RegisteredUser said:


> You have made some good and interesting posts.
> Continue please.
> My fave color is a bright red...think coke red.
> Ive never robbed a liquor store but think i could do so without being identified on youtube.
> How to rid males of testosterone and stupidity....well thats for a medical forum


Testosterone goes away with time, but stupidity lingers.

:hammer


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## MarkofSeaLife (Nov 7, 2010)

If you have any problem with any post please hit the little red triangle at the bottom of each post and report it to the moderators.

It's important for us to know people's feelings.

Also, FYI, one of our Mods @Donna_F is definitely a female and she, and her Dragon, patrol the board carefully. Any problems you may have that you wish to discuss privately with her please PM her. (You're welcome, Donna :devil)

Finally, it takes many new members a while to get the relaxed feeling in this forum. Welcome, and give it a bit of time :grin

Mark


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Glad you're here rm...... Hope it settles for you. Social media forums can be rough, as people type things they would never say, face to face, in public. I really don't think it's a gender issue, as much as a social one. Everyone is amateur at this and, unlike table manners, we haven't been at it long enough for etiquette to form.

I still don't understand how the proper response to misogyny, is a sub-forum that attracts misandry. 

There is no his-sailnet sub-forum that allows guys to blow off gender steam and I don't think this one was designed to do the opposite.


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## Minnesail (Feb 19, 2013)

Of course there is a hisSailNet, it's called THE REST OF SAILNET!

It's a shame this sub-forum can't be limited, but I don't recall whether or not you specify a gender when you sign up.

The world has come a long way towards gender equity, but there are still substantial issues. In conversations men and women interact differently, often to the detriment of women.

For instance it is generally thought that women talk more than men. Way back in the 70s during Roe v Wade one of the attorneys said *to the supreme court* that since he was arguing against a woman she was sure to get the last word. More recently an Uber board member complained about all the women on the board, saying it led to too much talking.

But in fact, in formal settings, women talk less than men. Even though they talk less, they are perceived to be talking more. Men dominate conversations, even while they think women are doing all the talking.

TIME: The Truth About How Much Women Talk - and Whether Men Listen


> In a now-classic study, Barbara and Gene Eakins recorded seven university faculty meetings. They found that, with one exception, the men at the meeting spoke more often and, without exception, spoke longer. The longest comment by a woman at all seven gatherings was shorter than the shortest comment by a man. Susan Herring found a similar pattern in online discussions among linguists on professional topics: Messages written by men were, on average, twice as long as those written by women.


My wife is scarcely a shrinking violet, but she went to Smith, a women's college, and she feels she got a better educational experience because of it.

And as if to prove the point, I just rambled on far longer than the original post...


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## Minnewaska (Feb 21, 2010)

Minnesail said:


> Of course there is a hisSailNet, it's called THE REST OF SAILNET!...


Obviously, I struggle with that point. The other sub forums may be predominantly populated with men, but they aren't designed and published for men. People with different personalities and opinions get in conflict, it's men to men and woman to woman. Not just men and women.

I know this is a sensitivity point. I think there will never be full inclusion and equality, if it's remains okay to camp up in segregation. Men's only clubs are now banned. For good reason.

The students at my kids college were pretty vocal about inclusion and equality. Then you look at the franternities and sororities and they're all sorts of voluntarily segregated houses. Black, Native Indian, Asian. Then the Koreans and Chinese segregate. It's bad in all forms.


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## RegisteredUser (Aug 16, 2010)

Years ago i looked for a safe sailing forum that catered to aboriginal jewish men transitioning lez...and came up empty


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## boatpoker (Jul 21, 2008)

Rmaddy said:


> I'm a bit frustrated with the misogynistic tone I read in many of the Sailnet fora. I look forward to getting to know you and learn from you.


There are a few juvenilles and I suggest you just ignore them as it's too late for them to change. Most of the guys here are decent people.


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## Rmaddy (Feb 8, 2019)

MarkofSeaLife said:


> If you have any problem with any post please hit the little red triangle at the bottom of each post and report it to the moderators.
> 
> It's important for us to know people's feelings.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the welcome and for the tip on using moderator notification. That sort of thing helps, but you probably understand that it is rather easy for someone to be a buzzkill without technically violating the TOS.



boatpoker said:


> There are a few juvenilles and I suggest you just ignore them as it's too late for them to change. Most of the guys here are decent people.


It's not the juveniles so much as the peacocks-those who use every discussion to show how special they are. I am no stranger to internet forums, but there does seem to be quite a bit more of it here.


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## chef2sail (Nov 27, 2007)

Welcome aboard. I'll enjoy reading your future posts. 
As in the real world the good guys here outnumber the peacocks and mysagonists.


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## Donna_F (Nov 7, 2005)

Rmaddy said:


> After a month or so on Sailnet, I just noticed the herSailnet forum. I am 52, a small lake sailor from Minnesota. I sail for recreative purposes, and enjoy sailing with friends and solo in equal measure. I also enjoy paddle boarding, music, sketching and astrophotography. I seek to be competent in all that I do, but I have nothing to prove to anyone else. I'm a bit frustrated with the misogynistic tone I read in many of the Sailnet fora. I look forward to getting to know you and learn from you.


Welcome Renae.

We're of the same age. It's good to have you on board. Over time I've learned to weed through the muck on this forum and have been lucky enough to find some real friendships (in person) from my time here.

HerSailnet was started quite a while ago when it was probably needed more than it is today. Yes, more men than women post here but most of the men are thoughtful and respectful. The others just get ignored.

I hope you don't give up on the forum. There is a lot to learn here and I found that I made better decisions after being able to hear from different perspectives.


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## Rezz (Oct 12, 2012)

Welcome, from a newer mod and relatively new sailor as well. I hope you find it welcoming here and pull up a chair to stay a while. 

If you end up in the Chesapeake, you'll find plenty of people you can meet in person - I'm sure there are other forum members up your way, too.

Fair Winds,

Rezz


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## SV Siren (Mar 8, 2013)

First off, I just wish to say welcome to the group. Getting used to any forum takes a little bit of time, it might take a while to get to recognize the players, and there is a list of usual suspects who chime in pretty regularly. 

All that said, I am having a hard time seeing the misogyny, as defined my Miriam Webster. I'm just being honest. Maybe I am clueless, which easily could be the case btw. I just do not see an undertone of hate towards women. Now condescension, that I see every now and then, but that seems to be specifically towards one person, by another, but by and large not sexism based. Maybe this is due to the fact that I usually do not pay attention to who writes what, unless something stands out in my head, that, and I only read the posts that interest me, which are only 25% or so. 

Don't give up on this forum, and stand your ground..there are some good people here, and a huge amount of knowledge between the members.


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