# Why Children should go cruising



## Lin and Larry

I was given permission to use a lovely story Ian Johnstone sent to the Flying Fish, the ocean Cruising Clubs year book (well, twice a year book actually), I think he shows a well balanced view of cruising with children and the reasons he and his wife love it. You can see it under our cruising tip section. Here's the URL - Why you should take Children Cruising | Lin & Larry Pardey: Newsletters & Cruising Tips

We have always tried to encourage folks to take their children sailing. Even had the fun of teaching several cruising children to sail in our dinghies, Cheeky and Rinky Dink. When I meet them as adults, they always talk of the freedom and fun they had in those small tenders.


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## chall03

Great article. Always interested in the different experiences different cruising families have.


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## mad_machine

Maybe not cruising.. but I have a 12 year old niece who now lives with my mom.. I am looking forwards to showing her the wonders of boats and sail. I may have to set up a camera for that first sail


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## campuscab

I can't wait to get my kids on the water, I just met a lady the,cruised the Bahamas at 12 with her dad. She said it,was,the best time of her life. By the way thanks for sharing your life,with us you are an inspiration to us everywhere.


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## Cruisingdad

Lin and Larry said:


> I was given permission to use a lovely story Ian Johnstone sent to the Flying Fish, the ocean Cruising Clubs year book (well, twice a year book actually), I think he shows a well balanced view of cruising with children and the reasons he and his wife love it. You can see it under our cruising tip section. Here's the URL - Why you should take Children Cruising | Lin & Larry Pardey: Newsletters & Cruising Tips
> 
> We have always tried to encourage folks to take their children sailing. Even had the fun of teaching several cruising children to sail in our dinghies, Cheeky and Rinky Dink. When I meet them as adults, they always talk of the freedom and fun they had in those small tenders.


Hey Lin and Larry,

Nice post.

I just wanted to add, after reading the section you posted, how important it is to try and find other kid boats and try and keep it kid focused. THey mentioned that in their article, and I wholly agree. As a cruising dad with two boys (same age as their kids, incidentally), I have found our kids socialize very well with adults and other cruisers and other cruising kids. However, with land based kids, there is a gap. But they need that interaction with other kids badly... and it is with other cruising kids that they can all speak te same language.

Funny... our boat also has a PS3 and Wii, and when we are around other boating kids, guess where they all are? I am not saying every parent should do that, but like the authors of the post, it is not bad every once in a while.

Another trick we have learned is a way to get them off the boat to explore on their own. We originally got my oldest a tender, but both he and his brother came to prefer kayaks. THey have been awesome and are cheap. As a cruising parent, I would suggest looking into that.

Anyways, good article L&L.

Brian


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## MarkofSeaLife

The only good reason to have children cruising is to lower the average age of cruisers from 89 to 86....

It's really not a conducive environment for kids to grow up with very very few of their peers.

So many cruisers say the kids are much more 'advanced' and can communicate wi adults like adults. But I beg to differ... The kids can't communicate with other people their own age!

I saw a group of 13 and 14 year old boys and girls meet for the first time, about 5 of them, but I couldn't really count as they keep wriggling, and none knew what to do to relate to each other!

In different ports its often one finds a child who really is very deficient in the normal skills a kid needs to survive life... Except to be able to open coconuts and speak to retiree cruisers.

The parents may think its so cool never to have TV and never to be exposed to the news and current affairs of the bad old big world, but that's setting the kids up to have a devastatingly bad transition back to normal life when they can finally escape the tyranny of their claustrophobic parents.

Of the group of 14 year olds mentioned above the ONLY freedom they seem to have is to be allowed to drive the dinghy! Most families don't have two dinghies so the kids can go explore and adventure. They can only go with mum and dad or be shunted around when older like a aquatic version of Mums Taxi.

If willing to subject your offspring to inferior school teaching (you) and a life of learning little about life then I think it's an absolute requirement to ensure they book into normal schools along the way (yes! They may have to study with a native kids!), combine cruising plans with other children from WELL BROUGHT UP FAMILIES, have extensive times in a home country, and have parents who have done some type of course in how to teach school work to remote located people.... And a whole lot more.

It probably obvious, if you are still reading this, that I don't have any children (though a rustling in the lazarette got me scared)... But that doesn't mean you can't listen to my view and take many, long, rational steps instead of just thinking its going to be a wonderful thing for yours.....


Mark


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## MarkofSeaLife

BTW, I didnt read Brian, CruisingDads post before I wrote mine.
I think he's pretty spot on in his comments. Very much like the kayaks for the kids.


Another thought...

If a child goes to high school and there are 100 children in that one school grade, he/she may only make great friends with, say 5 of them. In cruising children do not have as large a sample of other children of their same age so the are obliged to make friends with unlike minded children.

I am not sure if that's good or bad.... Fine for the gregarious...


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## Cruisingdad

MarkofSeaLife said:


> The only good reason to have children cruising is to lower the average age of cruisers from 89 to 86....
> 
> It's really not a conducive environment for kids to grow up with very very few of their peers.
> 
> So many cruisers say the kids are much more 'advanced' and can communicate wi adults like adults. But I beg to differ... The kids can't communicate with other people their own age!
> 
> I saw a group of 13 and 14 year old boys and girls meet for the first time, about 5 of them, but I couldn't really count as they keep wriggling, and none knew what to do to relate to each other!
> 
> In different ports its often one finds a child who really is very deficient in the normal skills a kid needs to survive life... Except to be able to open coconuts and speak to retiree cruisers.
> 
> The parents may think its so cool never to have TV and never to be exposed to the news and current affairs of the bad old big world, but that's setting the kids up to have a devastatingly bad transition back to normal life when they can finally escape the tyranny of their claustrophobic parents.
> 
> Of the group of 14 year olds mentioned above the ONLY freedom they seem to have is to be allowed to drive the dinghy! Most families don't have two dinghies so the kids can go explore and adventure. They can only go with mum and dad or be shunted around when older like a aquatic version of Mums Taxi.
> 
> If willing to subject your offspring to inferior school teaching (you) and a life of learning little about life then I think it's an absolute requirement to ensure they book into normal schools along the way (yes! They may have to study with a native kids!), combine cruising plans with other children from WELL BROUGHT UP FAMILIES, have extensive times in a home country, and have parents who have done some type of course in how to teach school work to remote located people.... And a whole lot more.
> 
> It probably obvious, if you are still reading this, that I don't have any children (though a rustling in the lazarette got me scared)... But that doesn't mean you can't listen to my view and take many, long, rational steps instead of just thinking its going to be a wonderful thing for yours.....
> 
> Mark


Agree with a lot of what you are saying, disagree with some too.

I have said many times (and actually got called down on Cruisers Forum) that social skills are very important for kids. Too many people seem to think it is not necessary, they don't need that, etc. What a load of BS! That has not been my experience. As I said above, when my kids get around other boating kids or other cruisers (especially adults), they can converse very well. There are no issues. It suprises me Mark that you saw cruising kids not communicating because I see just the opposite. They immediately latch onto each other and can speak each others language. They quickly fish together, swim together, play very similar games together. Like the article above, we elected to put in a large tv and Wii and PS3. It is very limited to be honest (they have to earn it via effort in school, doing extra chores, learning more boat skills, etc). But it gives them something of an incentive and something for them to look forward to. And lets be honest, the kids on the outside (the "normal" kids), all do it and it has in the past given our boys an 'in' to speak their language. But many other things they simply have not learned. One of the hardest for our kids to understand is bullying or fights. You don't do it in this environment (the occasionaly brotherly scuffle, but that is different). So they have difficulty understanding why other kids would be mean and how to respond.

I also agree with you Mark on the need to give the kids their freedom. It is tough!!!! I won't lie. THe Kayaks are a perfect avenue for them to get away from mom and dad and just be kids. We do set boundaries and give them a VHF (Chase also has a phone... one of many replaced!!). But you have to learn by doing and letting them out to explore. THey will gain a better appreciation and enjoy it more. I mean, let;s be honest again: I love watching sunsets, listening to Marley, grilling out, having a beer and having nice conversations. The kids will get really bored with that in no time!! You have to plan around your kids, and you have to be conscious of what makes them happy. Otherwise, I think you have lost sight as a parent of what is important and one of the reasons to go cruising in the first place.

Mark, your information is a bit outdated on the schooling and interaction though. Our kids participate in Florida Virtual Home School. It is actually run by the state of Florida. It is an online course, with many other kids, set curriculum, a teacher they converse with, principals, etc. It is a school without the walls. They even get a diploma (not a GED) when they graduate. THere are many outside field trips organized to get kids together and socialize. This is the future of schooling I think. More schools are going this route to save money. Not to mention, my kids are some of the top in the state (including the brick and mortar kids). That is because we also interact and help educate them. We are right there with them from start to finish and make sure they learn what they learn. THere are issues with this program for cruisers which I have discussed in another thread, but for many, it is a good choice.

In the end, we have to remember as parents, that our kids have to integrate back into the society many of us find pointless. Whether that is the real world or this is the real world is irrelevant. I met a two kids THursday that spent a similar life as cruising. One is graduating form U of M with a CHemE degree, the other is in his second year as a MechE. I met another mom and dad in Longboat and Venice who raised their kids on their boat. One is a physician, the other a psychiatrist? I cannot remember her background. I have also met a cruiser, indirectly, who raised his kids on the boat and his kid NEVER integrated back into society. He couldn't do school or understand other kids. He now plays the guitar for local bars, when he can get a gig, waiting for his chance to get out of the USA... with many doubts he will ever be able to afford it. I have also met two other girls (inetersting they were both girls) who were so neglected, i have no doubts their future is not very bright.

In the end, it is not the boat. It is not the RV or the house. It is the parents and the attitudes. Cruising is not easy for kids. That is why parents have to approach this with the right understanding and attitude. I still think for many families, it is a marvelous decision. THe reason there are not more kids out here has very little to do with desire (IMHO), it is a matter of finances.

Brian


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## MarkofSeaLife

Nicely thought out and written, Brian.


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## BayWindRider

I remember seeing a bunch of boat kids jumping off of a dinghy in The Balboa Yacht Club in Panama. There parents were waiting to cross the canal and some working to increase the kitty. The kids were the stars of the marina and seemed well adjusted.


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## CrushChee

Great article. Always interested in the different experiences different cruising families have.

Like

__________________
'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing' - Helen Keller


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## xort

we need EVERY child raised by the state run school so they can all be EXACTLY the same. Viewing MTV should be required, otherwise how will children learn how to behave? It should be a crime like it is in Germany to not send your child to the govt school. We can give them brown shirts too.


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## FSMike

MarkofSeaLife said:


> ---
> 
> I saw a group of 13 and 14 year old boys and girls meet for the first time, about 5 of them, but I couldn't really count as they keep wriggling, and none knew what to do to relate to each other!----


Mark, considering the ages and the gender difference I think you would have seen the same behavior had it happened with land kids who were strangers. When hormones raise their ugly heads all bets are off.


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## labatt

Wow.. just read this thread and I have to say that I very much disagree with Mark's comments. We lived on our boat for two years, a year and a half of which was cruising from Lake Champlain to the southern Bahamas and back. We did this with our two kids who were 11 (son) and 7 (daughter) when we started.

Their social skills became so radically BETTER during and after our cruise than they were before.

Cruising kids are forced to socialize with EVERYONE - whether they are 5 years old or 80 years old. I remember a get together in Georgetown (Exumas) with all of the kids from the anchorages. There were probably 30 there, varying in age from 5 years old to 17 or 18. They were ALL communicating with and engaging each other the entire time. There was no awkwardness. There was no twiddling of thumbs. These kids realized that if they wanted to do anything other than hang out with their parents, they had to make friends with everyone - regardless of whether they were the same age or not. It was amazing watching all of these kids interacting with each other.

When we reached ports, our kids learned to jump off our boat and seek out other kid boats. They met kids all over the world that they still keep in touch with - several years later. By the end of our cruise, we were hanging out with 6 or 7 other kid boats and went from place to place with them. The daily routine would be... wake up, spend a few hours doing schoolwork, and then the VHFs would start lighting up with the calls from boat to boat to figure out who was going swimming, snorkeling, hanging out with, etc. with who.

Today, a few years later, my kids still comment that they found their self confidence because of the cruise. They don't care what others think, and they have no problem meeting people. They both are adamant in the fact that being cruising kids, going through life and death experiences, being forced to meet and befreind people quickly, etc. is what has made them so great today.

By the way - my son becomes a senior in high school next year and my daughter will be going into 8th grade. They are still ABSOLUTELY inseparable and love to do everything together. They rarely argue, and still give each other hugs and a peck every night before they go to bed. My son will bring our daughter to hang out with his friends and is not the least bit embarrassed by it.

So... point being... our kids are amazingly well adjusted and we owe it to the cruise.

Oh... and with regards to school... our first year we used a pre-made home schooling course. We were able to get through the stuff our kids knew quickly, and spend time on the things they didn't. Because we were returning to New York for our son's high school, we had him go home for a few days to take some placement tests. For the home schooled material, he scored at the highest levels within his classes.


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## Cruisingdad

labatt said:


> Wow.. just read this thread and I have to say that I very much disagree with Mark's comments. We lived on our boat for two years, a year and a half of which was cruising from Lake Champlain to the southern Bahamas and back. We did this with our two kids who were 11 (son) and 7 (daughter) when we started.
> 
> Their social skills became so radically BETTER during and after our cruise than they were before.
> 
> Cruising kids are forced to socialize with EVERYONE - whether they are 5 years old or 80 years old. I remember a get together in Georgetown (Exumas) with all of the kids from the anchorages. There were probably 30 there, varying in age from 5 years old to 17 or 18. They were ALL communicating with and engaging each other the entire time. There was no awkwardness. There was no twiddling of thumbs. These kids realized that if they wanted to do anything other than hang out with their parents, they had to make friends with everyone - regardless of whether they were the same age or not. It was amazing watching all of these kids interacting with each other.
> 
> When we reached ports, our kids learned to jump off our boat and seek out other kid boats. They met kids all over the world that they still keep in touch with - several years later. By the end of our cruise, we were hanging out with 6 or 7 other kid boats and went from place to place with them. The daily routine would be... wake up, spend a few hours doing schoolwork, and then the VHFs would start lighting up with the calls from boat to boat to figure out who was going swimming, snorkeling, hanging out with, etc. with who.
> 
> Today, a few years later, my kids still comment that they found their self confidence because of the cruise. They don't care what others think, and they have no problem meeting people. They both are adamant in the fact that being cruising kids, going through life and death experiences, being forced to meet and befreind people quickly, etc. is what has made them so great today.
> 
> By the way - my son becomes a senior in high school next year and my daughter will be going into 8th grade. They are still ABSOLUTELY inseparable and love to do everything together. They rarely argue, and still give each other hugs and a peck every night before they go to bed. My son will bring our daughter to hang out with his friends and is not the least bit embarrassed by it.
> 
> So... point being... our kids are amazingly well adjusted and we owe it to the cruise.
> 
> Oh... and with regards to school... our first year we used a pre-made home schooling course. We were able to get through the stuff our kids knew quickly, and spend time on the things they didn't. Because we were returning to New York for our son's high school, we had him go home for a few days to take some placement tests. For the home schooled material, he scored at the highest levels within his classes.


Love it!! Hoped you would chime in. Still hoping to catch up.

Take care,

Brian


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## OPossumTX

xort said:


> we need EVERY child raised by the state run school so they can all be EXACTLY the same. Viewing MTV should be required, otherwise how will children learn how to behave? It should be a crime like it is in Germany to not send your child to the govt school. We can give them brown shirts too.


And with those distinctive uniforms, They let them be awarded little silver handled daggers to prove they are well trained, indoctrinated and trusted tools of the state. All of this so they can all learn to be good slaves of the Government and to honor the country of their birth!

IMO, better they should be happy, free, loved, well educated and have a sharp sailor's knife to cut a line when needed or to free themselves from a tangle in a upset.

Let them learn to honor their father and mother and to be able to wisely plot and capably steer their own course.

This world has had quite enough indoctrinated youths and child soldiers to feed into the meat grinders of war. Any government that trains their children to be subjects and soldiers before they are trained to be free, discerning, productive citizens is seriously suspect to my way of thinking.

Let your children know that there are things worth fighting for and that freedom to be able to raise your children your way is one of them!


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## labatt

Brian -

The current end to the story is.. my wife so enjoyed home schooling our kids that when we got back she went for her masters in education, and is now a fully employed full time teacher at a residential school for girls with problems... and she's loving it.


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## Cruisingdad

labatt said:


> Brian -
> 
> The current end to the story is.. my wife so enjoyed home schooling our kids that when we got back she went for her masters in education, and is now a fully employed full time teacher at a residential school for girls with problems... and she's loving it.


Love it.

Cruising has a lot of aspects to it. All of them will change you. For good or bad? Well, it still comes down to mom and dad. Thats is why you do well, no matter boat, rv, house, apartment, etc.

Sure wish we could have caught up with you. Would have been fun. Sitting in boot key now and have met some great kid boats. But it is time to move on again. Think we will head up the east coast. Never done that. Would love your input from a dads perspective.

Take care.

Bria


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## labatt

Best places on the east coast for kids (that we stopped at)? Lots of activities for both adults and kids that aren't tough to get to when anchored off in the following locales:

Charleston, Beaufort (NC), Norfolk, Annapolis, New York City, Mystic (Long Island Sound), Cape Cod and then several points in Maine if you want to go that far north.

I also hear nice things about Savannah but we didn't make it there.

Let me know if you have questions about any of these spots.

P.S. If you make it as far as NY in August, and are still on the Hudson side of NY, we'll meet up with you for a few days.


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## Cruisingdad

labatt said:


> Best places on the east coast for kids (that we stopped at)? Lots of activities for both adults and kids that aren't tough to get to when anchored off in the following locales:
> 
> Charleston, Beaufort (NC), Norfolk, Annapolis, New York City, Mystic (Long Island Sound), Cape Cod and then several points in Maine if you want to go that far north.
> 
> I also hear nice things about Savannah but we didn't make it there.
> 
> Let me know if you have questions about any of these spots.
> 
> P.S. If you make it as far as NY in August, and are still on the Hudson side of NY, we'll meet up with you for a few days.


We may do that. I will drop you a pm later today or tomorrow. We head to Bimini (hopefully) this weekend and may hang in the Abacos a few weeks. After that, well, we are open for suggestions. Going to post this as a thread on sn too.

Thanks again and lets chat!

B


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## labatt

Just so this is searchable (and not in PM)...

Bimini is great. We spent two weeks in a slip at Bimini Sands marina and dinghied to North Bimini when we wanted to go over. By being in the south we were closer to some better snorkeling spots, plus there's a couple of cool nature hikes and the shark center (where they actually filmed some of Shark Week on Discovery). I don't know what's still around - things open and close in the Bahamas on a daily basis.

One of the neat things about Bimini Sands was that they had a kids program for employees but we snuck our kids into it. They were the only two (very) white kids in a group of Bahamanian kids with strong accents.. really kind of taught them what it was like to be different. They actually ended up becoming friends with a number of the kids who ended up hanging out on our boat.. until their parents (employees) told them not to (since we were guests there). Anyway... good experience (I think) for our kids.


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## Schleprock

Great opportunity prior to going to high school.


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