# Is it safe to sleep overnight at the marina?



## jjstick

Hi ladies,

I'm still very skeptical about staying overnight on my boat alone in the marina. This is the one thing keeping me away from getting a slip. I'd love to hear your experiences and thoughts. Thanks in advance


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## jackdale

I have often been the sole person sleeping on a boat in a marina. I have never given it a second thought.

What concerns you?


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## jjstick

Just worst case scenario if someone is a predator and basically breaks in my boat or follows me...


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## Uricanejack

At first I thought this a really odd question. Until I noticed its in the her net sailing section.

I am a Grumpy Old Guy so my thoughts or ideas may not be relevant to you. If you are a young lady. 
Perhaps I am naïve but I prefer to think the best of people rather than the worst. Most people I have met on docks around the world have been friendly when I am friendly.
There are many places I might have visited happily, I would advise my Daughter to stay clear off. They were not the kind of harbours yachts frequent anyway.
I can think of nowhere on the west coast where I would worry about my daughter on the boat alone. Marinas, Public Docks, Anchorages or Marine Parks. 
If you are concerned stick to Marinas with security gates and night watch. I have often tied up in small fishing or commercial docks. They are often the friendliest. Working sailors may look a bit rough but most are good guys. 

I think popular sailing destinations have just to many people around for bad guys to feel comfortable operating.


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## chuck5499

Ok I think that depends on where you are. If you are in Venezuela that might be a problem. Or say Syria could pose a bit of a risk. Or in downtown Baltimore along one of the piers? 

So where are you? 

By the way I read your question to my Admiral and her first response was where is she going to sleep in a hotel. Her second response was why did she by a boat then. Not my questions but the Admirals. Food for thought I guess.


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## Minnewaska

I can't say I've heard of anyone being accosted, while sleeping on their boat in the marina. I suppose it depends on your neighborhood. We had some crusty old dude sitting on a folding chair and whittling at the top of the dock last summer. He was there all day and no one knew who he was. My wife was not comfortable going to the shoreside restrooms that evening. 

There are all kinds of personal security apps these days. You can set a timer in your car and, if you don't shut if off when you get to your boat, it will automatically call the police. Once aboard, there are many ways to secure yourself below, which depend on how much airflow you need where you are.

I've never heard this being a serious issue in the States. Where are you?


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## Donna_F

Girl here. If this is your first experience with putting your boat in a slip, it's a valid question. I bought my first boat when I was single and, frankly, never gave it a thought so good for you for being more cautious.

I've slept in my boat alone when I was more or less alone in my marina (ungated). We have one yard guy who lives on his Tayana farther down the dock and at various times at least one other liveaboard. 

It really comes down to YOUR comfort level. If you have the option, choose a marina you'd feel more comfortable in overnight. I don't remember from your other posts if you're planning to live aboard. I don't. The times I stay by myself, without my SO, is usually when I just want to get some boat work done without distraction or if I drive down mid-week after work to prepare the boat for a hurricane or whatever and don't feel like driving the two hours back home. 

When you are marina shopping choose one based on how you're planning on using it beyond simply putting your boat in the slip.


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## outbound

Pragmatics:
Most hatches have a ventilation setting where they are open just a wee bit but still can be locked. 
You are required to carry a fire extinguisher in each cabin, galley and engine room. Place one next to the berth you are sleeping in along with the air horn you are required to carry. Also have your million,candle light search light next to your berth.
Turn off all lights.
Lock the boat up from the inside.
If some one boards between being blinded by the bright light, confused by the air horn, frozen by the fire extinguisher foam in their face likelihood is even a petit lady can drive the sharpest galley knife into the boarder if necessary. We have a line cutter on a pole for clearing lobster pot lines. It would serve well to repell boarders.
Of course if you are still disquieted you can alarm the companionway, get mace etc.
When we were both working thought about this as wife is only 4'10". You are as safe as the biggest longshoreman with a bit of forethought. Boardings are a extraordinary occurrence . Don't worry be happy.


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## outbound

Oh- did I mention she has a cc license and has some person defense training.


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## zeehag

i am female sola cruising with a cat. i have been very safe in marinas, when i use em. cat, however, has not been so fortunate as critters crawl around at night. the 2 legged kind usually donot bother me. 
there is security in marinas, so inhabitants donot experience the distress of intrusions. 
i generally keep a fish counting gaff at bedside, and a bowie knife....
other items of household use are excellent weaponry if you are nervous.
i sleep with my boat unlocked, but i am not in venezuela nor in any area with any kind of real danger to me.
where are you located???


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## jjstick

Hi all,

I am in Southern California and most marinas I've researched seem pretty safe here. I am looking at Marina Del Rey, Redondo Beach and Long Beach. The marinas here are gated and locked but since this is my first boat I don't know the environment very well yet. 

I am planning to spend 3-4 nights a week on the boat so I would be there often. 

It's unfortunate that I have to be this paranoid and prepared but it only takes one time for something wrong to happen.


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## mikel1

I lived aboard for a while in the Wilmington/Longbeach area . . . very safe, even the "unsavory" looking types when you get to know them are really quite nice friendly and protective of their fellow dock and marina neighbors . . .


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## MarkofSeaLife

I am locked in every night at anchor or in a marina.

Also there's small tear gas canisters available to have by your bed.

Mark


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## Sal Paradise

I'm just here waiting for the gun nuts to show up.


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## mikel1

Shssss! Don't wake them . . . .


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## Scotty C-M

My wife and I spend a lot of time at our marina, and at others around the SF Bay area. We feel very safe, although common sense suggests that we all use "situational awareness". I haven't made a system of locking the companionway from the inside, but I think it is a good idea.


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## chuck53

It all comes down to location...location...location.
At our marina, (she never has) but my wife would not hesitate to stay alone on the boat, and I would let her. I might add that our boat cannot be locked from the inside and there are no locked gates, cameras or any kind of security.
It all depends on the marina and the people who make up the marina community.


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## Cande

I, too, wouldn't give it a second thought! Can't imagine anything "bad" ever happpening.


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## Cande

Our boat, a J37, can easily lock from the inside, but I can't imagine a boat in which you couldn't rig a secure lock mechanism. Good luck! 
I was so sure there was nothing to be concerned about, but now that I've read some of the comments about being at least cautious, I will be from now on. So thank you!


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## Don L

I think it all comes down to the marina location and what type of foot traffic it might get. If I thought it was dickey I would just put the companionway board in and close the hatch and lock it from inside. But I guess that depends a lot on what other port-lights you have for ventilation.

Never have had a problem on the boat, just in my house that was in a development in almost no where.


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## guitarguy56

Location... Location is about right... we overnight on our boat and don't lock up any of the hatches and when nights are cool enough to not have the deadly gnats/mosquitoes we leave the hatches open but with bug screens... on warmer summer nights we'll pad up the deck and sleep watching the stars... but the thought about someone boarding while you're asleep is always there even if it is relatively safe...


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## Donna_F

Not to diminish the experience of some of those who responded, and thank you very much for the comments and especially the security suggestions, but I think the OP's main concern is as a _woman_ alone in a marina. Those who are a "we" don't have quite the same concerns.


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## gptyk

My boat is in Dana Point. I have no qualms about spending the night on it (unlocked and open). I have a friend that does the same - by herself. 

You'll have no real problems in SoCal. No worse than on land at least.


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## guitarguy56

DRFerron said:


> Not to diminish the experience of some of those who responded, and thank you very much for the comments and especially the security suggestions, but I think the OP's main concern is as a _woman_ alone in a marina. Those who are a "we" don't have quite the same concerns.


Granted... but someone wanting to cause harm does not know there is one (female or male), two, three, whatever inhabitants on a boat inside behind the closed hatches at 3AM in the morning or whatever time... I think any 'woman' wanting to stay alone in a marina on her boat overnight will have to 'man up' and deal with it... other women on this and other forums have.


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## gamayun

Initially, I dismissed this question because there are so many other things to fear, which can have little bearing on risk. You need to personally understand both the rational risk (i.e., what's the level of crime in your area) and any irrational response to that risk (i.e., there's never been a rape in this particular marina yet the possibility of a predator scares me). In my current marina, I've had to walk around a body covered in a sheet near the gate to my boat (no idea how this person died), there was a shoot out right in front of the marina as I was rigging my boat one morning because some crazy stole a cop's van for a ride through the city, two windows have been broken on my car in the parking lot and stuff stolen, my helm cover mysteriously disappeared a couple weeks ago, and there have been footprints (both dog and human) on my boat. I now lock my hatches and after some urging by a friend, I did install a latch on the inside of my cockpit hatch. I also sleep next to an extremely large socket wrench. But I still don't fear sleeping on my boat alone. Obviously, I have a high tolerance for risk. So it really depends on your own fears and how you can manage them. Others' perspectives here are not going to help you, because you can arm yourself to the teeth and still wake up every time the boat twitches with a tide change.

Oh, I have taken to not going to the showers at 11pm any more....I do have a threshold.


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## MarkofSeaLife

If you lived in a house over the road from the marina would you sleep with the front door wide open?


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## goat

jjstick said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I am in Southern California and most marinas I've researched seem pretty safe here. I am looking at Marina Del Rey, Redondo Beach and Long Beach. The marinas here are gated and locked but since this is my first boat I don't know the environment very well yet.
> 
> I am planning to spend 3-4 nights a week on the boat so I would be there often.
> 
> It's unfortunate that I have to be this paranoid and prepared but it only takes one time for something wrong to happen.


I'm slipped at Redondo, it seems like a very low crime area (oddly enough) and there actually seems to be less theft here than when I was living in Nanaimo B.C. Canada. The gates do offer some protection but I have jumped them when I've left my card on the boat. There are several solo female liveaboards and so far, no complaints.

Your boat is your home, and unless you were worried about people following you to your dirt house, you shouldn't be too worried about people following you to your boat. If anything, it's harder to break into a locked boat than a locked home.

That one fear will pass. Now for the next one.........

goat

edit ^^^or what Mark said.


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## Don L

MarkofSeaLife said:


> If you lived in a house over the road from the marina would you sleep with the front door wide open?


Hell no! Have you seen the low life scum that live on boats?


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## tempest

It's important to be able to feel safe and secure in your own space. So, it's worthwhile to do whatever it takes to accomplish that. Knowing your surroundings and maintaining situational awareness is key. Get to know your neighbors. Observe. Have a way to secure the boat from inside. Keep emergency numbers on speed dial. Don't take in strays. My elderly neighbor knows to hit her car alarm button, if she needs to attract my attention. Ease yourself in to the sleepovers. Invite a trusted friend to hang out with you one night, see how that goes. There's nothing wrong in being prudent and cautious. I would be more concerned if you weren't. As long as you don't let it keep you from living life the way you want to.


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## MarkofSeaLife

Don0190 said:


> MarkofSeaLife said:
> 
> 
> 
> If you lived in a house over the road from the marina would you sleep with the front door wide open?
> 
> 
> 
> Hell no! Have you seen the low life scum that live on boats?
Click to expand...

LOL, ya goose, Don! 

I meant: wherever I live in the city either a house or an appartment I always shut and lock the front door. 
That's not fear paranoia ... its just normal common sense, isn't it?


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## guitarguy56

OPPs just saw where you are slipped... This has a bigggg bearing on safety at her marina... I always felt safe in the Everett, WA marina as a single sleeper there... never an issue with safety or theft at all... Feel just as safe here... ie, no thefts or crime.... if crime ridden or spooky to be there then she should move the boat to a safer marina.

Marina Del Ray, San Pedro, Newport Beach and Alamitos Marinsa are safe marinas... at least when I was there last year... I don't think you have a worry now that I know where you have your boat slipped but I would still take some precautions as other have mentioned.


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## Dancin' Bare

You're probably going to have to trust your own judgement on this. There are a few things that you can do. If you can move to a dock with other live a boards on it you'll probably become part of a group that looks out after each other. Locked gates help too. Check with other women at your harbor and ask the harbor master if he/she is aware of anything you should be concerned with. Most harbors seem really safe so unless you're getting cat calls and knuckle draggers drooling in your direction you really shouldn't have any issues. My daughter has stayed on my boats and never had issues. Depending on you point of view, you could take a few weeks of a Krav Mega course and keep a winch handle close… We had a nice girl living on our dock in SF. I had asked if she ever felt uncomfortable and her response was, "Hell no!" I really hope that your in a harbor where others love the water and appreciate other sailors too! Good luck.


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## miatapaul

I think it depends on the marina. But where I am it seems more secure than most apartment complexes. I don't really see it any different than an apartment complex. I would make certain your boat has a way to secure the companion way from the inside. Even a simple barrel bolt that can stop the companionway from sliding open if you have standard drop hatch boards. I think if you went to the marina, and looked around for a female there to talk to you could ask what they think of security in the marina. I am about 40 miles north of NYC and do not lock the boat when I am on it or when off, nether does it appear many do. This was true in the marinas north of me, and while looking at boats it was very common to have the owner say, yea just go ahead and go on board and take a look. Of course the only electronics I have on board is a 1975 AM/FM radio with cassette. Heck it does not even have presets on it!


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## CharlzO

Definitely would depend on the marina. Mine has a pretty close-knit feel to it, and while I don't know how many liveaboard for the season, I do know that when I've stayed, I feel plenty safe enough (pretty rural area anyway) that I don't usually lock the cabin from inside, though I do have a barrel lock if I felt the need. But I've also been greeted in the mornings by other people in the morning when I step onto the dock, and everyone else around always seems to look out for their fellow boaters. I had closed my cockpit drain seacock one day and forgot when I went home that night, came up the next weekend, and a neighbor had seen the water accumulating and was kind enough to open it up for me. I've also even left my horseshoe buoy out all season and it never disappeared. So, I consider that a good find. 

I would suggest certainly talking to the other people around and try to get a feel for how comfortable they are, and use that to gauge yourself. And as suggested, if there are other people that liveaboard or stay overnight, carry a personal alarm. If something DOES go bump in the night and comes on board, one of those is sure to draw instant attention from others who will hopefully at least sound the alarm to bring help. I'd venture any marina that allows liveaboards is more likely to be safer, simply since a crook or something is less likely to attempt a break-in when there are potential witnesses out there. 

I've never had a second thought, in either location I've been in so far. I'm sure you'll be fine, it's just getting that first night under your belt!


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## Siamese

It's a reasonably safe place to sleep alone. Of course, it's ultimately up to you to provide for your self defense. 

I've spent enough time around criminals to know that they don't think like the rest of us. They believe that if you fail to adequately protect that which they wish to take from you, then you have basically "given it up" to them. My personal protection is based on that concept.


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## gamayun

jjstick said:


> Hi all,
> 
> I am in Southern California and most marinas I've researched seem pretty safe here. I am looking at Marina Del Rey, Redondo Beach and Long Beach. The marinas here are gated and locked but since this is my first boat I don't know the environment very well yet.


I don't mean to make you more paranoid, but I've gotten myself into many gated and locked marinas, either by someone holding the gate open or scaling the fence -- "security" is just another way to mitigate fear by perception. There are plenty of safety courses and things you can do to make yourself less of a potential victim. Locks are always good. Being "unobtrusive" is another (fancy jewelry can be an obvious target). Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Always trust your gut. Maybe get a dog


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## troy2000

Sal Paradise said:


> I'm just here waiting for the gun nuts to show up.


I suppose I qualify as a gun nut. But I'd never try to talk someone who isn't familiar with them into keeping one around... inexperienced people with guns scare h*** out of me.


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## ericb760

This OP has posted in several different forums regarding living aboard in SoCal marinas. I don't know if she's naive, new to sailing, trolling Sailnet, or all of the above. Either way, living aboard in SoCal is no cakewalk, and isn't something you can just move in to, even in the cheapest marinas. I was on the live aboard list for 5 years before I moved back to the desert, and I never got the call from the harbor master telling me that my that my request had been approved.

Which is not the same thing as saying that I didn't end up being a (mostly) sneak aboard live aboard, spending more than the legally allowed four nights onboard. And, there is a right way to do that, and a wrong way.

The right way is to do it incrementally. Keep your $hit tight, your head down, your car clean (yes, this is an important aspect to sneaking aboard), and avoid cramming your cockpit with $hit that screams "I live here", and basically be as invisible as you can possibly be. No partying with fellow dock inhabitants. Basically, keeping to yourself will keep the management off your ass. It also helps if you pay your slip fee on time, every time, or in advance.

I enjoyed my live aboard/sneak aboard time, and would have been perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life doing so. Alas, my career aspirations didn't allow such vagrant behavior.


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## Minnewaska

Sal Paradise said:


> I'm just here waiting for the gun nuts to show up.


Sal, do you really think taking an offensive approach and calling them nuts is going to be productive?

Next time a discussion of waste systems, repower or anchors comes up, should I suggest the composter nuts, electric propulsion nuts or rocna nuts are about to show up?

I can't recall anyone that advocates any particular form of self-defense referring to those that disagree as nuts, before a counter point is even made. It seems name calling is the written weapon of choice for those that take your position on this particular issue and it's explicitly why threads get shut down as a result.


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## jjstick

I'm not only new to sailing, I'm VERY new. I am a person who does my homework and tries to learn as much as I can about my ventures before I get into them. I am very thankful that I stumbled across this forum and have received a plethora of information, feedback and experience from some of the most experienced sailers out there. So I appreciate all your responses and apologize if anyone else thinks I'm a troll with legitimate questions.


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## Sal Paradise

Minnewaska said:


> Sal, do you really think taking an offensive approach and calling them nuts is going to be productive?
> 
> Next time a discussion of waste systems, repower or anchors comes up, should I suggest the composter nuts, electric propulsion nuts or rocna nuts are about to show up?
> 
> I can't recall anyone that advocates any particular form of self-defense referring to those that disagree as nuts, before a counter point is even made. It seems name calling is the written weapon of choice for those that take your position on this particular issue and it's explicitly why threads get shut down as a result.


Well when the composting toilet miltia take over a federal building, I'll agree with you 100%!

Really, I was joking, and I am beginning to think humor is the only way to deal with it. I am sorry if I pissed you off.


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## Minnewaska

Sal Paradise said:


> Well when the composting toilet miltia take over a federal building, I'll agree with you 100%!
> 
> Really, I was joking, and I am beginning to think humor is the only way to deal with it. I am sorry if I pissed you off.


Thanks for the comment.

Just keep in mind that there are criminals that use composting toilets and honest people that defend themselves however they see fit. It's who you are that makes you nuts, not these choices.


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## Faster

How about we focus on trying to make jj feel safe on her boat-to-be....


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## zeehag

jj. i finally got enough interwebzzz to be able to see your intended locations. 
you are most wise to have avoided port of lost angels. that is source of all ebvil, but if yer strong enough it canbe pieceo fcake. stalker wars happened there, so......
redondo, mdr and long beach are ok mdr-- difficult to exit marina in sailing season, i found. redondo, king harbor was a lil busy in earthquakes, as moles turned to mush in 1994. northridge, that one.
shoreline marina, long beach, usually has availabilities. i was there for a bit, before i went to all larson's in fish harbor, (terminal island, where everyone is terminal) my favorite lost angels marina. not gated, but the pen is next door and the guards have yer back. is a fed pen. all on video from th e last cross street before pen until the innards of the place, so is better than guarded. i loved fish harbor. was away from the many. like a small town. we all knew each other, not have to lock up at all, and the guys watched over the gals .. yeah we were safe. even without gates
shoreline in long beach was large and closest to downtown. lbpd were the security guards. 
alamitos has a waiting list as long as the line awaiting perfect mates....
in each and every one of the locations you desire slippage the marina is gated and guarded unless specified in the description. yes i lived in all the areas except alamitos. list to wait was way too long.


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## Stu Jackson

I have a new neighbor on a 34 foot motoryacht. She spends a lot of time on board. She feels very safe. We have liveaboards in our marina, although none on our particular dock. It's a friendly environment and we all watch out for one another. No issues other than a few years ago some dumba$$ on a broken down old mobo was stealing outboards. When he stole some from the (no kiddin', real name) Outboard Motor Shop, they finally nailed him. Waterborne predators are the worst, but usually come in droves and are looking for material things, not people. Good advice here. Go for it, many places are less safe, much less.

And welcome to our little world here and on the other boating forums most of us visit regularly (sbo.com, cruisersforum, individual class association one design websites, and the like).

And by all means: HAVE FUN. :2 boat:


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## gamayun

Welcome, JJ. Ask away. We were all new once (I still feel "very new" all the time).

Unfortunate for you that you used the word "plethora" in your last post. I did the same in an email message to a friend a couple of days ago, so now I need to lead you also to this YouTube funny: 



 Let the trolls troll while you keep it light, keep it fun, and always keep on learning


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## oldragbaggers

We lived aboard in southern California for three years. My husband was active duty Navy at the time and was gone well over 50% of the time, leaving me and our pre-teen daughter alone on the boat. I have never felt safer anywhere. I would also not hesitate to stay alone here in our marina in Baltimore. Location, security, and familiarity with the community in the marina could make the difference. Are you uncomfortable with any of these for some reason?

Becky


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## dody

Hi jj, I'm living aboard since 2006, only a tiny period not on my own. I'm not in California, but Mediterranean and Atlantic. I've spent months in remote anchorages far away from villages or other sailors, I've stayed in fishing-ports and marinas. And I've been to Marocco. Never ever did I have a problem, to the contrary. I do lock my boat when I'm away, but never when home.

I'm a bit ashamed to have to admit something: people are pretty used to guys doing this kind of thing and nobody would ever loose a word about it. Do the same thing as a female and suddenly people behave as if you are doing something very special. It is sometimes difficult to convince them that there is no difference, and it takes a while for them to shake off the "protective mode".

I don't like big cities, so I stay away from them anyways. I don't wear jewellery, I don't dress up with high heels and things, no makeup and no long and red fingernails which are very unpractical to live aboard anyway. 

So far I've always been treated with the respect a seamen gets.

Hope that gives you some confidence, no need to worry!

Fair winds
Dody


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## MarkSF

The OP's concern should be falling in the water. In the Oakland / Alameda estuary, I know of at least 3 deaths in recent years where people fell off the dock. Very sad.


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## socal c25

My daughter spent a week on the boat with no problems coming in late at night, my boat is in a sketchy area (very industrial) I worried more about the drive from the freeway to the marina than being at the marina. In the US most marinas are a community and most boat owners watch out for others. I once forgot to lock the boat, came back a week later and had no problems.


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## newt

MarkSF said:


> The OP's concern should be falling in the water. In the Oakland / Alameda estuary, I know of at least 3 deaths in recent years where people fell off the dock. Very sad.


Wow- did they just not know how to swim or was the dock to difficult to get back on? Or were they intoxicated?

JJ, I have slept alone in marinas on the east coast, west coast north and south and even on inland lakes. Never had a problem with anyone even sniffing around. Now I am male, but a lot of female sailors are tough enough that I would rather rob me, so I don't think it makes any difference...
Good luck in your search. Living on water is always better.:cut_out_animated_em


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## dody

Hi jj, I had to think again about your question last night. 

Don't bother worrying about people, put you energy into practical stuff instead - the only real danger is you!

Ask yourself: would you be confident to replace a broken mooring-line at night and with bad weather? If you're cooking on gas, are you confident to replace the gas-bottle when empty on your own? Do you know what fuses are, where to find them and how to replace them or chuck them back in (should actually say more to this subject, but right here it's a start)? Do you know where your through-hulls are and what to do when a hose should break below the waterline? And certainly, as Mark said: do you know how to avoid falling in the water and - if that should happen - to get out safe and alive?

These are some examples of things you should be concerned about and prepare yourself, not people!

Fair winds, Dody


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## albrazzi

newt said:


> Wow- did they just not know how to swim or was the dock to difficult to get back on? Or were they intoxicated?
> 
> JJ, I have slept alone in marinas on the east coast, west coast north and south and even on inland lakes. Never had a problem with anyone even sniffing around. Now I am male, but a lot of female sailors are tough enough that I would rather rob me, so I don't think it makes any difference...
> Good luck in your search. Living on water is always better.:cut_out_animated_em


I rig my boat with a drop line and one to pull it over to the pier for boarding, working on it etc. If on board for extended periods the original system will need to be restorable for safety of the vessel in storms. I agree the situational aspects of boat life are paramount to survival. We too have lost people to the water at the dock, and its quite disturbing so without dwelling precautions should be taken. Floating docks are much better to deal with but I like to leave the boat away from everything. Agree with all the Location and security comments but just do it don't let all the answers and further questions get in the way of enjoying your Boat.


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## dody

dody said:


> Hi jj, I had to think again about your question last night.
> 
> Don't bother worrying about people, put you energy into practical stuff instead - the only real danger is you!
> 
> Ask yourself: would you be confident to replace a broken mooring-line at night and with bad weather? If you're cooking on gas, are you confident to replace the gas-bottle when empty on your own? Do you know what fuses are, where to find them and how to replace them or chuck them back in (should actually say more to this subject, but right here it's a start)? Do you know where your through-hulls are and what to do when a hose should break below the waterline? And certainly, as Mark said: do you know how to avoid falling in the water and - if that should happen - to get out safe and alive?
> 
> These are some examples of things you should be concerned about and prepare yourself, not people!
> 
> Fair winds, Dody


PS: now, don't get too scared about these things please! People will help you to understand and get things right. Sailors do help each other!
Also, if you set your boat on fire theirs is in immediate danger too. The same is valid when your boat, after breaking mooring-lines, hits other boats.

Cheers & fair winds
Dody


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## Garbone

Some of the best people we have ever met has been at the Marina and surely some of the best sleeping can be done on the boat. It is the motion.


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## jjstick

Well after highly considering getting my first boat, the fact is I just dont feel safe by myself. I'm glad there is such a positive consensus about sailing solo but I just can't have peace of mind by myself.


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## dody

So sad to hear this jj! 

But, what is it that does make you feel "safe" in a house on your own which doesn't make you feel "safe" in a boat on your own?

cheers, Dody


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## Ajax_MD

Cheese and Rice...6 pages of one-off tales of woe? 

By now, the OP has sold her boat and bought a Winnebago and is sleeping in the desert. Way to go, people.

Dear OP- 

No, sleeping in a marina is not safe. The environment outside of your home isn't safe. Nowhere is safe.
Everywhere has an element of risk. Accept it, embrace it. IMO, most marinas within the continental US are at the low end of the "risk spectrum" for violent crime, and at the low-to-middle range of the "risk spectrum" for petty crime like dinghy and outboard motor theft.

Why is everyone so hell bent on dying quietly on their sofa?


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## Minnewaska

jjstick said:


> Well after highly considering getting my first boat.....


That's a plot twist.....

Getting your first boat is a ton more nerve wracking than staying aboard overnight. You have to do what's comfortable for you, but I would be willing to bet there is more in the subconscious than personal security.


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## oldragbaggers

MarkofSeaLife said:


> I am locked in every night at anchor or in a marina.
> 
> Also there's small tear gas canisters available to have by your bed.
> 
> Mark


Where did you get the security screen?


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## oldragbaggers

I am sorry to hear that you have done a turn around and decided not to get a boat because of this fear. I also have to say I find it hard to understand. Expecting absolute safety anyplace is unreasonable, whether it's that night time stop at the gas station, or walking from your own driveway to the front door, but I have to say that in 35 years of boating, and having boats in marinas on both coasts we have never had so much as a theft from any of our boats.

Meanwhile I live in a waterfront community in a very nice rural area and last year had our garage door at home kicked in and most of our tools stolen. So, I have to echo the question asked by another poster......"what is it that makes you feel okay sleeping alone in a house but not on a boat?"

Others have already said it but I will add my agreement, marina communities tend to be close knit once you get to know people. We catch each other's dock lines, we're always willing to lend a hand, or a tool when someone needs it. And we look out for each other. When we lived in southern California we knew our neighbors at the dock far better than we knew the neighbors in our condo complex where we lived. A group of us went to breakfast together every Sunday morning and had sundowners in each other's cockpits after sailing. We were friends, and in some ways like a family.

If you don't yet own a boat and haven't had a chance to experience the sense of community that exists in a marina you have no way to really judge how you might feel about sleeping aboard your boat once you become a part of that community.

I have always felt that our boats were harder to break into than a house, given that ports are generally not large enough to climb through and hatches can be locked pretty securely. Have you ever tried breaking into a boat that is securely locked?

There are lots of marinas out there to choose from. Find one in a good area. Many of them have gated docks, if that's what you need to feel secure find one of those. Practice situational awareness as you would anywhere else.

And.....if all else fails, keep your gun loaded.:wink


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## Kellykito

jjstick said:


> Well after highly considering getting my first boat, the fact is I just dont feel safe by myself. I'm glad there is such a positive consensus about sailing solo but I just can't have peace of mind by myself.


Do you plan on always being alone? Maybe your boat will help you find a mate............


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## RobGallagher

jjstick said:


> Well after highly considering getting my first boat, the fact is I just dont feel safe by myself. I'm glad there is such a positive consensus about sailing solo but I just can't have peace of mind by myself.


For many, sailing is all about the peace of mind of being by oneself. However, what it's all about ain't for everybody.

I wish you luck.


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## Donna_F

BubbleheadMd said:


> Cheese and Rice...6 pages of one-off tales of woe?
> 
> By now, the OP has sold her boat and bought a Winnebago and is sleeping in the desert. Way to go, people.
> 
> ...


From her post, she never had a boat. This was research to determine if she wanted one.

It's not for everyone and it's good that she learned that before spending the money.

That said, when I bought my first boat my primary goal was learning to sail it. I wasn't even thinking about marina safety being on board by myself as the boat was trailerable. My second concern was not having the boat end up in the woods at the other end of my driveway when I backed it in.

Personally, I think she got ahead of herself and scared herself away. I didn't realize that she hadn't yet bought the boat nor knew how to sail or my initial response would have been different.


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## miatapaul

I really would suggest trying to get on a few racing crews (you don't need experience as sometimes they are looking for ballast AKA rail meat) and get you around some boats and the marina. Even if you are not that interested in racing it gets you on some boats and you can experience what it is like in the marina. You might make a few friends as well. I think marinas in general are very very safe. There are some that are a bit sketchy as in dirty and more workman like but even in those people tend to look out for one another more than they do in there own neighborhood. You all have boating in common. As I said I am 41 road miles from Gran Central Station in Manhattan (so figure less than 30 miles the way the crow flies) and I don't lock my companionway when I am away. I might in the summer when there are more boats around but the bottom line is it is one of the safest places I have ever lived.


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## jjstick

I just feel there are too many unknowns for me to feel comfortable. I have been having nightmares every night (related to being alone and someone breaking in) and I think those nightmares will escalate once on a boat. 

I think the difference between on land and in a marina is that on a dock, you are in much closer proximity to your neighbors. The nature of the docks make it that much more obvious when you leave and come back. Your dock neighbors will hear you opening your latches, talking, walking, jumping into your boat etc..

I also think part of it is feeling at mercy to my dock neighbors and the dockmaster. As in, if one neighbor doesn't like me for whatever reason, I will be evicted the next day. I feel I won't be welcomed. 

As for locking the campanionway, my belief is that if someone wants to break in, they will find a way. No locks or weaponry or self defense is going to help me if someone is determined to attack. Hey, they can just wait 'till I start walking to my car...


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## Ajax_MD

jjstick said:


> I just feel there are too many unknowns for me to feel comfortable. I have been having nightmares every night (related to being alone and someone breaking in) and I think those nightmares will escalate once on a boat.
> 
> I think the difference between on land and in a marina is that on a dock, you are in much closer proximity to your neighbors. The nature of the docks make it that much more obvious when you leave and come back. Your dock neighbors will hear you opening your latches, talking, walking, jumping into your boat etc..
> 
> I also think part of it is feeling at mercy to my dock neighbors and the dockmaster. As in, if one neighbor doesn't like me for whatever reason, I will be evicted the next day. I feel I won't be welcomed.
> 
> As for locking the campanionway, my belief is that if someone wants to break in, they will find a way. No locks or weaponry or self defense is going to help me if someone is determined to attack. Hey, they can just wait 'till I start walking to my car...


It's pretty obvious that the postings here, combined with your own fears have driven you away. Zeehag's story about stalkers, etc.
Just ridiculous.

Proximity to your neighbors? Also ridiculous. Ever live in a townhouse or row home? You're closer to your neighbor than you are on boats in a marina. People can always listen for the rattle of your house keys or your footfall on the sidewalk. It's no different.

Your neighbor doesn't like you? They can't get you evicted. That's a lot of bunk. It would most likely take a group of other liveaboard nagging the dockmaster and you'd have to be a real a$$hole to earn that kind of treatment.

In the end, every single one of your listed fears is just as likely (or more likely!) to happen on land whether you're renting an apartment, living in a single family home, or crossing country in an RV.

You're not at anyone's "mercy". 
Don't like your community? Sail to a new one. 
Don't like your dockmate? Ask for a new slip assignment.
Like your dockmates, but just need a break from them? Go sailing and anchor somewhere for a weekend.

Living aboard is freedom, not chains. You've got it all backwards. The people here, talking about stalkers and "tear gas grenades by the bed" have chased you off. Aside from that, it seems like you have a crippling case of a lack of self-confidence. You don't "need" anyone. You're tough enough to live alone on your own, anywhere, let alone on a boat.

It's a marina in California, for crying out loud, not Syria! ISIS isn't coming to tear you from your bunk and sell you into slavery. All the men in the marina aren't going line up to leer at you and pinch your bottom every time you walk to and from your boat! Most liveaboard folk are friendly, wonderful and helpful. I had multiple, single liveaboard women at my marina when I lived aboard. There was no leering, no sexual harassment, no theft or pilfering. The women were a welcome bright spot in our lives with their cheerful optimism.

Living on a boat isn't your problem, your personal hang-ups are. You're going to be terrified no matter where you lay your head at night until you realize that not everyone is out to get you, and that you're stronger and smarter than you think you are.

Good luck getting sorted out.


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## Kellykito

jjstick said:


> As for locking the campanionway, my belief is that if someone wants to break in, they will find a way. No locks or weaponry or self defense is going to help me if someone is determined to attack. Hey, they can just wait 'till I start walking to my car...


A locked companionway will at least give you a bit of a warning that someone is breaking in. Self defense or weaponry won't help? Oh my!.....you are determined to be a victim. Maybe best for you to stay home....but then again, I was a victim of a home invasion a few years ago. Can't go through life afraid of what may happen......


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## Donna_F

I, too, was a victim of a home invasion. I left the house to go down the road in the middle of the day, they came in. I returned home less than ten minutes later, they went out the back door while I walked in a different door. I'm not afraid to be in my home by myself but that's me.

The internet isn't going to help you get over your fears. If you're having nightmares about living alone on a boat, you definitely don't want to get pushed into doing it. 

That said, to address some of the other thoughts for other newbies reading this: We have no idea when our neighbors leave their boats unless we happen to be either in our cockpit and they walk by or we happen to look out the hatch as they walk by. We just don't spend our time keeping track of everyone. On the other hand, we were fortunate enough to hear the scream as an elderly neighbor fell between his boat and the dock. He had just had shoulder surgery so despite having spent a lifetime on the water as a merchant marine, he struggled to get out of the water. We were happy to have been in close enough proximity to help.

Like Bubblehead said, if you don't feel comfortable, then you move. But you need to be able to determine if your fears are real or not otherwise you'll just take your fears to the next marina and you'll be in an endless cycle.

And if you don't already know how to sail, do that first and worry about the rest later. You may hate sailboats and the expense and commitment of keeping them floating.


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## Ajax_MD

Donna- Just an FYI here,

I too, have been the victim of a home invasion. I awoke at 2am to a man standing over me, pointing a .40 caliber handgun in my face.
He tied me up and covered my head with a bag and proceeded to try to assault my then-wife. She raised a ruckus so he gave up and ran out. I got free and gave chase seconds later, but he was gone. Never captured.

My point is, I don't offer my advice lightly, as someone who's never had a bad thing happen to them. I'm aware that there are bad, scary people out there. This happened in an apartment complex in a very nice neighborhood in Washington state.

I may have been violated but I refuse to be a victim.


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## Minnewaska

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.......... _Eleanor Roosevelt_


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## MarkofSeaLife

oldragbaggers said:


> MarkofSeaLife said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Where did you get the security screen?
Click to expand...

I took the normal 2 part companiinway door, as a template, to a security door maker. The first one couldn't do it because its not exacty rectangular. But I finally found a place and it was dirt cheap - I think $50... but that's far too cheap, maybe it was $150? Whatever the price it was negligible for what I got.

I love it. Sturdy and lets the air through


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## hellosailor

I think we all tend to forget, or simply be unaware, that "bad things" have always happened. It is just now, with Entertainment Nooze and the Global Village of the internet, that the bad things are being discussed (dare I say glorified?) more frequently.
Slow day in the US? OK, the national Nooze will literally show an overturned tractor trailer in Beijing. Or a landslide, or something else that is equally routine and really not relevant half a world away.

How long ago was Brian Palma's "Straw Dogs" a hit movie? And gangs, and bad men, and bad things, happened way before that. The marauders and raiders that went around en masse after our US Civil War were the cause of major changes in our firearms laws, and in our military and militia laws, that persist to this day.

Life isn't all Nooze and Hollywood, but there are still certain simple precautions, like having and locking stout doors, that have always made sense. Even if your "problem" is not an attacking Viking hoard.


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## Cande

jjstick said:


> Well after highly considering getting my first boat, the fact is I just dont feel safe by myself. I'm glad there is such a positive consensus about sailing solo but I just can't have peace of mind by myself.


Goodness! There's as much discussion since you posted that you're giving up your dream of getting a boat as there was (most) people trying to give you the confidence to sleep on the boat and feel safe.

If I read BubbleheadMd's advice out of context I would think he/she was being too forceful. But you should take to heart everything he says. He's trying to help you break through your unrealistic fears.

Here in Upstate New York, it's been cold, and will be for several more months. I am SO anxious to put our boat in the water this spring. I assume my husband will sleep there with me, but he might not-- especially when he's got meetings in the morning to which he must wear a suit.

So when it's cold, one of the things we do here is read, and here are some great books. You can pick them up at your library.

"The Cruising Woman's Advisor," by Diana Jessie
"Changing Course, A Woman's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Life,"6 by Debra Ann Cantrell
"Women at the Helm," by Jeannine Talley

And just get out there sailing with other people-- people you don't even know yet. Put your name on the bulletin boards of some marinas that you find appealing. And just go sailing!

Oh, and have Fun!


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## Cande

Love it! Love your attitude! Cande


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## Uricanejack

sailing and boats are not for everyone. for many reasons. 
people fear things.

Suffering from the fears and nightmares you describe. Is not a good way to live. I am not going to pretend to know why you feel this way. If it is adversely affecting your ability to enjoy life. 
Talk to someone.


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## JimMcGee

jjstick said:


> I just feel there are too many unknowns for me to feel comfortable. I have been having nightmares every night (related to being alone and someone breaking in) and I think those nightmares will escalate once on a boat.
> 
> I think the difference between on land and in a marina is that on a dock, you are in much closer proximity to your neighbors. The nature of the docks make it that much more obvious when you leave and come back. Your dock neighbors will hear you opening your latches, talking, walking, jumping into your boat etc..
> 
> I also think part of it is feeling at mercy to my dock neighbors and the dockmaster. As in, if one neighbor doesn't like me for whatever reason, I will be evicted the next day. I feel I won't be welcomed.
> 
> As for locking the campanionway, my belief is that if someone wants to break in, they will find a way. No locks or weaponry or self defense is going to help me if someone is determined to attack. Hey, they can just wait 'till I start walking to my car...


I am closer with my marina neighbors than the neighbors around my home. At home we are all living busy lives, rushing off to work, hauling kids around. At the marina it's leisure time. Life is a little slower. People take the time to talk with each other, make dinner plans together, boat together and BBQ together. Marinas are communities.

Online you get a skewed view of reality. Pick a sunny Saturday morning and visit a few marinas. You'll find folks are friendly. Tell the women you meet there that you're thinking about living aboard a couple of days a week and ask how they like the place. You'll be very pleasantly surprised.

Don't let your anxieties run away and keep you from enjoying life.


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## Minnewaska

JimMcGee said:


> I am closer with my marina neighbors than the neighbors around my home.......


+1 I've made best friend quality friends at the marina. I have folks I know around the house.

I think in the OP's case, however, this really came down to having no experience owning a boat and that was possibly the larger fear, perhaps subconsciously.


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## Sal Paradise

MY impression is this had little to do with sailing, but was someone who wanted to live aboard as an alternative to renting an apartment.


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## curtis742

not to worry, California is a gun free zone. just get a big can of bear spray.


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## shadowraiths

jjstick said:


> Well after highly considering getting my first boat, the fact is I just dont feel safe by myself. I'm glad there is such a positive consensus about sailing solo but I just can't have peace of mind by myself.


Very sorry to see you have changed your mind. I hope you continue reading/learning. There are a lot of good folks here.

That said, and for future reference, I wish I would have seen this thread earlier. I have lived aboard just over 4 years (_new years day was my 4 year anniversary!_). I am a very short middle-aged female, btw.

I was quite disappointed with some of the comments, such as "_man up_," etcetera. There are a lot of places men can go without even remotely having to consider personal safety. Not so for women. Too bad some men do not see that. Then again, a fish cannot see the water in which it swims.

That said, your concerns are understandable. When I first moved aboard, I too, was concerned about safety. This was especially so when my boat was docked at a private slip in an area that wasn't the greatest. I did eventually find a really good marina with keyed access and awesome facilities. Even so, I no longer use them late at night due to a couple of encounters I had with some homeless people who broke into the ladies room.

While the marina I'm in is in a very low crime area, the biggest problem we have is people breaking into our vehicles and in some cases, stealing them. Though, I think this is an issue for land dwellers as well.

As for being safe sleeping on the boat? The biggest danger arguably comes from the water (_i.e., someone coming in via a dinghy_), since land access is gated. The first year I was here, we had a couple of thefts near the very end slips. My boat was/is quite a ways in. As a female, imho, that is something worth considering.

When I first moved aboard, I always closed everything up. Now days, I only close stuff up when it is cold. And that is just to keep in the warmth!

Also, I am very picky about inviting anyone I do not know well to my marina, much less my boat. This is especially so because my boat is in plain view from the shore, so it is really easy to see where I'm at. The only real thing, btw, that I don't like about being so far in.

Also, while the marina is gated, I asked other dock mates not to let anyone in if they say they're coming to visit me. Yes, even today, after four years. Tell them they need to give me a call, and I'll go let them in. Speaking of dock mates? I got to know my dock mates. So that really helped to set my mind at ease.

In the end, and if you do decide to shop around again, check out the marinas. Take a look at how well they're cared for. Check out the conditions of the boats. And the facilities! That will tell you a great deal with regard to the type of people you may encounter. Also, talk with the people. If you encounter other live aboards, ask them how they like it. What they think of living at that particular marina. And finally, consider parking. Is it well lit? Patrolled? Close? Or dark and far away?

My marina is arguably the nicest marina in the bay area. And we do have a fairly tight sailing community. That is, we all know each other, keep an eye out for each other. Both live aboards, cruisers, and weekend sailors.

And finally, even if you do decide to try moving aboard, remember, it is a different environment. What that means is that it will take time to get used to, to acclimate. It's like moving into a home near a train track. At first, the train wakes you up everytime it goes by. Over time, you end up sleeping right through. This is our natural way of protecting ourselves, by the way. Once our subconscious realizes something is safe, it files it away... no need to pay attention (_wake up_) when a train goes by because it does not present a danger.

For me, today, four years down the road? My boat is my home. I feel very safe. And I absolutely love it. Ymmv.


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## jjstick

shadowraiths said:


> Very sorry to see you have changed your mind. I hope you continue reading/learning. There are a lot of good folks here.


Thank you for your thorough response. I am still very much into the idea of boating and am learning more about it. I have plans to join a sailing group this year and take some courses on boat maintenance. I went to my first boat show this past weekend and met a lot of great boaters with friendly advice. In hindsight, it would have been very difficult (not impossible) for me to assimilate to the boat life this early on so I'm glad I bought myself some time to get more acquainted.


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## miatapaul

Depending on where you are there are some great sailing clubs that are quite affordable and often once you log a certain number of hours or courses you can take the boats out over night and I imagine even try sleeping overnight in the marina.


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## Moatflank

I agree with Chuck, a lot of it depends on where you are. If you're careful and take usual precautions, I think it would be okay in most places.


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## flandria

The alternative to a marina slip is a mooring. How secure are you there? Inflatable dinghies and small powerboats are everywhere and you can be boarded there, with possibly less alternatives for a proper response. If, indeed, you are now on a mooring, what benefits are you looking for in a slip? Power, water, easy access?


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## outbound

Living and sleeping on a boat is more convenient in a slip. Groceries, repairs, laundry, filling water tanks and sundry other chores big and little are easier. If you make friends with your dock neighbors safety increases. Most marinas bunch liveaboards together which becomes a little community. We help each other figure out system repairs, lend a hand, loan specialized tools, teach each other or help if after a trip to the sailmaker to rebend on sails. Things like that are very helpful. Also we discuss where to get things and reviews of local stores and prices. 
Even with usual polite ways that people learn (knock on hull, respect a closed companion way, only approach if evidence of activity etc.) there is less privacy. There maybe unwanted noise and nosiness . But all in all it's easier. 
Major downside is expense and feeling you're on a floating condo not cruising. There is a delight being at anchor or even swinging on a mooring which can't be denied. However, if due to work or family you need to stay in a region the day to day logistics are easier. 
I also think in some ways being in a slip is harder on the boat. Stray current. Less water movement, more dirt. Sun effects always on the same side of the boat unless you reverse how you dock periodically.Most people dock stern in. I like docking bow in. More privacy. Less surprises as people need to walk down the finger before getting to the cockpit. Also where I am now better ventilation when the hatches are open when bow in.
Wife has slept on the boat alone. She feels secure and this hasn't been an issue for her. Initially she locked the companionway but also locked the stateroom. Hatches have a locked ventilation setting or she runs the AC.


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## MarkofSeaLife

When I started this cruising stuff i was quite against being locked up inside like home in a city house. But we got a lockable hatch door tgat i use whether in a marina, anchor or mooring. 
It makes me feel safer.










At home you dont sleep with the front door swinging wide open, so why would you on a boat?


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## 413761

My wife and I lived aboard for many years everywhere from Canada to the Caribbean, and just by the nature of things she would be alone on board at times--sometimes for periods of weeks while I was off doing something. My basic advice is that you are at least as safe aboard as you would be ashore in the same community, and often safer. First, most predators are not boaters so they have no idea how boat stuff works. Most marinas in areas with any type of crime have a night watch person, locked gates, and usually fellow boaters onboard other boats nearby. Most boaters are far, far more observant and also willing to act than typical landlubbers should any situation arise just due to the nature of boating. I know that I never walk down a dock without subconsciously checking everyone's lines, power cords, whether or not things look out of place. I can't count the number of times I have gone out and prowled the docks at night when I heard something odd, and I have found and stopped crime in the marina before. Yes, it does happen, but it as I wrote at the beginning I think at the worst it would be no better than living in an apartment in the same neighborhood, and typically it is far, far safer. 95% of the crime is theft, and I have never heard of an assault on a boat in a marina where I have been. If it looks dicey for some reason just ask the other boaters--the boater's grapevine is invaluable. In fact, long before you arrive at the marina you can usually find out about it via online forums or via radio. On a mooring or on the hook multiply the safety times 10. Very few people are boaters or have any idea of how to use a dinghy--forget swimming out at night unless you are too close to shore. It is not easy to climb aboard many boats from the water in the first place. You can lock your companionway and hatches in such a way that the breeze still flows through, keep an air horn handy, be able to turn on deck lights quickly, and that will scare away 95% of the tiny number of people who might be able to make it to your boat. By the way, anyone swimming out will not have a substantial weapon on them either. Here in New England and along most of the East Coast of the USA living aboard in a marina is probably 10 times safer than living on land in the same community. Choose one in a smaller, more rural community and chances are 90% of the boats are left unlocked all the time because there is a greater danger of the boat sinking unattended than anything being stolen. In many harbors we don't even bother to close up the boat when we go ashore from anchor--no crime to speak of.


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## siddfynch

I was pretty surprised to see how many folks don't think safety is a concern for single females on a boat. Bluntly, I think this reflects limited life experience. 

If you're staying in a boat, whether in a marina or on the hook, please take some basic precautions. Make it hard for someone to enter once you're inside, make it easy to raise an alarm or call for help (air horn, cell phone, etc.), and keep something for self defense. I have had the misfortune of getting some whiffs of bear spray a few times and I can tell you it is incredibly powerful stuff. A dose of that sprayed out an open window, at point blank range, would send someone overboard to get away. Get the real stuff, meant to drive off bears.

I'm a dude, by the way. Not paranoid, just realistic.


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## ianjoub

siddfynch said:


> I was pretty surprised to see how many folks don't think safety is a concern for single females on a boat. Bluntly, I think this reflects limited life experience.


We are told over and over that women are equal to men. We don't, as men, worry about staying on our boats. Therefore, if we advised women that it may be dangerous, we would be sexist.


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## siddfynch

ianjoub said:


> We are told over and over that women are equal to men. We don't, as men, worry about staying on our boats. Therefore, if we advised women that it may be dangerous, we would be sexist.


I disagree with this on many levels.

First, don't conflate "women are equal to men" as women and men being equally vulnerable to certain types of crimes. You are creating a specious argument where none existed.

Second, who exactly are you referring to as "we" not worrying about staying on our boats? Do you speak for all men? I'm a man, and I take all the same precautions for myself when overnighting - every time - that I describe above. Stuff happens, regardless of gender, and it's easy to take a few simple precautions. Perhaps you are a little sexist for assuming no men worry about this (OK, maybe you are a LOT sexist).

Third, telling people they are sexist for advising women take extra precautions is beside the point. Go ahead and finger wag while the rest of us go about our lives in the real world. Suggesting precautions is very different from telling people they can't/shouldn't do something.


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